Chapter Text
Martin had known that his brother was different since they were young. He was temperamental and tidy, would storm in and out the house leaving nothing in his path but rigorous neatness. The smell of disinfectant.
They weren’t very close.
Martin was certainly not the most typical of children but he got along with people, smiled easily, and had a light heart. There was nothing airy or approachable in Kevin, he was either standoffish or trying too hard and neither of those moods appealed to anyone but their parents.
One day when said parents were away (he couldn’t remember the reason anymore) he had gone out late to hang out with friends. Coming home he remembered thinking that Kevin must have done the same, the lights were out and he couldn’t hear anything but the sound of his own movement.
Until he got upstairs.
Though it was still pitch black he could hear that Kevin was in his room. His bed creaked slowly and there was a soft voice coming from behind the door.
Being the younger sibling, he felt the overwhelming urge to investigate this and so he did. Creeping slowly closer and avoiding the spots on the hardwood that gave away your position.
Still silently he opened the door a crack and then knelt down, continuing to open it from the bottom just enough to see into the room. It was dark but the light from the window was enough to illuminate two figures on the bed.
Martin grinned, covering his mouth. He hoped it was that Lena girl from down the street, his mom hated her and warned them both repeatedly not to hang around her. It would be perfect blackmail material, get him out of chores for at least a month.
However when the other person spoke he realized that it was not Lena.
It was not even a girl.
“Do you want to do it again?”
“No- Yes. I don’t know.”
“Oh, was it bad?”
“I don’t know, I’ve never kissed an-”
At that moment as if sensing a presence, Kevin’s head shot around towards the door and Martin ran, abandoning any stealth in order to take off down the hall and fly into his own room. He barely shut the door when it burst open again and he was grabbed, tackled to the ground with a hard thump. He cried out in pain and Kevin yanked him so he was sitting up. Kevin’s hands were digging into the material of Martin’s shirt and Martin’s hands were wrapped around Kevin’s wrists, trying to escape his hold.
A car drove down the street and the yellow light illuminated his brother’s face for an instant, it was contorted in anger and fear. When he spoke his voice trembled.
“What did you see?”
“Nothing! Let me go!”
“What did you see Martin!?”
“You’re hurting me dumbass let me go!”
They both heard footsteps rush from Kevin’s room down the stairs and then the back door slam.
“You can’t tell Mom okay?” Kevin said, first in a whisper and then louder, practically shouting the words. “You can’t tell her!”
“I won’t!” Martin shouted back, twisting Kevin’s wrist enough for him to loosen his grip and be pushed away. They were both on the floor now, sitting half-up and glaring. Their breathing harsh and hearts beating too fast. Another car drove by and the shadows on the walls judged the scene. “I won’t.” He repeated, softer now, a promise.
Kevin stood and took a moment to look down at his brother before backing away, waiting for the wall to stop him. “You better not.” He said, opening the door and slipping back out into the hallway.
Martin let himself lay back down. He had a headache but other than that he was fine. He felt tears prick his eyes, it hurt. A dull, throbbing pain. His mind raced, confused and frightened. What had he seen? What had he seen?
He wouldn’t tell mom, he didn’t want to. There was something in Kevin’s eyes, something wild and trapped and it made his heart ache for him. They both knew that it was something wrong, that it was a moment that had been caught rather than witnessed.
When he next opened his eyes it was because sunlight was warming his face. He stretched and stood up, his whole body hurt from sleeping on the floor but his headache had dissipated. He smelled pancakes but he felt tired, exhausted. And so instead of joining his family for breakfast he crawled into bed and buried himself under the covers, falling back asleep.