Work Text:
I don't think that you even realize
The joy you make me feel when I'm inside
Your universe
You hold me like I'm the one who's precious
I hate to break it to you but it's just
The other way around
You can thank your stars all you want but
I'll always be the lucky one
- Your Universe, Rico Blanco
It has always been like this, Jane mused, Puimek telling everyone how they met and how they quickly fell in love. Puimek always emphasized that Jane’s presence made her life better; like the world is finally bathed in color or that the sun had finally started rising without ever setting. Puimek likes telling everyone that Jane is her soulmate – a twin flame – and how they’re really just one soul in two different bodies. Puimek likes telling everyone the clichés that Jane often shakes her head and laugh it off. Because really Puimek is wrong for ever thinking that she’s the luckiest girl when Jane knows she’s the lucky one.
Point 1: Puimek knows how to put a smile on her face when the world just wants to give her a hard time.
“I’m never gonna get that role. They told me my acting is too unnatural. The director literally told me I need to take acting classes as if I had never taken one since I was five,” Jane shouts in their apartment. She’s too frustrated with everything that’s happening with her career. It’s her third audition this week and it looks like none of the roles she auditioned for will ever give her a callback.
“Relax, okay? You’re going to get that call soon. I’ve seen you act and you’re a natural. You’re born for this. You’re going to be an actress and get an Oscar or an Academy or a Grammy for your role,” Puimek gives her an encouraging smile and crosses the distance between them to give her a hug.
Puimek’s hugs are the best. She runs circles around Jane’s back and gives it small pats every now and then. Not to mention that her hugs are always warm. It’s always feels like drinking her favorite chocolate milk her mother gives her every breakfast, or the tree house on her parent’s backyard where she spends her weekends lazing around reading a book. It’s comforting. Puimek’s hug is the best things in Jane’s life rolled into one.
Jane tilts her head a little and kisses Puimek’s neck, “Grammy doesn’t give trophies for actresses. It’s an awards show for singers.”
“You never know. I’ve heard you sing in the shower and you hit those notes pretty well” Puimek teases, hugging Jane tightly and slowly.
Jane melts and smiles into the hug.
Point 2: Puimek is always there ready to say the words Jane needs to hear when Jane’s tired or afraid.
“What if I just quit my dream of being an actress and go back to school and get a degree?” Jane asks when they’re having breakfast; her shoulders slumped and head low while munching on her toast.
Puimek takes a deep breath and looks at Jane. “You could but is it really what you want?”
“I don’t know. It’s just that I’ve been trying hard with all these auditions but I still can’t get past the first round.” Jane replies, voice resigned.
“If that’s what you decided to do then I’ll support you,” Puimek takes a spoonful of her cereal. “But I still think that you shouldn’t give up on your dream. You wanted to be an actress since you were young. It’s your life-long dream to become the main lead of a box-office movie and accept awards.”
Puimek moves her chair closer to Jane and lightly touches Jane’s cheek. “I believe someday you’ll be able to achieve everything you dreamed of. I believe in you. I’ll always believe in you.”
Jane can’t help herself but force down the tears that are threatening to fall. It’s been hard for her. All the rejections from all the auditions she attended and the people around her telling her to just give it up. The negative words of the people had gotten into her and made her think that her dream isn’t going to become a reality. But Puimek’s words gave her the encouragement she needs.
Puimek’s words are enough.
Jane crossed the distance between them and gave Puimek a light kiss on the forehead, while silently saying thank you.
Point 3: Puimek is always there ready to hold her whenever Jane feels like everything is just too much.
“The doctor said she has cancer,” Jane cries into Puimek’s shoulder. Jane’s mom had been not been feeling well the past couple of months and had been complaining about severe headache and nausea. Jane kept on telling her to go to the doctor bur her mom kept on delaying the visit. Jane had enough and accompanied her to the doctor, they did a lot of tests and they all resulted to her mom having brain cancer. Stage one. The news broke her heart.
Puimek rubs circles into her back and keeps on humming to calm her down. But everything is just too much. She isn’t ready to lose her mom. Not like this. Never like this. She still has a lot of plans for her parents. She wants them to see her succeed as a person and give them the best things in life. She hasn’t done anything praiseworthy yet. She’s still an extra in the shows that she’s part of, she’s not even sure if she’ll have a breakthrough in the industry, and her mom is about to leave her.
Puimek still hasn’t said a word. Puimek just continues to hug her while Jane bawls her eyes out. Puimek’s silence is comforting, despite not saying anything she knows Puimek is as worried as her. They just sat there for a very long time, in their worn-out sofa, holding on to each other. And in the silence, save for her crying, Jane knows she’s not alone.
Point 4: Puimek always, always makes her heart skip a beat with whatever she does.
“And the winner for the best actress is,” the announcer paused for effect making Jane anxious. She’s been nominated as a best actress after the success of her first movie, The Gifted, where she played a woman who can see the emotions of the people around her. The role wasn’t easy to play and there were a couple of times Jane thought of giving up, but the dream of making her parents proud of her especially her mom who’s recovering from her sickness kept her to move forward.
The first week sales was a mild one, people weren’t sold with watching a movie full of unknown people, but those that watched the film and liked it quickly recommended it, and through word-of-mouth they were able to gather tons of moviegoers. The movie was able to gather 10 million people and is now the third highest grossing film in Thailand. It catapulted Jane and her fellow actors’ careers. She’s now an endorser of several brands and is set to film two series and a movie for next year.
She badly wants this best actress award. Jane knows that if she gets it her place in the industry will be cemented.
“Mook Worranit,” the announcer finishes.
Jane claps her hand.
Maybe it isn’t her time yet.
It’s okay, it’s only just the beginning anyways.
------------
Jane rummages through her clutch bag to find her apartment keys. It’s been a tiring night and all she wants is sleep and cuddle Puimek until morning comes. She finds the key and inserts it into the key hole. She hears a click and opens the door.
And that’s when she finds Puimek waiting for her on their dining table with a small cake on her left hand and a bouquet of flowers on the other. All tiredness left her after seeing Puimek trying to balance both items.
“What are you doing?” She asks, perplexed with the situation.
Puimek gives her a warm smile. The one that makes her heart skip a million times per minute. “Congratulations.”
“I didn’t win, silly.” Jane walks towards her and gets the flowers from Puimek’s hand. She smells them and smiles. Puimek puts the cake on the table.
Puimek gives her a kiss on the cheek, “You’ll always be the winner for me.”
Jane suddenly can’t breath. It’s been years but Puimek still has the same effect on her. Her words and actions still make Jane weak in the knees.
So Jane does what makes Puimek as weak as her. Jane snaked her arms around Puimek’s and gave her girlfriend a kiss.
So, yes, Puimek might think she’s lucky to have Jane, but Jane knows she’s the luckier one.