Archive of Our Own ^beta

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My name is Sineala, and I'm a blogger. I blog about nail polish. Every month, I buy a polish and review it.

The other day, I got a free one in the mail - it was strange. There was no return address, no manufacturer, and no ingredients. The only name was on a small slip of paper, and it said, "Only Once." I didn't think anything of it, and threw it in my purse.

A few days later, I went out for the day, and gasp! I chipped a nail - badly. It was a fashion emergency. I looked in my purse, and the only polish I could find was that "Only Once." Luckily I had some remover and some tissues, so I cleaned my nails and started fresh.

I started putting on the Only Once, and it was just a boring clear polish. I did a few fingers - oh well, when I got home I could put on something more interesting. I finished my right hand. I had just about finished my left hand, when I noticed that the polish was starting to change color. It was sort of a bluish green, similar to my favorite, OPI's Catch Me In Your Net.[1] Yes, it evoked the deep blue sea, but this one was different. Gold and silver flecks started appearing. Ooh, it's a flakie. Where did the flakies come from? They're prettier than Unicorn Pee.

Well, I had my polish of the month to write about anyway - but actually my polish of the year - oh no, it was the polish of my lifetime.

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I'm Sunny, and I blog about nail polish. My brainy husband came up with the name - it's a reference to rosy-fingered Dawn, the goddess of the daybreak. In Latin, she's Aurora, and in Greek, she's Eos. You might guess that we don't get many hits. Even so, I write a new review every month, and the month is almost over. I usually go out and buy one, but I got a free one in the mail, and it's called "Only Once." I'm not sure who manufactures it - there wasn't any return address on the box. But let's give it a try.

It looks like just clear polish though. Well, I'm pressed for time, so let's go with this one.

For starters, you can't beat the price. I'm not sure how you get on their mailing list, but I figure they'll have a big rollout once everyone hears about it. It's very smooth, and easy to brush on.

Oh wait, it's turning color - wow, I have never heard of a clear one turning color, and I've never heard of one changing color without a temperature change. I guess it's like that Kaboom! bathtub spray - the one that goes on purple and turns white? This one goes on clear and turns red! It's...vivid red. Wow, I've always liked OPI's Thrill of Brazil [1] and Sinful Colors' Go Go Girl [2], but this one has those two beaten. Let's see if I can get a picture of it with my smart phone. Click....click....click...Let me upload them to the computer. Oh dear, the pictures are just a blur....I haven't seen anything this blurry since that pool of blood outside the Superdome after Hurricane Katrina.

Without a picture, are my readers going to believe this? Hmm...I don't know what to do besides upload the picture and tell them about it. I feel like a character out of Brides of Dracula...I can't photograph my own rich red fingernails..

I can't wait for that rollout!

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My name is Tippi, and I write blog articles about nail polish. I do one every month. I went to the mailbox this morning and there's this interesting box - it's a promotional bottle of nail polish, but I'm not sure who made it or where it came from. It must be one of those homemade formulas. All it says is "Only Once." So let's try it.

It's just clear nail polish. It's hardly worth blogging about, but I don't have anything else. It's storming outside now, and I really don't want to go out and get anything else. Well, at least it's very smooth and goes on easily. Just as I finish my last pinky, the rain stops and I look out the window. There's a beautiful rainbow in the distance. I look down at my nails, and it's not clear polish at all - it's gold! I swear it must be 24 karat, maybe 25, if there were such a thing. If I were really desperate for money, I'd trim my nails, and sell the parings to a jeweler. But no, I've worked too hard to get them this long.

This polish shouldn't be called Only Once, but let's see...End of the Rainbow [1] and Pot O'Gold [2] are taken....maybe Cibola, after the legendary City of Gold.

[3]Then I tried it on my toes, and before I knew it, they looked like they had been inside an oyster for years -- actual cultured pearls, as beautiful as I've ever seen. The closest thing to them is You Go Pearl [4]. Wow, I wonder if it's possible to culture=pearl nails like these? It wouldn't be cheap and there'd be too much risk of spilling wine on them.

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I'm the Lacquer Lunatic, but you can call me Lucy. I'm just crazy about nail polish! I've got this website - a blog, they call it, and I write reviews of nail polishes. I buy them myself, but I'm a little short on money this month. Luckily, I just got this free one in the mail. It's called "Only Once." My review is due tonight, and I like to stargaze.

Oh no! This is just clear polish. Well, it does wipe out the ridges with just one coat. It seems to be drying fairly quickly...oh wait, it's changing color....green...Martian green! And it's....pearly too! What's in this, anyway? It doesn't say. Where did it come from? It doesn't say.

Wow, this polish is...out of this world. It's called Only Once, but I think it should be Pearl Bay, but if that name is already taken, Margaritifer Sinus. That's a feature on Mars.

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The bloggers posted within hours of each other. If it was a hoax, it was well orchestrated on a handful of rarely read blogs. Sunny kept thinking it was a publicity stunt, but didn't mind being a tool for such a beautiful polish. Lucy kept thinking it was from outer space. The bloggers all got the same package, but few could agree on what color or finish it was.

Then a few readers got the packages as well. Some tried posting to Makeup Alley. Their photos were just as blurred as Sunny's were. The moderators got suspicious. Some thought it was steganography.

"Steganography?" one of the moderators asked another in the moderators' forum. "It's hiding a message in the least significant bits. For instance, vivid red is (255,0,0). A good many people can't tell the difference between (255,0,0) and (254,0,0). It's like putting half an ounce of black paint into a gallon of red paint then mixing it thoroughly, or maybe one drop of black polish into a bottle of pure red. A 1000x1000, 3 band image is 3 million pixels. Collect all those least significant bits and there could be a message. Something this blurry might be using only 4 or 5 bits of color and 3 or 4 bits of message."

Others thought the posters were trying to overload the database or bore the other readers with pointless images. So the images were quickly deleted, and the posters were warned.

One poster found The Lacquer Lunatic, and posted, "Lucy! You're not crazy! At least not about Only Once! I got it too, and it is deep blue with glitter, but it's so much prettier than Starry Starry Night [1]. I haven't seen anything this magnificent since the solar eclipse of 2017 - I can't seem to get a picture of my nails either, but the eclipse was so much better in person than any picture I've seen. That's what it's like!"

Another posted to Tippi's Tippies, "Tippi, I got one too, except that mine turned silver. Like any nail polish, It does smell a little when you're putting it on, but it's like you're driving through the Chemical Coast in New Jersey - only not as bad, but then you get to see that beautiful New York City skyline afterwards, but it's a whole lot better!"

A few days later, Sineala chipped her polish, just like she had done when this episode began. She had her other purse this day, and the only polish she had in it was I'm Not Really A Waitress [2], so she wiped her nails clean and used that. It wasn't Only Once, but it was pretty enough. "So shimmery," she said to herself.

Bloggers and readers posted their blurry, dim, or out of focus pictures, and they tried their best to describe their nails, but to many, it still seemed like a hoax, right up there with Bigfoot [3], the Jersey Devil [4], and the Chupacabra [5]. Unfortunately for the bloggers, those names were already taken too. Sunny was still thinking it was a publicity stunt, and there would be a big rollout any day now.

Reports of the polish were so varied, that Sineala wondered if it would be the same the second time around. Maybe it was something magical, and was different every time? So she wiped her nails clean, and tried. It went on, clear as before, but this time, when it dried, it stayed clear. "Maybe it's stale?" she wondered. She had exchanged messages with someone who wanted to believe, and was willing to trade a bottle of Bad Fairy for it. She warned her reader that she thought the polish had gone stale, but the reader still wanted to make the trade.

A few days later, she had gotten her Bad Fairy [6], but then also a message in her inbox. "Sineala! This is the most beautiful polish ever! It would have been the top of my yearly top ten, if only it had a name."

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The others eventually chipped, but they too found that the polish stayed clear the second time around. Lucy again wondered if she was crazy. Comments appeared on the blogs.

"I don't think I've ever worn anything wilder than Bubble Bath [1], but I got this nondescript polish in the mail - it was called "Only Once.". I thought it was just clear polish, but then it turned into the most delicious candy apple red I've ever seen. It finally chipped, and I tried to reapply it but it was just clear polish. My husband actually gave me the money and told me to go to the salon and get something almost like it. When I came home, I web searched for Only Once, and found your blog. I traded the bottle to another woman in my knitting circle, and when she tried it, it was the most amazing iridescent purple. I told her that it worked only once, and then to pass it on."

"Hmm....it still sounds like a hoax to me."

"A thousand pardons, but it really does exist. I'm a teenager, and my parents have been entering me in beauty pageants since I could walk. I've never won, but I got this nail polish in the mail - it was Only Once. I thought it was just clear polish, but I put it on my nails and toes, and it turned to the loudest neon yellow [2] I had ever seen. I can't believe it, but I actually won this time. I was so excited that I broke a nail. After I trimmed and filed it to a decent shape, I tried to reapply but it was just clear polish. PM me and I'll send it to you."

"I tried it, and my nails turned 24 karat gold. For two whole weeks, I felt like Catwoman....purrfect! I've been a Batman fan for years."

The polishes changed hands again and again, in more ways than once, making their way across the country, across the world.

"Pass it on," the fandom whispered. And wear it only once.