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"Starsk, I can't."
"You can't or you won't?"
"Can't. I'd be taking your whole family away from you."
"I hate to burst your bubble blondie, but you don't have that power."
"You know what I mean. It's a big thing."
"It's huge, otherwise it wouldn't be worth doing."
"But, your mom."
"Mom is going to be fine."
"And Nick?"
"Who cares what Nicky thinks. He'd better think, 'happy for my big brother', or else."
"Starsk, I know your family are good people. Not like- Well, just not like some others. But it's a bit much to ask of anyone."
"What? It's too much to acknowledge that you're gorgeous?"
"Quit joking."
"That you're a blond Viking god who's in love with me?"
"I'm serious, you dufus."
"That you make me happy every night of the week, and twice on Saturdays?"
"Stop that."
"Well, it'd have to be Saturdays, 'cause it's a special blessing on the Sabbath. Technically we'd have to do it on Friday night after sunset. You up for that? Twice on a Friday?"
"Starsky!"
"I'm up for it. Or maybe it's you do me, and then I do you. And that would make it twice. Plenty of bodily fluids exchanged. Not sure it will result in a baby, but we can definitely give it all we got."
"Starsk, will your mother really okay with finding out her first-born son is gay and in love with a WASP goy? She'll hate me."
"Hutch, my mom has known I'm bi since before they shipped me off to So Cal."
"You, she, what?"
"Yeah, I'm not saying that's why she sent me to live down here, but let's just say it wasn't a great thing to have rumored around on the streets of New York."
"No, I guess not. My folks would've killed me."
"You knew back then?"
"I think maybe. I don't know. I certainly never told anyone. And maybe they wouldn't have killed me exactly, but they would've found somewhere to ship me off to as well."
"Nah, that's not how it was. Mom knew and she didn't fight it. She hoped it was a phase, but when I hadn't changed by the time I went to 'Nam, she just told me to find the right person."
"Wow."
"That's Mom. And because of that, I know she will want to know you're her de facto son-in-law. Cause if there was a law allowing it, I'd have Dobey marry us in a second."
"That fast, huh?"
"Damn right. And Huggy can give you away if you want."
"No thanks. I'll walk down the aisle by myself. I'm emancipated."
"Not too emancipated to be my husband and wife and everything?"
"I can try, but I will fail. Because I'm already caught in your web. And you make having a mother-in-law sound really good."
"Mom already loves you. It may not be too much of a surprise to her, when I take you home and present her with my kinda-husband."
"Total husband, I'll have you know. And you're mine, don't you forget it."
"You sure now, Hutch?"
"Positive. But just as long as I don't mess up your relationship with your mother, because that's precious. Much more than-"
"It's not a competition, Hutch. I love her. I love you. And if you love me-"
"I do."
"Then we're all good. She's gonna love you. She already does, goy boy."
"Starsk. I said, 'I do.' I need to know. Do you?"
"I do, too. Dufus."
"That's husband Dufus to you."