Chapter Text
Taeyong was vibrating with excitement. It was five minutes to midnight but he couldn’t fall asleep even though he was supposed to. His mother had hid a smile, allowing Taeyong to hide under his blankets and pretend just for tonight. As soon as the clock strikes twelve, it will be his birthday and he will finally know who his soulmate is.
Minutes felt like hours and Taeyong anxiously bit on his nails unconsciously. His bright eyes stared intensely at his right inner forearm with the help of his phone’s flashlight, wanting to see the way the dark letters appears onto his pale skin. Even the overly brightness of light and heat burning into his skin due to the long exposure does nothing to deter him from his attentiveness.
He heard the chime of his clock before he sees the beginnings of an inky blackness spreading across his forearm delicately. A name appeared, and his eyes widened impossibly big as another and another and another and another name made its appearance one after the other. With slightly agape jaws, he studied the different names on his skin in wonder. The varying languages intrigued Taeyong, and he was ecstatic to learn how to pronounce the foreign names while rolling his tongue around the unfamiliar Korean names, testing the sound of it for the very first time.
Quickly scrambling out of bed, Taeyong ran to his parent’s room as fast as his little legs could carry him, unable to contain the exhilaration he felt at the sheer number of his soulmates. He burst into their still-brightly-lit room without warning, words spilling hurriedly past his lips.
“Look! Look!” Taeyong thrusts out his right arm in his parents’ direction, half-yelling in his eagerness to share his newfound knowledge that it is possible to have more than one soulmate. “Does this mean that I have five soulmates?”
The beaming smile on Taeyong’s face slowly faded as he noticed the way his parents froze when they saw his forearm. Instead of the smiles and enthusiasm he was expecting, he watched a myriad of expressions flit across their eyes – from shock, to an indescribable expression his young mind was unable to process, to horror, before it finally settled on anger. Cold, hard anger. Taeyong instinctively took a small step back, cowering slightly in fear. He had never felt this much rage radiating towards him, much less from his parents.
“Never,” his mother hissed as her hand shot out to grab hold of Taeyong’s fragile forearm tightly, just as he was retracting it. “Never ever let anyone see this.”
He whimpered, feeling tears brimming at the corners of his eyes, unable to stop them from streaming down his cheeks in fright. As soon as his mother lets go of her bruising grip on his arm, he scurried back to his room and instantly curled into himself under his blanket, letting out all the sadness his little heart was incapable of bearing.
An abomination, he had come to realize after, was what his parents believed him to be at that point of time.
Twelve, is when every single child across the globe excitedly awaits the name of their soulmate to materialize on their skin. Twelve, is also the age when Taeyong learns of the cruelty of humans towards the unknown and unconventional.
“Have you guys heard?”
“Heard what?”
“Did you know someone in our school have five soulmates?”
Taeyong visibly shrank further into his seat, trying to make himself as small as possible. He tugged the ends of his long-sleeved shirt unconsciously under the table, praying that his classmates did not know they were talking about him. A discreet glance around the classroom however told him that they knew. He watched in dejection as his supposed friends whispered not-so-softly in their cliques – some were even staring blatantly in his direction.
“Five?! That’s insane.”
“Who is it?”
“How is that possible? You are only supposed to have one soulmate.”
“Are you sure he didn’t tattoo the other names himself?”
Loud snickers filled the classroom and Taeyong shifted his gaze to the open textbook in front of him with a blank look in his eyes.
“Wow, he must be desperate if he did that.”
“Is one soulmate not enough for him?”
“What a whore.”
Trying his best to remain unaffected by their malicious comments, he forced himself to tune them out and read the words on the book instead. Never before had he felt so thankful when his teacher entered the classroom, effectively shutting down the conversations around him for the time being.
Many believes the existence of soulmates to be a blessing, a handful considers it to be burdensome. However, the one thing society apparently agreed on is, soulmates are meant to be between two individuals. A trio stretches the boundaries, which they had grudgingly accepted the fact that some people are just lucky enough, but any more than three is regarded with contempt.
And Taeyong, is unfortunate to be on the receiving end.
*
Music is his only escape – his coping mechanism throughout the dark days. Taeyong immerse himself in the making, translating his pain and sorrows into masterpieces. He sneaks into underground bars whenever he could and pours his bleeding heart out on display for all to see. It is the only way for him to release all the pent up frustrations and sadness, to release the constantly building tension underneath his skin waiting to erupt; the only way to stay sane in the joke that is his life.
He spends hours dancing the night away, practicing and practicing as if his soul depends on it - doing everything he could just to forget, ignoring the fatigue and ache his protesting body screams at him every single day. Throughout his teenage years, Taeyong made few acquaintances, and made even fewer friends. They know nothing about his predicament, and they never will for as long as Taeyong has a say in the matter.
“Excited for your first day of university tomorrow?” Taeil asks while taking gulps of water to soothe his throat before falling onto his bed beside Taeyong. They have been practicing nonstop for Taeyong’s latest composition, fine-tuning the piece to as close as perfection before Taeyong is satisfied. Ever since they have known each other, Taeil has always been helping Taeyong sing his compositions, and even performed alongside Taeyong during his trips to the bars whenever he happened to be free.
“I don’t know,” Taeyong shrugs, making himself comfortable on the bed. He knows he will never be ready for a new chapter of his life - the feeling of being afraid of the judgement and the inevitable fallouts if his secret ever gets exposed again have always been lurking around the dark corners of his mind. “But I’ll miss you hyung. I’ll miss being able to spend time freely with you and Sicheng.”
“We aren’t going anywhere, we will always be here whenever you need us.”
“Thank you.” A small smile plays on Taeyong’s lips as he murmurs softly, eyes automatically falling shut. They lay side by side under a blanket of comfortable silence, waiting for Sicheng to return with takeouts.
After a moment, Taeyong starts speaking, hesitation seeping into his tone as he contemplates if he should vocalize his question. “Hyung?” He has always been curious, probably too curious for his own good, but he isn’t sure if he will ever be ready when it finally happens. Taeyong convinces himself that he needs to prepare for the inevitable, gathering up his courage to talk about the topic he has been avoiding ever since he was twelve.
Taeil hums, waiting for Taeyong to continue as he fiddles with his phone. He sends a text to Sicheng complaining why are you taking so long to buy food? Have you gotten lost? before sneaking a glance at Taeyong. When he notices how tense the younger is, Taeil immediately moves to get up, about to speak when Taeyong interrupts.
“How,” Taeyong clears his throat before trying again, “how did you know Sicheng is your soulmate?”
Taeil had realized pretty early on that soulmates is a sensitive topic for Taeyong. Through the years, he had silently observed the way Taeyong always shy away whenever soulmates were brought up in conversations, and the fact that Taeyong only wears long-sleeved clothes even during the scorching hot summer seasons.
“You just know it.” Taeil replies carefully, keeping his eyes on Taeyong. “As cheesy as it sounds, when our eyes met, I had a feeling he was the one I have been waiting for my whole life. And when I touched Sicheng for the very first time, it felt as if sparks flew between us and colour filled his name on my forearm.”
An uncomfortable pause fills the spaces between them and Taeil hesitates for a moment before adding, “Is there something you’d like to tell me?”
Taeyong wills himself to relax, knowing Taeil is looking at him the whole time. He keeps his gaze at the peeling white paint on the ceiling, praying that the conversation will not head towards the direction he knows it’s going to. Noticing that Taeil’s about to continue speaking, Taeyong feels himself unwittingly stiffening; he didn’t want Taeil and Sicheng to find out, didn’t want to be outcasted, didn’t want any of his closest friends to abandon him - just like every other student in his previous schools. With tightly shut eyes, he tries his best to control his trembles, knowing he’s overreacting and hating himself for being unable to control it, terrified of the outcome should they find out.
He registers being pulled into his hyung’s warm embrace, gentle hands wiping away the unexpected tears Taeyong didn’t know that’s streaming down his cheeks.
“It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Taeil’s soft voice washes over Taeyong. “But I want you to know that we will always be by your side no matter what. Whatever it is, I promise, neither Sicheng or I will judge or treat you any differently.”
“Th-anks, hyung.” That means a lot to me. He knows Taeil understands without needing him to voice out, grateful to have them in his life.
Keys jiggles in the lock and the apartment door flies open with Sicheng barreling in with bags of takeouts. He dumps everything onto the kitchen island before taking in the sight of Taeil comforting Taeyong across from him in their one room apartment.
“Taeil-hyung what did you do?” Sicheng yells, rushing over to wrap his arms around Taeyong.
“I didn’t do anything,” Taeil grumbles indignantly, taking a swipe at Sicheng.
“I left for half an hour and I came back to Taeyong-hyung crying. What happened?”
While they bicker, Taeyong finds himself calming down at the familiar scene, snuggling subtly between them. The comforting air lulls Taeyong drowsily, feeling emotionally drained after what had just happened. If only moments like this will last forever, is the last thought that flits across his mind before sleep took over, in the safety of the arms of his friends.
Taeyong is a hopeless romantic at heart, he is. But a part of him hopes that he will never meet those individuals bearing the names on his inner forearm, his soulmates who have unintentionally caused him so much agony.
He never stood a chance against fate.
Pulling his luggage into his new dorm, Taeyong is thrilled to finally be away from the people he had once believed to be his family, people he had dearly loved before they disregarded his feelings and shattered his heart to pieces - leaving him to pick up the broken fragments and fix it back into some semblance of order.
He settles on the vacant bed next to the window and busies himself with unpacking to calm his edgy nerves, trying to ignore the consistent twitching of his left eyelid. Uneasiness have been bugging him since he had woken up, and he simply chalks it to new environment jitters. The stillness in the enclosed room is stifling, and the sounds of plastics is deafening in the overly silent room. Taeyong quickly opens the lone window in front of him, letting the sounds of nature flow in.
Vaguely, he registers the door opening behind him, and he senses the presence of his roommate before he sees him. The hairs on his skin prickles due to the uncanny energy sizzling in the air around them and in that moment Taeyong knows this will be the turning point in his life. He hears the gasps the other lets out and Taeyong shivers, forcing his stiff body to turn and face his roommate.
Taeyong eyes falls onto the pretty boy with doe eyes still standing near the doorway, the feeling of completeness courses through him before fear creeps in from the edges, filling him entirely.
“Hi, I’m Dongyoung,” the pretty boy speaks after a beat, studying Taeyong with apprehension. He notices the rigidness in Taeyong’s body language, unsure if he should approach him.
Before Dongyoung could say anything else, Taeyong did the only thing he always did; He ran. Taeyong accidentally brushes pass Dongyoung when he speeds out of the room and another shiver runs down his spine at the contact, not noticing Dongyoung’s name lit up with colour on his covered forearm. He escapes with no destination in mind, letting his legs carry him as far away as he could go from his dorm.
(“I found him. I found one of ours,” the pleased curl of his lips and the elation in his eyes betrays his calm tone, his eyes not leaving the newly coloured Lee Taeyong on his forearm. As soon the situation sinks in for Dongyoung, he instantly fishes out his phone to inform the others, leaving his luggages behind by the door for the time being - those can wait.
Excited shrieks blasts through his speakers before an onslaught of rambling assaults his ear. “Who is he? What’s his name? Is he your roommate? We need more details, you can’t leave us hanging like this!”
“It’s a good thing you decided not to room with us, hyung.”
“Are you at your dorm? We are going over right now.”
“Hey slow down,” Dongyoung cuts in before they get carried away even further. “I think it will take us some time before he will be willing to open up to us.”
“Well, I managed to convince you, didn’t I,” came the smug response. “I’m very certain he will open up to us eventually.”
“And you know how persuasive we can be. I’m sure he won’t be able to resist us for long.”
Unable to hold back a snort, Dongyoung’s eyes automatically rolls upwards. “You mean with your healing smile and Jae’s pretty dimples? Yeah, you both will definitely need to try harder than that. I have a feeling he’s not going to be easy.” A small smile stretches across Dongyoung’s face as he adds, “but yeah, I’m glad you did. I’m glad you convinced me.”)
Orangey pink hues fills the skies when evening falls and Taeyong remains seated underneath the oak tree in the courtyard - he had been there ever since his encounter with his roommate-turned-soulmate. He glares at the offending red colouring Kim Dongyoung’s name on his right wrist. Taeyong had hoped he will be able to start his university life with a clean slate. Unfortunately for him, destiny had a plan and it includes ruining everything he had built to protect himself.
His stomach grumbles from the lack of food, having skipped lunch in favour of hiding from cruel fate and supposed soulmates. Taeyong exhales slowly, a heavy sigh escapes pass his lips as he contemplates his next course of action. The uncertainty of what the future entails unsettles Taeyong, unsure of how much his life will change with his soulmates coming into play. He could feel the beginnings of a throbbing headache building at the back of his skull the more he broods just as his stomach lets out another series of protest. Later, Taeyong decides. He’ll deal with it when the time comes, trying to put it off for as long as he’s able to.
Food is more important at the moment, everything else can wait.
By the time Taeyong makes his way back to his dorm, it is way past curfew. He sneaks his way into the building, bypassing the sleepy guards as quickly as he’s able to. Taeyong prays to every single deity out there that his roommate is asleep by the time he reaches back, wanting to avoid the unwanted conversation he knows will inevitably happen. A tiny part of him secretly longs to get to know his soulmate - he is curious about the person who is supposedly one of his other half, desperate to fill up the emptiness in his cold little heart - but Taeyong quickly squashes the thought as soon as it appears. After all, it’s a dangerous path with no turning back that he doesn’t want to take the risk, doesn’t want to hope and be let down.
Reaching his floor after climbing up three flights of stairs, Taeyong feels out of breath as he tries to open his dorm door quietly while keeping his breathing under control. When all that greets him is inky blackness, Taeyong feels relief spreading through him with the knowledge that he didn’t have to deal with his issues today. He stumbles into the dark, closing the door behind him and feels his way around. Taeyong manages to locate his suitcase, quickly gathering all the items he needs to prepare for bed.
Unbeknownst to Taeyong, a small smile stretches across Dongyoung’s lips when he hears the tell-tale sounds of Taeyong entering their room. He pretends to be asleep, not wanting to scare his roommate off. Dongyoung is aware that Taeyong needs time, noting the way he had reacted to him when they first met. Not wanting to overwhelm him, Dongyoung is willing to give Taeyong all the time he needs before he is ready, even though he is sure his two other idiots will probably do their best to bulldozer their way into Taeyong’s life. When they do, Dongyoung hopes their plan succeeds and he won’t have to pick up the pieces if it didn’t.