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“So, so that’s it. That’s everything. So, um. So. Doyouwanttogooutwithme?”
Gar stared at the fidgeting young man in front of him and tried to work out how they’d ended up here. Bart was twisting on the spot, peering at Gar through his fringe, blushing a little and biting his lip in nervousness. His hands twined together in front of him, constantly moving, just a little faster than human. Occasionally he’d blur a little.
“No,” said Gar, with a great effort of will. He had to force the word out of his mouth and it came out as a wheeze. It apparently wasn’t very convincing.
“Gar, please.”
“No,” Gar said again, trying to sound more emphatic. “Bart, we can’t. You’re, you’re like, six!”
Bart rolled his eyes. “If I have to wait till I’m chronologically sixteen or whatever, I’m going to go nuts.”
“Okay, but, but,” Gar waved a finger as he tried to work out what had happened to the rest of his argument. “But even if we go by physical age, we still can’t. It’d be illegal.”
This didn’t seem to hold any more weight than the previous statement.
“It’d be weird,” Gar said.
Bart’s shoulders slumped, but Gar suspected he hadn’t entirely given up all hope yet. And perhaps he was right to, because Gar had to admit that he did hold the kid in an excess of affection, and it wasn’t hard to notice that he was, well, growing up hot. And knowing that he was breaking Bart’s heart now was killing him.
“Look,” Gar said desperately, “it’s not that I don’t like you, Bart. You’re great. I love hanging out with you. It’s just... Well, Wally would kill me, for a start. Because... because I’m not good enough for you.”
He hadn’t intended to put it like that. He certainly hadn’t intended to mean it that much.
Bart’s bottom lip was trembling. “Wally-” he began.
Gar held up a hand. “Has nothing to do with it, I know. It doesn’t help on the weird front, though, okay? It’s... I’m meant to be your mentor, Bart. That’s a sacred trust. Student teacher relationships are-” ‘hot’, Gar’s brain supplied, “-wrong.”
He took a breath to continue, but Bart raised a hand.
“I get it,” Bart said, voice cracking. “I... I get it, okay? You can stop inventing reasons now.”
Gar sighed. “I’m sorry,” he said.
Bart wavered, swaying back and forth like he wasn’t sure whether to go or stay. Gar could see the first few escaping tears. He couldn’t stop himself from taking a step towards Bart, and opening his arms. Kid needed a hug. Gar needed a hug, if he was honest.
Bart almost knocked Gar backwards.
“Sorrysorrysorrysorrysorry,” Bart mumbled into Gar’s chest. “I’msorryI-”
“Shhh,” Gar murmured, holding Bart tighter. “It’s okay.” He could feel the huge wrenching sobs shaking Bart’s frame. He pressed his nose to Bart’s hair and hung on.
Bart’s tears slowed to a stop quickly to Gar’s mind, but he wondered how long Bart had been going in his own. He rubbed circles on Bart’s back and nuzzled his ear. He resisted the urge to nibble it.
“See,” Gar said, hoping to inject some levity into the situation, “I’m a terrible person. I make you cry. You don’t want to go out with me.”
Bart raised his head to glower at Gar. The frown didn’t last though, and Gar found himself staring into a pair of adoring golden eyes, lashes gummed together by tears but still impressively long. Gar’s heart skipped a few beats.
Bart smiled at him. Sadly, but it was definitely a smile.
“You’re not terrible,” he said with more sincerity that Gar was comfortable with. “Sometimes, it feels like you’re the only person who’s not. You...” Bart blushed slightly, and glanced down, but he met Gar’s eyes again before continuing. “This,” he said. “This is a good example. No one else ever touches me any more. Tim was never very touchy, but Kon and Cassie... I thought I’d done something horrific. I thought everyone hated me. Everyone changed and no one was talking to me any more, but you did. You let me hang out with you even though it was kinda obvious you’d rather I wasn’t there. You knew how to cheer me up.”
Gar cuddled Bart closer to his chest. He felt like a heel, but it was doing his ego so much good to hear these things. God, he was a terrible person.
“I’ve been watching you, a lot. You’re good with everyone, Gar. You... I don’t know. I figured, after what I heard about Terra, that you weren’t really as interested in dating as you make out sometimes, and, you know, that that’s probably not the sort of hurt to go away. Coz of Rose. I get that, because of Rose, I think. And I thought, perhaps, you might be being nice to me because you knew what it was like to be the youngest, the one no one listens to. And, and-”
Gar couldn’t stand to hear their similarities listed any longer, especially as his brain started adding more: learning to love foster parents and losing them, being naturally cheerful and being hurt be others who thought you didn’t take life seriously enough, not seeing the point in maintaining a separate civilian identity...
“Bart, I tried to kill you once,” Gar said. “Remember? I was a big tentacley monster?”
“That wasn’t me specifically,” Bart argued, “and it was Raven making you do it. And if I can like Raven perfectly well, why shouldn’t I get on with you?” He bit his lip and lowered his gaze. “Look,” he said, “I’m not trying to persuade you, okay? I get that no means no. I guess... I just want you to understand. I don’t want stuff to get awkward. I really appreciate your friendship.” Gar felt his shudder, rather than saw. “Sometimes it feels like you’re the only friend I’ve got.”
“You and Mia seem to be getting on well,” Gar said in a rush, hoping to get it out before all the warm fuzzy feeling and heartrending sympathy got the better of him. It was going to be really difficult to let go of Bart. He couldn’t say any more past the lump in his throat, and was glad that he was just enough taller than Bart to rest his chin on Bart’s head so Bart couldn’t see how close to tears he was.
He felt Bart move against his chest, and a light kiss was placed on his collarbone. And another, more lingering one. Then Bart tried to move away, but Gar couldn’t bear to release him just yet.
“Gar?”
‘Shut up,’ Gar wanted to say. ‘I’m busy falling in love with you. I know you can be patient, even if the others don’t seem to believe it. So just shut up a few moments longer and whatever you do, don’t move.’
“Are you alright?”
“I’m a terrible, terrible person,” Gar said, and kissed Bart.