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It was late, it was always late when you decided to ask your boyfriends the same question every 2 months or so.
“Can we?”
It was always your job to get the joints, to ask your friends who asked their friends and roll it up for you and get high with you, even though you were never allowed to get high outside of what you and your boyfriends did. But Yoongi never finds out about it, or never says anything at least.
It was his rule, that they could only smoke every 2 months in the safety of their own home. He wasn’t necessarily against it but you understood his thought process, they were idols and them doing it even once every two months was risky. That and the fact that smoking was bad for you and also the fact that both you and him had mental health issues that could worsen with being under the influence of things like weed or hash, for that matter.
Often times what the three of you used was hash, especially in 2014 and 2015 when all of you were too broke for weed, weed was expensive. Hoseok was the one who normally paid for it now, since he owned watches worth 70k. It was ridiculous and they were ridiculous for buying expensive shit for you but it was always soft things, like sweaters and matching necklaces that none of you ever took off.
Hoseok was the one to check the time, eyes heavy lidded as he smiled in an emotionally exhausted way. Going on tour took a toll on both of them and it was no surprise when Yoongi and Hoseok came home and attached themselves to you for dear life.
Yoongi never said it but he was clingy as fuck and loved the attention. The only time it showed was when they were high or he was too tired to care.
You were currently on his lap, face buried into his neck with his hand through your hair as you purred quietly.
“Yeah okay, it’s been a little more than 2 months too and my shoulders hurt from the tension. I might break.”
Hoseok earned a glare from the eldest. You were obviously the youngest of the three, only by a year off of Hoseok though.
“Use it for recreational purposes, not as a coping mechanism Hob-ah.”
That’s what the man said but both of his partners knew that if he were to do it right now, it was to help him loosen up after the pressure of being the perfect person constantly in the view of cameras and thousands of people.
You didn’t say much, pointing at the pastel coloured bag that was bought from Paris by the ever loving Hoseok. It was most likely a thousand dollars, maybe even more but you didn’t think about it now. Yoongi had gotten you speakers and a digital camera since you had gotten into photography again and your old camera was practically dead.
Hoseok was the one to lean forward and grab it, letting you rummage through it before taking out a small box that had both your lighter and joints in them.
You had three in total. But one was always shared at a time which was something you rather liked.
“This whole place is gonna smell gross for a few days.” Hoseok said with a wrinkled nose. The place was indeed their apartment that they were planning on staying in for the next few days to hang out and exist besides one another.
“It’s better than doing outside and getting photographed and our careers ruined.” Yoongi said in a matter of fact tone and it all but made you feel guilty. You got them into this position and he was right, it was a risk. They were risking their whole careers on it.
But then again, both men were adults and had a right to their bodies and what they do with their time. They knew the consequences and took precautions and had rules. They weren’t stupid and if either of them wanted to stop they would, they were old enough to know when to say no.
“Can we just do it, please.” Hoseok groaned, “ high Yoongi is so much more chill.”
Yoongi smacked his leg at that.
“Ooh, I’ll get the new speakers you got me.” You said before kissing him on the cheek as a thank you and running to get the item from your bedroom.
“Music is important for the ambiance.” You spoke while coming back, shaking the speaker in your hand.
Hoseok and Yoongi rolled their eyes, having heard that a dozen times.
They agreed though.
You connected it to your phone and decided on your Troye Sivan playlist.
The first song being Youth.
It played soothingly as you sat back on Yoongi’s lap and held the lighter near the joint.
“Don’t light it while you’re on my lap. Don’t want ashes on me.” The man grimaced but smiled at your pout, letting you kiss his soft marshmallow lips before you got off of him and sat between the two rappers.
You lit it and took the first drag, the bitter taste overwhelming you as you waited for the smoke to cool down before inhaling it into your lungs.Your throat burned.
Releasing a puff of smoke, you handed the joint to Hoseok and let him take a long drag, a hand on your thigh that moved up and down. Up and down. Up and down.
Ease was playing in the background.
Hoseok had you on his lap, eyes starry and mouth on you neck as he marked it over and over again. You would let out soft moans, head hazy but clear and slow. It was always running, your mind. It was always thinking and making shit up and just doing and doing and doing. It finally wasn’t. It was finally silent and compliant and you giggled at the relief you had from the world.
Hoseok giggled against your neck as well, heart shaped smile pressed against your skin.
The bubble around the three of you was in smoke, you staring at your boyfriends with a look of awe as the dimly lit room made them look dark and otherworldly, with their expression relaxed and sensual.
Sensual.
What a funny word.
“Baby.” Yoongi mumbled from besides you, his eyes droopy and dark.
You turned your head to find him move in close to you before kissing you. His marshmallow lips against your own. His big hands holding yours. And you swore to god, they never felt bigger. They engulfed you and made you feel small. And you were small, compared to the both of them. You were their baby, their little angel. You were theirs as they were yours and all three of you ate that up and kept it warm in your chest.
Seventeen started to play.
Hoseok took the lighter and relit the joint, now the second one, before inhaling it and sighing in relief as he looked at the ceiling. His neck was exposed then and you couldn’t help but have the urge to bite and suck on it so that’s what you did,
He chuckled and patted your head as you did, not looking away from the ceiling.
Soon, Hobi’s vision was impaired by cat like eyes and all he could think about was how Yoongi would be a panther if anything. And if he was a deer, Hoseok would gladly let Yoongi eat him.
As the older moved closer, Hoseok moaned softly as you sucked on a particularly sensitive place on his neck.
All Yoongi could see was a dazed look and an open mouth that looked pretty and warm. He leaned in and gave it a soft kiss, before deepening it and tasting the smoke on his tongue and feeling lightheaded and good. He felt so so good. Good and ever present and needy for more.
They stayed like that, Hoseok letting his tongue come into Yoongi’s mouth, sucking on his boyfriend’s lower lip and giggling softly at the way you gave his neck kitten licks.
Yoongi lost his balance at one point, not having the sense of mind to keep himself straight, but he simply slid back into his place and rested his cheek on Hobi’s shoulder while looking at you devour his neck.
Yoongi laughed at that, an airy sound that made both yours and Hoseok’s heart stutter.
“Yoongi-yah~” You whined, wiggling in Hoseok’s lap causing the man to give a tiny and not so hard spank on your butt.
“Yes, love?” Yoongi answered while soothing the place where Hobi very lightly slapped.
“I wan’- wanna kiss.” Your lisp showed loud and clear and both your boyfriends melted at it.
Bite began to play.
Yoongi did as you asked, moving forward wobbly as he gazed at you with nothing but open affection. And it hit differently then for some reason, maybe because you were high or because you only really noticed that stare in special moments. Hoseok said that Yoongi would always look at you like that. They both would.
The gaze made you even more needy so you whimpered and whined.
“Kissies.” You said while making grabby hands at him.
The kiss was wet and tasted like hash and it felt good and warm and fuzzy.
You let out tiny sounds, small and cute and it only increased when Hoseok began playing with your chest, hand under your shirt as his thumb ran over your nipple.
“Baby angel.” Yoongi mumbled against your lips.
“You-yours.” You whispered, arching your back against Hoseok’s hand. Big. Big. Both of them were so Big and you were so tiny and it made you wanna burrow yourself between them.
Your hips began to move, rubbing against Hoseok’s thigh. It sparked waves of pleasure into your body, blinding you through the fogginess in your head.
“Want us, huh?” Hoseok asked, jaw sticking out as his eyes darkened, “want both of us? Want us to ruin you, hm?”
You nodded,
Hoseok stayed still, chuckling lowly and not responding.
Fucking tease.
He lit the joint again, holding it between his middle and index finger before holding it in front of Yoongi’s lips. The man took a drag from it and you pawed at his chest, eyes wide and glassy as you asked in a small voice.
“Want.”
Yoongi took a hold of your chin, opened your mouth with his thumb and kissed you deep, pushing the smoke into your mouth and into your lungs. A puff of grey air exited from your nose, shrouding the man’s face with it. You had kept your eyes slightly open just to see it happen.
It’s then that you felt arms enclosed around you and felt Yoongi press closer against you.
Hoseok was hugging both of you at the same time, face pressed against Yoongi’s shoulder before he started to mumble out a river of words. It was slow, his words were slow and drawn out. It was either him or you because everything around you was slow and relaxed and easy.
“I love you guys, I love you guys so so much. You make me so happy. Like a lot. I don’t know what my life would be without either of you. What the fuck are these emotions, I love you. I hope we always stay together and get married. Somehow. I dunno. Everything is so heteronormative.”
Hoseok was not really one for words. He would hug and give a lot of kisses, he was affectionate in that tone but words were something he stayed away from unless he was saying I love you and even those I love yous were precious and well articulated and full of emphasis. They weren’t thrown around lightly.
It seemed that the ache of the tour and the people and the constant hustle finally got to him. He finally cracked.
You guys sat like that for quite some time, pressed up against each other until Hoseok got hungry. You stumbled off his lap and nearly fell on Yoongi as the man got up and went to the kitchen.
“Do we have shrimp chips? I want that. Ooooh, we have fried chicken too. Who brought fried chicken? Oh yeah, I did. Okay so...okay.”
Yoongi lit the butt of the joint again, inhaling it before holding it out and letting you have some. You held onto his wrist while you did so, feeling like a baby being fed their milk.
Hoseok staggered back to the couch, using his leg to put distance between his partners’ legs so they could move and he could sit in the middle.
“Here we are~”
He placed the food on the table clumsily, snatching the bag of chips and munching on its contents. You moved forward and took the chicken, Yoongi followed.
It was quiet for a while, the only sound being the three people on the couch eating fried chicken and shrimp chips in the middle of an expensive apartment while high and sleepy and the music playing from the speakers.
Yoongi only ate a few chicken pieces before he promptly fell to the side with his hands between his legs. You giggled, there was a lot of that throughout.
Dance to this began playing and both Hosoek and you wiggled in your seats and got up in excitement. Yoongi groaned in dismay but looked at the two of you with fond eyes as you began dancing goofily. You weren’t a dancer, not at all and compared to Hoseok, it looked like you could barely walk but it didn’t matter. Hobi was just as goofy, pop and locking with no sense of rhythm whatsoever.
Hoseok then took your hand and started spinning both of you around, you shrieking in joy and surprise before running around in circles with him. You two bumped hips, causing you to almost fall on the floor. You two tried to pick each other up. Hobi succeeded but you failed miserably. He spun you around like that, while carrying you and laughing. You two smiled and giggled and shouted. You two sloppily sang along to the words with no coordination. You two. You two. You two. While the third looked fondly over you, his cheeks pressed against the couch cushion, eyes almost closed.
DKLA had begun to play but you had skipped to your phone after being pulled from having Hoseok sweep you off your feet. You rummaged through the playlist before grinning and playing a certain song.
Just Dance.
Hosoek had practically yelled and began singing it in a trot voice instantly. You joined him, moving your hands around and moving from one leg to the other.
When a certain verse came, Hoseok looked directly at you and began singing in a deep voice, changing the lyrics.
“You’re my perfect baby.
My whole world, baby.
A small little baby
Don’t know what else to say, baby.”
By this point you were on the floor, cackling and hitting your thigh hard from your uncontrolled laughter.
Seesaw was the next song and both of you squealed.
Hoseok began singing it loudly, causing Yoongi to cover his ears but he still looked, smiling and smiling and never stopping his gums from showing.
You did the choreo and it was almost perfect considering how many times you’ve seen him do it.
Hoseok began doing the dance as well, much better than you but still as ridiculous.
The song was shrieked and both of you began spinning around, not bothering to urge Yoongi to get up because that never worked out before anyways.
You practically smacked Hobi in the face at one point but that didn’t stop you from seesawing. While seesawing, Hoseok accidently bumped into you and you went flying to the floor.
“Oh fuck, sorry baby.” Hobi said but he was laughing, heart shaped smile out in full force.
You began laughing, loud and bold and free.
You only paused when giggling was heard.
But it wasn’t coming from you or Hoseok or from outside, which would be creepy cause you lived high up, it was coming from a singular Min Yoongi (another Min Yoongi being there would be concerning. If you, the reader, sees two Min Yoongis or even one Min Yoongi then please be concerned because Min Yoongi cannot be with you in the first place).
Both of you stared at him, watching his eyes stay screwed shut as his nose wrinkled and his gums showed. Soft tinkling laughter could be heard coming from his mouth and it was certain that he was giggling.
He was smiling the whole time they were fucking around really, a big grin that was unrestrained and honest and so real. It was bright and shining and anyone would fall in love with it. WIth him.
They fell in love with him every time he smiled. And he smiled a lot because of them.
What a great day to be alive.
Hoseok was the one to launch himself onto the poor unsuspecting man. You got up from the floor and proceeded to do the same. The two of you covered his face in kisses, giggling along with him as he kicked his feet and became even louder. The two of you showered the third in kisses, finally feeling at peace. Feeling like a whole.
You were practically on top of him, squishing him and all Yoongi did was laugh and try to kiss you two back but you guys were too quick and sneaky. It was rather sloppy though, some kisses landing on his eyebrow or the corner of his nose or his hairline. But it was okay since every part of his face deserved love.
You stopped when Hobi’s nose bumped against yours.
You two sat up holding your nose in pain, Yoongi letting out peels of unforgettable laughter that had him holding his stomach.
Hoseok and you looked at each other before resuming your attack on him.
It was five minutes later that all three of you calmed down, still in a haze and very exhausted at this point.
“Bed.” Yoongi mumbled, being the most exhausted, having taken out his energy in giggling in glee and how much their kisses tickled.
You were the one to crawl up and start walking with weak knees. When you saw that neither of your boyfriends were standing, you pulled at both of their arms and almost fell back because of it. To prevent any accidents, Hoseok stood up, rubbing his eyes and yawning while pulling Yoongi along with him. The oldest was practically asleep at this point but he didn’t forget to take the lighter and the last joint to their room as they trudged towards it.
You could all sleep and have wonderful, ash filled dreams but your favourite part of these types of nights were the lazy talks that happened while taking slow drags from the last joint of the 2 months. They were your favourite because of the conversations that followed lying in a bed and smoking away the remnants of your stresses.
It had been a while, the three of you talking about random things, smoking and singing along to the songs on your phone. The speakers had been forgotten.
Bloom played.
“I’m a bit scared.” Yoongi had whispered, giving the stick to Hoseok.
Hoseok murmured back a “me too.”
You were in the middle of the both of them, eyes wide and glassy with your mouth parted slightly. You were a bit out of it, leaning against Yoongi’s shoulder when you heard his words. He patted the side of your head.
“It’s just that. We’re so big now. BTS is so big now.” He moved his hands apart to make his point, becoming more expressive with his body.
“But we’re so-we’re so small. And I’m scared that people will find out how small and insignificant we are. We’re just tryna make music but what if it doesn’t reach the expectations of others?”
Hoseok looked shocked for a second, holding up his hand.
“Same, Hyung.”
Yoongi gave him a high five.
“Well,” you murmured, still very much in a trance, “ you guys do make good music and work hard. And you’re significant. You help people feel better and make them accept themselves and feel more comfortable about being human. You guys are important.”
Hoseok and Yoongi sighed from next to you, leaning against you to make a sandwich of sorts.
“I’m just scared. Always. Of losing you two. Cause you’re so big and I’m so small. You make a difference in other people’s lives and I-I don’t. You matter and change others and I’m just me, being one of the people you change. How you’ve stayed with me for so many years is beyond me.”
Hoseok kissed the top of your head and Yoongi laced his fingers with your own.
“You make a difference in our lives. You matter to us. And you’re special and sweet and cute and adorable and just...you’re you.” Yoongi muttered.
Hoseok nodded along to his words and you were emotional, tears welling up in your eyes.
“Cute and adorable mean the same thing.” You laughed wetly.
“Do they? I don’t know, man. I’m too high for this. I’m too sleepy.”
Hoseok held up the joint in front of your mouth and you let him hold it as you took another smoke.
“Do you ever- do you ever feel like we would be together in another universe.”
“Probably. Maybe you’re a fan in one of those universes.”
“That’s possible. I’ll still matter though, right?”
“Well jesus christ, obviously. You’re a person, you matter with or without us.”
You giggled, leaning forward and kissing his cheek.
“I’d be the best fan for you.”
“You better be.”
Hoseok was even more out of it then you were at this point, he finally put the burnt out stub in the ashtray next to the bed and sunk down to lay down on the bed properly.
You and Yoongi followed.
Heaven began playing.
You spoke more, about everything and anything and nothing. About fears and your childhood and your love for each other. Along with that, came soft slow kisses.
And what a perfect way to exist. To exist between the two men you love, high and listening to Troye Sivan.
Ths songs kept changing
From For Him to Lost Boy to Happy Little Pill to Talk Me down that sobered the environment and caused the three of you to have a serious conversation about mental health and heartache and dark thoughts. There was Wild and I’m so tired and Fools and There for you.
It was perfect. To be in between smoke and Troye Sivan songs and slow kisses and giggles and deep conversations and lame jokes and to find that there’s love there. The most perfect kind of love.
With time, your words became slurred and low. All three of you were exhausted at that point, eyes slowly falling closed as your hush murmurs turned into incoherent mumbling. Hoseok kissed your forehead softly and Yoongi put an arm around your waist. They both moved close to you, legs becoming tangled.
There were very soft and almost indecipherable ‘I love you’s said by them that were swimming in your mind as dreams overtook you.
Strawberries and cigarettes was playing and before the song could end, all three of you were fast asleep.
And love was still there, in between your shared breathes and soft snores.