Chapter Text
Pure darkness engulfed her.
Ashara was floating in nothingness. She tried to remember where she was, what could possibly be happening, but nothing came.
And then, it did.
She was there, on the Fury vessel, in the heat of an enormous battle. Worse than she’d ever seen. Lights and sounds were erupting from the console in front of her. Blaster bolts flew past the transparisteel of the windshield, nearly hitting every time, but Andronikos dodged them expertly.
“Ashara!”
The apprentice blinked, turning quickly to the pirate at her side, “I’m sorry, what?”
“Did you not hear the Sith—“ he was cut off by a bolt hitting the starboard side of the ship, his snarl growing, “blast! The Sith ordered us to retreat. I need you to kick us into hyperspace.”
“Of course.” Ashara scrambled to collect her bearings. Quickly, she identified the safety switches but elected not to use them, as it would take too long and this was an emergency. Against her better judgement, she pulled back on the center console handle, preparing to jump—just in time to see Darth Marr’s ship explode.
The ship her master was on.
Everything went white.
“No! No no no no no!”
“Um, miss?”
Ashara shot up, her vision dark and blurred as she struggled into conscientiousness. Across the small room, in the small doorway, a child stared at her from the light of the hallway.
She watched the little girl take a half step back, “Um, my momma told me to tell you that breakfast is ready. Um, thank you.”
The girl scurried off instantly and the door closed automatically behind her. Ashara sighed deeply and pushed the thin blanket from her body.
The nightmare still haunted her, fresh in her brain as it had been since the event occurred over a month ago. She felt many things: sadness, anger, frustration, fear...but most of all, guilt. Some part of her felt, if not knew, that if she’d gone onto that ship with her master in the first place like her subconscious told her to, he would be okay.
But now wasn’t the time for all that. The togruta crossed her legs and allowed her arms to rest gently upon them. She steadied her breathing and closed her eyes so that she could better focus on the Force around her.
“There is emotion. There is peace. There is passion. There is serenity. There is death. There is the Force.”
She quietly spoke the chant to herself several times before her mind was clear. When she was ready, Ashara awoke fully and dressed herself for the day. She ducked out of her quaint quarters and made her way to the dining area.
“Ashara! Good morning, my dear.”
A stout, human woman beamed at Ashara from across the table as she set down full plates of food. Even from the other side of the room, Ashara could smell the delicious aroma of grease and fresh eggs, and her stomach rumbled.
“Thank you very much, Nala.”
Ashara sat quickly and devoured the contents of the meal barely before Nala could call the kids to the table. The two children came barreling into the room, loud and obnoxious as ever, but settled and sat when their mother ordered them too.
“Now,” Nala turned pointedly to Ashara, and her stomach twisted. Suddenly she wished she’d waited for this conversation to be over before scarfing down her breakfast, “how did it go last night?”
Ashara took a deep breath, trying not to focus on the kids’ wide eyes boring into her, “I’m sorry, I didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary.”
“Ah.” Nala took a solemn moment to peer down at the floor.
Ashara hated this part. Hated it. Nothing upset her more than disappointing the less fortunate. The people she was so desperate to help, and she couldn’t even do that. By housing and feeding her they were helping her more than she was them, and she hated that too.
“Well, there’s always tonight, right?” Nala smiled warmly at her once again, but Ashara knew it was just for the kids. She could sense the tense uneasiness radiating from her hostess, and yearned to change that, but knew there was nothing she could do.
Besides the children occasionally giggling at one another, the rest of the meal was had in silence. After they went back to playing, Ashara followed Nala into the kitchen with the dishes and began to help clean up.
“Nala,” she said, after several minutes of silence, “if I am a burden to you, please let me—“
“Oh not at all, my dear!” The woman placed her hand on Ashara’s arm, “you are helping more than anyone ever has. And for free!” She scoffed, “that’s more than I could’ve ever asked for. Thank you.”
Ashara nodded and, after a bit, allowed the calm to wash over her. She spent the next few hours helping with various chores around the house and on the farm. Then, she bathed and later meditated until the sun set. Around that time, a soft knock sounded at her door.
“Come in.”
The door slid open and Nala smiled sweetly from the doorway, her dark curls bouncing as she stepped into the room.
When the door shut behind her, her face grew to be more serious. Ashara tensed.
“Tonight will be the night, I can feel it.”
Ashara relaxed, “we can only hope, Nala.”
The woman nodded a few times and turned to leave, but peered over her shoulder to ask, “Pardon my asking, but can’t you tell? With...the Force?”
“I truly wish I could. Perhaps then I could give you a more concrete answer.”
She nodded, looking thoughtful, and wished Ashara a good night before leaving to get the kids off to bed. Ashara glanced at the clock on the wall and mumbled to herself, “four hours.”
Four hours later, Ashara sat, motionless, in the crop fields alongside the house. She was listening intently and felt around desperately with the Force for something, anything, but received nothing in return. The nearly-full moon bathed the crops in shimmering light. Every crop was as pristine as she recalled.
Ashara allowed several minutes to pass before she stood, and then a few more minutes to pass before she went back inside to go to sleep.
As much as she dreaded it.
“Ashara!”
That deep, gruff voice broke her reverie. Ashara glanced at Andronikos, “I’m sorry, what?”
Hyperspace, blaster bolt, explosion. It always happened the same way, every time. That unimaginable dread took hold of her very being and Ashara tried desperately to fight it, but it was crushing.
She awoke sweaty, exhausted, throat sore. Nothing new. In the early hours before dawn, Ashara quickly used the ‘fresher and perched herself at the end of her small cot, forcing herself to breathe evenly, “There is emotion. There is peace. There is passion. There is serenity. There is death. There is the Force.”
A tiny knock sounded at her door and, before she could invite him in, a child appeared there and invited her to breakfast.
Ashara ate. She broke the news to Nala. She did chores, tended to crops, mediated, bathed.
Two in the morning arrived before Ashara was prepared. Instead of sitting among the crops that night, she would have to watch from a nook off to the side of the porch. She waited until her legs were sore and her eyes would barely stay open, but, of course, nothing. Solemnly, Ashara shuffled back into the house and ducked into her small room. Sleep came before she was ready to be taken.
The sun in the window gently touched Ashara’s face, and brought her into the waking world. She yawned and stretched. It took several seconds for her to realize.
No nightmare.
And then, she realized something else.
It was past sunrise.
Ashara was sent into full panic mode. With no time to meditate, she knew her Force connection would be iffy, but she focused and did her best to reach out with it anyway.
Something felt...wrong. There was a void. Almost quiet enough that she would never have noticed had she not gone looking for it, but it was as if there was a chunk missing somewhere.
Her mind raced. A million possibilities rushed through her thoughts, not a single one good.
In one leap, Ashara was off the cot and across the room, her fist smashing into the wall as she ran out the door, nearly catching her horns on the frame. In a second she was across the farmhouse, out of breath. She sprinted into the kitchen, the source of that awful void, only to find…
...Nala. Looking as chipper as always. Of course, when she saw sweaty, out-of-breath, pajama-wearing Ashara she looked horrified, but that wasn’t important.
What was important was the guest she had at her side.
A Sith.