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Screaming. Screaming. Screaming. Jaromir is about to start screaming himself if something doesn't give soon.
More screaming.
“What, what, what?” Jaromir murmurs into the ear of his screeching son. The baby’s only answer is intensifying screams. Jaromir whines to himself and bounces the baby a little bit as he paces the hall of his condo.
He rearranges the baby in his arms holding him so that his head is cradled in his hands and his body resting on his forearms. The baby’s feet kick against his chest gently as he screams and thrashes. Jaromir’s head is pounding and his eyes are dry and itchy from lack of sleep.
“Marek, please. I don’t know what you want.” He pleads. His son is named after the god of war, and Jaromir can never quite get over the irony. It seems like every night for the past six weeks has been a war.
Jagr doesn't know what to do to get him to stop crying. Every single night, from 10pm until almost 3am, just screaming. He’s so close to throwing in the towel and calling Mario and Nathalie for back up.
When Jagr first called Mario and Nathalie, bubbling happily into the phone about his new little one, Mario had laughed so hard that Jaromir had hung up on him. When Nathalie finally called him back a few minutes later she apologised and spoke politely to him. Mario came back on a moment later and asked him what made him think he was “dad material.”
Fuck them, Jaromir is so dad material. He’s 42 years old, he has watched countless babies being raised and growing into great adults. He’s no novice 20 year old with shaking hands who holds a newborn like a sack of potatoes.
But damned if he knows how to get his own child to stop screaming at the top of his lungs. Marek takes a shuddery breath, pausing his screeches for a second, then takes a deep inhale and starts again.
At least he has healthy lungs. Jagr gingerly lays Marek down in his bassinet in the living room and limps down the hall to the nursery. His knee has been giving him trouble again. Thank god it is summer and he can rest it. Not that he has had much opportunity to rest with having a new baby.
He grabs the custom stitched NJ Devils blanket, embroidered with JAGR 68 in the middle and a fresh diaper. He doubts Marek needs changed, but it’s worth a shot if it will quiet him.
Marek is still whimpering and fussing when he gets back. His lower lip is quivering and his arms are shaking, his fists balled up at his cheeks. He has a full head of dark hair and looking into his eyes feels a bit like looking into a mirror. Marek’s eyes scan around, trying to locate his father even as he stands looming over the bassinet. The doctors say that it’s normal for a newborn’s vision to be underdeveloped. Jagr worries anyway.
“I’m right here, I’m here.” Jaromir says, reaching out to rub the baby’s little rounded stomach. Marek’s screaming from earlier had decreased to little whimpers, but the moment he hears Jaromirs voice he starts up a bellow that would put a marching band to shame.
Jagr cringes and unsnaps his little onesie. He quickly changes his diaper and tosses the old one into the trash a few feet away. He spreads out the blanket on the couch and slides his hands under Marek’s head and his bottom and lifts him out of the bassinet. The infant screams as loud as he can and thrashes against Jagr’s touch.
The screams lessen once Jagr sets him down on the blanket and wraps it securely around him. They stop almost completely when he lays him back into his bassinet, swaddled tightly. He whines a bit, but his eyes close and he starts to drift off.
Jagr lets out the breath he had been holding and flops onto the couch next to the bassinet. He throws his sore leg over the back of the couch and groans. He’s played hockey for his entire life, been bone tired more times than he can count. He doesn't think he’s ever been this exhausted.
Mario and Nathalie show up when Marek is 10 weeks old. Mario grins smugly at Jagr’s tired face and fistbumps him in the doorway. Nathalie kisses his scruffy cheek and pats him on the shoulder as she brushes by him to go towards the screaming baby in the livingroom.
Jagr has Marek on the floor, surrounded by toys on a specially designed playmat that boasts ‘Babies love it!’
Marek hates it. Nathalie lifts him up off the floor in a practiced move and cuddles him close as he screams and writhes.
“That’s a set of pipes, eh?” Mario nudges Jaromir’s side good naturedly. Jaromir snorts.
“Babysitter quit. Neighbors complain. My ears ring even when he quiet.” Jagr says emphatically. Mario lets out a low whistle and shakes his head.
Nathalie gives Jagr a look. “Where’s the off switch?” She asks with a knowing grin. Jagr shrugs but lets her push the baby into his arms.
“Your guess as good as mine!” He replies as Marek screams in his ear. Mario heads for the front door, and disappears.
Jagr pats Marek’s back for a moment, but gives up and lays him in his bassinet. He drapes a blanket over Marek’s lower body and pushes a pacifier into his mouth. The pacifier shoots out after a moment, and the screaming resumes.
When Mario returns he sets two suitcases on the floor and makes his way over to the bassinet. He shoulders Jagr out of the way and lifts the baby out.
Marek screeches and wails for a moment, quieting suddenly as Mario wraps his arms around him and rocks him side to side slowly. Mario grins and hums a tune to the infant. Jaromir’s jaw drops open.
“How did you do that?” He demands. Nathalie giggles and pulls out her phone to take pictures. Mario chuckles and rubs the baby’s back. His chest is laying on Mario’s forearm and his side is tucked into Mario’s stomach.
“Magic touch. I never understood it.” Nathalie beams and sits down on the couch. She runs her fingers through her long hair and stares at Mario.
“Brings back the memories, doesn't it, Nat?” At Mario’s words, Marek whines. Jaromir holds his breath nervously, expecting the wailing to start again. Mario strokes his hand down the baby’s back and rocks him side to side some more.
Within moments, Marek is sleeping peacefully and drooling on Mario’s arm. Jagr throws his hands up and shakes his head. He’s had the baby for ten weeks and he’s never gotten that kind of reaction from him.
When Marek wakes up, he is relaxed and smiley. He goes to Nathalie allows her to hold him easily. Jaromir can’t figure it out.
“He hate me.” Jagr sighs dejectedly. He wraps his arms around a couch pillow and shoots a disgruntled look at Mario when he laughs.
“He doesn’t hate you, I’m just that amazing.” He says in a conceited tone. Nathalie is holding a giggly Marek. She’s tickling his little feet, making him jerk them away and smile at the sensation. Jaromir observes their easy interaction with his baby and feels utterly lost.
“You right. Am not Dad material. Never know what he want.” He mutters it under his breath and can’t look up to meet their eyes when they both look at him.
Mario sighs and pushes himself off the couch. He grabs Jagr’s wrist and pulls him up. Jagr groans and whines. He was just getting comfortable.
“C’mon. We need to have a dad to dad talk.” Mario insists, prodding Jaromir towards the back deck of his condo. Out on the deck he gives Jagr a pointed look and gestures to one of the chairs. Jagr drops into one and sighs deeply. Mario sits in the one next to him.
“No one told you how hard this would be, did they.” Mario gives him a knowing smile. Jagr shakes his head and scrubs and hand over his face.
“Nobody told you how much he would cry, how much sleep you would lose, how much you would worry. Or how much you would wonder if you are fucking it up.” Mario is no longer smiling, but he is giving Jagr an intense look. Jagr swallows hard and looks at his hands in his lap.
“You never knew how tired, frustrated, afraid you would be. No one ever talks about how isolating it is.” Mario knocks his knee into Jaromir’s and pats his shoulder. Marek wails in the house and Jaromir turns in his chair to look back at the door, as if he could see through it if he tried hard enough.
“But, you still want to go back in there and make it better. Don’t you?”
Jagr nods. He does want to go back in there. He’s exhausted, and his stomach is turning threateningly, but he wants nothing more than to go back in there and hold Marek.
“That’s how I know you are doing this right, that’s how I know you can keep doing it right. Jags, there is no such thing as a perfect cut of ‘dad material.’ Everyone has to learn. Parenting isn’t something that you just know right away.” Mario pauses.
“Hell, I’ve raised four of them and they still scare me. I never feel like I have a clue what I’m doing. I don’t have all the answers. But Nat and I have done this a couple times, and we’ll be here for you. Whenever you need us.” Mario grins and smacks Jagr on the back.
“Now, go in there and get him.” Mario puts his sunglasses on and relaxes into the chair.
Jaromir nods and wipes his sweaty palms on his shorts and heads inside. Nathalie is talking softly to Marek, who is crying pitifully. She is pacing the floor with his head against her shoulder and patting his back soothingly.
When Marek sees Jaromir, he screeches and a grin spreads across his face. Jagr’s heart flutters and he extends his hands to take him when Nathalie hands him over. Marek holds onto Jaromir’s shirt tightly and smiles at him. Jagr melts a little and kisses his forehead.
“See? He wanted you.” Nathalie smiles at him and pats his shoulder on her way out to join Mario.
Marek does start crying again a moment later. This time Jaromir recognises the high pitched cry as one demanding to be fed. He gets a bottle ready and makes faces at his son as he drinks his formula and grins up at him. He feels immensely better. Still afraid, but less hopeless.