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Some of Sooyoung’s favourite moments with Jungeun consist of nights spent together at one of their apartments, cuddled together on the couch. It’s easy to take those moments for granted, so Sooyoung likes to turn them into occasions whenever she can, usually comprised of preparing dinner for her girlfriend, playing cards or board games, or planning vacations together.
Usually, whatever activity they pick out gets left by the wayside a few hours into the evening, foregone in favour of spending time with each other in a different way. It’s inevitable that Sooyoung will have Jungeun panting underneath her by the end of the night, and with the roles reversed as well.
Sooyoung especially loves waking up in the morning afterwards, roused from her sleep by Jungeun jumping on the bed, excited to make the most of the day. Sooyoung gets her way most of the time, lazing about in bed for a while longer, enjoying Jungeun snuggling into her.
During those times, they often end up reminiscing about their favourite memories.
Every time, Jungeun cites their first date, where their first kiss happened. Entirely clichéd, she admits, but a sacred moment nonetheless. Sooyoung took her out to the local movie theatre, where they watched a cheap horror movie. Halfway through the movie, Sooyoung leant across the armrest in between them, and kissed Jungeun in the darkness. Jungeun never passes up an opportunity to tease Sooyoung about it, laughing about the timing of it, and how Sooyoung had originally planned to wait until the very end of the date to even dare to kiss Jungeun.
In addition to this, Jungeun’s always loved the memory of their first anniversary, where they drove to the coast together in order to spend the day on the beach. It resulted in them getting chased by a whole flock of birds, and Sooyoung dropped her ice cream cone on the boardwalk. Despite everything that went wrong that day, it’s cemented in their minds as a momentous occasion. The silver lining on that day was Sooyoung’s present to Jungeun, a gorgeous perfume, which she’d spent half of that month’s pay-check on.
There’s a whole plethora of memories that hold significance for Sooyoung. These include the times where she brings Jungeun up to the rooftop of her building at dusk, to observe the city skyline. In amongst the restless noise of traffic on the streets below, and the wind whistling around their ears, the two of them discovered a strange sort of peace there.
Over time, however, such moments as these slowly begin to slip away, losing the sentiment they once had. Three years into the relationship, and Sooyoung hasn’t tired of their established routine, but the same can’t necessarily be said of Jungeun. She’s been acting a little distant throughout the past few weeks, though she’s never turned down an invitation from Sooyoung to come round to her place. Junguen insists that her recent weariness stems from stressful projects at work, and nothing else. Sooyoung knows better than to challenge her on matters such as these, so she bites her tongue and does her best to be as supportive as she can.
One evening, they’re at Sooyoung’s apartment after an exhausting day at work, lounging on the couch, limbs tangled together. Both of them are too drowsy to put much effort into anything.
“Want to make dinner together tonight?” Sooyoung asks, cozying into Jungeun’s side.
“Sure, it’s been a while since we last did that,” Jungeun hums, placing a soft kiss on Sooyoung’s temple.
They sit for a while, watching reruns of talk shows, until both of them end up dozing off. Sooyoung slips into Jungeun’s lap in her sleep, curling into her out of habit. Her fingers grip the sleeve of her girlfriend’s sweater, pulling her closer.
An hour later, they wake up, jolted out of their slumber by a burst of sound from the stereo system, thanks to an action movie trailer playing during the ad break.
“That film looks terrible,” Sooyoung comments.
“Baby,” Jungeun murmurs, voice croaky from sleep. “I need to take a shower. Can you move?”
Sooyoung groans, and reluctantly lets Jungeun go, loosening her grasp on her sweater.
On the coffee table, Jungeun’s phone buzzes loudly, lighting up with a notification.
Knowing that Jungeun is expecting an important message from one of her clients, Sooyoung glances at the screen to check who it’s from, in case it needs answering urgently.
‘Have you told Sooyoung yet? You need to do it soon, you’re running out of time.’
It’s a text from Jungeun’s best friend, Jiwoo.
Sooyoung frowns at the message. She locks Jungeun’s phone, and sinks back into the couch, making herself comfortable once more. She makes a mental note to question Jungeun about the text later on, once they’ve cooked dinner.
It’s not uncommon for Jiwoo to pester Jungeun about certain secrets they share; Sooyoung’s well accustomed to it by now. However, there’s something ominous about this particular text, and it sets off a feeling of apprehension in Sooyoung. Rarely has she encountered such uneasiness when it comes to Jungeun. She trusts her girlfriend with her life, knowing that Jungeun’s always willing to communicate issues when they arise. Sooyoung just prays that there’s nothing to worry about this time, either.
A short while later, Jungeun emerges from the bathroom, clothed comfortably. She looks so adorable, and Sooyoung can’t resist peppering her face with kisses. Jungeun protests briefly, as she always does, but she relents eventually, and lets Sooyoung shower her with affection.
They cook a simple meal together, still tired from their unexpected nap. It’s nothing much to be proud of, but Sooyoung gives Jungeun a searing kiss to convey her gratitude. Momentarily, she forgets her agitation, and pushes all thoughts of the text aside, so she can focus on preparing dinner with her girlfriend.
Sitting down to eat, they make light conversation, mainly about their work schedules. Whereas Jungeun is wolfing down her food, Sooyoung hardly touches her plate. Her stomach feels tight.
“Your phone went off earlier, when you were in the shower,” Sooyoung says after a small period of silence, still picking at her food lazily.
“Oh, thanks!” Jungeun says. “It’s probably the client I spoke to on the phone this morning, I should get back to them.”
“It wasn’t from them,” Sooyoung says. “I saw the message when it came up. Jiwoo texted you.”
Jungeun frowns at her. “Was it anything urgent?”
Sooyoung shrugs. “I don't know, you tell me. Check your phone.”
Surprised at Sooyoung’s impatient tone, Jungeun scrapes back her chair and grabs her phone from the living room. She looks at her notifications, and her cheeks pale immediately.
Instantly, Sooyoung senses that something is wrong.
“What were you going to tell me?” she asks. Part of her is wishing that it’s a sweet surprise, but the other part is filled with trepidation.
Jungeun visibly hesitates. She chews at her lip as she goes over whatever thoughts are in her mind. Sooyoung’s always found that to be an unpleasant habit.
“Is it meant to be a surprise?” Sooyoung asks, her tone much softer now. “If you don’t want to tell me, that’s okay. It just seems like it’s something important.”
“It’s important, yeah,” Jungeun replies eventually. “It’s not - it’s not good, though. I’m really sorry, Sooyoung.”
Now alarm bells are going off in Sooyoung’s head. She racks her brains to try and think of what it could possibly be. Jungeun’s hardly ever been the bearer of bad news
None of that matters anymore when Jungeun opens her mouth to tell Sooyoung the truth.
“I’m in love with someone else.”
Sooyoung can barely believe her ears. She stares, astounded, at Jungeun, who looks thoroughly unaffected by the reaction.
“Who is it?” Sooyoung asks, finally finding her voice. It comes out raspy, scratching at her throat. Dread creeps its way into her stomach. She has some idea of who the culprit might be, but she hopes to high heaven that it isn’t them.
“Do you really want to know?” Jungeun dares to say.
It takes all of Sooyoung’s energy not to snap at her. “You’re seriously asking me that?” she scoffs. “It’s a little rich to assume that I’m not going to care, don’t you think?”
Jungeun shuffles her feet, casting her gaze onto the floor. “Sorry,” she mutters. At least she has the decency to look sheepish.
“So?” Sooyoung presses. “Tell me who it is.”
“It’s Jiwoo.”
Sooyoung’s instincts were right. She draws in a sharp breath, stands up from the table so that she can be level with Jungeun. “What was it about me, huh? What did I do to make you go running to her?”
“It’s not your fault,” Jungeun says. “I don’t want you to feel like you did anything wrong. You always deserved someone good, who treats you well. I thought I was doing a good job with that, but then...I don’t know. It just happened, you know? I didn’t ask for it, I swear. You have to understand, please.”
Sooyoung laughs scathingly. “You’re standing there, talking as if you haven’t done anything wrong. I wasn’t the one who fell in love with their best friend while still in a relationship. That’s all on you .” She feels tears building up.
“I know I messed things up,” Jungeun says. “It’s too late now. I can’t tell you that I can fix it just like that, I don’t want to lie to you.”
“You’re ridiculous,” Sooyoung says, hands falling limply at her sides. She swallows harshly, rubs a hand at her eyes, embarrassed. “Why the fuck am I crying? God, I’m pathetic.”
“No, you’re not!” Jungeun scrambles to say. “It’s a natural reaction. Don’t blame yourself.”
Sooyoung rolls her eyes. “Look at you, always so rational. You know, this shouldn’t really be surprising. Whenever you’re with Jiwoo, you look so happy. You act differently around me.”
Jungeun shakes her head, furrows her brows, looks sorrowful. The situation is almost comical at this point, Sooyoung thinks. She wonders why Jungeun’s the one looking like a kicked puppy when she’s the one who’s betrayed Sooyoung.
“You should go,” Sooyoung says, voice rough. She blinks away tears that are threatening to spill down her cheeks. She hates the sensation of hot tears, and the mess they leave behind. She refuses to let Jungeun see her in that state.
“We should talk about this,” Jungeun protests, but she’s already reaching for her jacket. In her haste, she knocks it off of the back of the chair it hung on.
Automatically, Sooyoung bends down to retrieve it. Her fingers brush against Jungeun’s as she straightens up and hands the jacket over. An unpleasant shiver runs up her spine.
“I’ll miss you,” Jungeun says. It’s the first time throughout this whole ordeal that she’s sounded this sincere.
“Yeah,” Sooyoung says. Now her voice betrays her, cracking in the midst of her reply. She coughs suddenly, averting her eyes.
Jungeun takes ahold of Sooyoung’s wrist. “Maybe we’ll see each other again soon,” she says softly. “Take care, Sooyoung.”
Before Jungeun can take a step back, Sooyoung finds herself wrapping an arm around her waist, pulling her into a tight embrace.
“Sorry,” Sooyoung mumbles. She wipes her sleeve across her eyes clumsily, cheeks growing hotter by the second. “I didn’t mean to-“
“It’s okay,” Jungeun interjects. She sounds remorseful, almost. “I understand.”
Without warning, Sooyoung falls to her knees, sobs wracking her entire body.
“Sssh, it’s okay,” Jungeun soothes, threading her fingers through Sooyoung’s hair. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” She keeps on repeating those words as she holds Sooyoung gently, pressed against the delicate fabric of her sweater.
When Sooyoung’s trembling stills and her tears begin to fall slower, Jungeun presses a tender kiss to her hair, and quietly slips out of the apartment.
All that remains of Jungeun when she leaves is the lingering scent of her perfume, the same kind that Sooyoung gifted her on their first anniversary.