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This Isn't What I Wanted

Summary:

What would happen if Gabriel won? What would happen if he got exactly what he had been fighting for? What if he did it all without ever cluing anyone in on the fact that he was Hawkmoth? What if he ended up regretting it?

Notes:

I’ve seen some theories floating around about Emilie that caught my interest, so naturally a story had to be made. This show also has me very worried for Nathalie’s safety so I’m just gonna make my own universe where she gets what I think she deserves.

Chapter 1: Wishes

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

“Are you sure you can do this, Nathalie? This will be the last time. I’m sure of it,” he sounded confident enough, though the silver mask of Hawkmoth did very well to hide his facial expressions.

 

“I trust you. If you say it’ll work then I know it will too. Give it to me,” she replied with a smile.

 

He produced the peacock miraculous from his pocket and placed it in her outstretched hand. His heart always beat a little faster every time she transformed in front of him, but he would never admit it out loud. Still, he would miss this with her. 

He turned and watched the butterfly window open in front of him, the negative emotions already floating through the glass and swarming him. This was a big one. He plucked a stray butterfly from the air and transferred his power into it. Next to him, Mayura did the same with a feather. He went through the motions and said the usual words that came with sending out an akuma, but he could barely hear them. The excitement was absolutely overwhelming his senses. Soon enough the neon moth emblem appeared before his eyes. He turned to see the same had happened with Mayura.

 

“Morningstar, I am Hawkmoth. For far too long you have been left in the darkness while your sister shines on the stage. I am giving you the power to trap your audience so they'll have no choice but to watch you in your greatest performance yet.”

 

“Morningstar, I am Mayura and to help you succeed I am giving you the stars themselves through Starfire. She will be your biggest fan and will help you to make sure everyone has a front row seat to your show.”

 

“In return you will be tasked with getting Ladybug and Cat Noir’s miraculous’. We expect nothing less from the true shining star of Paris.”

 

In a matter of moments the sky outside darkened until it was almost night and what looked like a shining human shaped meteor shot across the darkness. It was followed by a giant amber and red flaming fox. He watched as the girl directed the fox toward her victims and commanded it to shoot giant stars from its eyes. These stars encapsulated each and every citizen and held them suspended far up in the clouds. The sky soon shone with an array of stars all aimed at the girl, their light causing her to only grow stronger. 

Her battle with Ladybug and Cat Noir was a fierce one, but it took a turn in her favor when Cat Noir foolishly tried to cataclysm her akumatized necklace and she dodged it. He ended up destroying the ledge of the building he was on and fell forward, plummeting to the ground below. Ladybug immediately jumped to save him, but she never even touched the ground. The fox had her in a star before she could even think. Cat Noir, whose reflexes had allowed him to land on his feet, could only reach forward to try to grab her, but he was a second too late as the star shot upwards into the heavens.

Now alone and disoriented he continued to fight, but it was clear that he was getting exhausted. Though the sky was brighter than ever, it was still dark on the ground and his rarely used night vision wasn't cutting it, as he had to constantly switch between it and normal sight. One wrong step caused him to lose his balance and, in that one split second, he floundered allowing Morningstar to capture him as well.

Hawkmoth could barely contain his glee as he watched his two greatest enemies finally succumb to defeat. Ladybug had foolishly used her lucky charm within the star, no doubt thinking she'd be able to use it to escape, and had watched the battle clutching a pair of sunglasses. Now she and her partner were forced to sit there as their miraculous powers slowly counted down. 

 

“Mayura, go get them. It's too dangerous to let Morningstar come here.”

 

“Of course, sir.”

 

Ever the loyal servant, she was quick to accept his orders and rushed to get her own firsthand look at her enemies downfall. Once she found them, she kept her distance and stayed hidden in the darkness. She would only strike when she knew they had won. 

The akumatized girl had brought their two stars down to the large flat roof of a building. Her fox landed next to her and growled at the heroes as they sat and waited. She wanted nothing more than to grow her audience even further, but she had to listen to Hawkmoth first above all else. 

It was the cat miraculous that powered down first. It’s hard to say who was more shocked when the black mask faded away to reveal none other than Adrien Agreste. Ladybug was close to tears, Mayura could only gasp, and Hawkmoth was frozen in his place, eyes as wide as saucers. 

Morningstar had just grabbed the ring from the defenseless boy when the earrings finally ticked down. Marinette and Adrien could do nothing but stare at each other in shock. Once both miraculous were in better hands, Mayura made herself known and walked over to Morningstar. The akumatized villain no doubt felt that she had done something revolutionary with her being the first to succeed in her mission, but Mayura was intent on getting all of Hawkmoth’s praise. She grinned as she plucked them from the girl’s grip. 

 

“Thank you so much for you help in this matter. We truly appreciate it. Hawkmoth?” she said in a sickly sweet voice.

 

“Yes dear?” he asked through his akuma.

 

“We got what we wanted. The war has been won.”

 

He called back the akuma and every star in the sky gently floated to the ground where they popped like bubbles. After snapping Starfire into dust, Mayura was able to jump from roof to roof all the way back to the lair, before the dark sky faded back into the morning sunlight.

********

Hawk Moth was gone by the time she got back, leaving only Gabriel Agreste in his wake. Nathalie was beaming from ear to ear as she de-transformed before him. The ladybug and cat miraculous looked like nothing more than outlandish jewelry in her hand, but they were so much more. 

 

“I believe these are yours, sir," she said with a mock bow. 

 

“You are the best assistant a man could ask for.”

 

He grabbed the miraculous from her, completely missing the way her cheeks turned beet red at his comment. Before he could walk off and admire his spoils, he was stopped by her hand on his arm.

 

“If I may…”

 

He turned and raised an eyebrow at her. She took that as her silent cue to speak.

 

“Adrien was Cat Noir. We’ve been fighting your son the entire time.”

 

“And what of it?”

 

“There were times when he almost died. You yourself fought him with your own hands. Isn’t that a bit...disconcerting?”

 

“He never died and if he ever got injured, Ladybug’s magic was able to cure it. In the end, the reward was worth the risk. Are you going soft on me now?”

 

“Of course not, sir.”

 

She immediately went into assistant mode and lowered her head in shame, her body stiff. Whatever they had between them, he was still her boss at the end of the day. He sighed and patted her shoulder.

 

“Lighten up, Nat. We won. This is a time for celebration.”

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

“We will wait a few days to make the wish. I don't want to raise any more suspicion than this will already. Better to not have my wife miraculously appear the night Hawkmoth wins.”

 

He laughed at his own joke as they made their way back to his atelier. Nathalie left him to his own devices and made her way upstairs. He was in too good of a mood to get mad if she wanted to take a quick break.  

She barely had time to hide herself in an unused bedroom before she collapsed to the ground in a coughing fit. This one was by far the worst attack she had ever had and it left her in the fetal position on the carpet. 

 

“Miss Nathalie, this isn't good,” Duusu said from her position above her. 

 

She coughed again and was dismayed when she pulled a bloody hand away from her mouth. The woman was still hopelessly unaware of her own situation though, choosing to just wipe the blood off on her blazer and curl back up in a ball.

 

“Miss?” the kwami tried again.

 

“Duusu I’ll be fine. This was the last time I'll ever have to transform. Now I have all the time in the world to heal.”

 

Her voice was a mix between a groan and a whisper, but she was adamant that she was fine.

 

“Well can you at least heal on a more comfy surface? It would be a crime to allow you to develop a sore back from the way you're laying.”

 

“Fine.”

 

She struggled to her feet and weakly walked to the bed. She almost fell backwards when a wave of dizziness struck her, but Duusu was strong enough to push her forward so she landed on the bed instead. Nathalie was still in a cloud when she kicked off her shoes and climbed further onto the mattress. Duusu was right, this was much better than the floor. 

She glanced up at the clock on the wall. She had a few hours until she would have to pick up Adrien from school. When that came she would be perfectly spotless in appearance and in attitude, but right now she allowed herself to rest. Clutching a pillow to her chest, she pulled off her glasses in order to place them on the bedside table. She thought she heard the sound of them falling to the floor instead as a deep sleep finally consumed her.

********

The faint sound of a piano drifting through the house was what first woke her. She almost lost her mind when she tried to look at the clock again and found that it was too dark to make out the time. How long had she been out? She had forgotten all about Adrien. She reached out for her glasses but couldn’t feel them. Sitting up as fast as she could was definitely not the right next move to make and only resulted in her falling back on the pillow. 

 

“Good to see you're up,” a voice said, startling her.

 

She blinked a few times until she could barely make out a mass sitting in a chair on the other side of the room. It rose and walked toward her, taking more shape as it neared her. All she could clearly see was Gabriel’s blonde hair as he sat next to her on the bed. He then placed her glasses in her hand, which she immediately put on.

 

“Sir, I am so sorry. I only meant to take a short nap, but the miraculous took so much out of me and then I forgot Adrien and-”

 

His hand on hers silenced her. It was warm as he grasped it tighter, interlocking their fingers. She wondered if he even knew what he was doing but she didn’t say anything about it. Soon his wife would be back and any sense of something between them would be gone. She might as well savor it.

 

“Nathalie it is quite alright. I know how much it takes out of you and now that it’s over I expect you to get a lot more rest.”

 

“But Adrien. Did he get home alright?”

 

“I found you asleep long before school was out. His bodyguard was able to get him just fine.”

 

“Is he...is he ok?”

 

“Yes, as far as I can tell. He’s obviously sadder than usual, but his identity is still safe. It was too dark for any cameras to catch them, so I doubt anyone in Paris even knows they lost.”

 

“Well a few more days and everything will be fine. Imagine how happy he’ll be when he gets his mother back.”

 

“Exactly.”

 

She adjusted her head on the pillow. It was so comfy. Duusu was a saint for getting her to sleep here and saving her back. His fingers were still tightly interwoven with hers. Throwing caution to the wind, she managed to tighten her own fingers around his. They had an almost iron grip on each other now. It felt like hours passed as they sat there holding on as if they would lose the other if they let go. Somewhere in between she noticed the piano go silent, its young owner probably going off to bed.

 

“Thank you for everything Nathalie. I truly don't think I could've done this without you,” he finally said, breaking the long silence. 

 

“No thanks necessary. You know I would do anything to help you.”

 

“We must never speak of this to anyone, you know that, right?”

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

“Not even Emilie.”

 

“Of course.”

 

“Good.”

 

“What do you plan to tell her when she wakes up?”

 

“That she was in a coma because of the miraculous and after waiting and waiting, she finally woke up one day.”

 

“And she’ll believe that?”

 

“She has to. For her sake and Adrien’s.”

 

“And what will you do with the miraculous?”

 

“I shall put the butterfly and peacock back in the safe as if they never left. As for the ladybug and the cat.”

 

He paused to dig around in his jacket, pulling out the miraculous in question. They still gleamed with magic like always. They probably wouldn’t after they were used for the wish.

 

“When it’s all said and done, I'd like for you to have them,” he finished.

 

“What? Why me?”

 

“Think of it as a reminder of what you did for me. Of a debt that I can never repay you for.”

 

“I’d be honoured, sir.”

 

“I thought you might.”

 

He sighed as he returned them to his pocket and looked up at the clock.

 

“It is far too late to have you drive home, especially in your condition. I think it would be best if you stay here for the night.”

 

She opened her mouth to protest, but he cut her off. “And no this is not debatable.”

 

Nathalie huffed in annoyance, but muttered a quick “yes, sir” anyway, a small smile playing on her lips. 

 

She moved to sit up, but he wouldn’t let go of her hand. She pulled gently, but his grip still held up. He seemed to not even notice her as he stared off deep in thought.

 

“Uh Gabriel?”

 

When he still didn't answer, she reached over with her free hand and tapped him on the arm. He suddenly blinked and looked around as if he didn't know where he was. He must've really been out of it.

 

“Huh, what?”

 

“Could you maybe release me?” she shuffled her hand for emphasis.

 

“Oh! Sorry, I was just...thinking.”

 

He let go and though she instantly missed his touch, she knew it was for the best. She sat up and noticed a bag on the floor near the bed. Prior to this, she had actually stayed the night enough to warrant her keeping an overnight bag under her desk just in case. He was sweet enough to bring it up while she had slept. 

Gabriel had started for the door, but he suddenly spun on his heel and walked back over to her. This time he sat much closer to her as he took her hand in his again. His thumb lightly traced over her soft skin. 

 

“You know where my room is. If you need anything at all, don’t hesitate to ask,” he said without looking up at her.

 

She was about to reply when she felt him bringing her hand up to his face. His lips barely brushed the back of her hand, but they burned all the same. He immediately dropped it and stood up, his eyes wide with confusion. Neither of them knew why he did that and it might not be in their best interest to try to figure it out.

 

“Goodnight,” she said it so quietly that she didn't know if she had really said it or thought it.

 

He merely nodded in response before he fled.

********

The week had gone by rather fast considering the situation. Adrien was doing a lot better than he had earlier, but that wasn’t much of an improvement. From what Nathalie had seen while picking him up, it looked like he had grown closer to Marinette, but it was still awkward between them. Her heart ached for him, but she knew that this was the day his life would change for the better. As his bodyguard put the car in start and started to drive, Adrien was completely clueless as to what would await him when he got home. He was also clueless to Nathalie beside him subtly grabbing at her chest and hiding a wince of pain.

 

Deep below the Agreste mansion, Gabriel stood before the bane of his existence. The giant coffin that Emilie’s body lay in was more than unbecoming of her. She deserved so much better. Thankfully she would be freed today. He looked down at the earrings and ring in his hand and closed his fist around them.

 

“Kwamis of creation and destruction, I summon you.”

 

His hand glowed with a bright white light, temporarily blinding him. When it faded he was met with a small red kwami that resembled a bug and a black one that sported the ears of a cat.

 

“What did I tell ya, sugar. I knew it would be him,” the black one said in a scratchy voice.

 

“Shut it. You two are going to tell me how I can make my wish and you’re going to do it now,” he sneered.

 

“And why should we? So you can take over the world?” the red one sneered right back.

 

“No, you're going to help me bring my wife back.”

 

They both turned to see her temporary tomb and gasped.

 

“You. You were my son’s kwami,” he said to the black one.

 

“Um the name is Plagg and this is Tikki by the-”

 

“I don't care. You were my son’s. You saw how her death led to his suffering. Don’t you want to help fix that?”

 

“Well...i don't know...”

 

“Every wish comes with consequences, even if your intentions are pure. Are you really willing to risk that?” Tikki asked in earnest.

 

“Yes. I’ve come too far to give up now. I’m willing to pay any price to see her again.”

 

“Very well. Gabriel Agreste, speak the ancient words ‘upon the miraculous of the ladybug and the miraculous of the black cat’ followed by your wish. Let us hope the price you pay is something you were willing to let go of.”

 

He was practically giddy as she said that. His grip tightened on the miraculous, his gaze determined and focused. As soon as he started saying the words, Tikki and Plagg were sucked back into their respective miraculous.

 

“Upon the miraculous of the ladybug and the miraculous of the black cat, I wish for you to restore my wife back to full health and release her from her prison.”

 

This time the glow from his hands shone like the sun as it filled the entire room with its light. The jewels themselves started to burn like fire, causing him to drop them. It didn’t matter though, the wish had already been cast. He watched as the light faded again and saw his wife’s head move ever so slightly.

Forgetting everything else, he ran toward her and almost ripped the glass top open. He felt his heart hammering in his ears as he watched her eyes slowly open to look at him.

 

“Emilie. Welcome back,” he said through tears.

 

“Gabriel?”

Notes:

This would’ve been up earlier, but I watched 'Ladybug' and then I went into a shipping coma. That episode man...god that was a lot. The finale is gonna be so freaking good, but at the same time I just know something bad is gonna happen to Nathalie and I’m not ready.