Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The day started normal enough.

Ray was called to help Mama, which made Emma a little disappointed, so Norman dragged her to the library and let her pick a story. The Little Mermaid was her choice. He did his best to bring it to life with his narration, fully capturing the cute girl’s attention and making her giggle with barely contained joy, wanting to meet a real mermaid once she was adopted.

She was all up in his space when the sea princess exchanged her voice for a pair of legs. Norman had to try very hard to keep it together and not start stuttering from how flustered Emma made him-

And then the yelling started. Harsh, positively hateful yelling, followed by panicked hushes and reprimands.

He was taken aback. In all his 10 years living here, Norman had never heard someone get this mad. Annoyed, perhaps even frustrated at times but never so full of loathing like these screams suggested. He could even hear some bad words thrown in there.

"It sounds like Ray." Emma said, worried.

It was hard to be sure with how violent the yells were but Norman had a feeling Emma was right. It did sound like Ray.

The screams suddenly stopped.

Silence.

They abandoned their book, worried about their best friend.

Thankfully, the boy they were searching for walked into the library not a second later. He looked a little hurt but lighted up once he spotted Norman, eyes going even brighter when he saw Emma by his side.

Almost unconsciously, Norman paused, taken aback.

He had seen a happy Ray on multiple occasions, he had memorized how Ray softened around the edges, eyes crinkling with fondness. He tended to light up a little when he was content, but not to this extreme. His smile was disarming, those grey eyes scarily bright, carrying unconditional love, like Norman and Emma were the best thing in his life.

He was wearing his cotton blazer and three colorful hairpins that Norman have never seen before, keeping his fringe at bay.

It made him seem softer...? Brighter?

"Norman! Emma! I’m glad I found you two!" The boy chirped, and Norman was scared by how cute he was acting. This was not natural. What was happening?

"Hey there Ray! You look...Happy. Very happy!" Emma said, sharing his shock. She sounded awkward, like she wasn't sure if she should hug Ray and ask what made him so happy or call Mama to check if he was sick.

"I’m always happy when I’m with you two!" Ray cheered, using Emma's levels of bluntness.

Norman blushed when Ray laced his fingers with his and Emma’s, still not understanding what was happening. Emma was caught off guard but she squeezed her friend’s hand back, smiling one of her sunny smiles before widening her pretty eyes, using her free hand to run her fingers over Ray's neck. The action got an adorable giggle out of Ray, which was unsettling to varying degrees, but not nearly as alarming as Emma's words, "What happened to your numbers?"

"I don't know."

Norman followed Emma's fingers, noticing there was only an '8' on his neck, the other 4 digits seemingly disappeared.

Norman's eyes widened, following Emma's movements and checking up close to see if someone had passed paint over the digits. He found clean skin instead. The numbers were truly gone.

This never happened before.

Their numbers were permanent, no amount of scrubbing in the shower could so much as faze them. They should be impossible to be erased.

The sudden hateful yelling. The lack of numbers. The weird behavior and fashion stance.

Something was clearly not right.

His eyes sharpened, trying to understand what was happening but only coming up with unreasonable ideas. Illogical ones.

His puzzlement only increased when a second Ray entered the library, this time with a short ponytail and a standard white shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbow. His displeased frown was more familiar but his neck only had the number '11' on it.

'What's happening?' Norman thought. Openly staring at the -imperfect clone of his best friend? Doppelganger? Secret Twin?- Second Ray.

They probably should do something but he and Emma just kept staring at the new Ray. Unsure how they should react. The new Ray's eyes were darker, a blackish green, but he was most definitely Ray, down to the unamused vibe he emitted.

"R-Ray??!" Emma asked in disbelief, staring at him like he was as mysterious as the giraffes she read about.

"Emma." He used the exact same bored tone as their Ray, but his eyes were dead. She unconsciously approached the newcomer, pushing the Happy Ray with her, which consequently dragged Norman closer as well.

Emma poked Ponytail Ray's cheek, gaining a displeased huff in return.

Norman's brain was running fast but he remained in a state of shocked confusion. Who were these imperfect copies of his friend? What were they doing here? Why did they even exist?

What was happening??

Emma tilted her head, entering a staring contest with Ponytail Ray before breaking her hold from Happy Ray, sandwiching the face of their new arrival in her hands and gasping in awe "Wow!" She squished his face, delighted, "You're real!"

"So it seems," Ponytail Ray said, looking annoyed but still sounding bored "Can you please take your hands off me now?"

Emma reluctantly did so, amazed but still puzzled. She looked at Norman with curiosity, hungry for answers, "Why are there two Rays?"

For all his intellect and quick thinking, Norman could only smile awkwardly, unable to answer. His confusion did not lessen when Happy Ray shook his head, still playing with Norman's hand, "Four Ray's actually."

"Four?" Emma parroted, intrigued.

"And where's ours?"

Happy Ray shrugged in an exaggerated manner, looking sheepish. A weak blush on his cheek

Newton's have mercy on him. It was as if his friend suddenly turned into a Ray of Sunshine.

"Your Ray isn't available at the moment," Ponytail answered, already tired of her.

Emma sobered up, exchanging an alarmed look with Norman "Isn't available?!"

"Why?" She ordered, determined to find her friend and help him out.

"He split in four."

Oh. That was... 

...Something.

It explained why there was more than one Ray but it raised many more questions.

"How?" Norman asked, at the exact same time Emma frowned "Split? Does that mean you're all a part of him?"

"We are not entirely sure how this occurred" Ponytail Ray admitted, " And yes, we all represent different aspects of Ray's personality. I am what's fundamentally his source of information, his pride, apathy, and logic. Also responsible for organizing his memory."

Pride and apathy.

That didn't sound stable.

"And I am his empathy! His feelings, love, and hope. As well as his talent!" Happy Ray said, swinging their connected hands. Happy Ray -or should he call him Empathy now?- was giving him a bright and tender look. Norman smiled back, a little awkwardly, not entirely genuine. He really liked when Ray was happy but he was not used to seeing those grey eyes so soft. Full of trust and vulnerability.

The boy was Ray.

But at the same time, he wasn't.

The whole situation miffed Norman, still having trouble coming to terms with what had happened to his friend but easily understanding what he was theoretically dealing with. "And the other two missing Rays are?"

"That would be Hate and Depression."

Empathy tightened his hold on Norman's hand at the names.

Oh.

"That doesn't sound good..." Emma voiced his thoughts. Empathy furrowed his brows at her openly troubled expression, immediately placing a gentle hand on her shoulder but not trying to reassure her with words.

That was very telling.

And not good at all.

Empathy and logic are extremely big parts of a person. To be split into hate when anger or dislike should’ve been encompassed in the feelings department of Empathy meant Ray had a considerable amount of it.

And then there was depression...

Not sadness, or fear, but depression.

Norman felt disappointed in himself, he had been positive Ray’s cynical attitude was thanks to his morbid sense of humor. To think he was genuinely depressed was heartbreaking.

Emma furrowed her brows, understandably concerned "Do they..." Her voice was troubled "Do they contain more than one function as well?"

"Certainly. Hate encompass mostly external hate, as well as Ray's creativity, drive, and morals." Logic seemed annoyed but his voice didn't change at all. Perhaps it never would. "Depression is responsible for his anxiety, his guilt, self-hate, grief, and sui-"

"Suitable fringe!"  Empathy yelled over the other, sending Logic a warning look. Had been since self-hate was mentioned. "He is responsible for Ray keeping up with his iconic fringe for so long."

Logic rolled his eyes but acquiesced, "Indeed"

There was something very, very wrong with the interruption. But the only other thing that fit the theme of this Depression persona was 'suicidal' which Norman would rather not think about.

Not yet.

Emma seemed overwhelmed, not liking the news "And where are they?"

"Depression is moping somewhere and Hate is currently knocked out for being a nuisance," Logic said, "Should stay down for a while."

Moping somewhere. Probably alone.

Warning bells rang inside Norman's head.

"Can we meet Depression?" Norman asked, having no intention of staying still even if the two parts of Ray denied his request. Judging by Emma's determined look, she wasn't going to accept a "no" either.

"I would rather keep Depression isolated but I suppose meeting him is inevitable." Logic sighed at their determination "Every data I’ve gathered has proved that stopping you two is not worth it at best and simply not feasible at worst."

"Ah, keeping him hidden would truly be hard." Empathy said, sounding a little nervous "But it’s okay! Depression will feel better with you two around! He absolutely adores you both so he probably won't do much." Empathy squeezed Norman's hand, giving Emma a big smile. Openly nervous but optimistic.

Optimistic.

Emma mirrored Empathy's smile, green eyes a little wide. She may be adapting to the situation, but she still wasn't fully used to having someone with their gloomy friend face acting so cheerfully, so positive.

Chapter Text

Once they exited the library, they stared at the hallway, unsure where to go to.

"We scattered at Isabella's room," Logic spoke, "Depression isn't very energetic so he should be close by."

Empathy nodded, holding his hand tighter. Emma gave the smiling fraction of her friend a look "Do you not like Depression?"

Empathy blinked "No, not really."

"Why..?" Emma frowned.

Empathy made a vague gesture, smiling in a way that didn't reach his eyes, "He is mean...?"

"Only hears what he wants," Logic said, bored, "A hindrance."

"Yeah, that!"

Emma and Norman exchanged looks. Empathy giggled, "Don't worry. He loves you two a lot. He might actually hear what you have to say-"

The door to Isabella's office opened up, distracting his cheerful friend, "Mama?" His smile got smaller, still fond but a little melancholic "Hey Mama."

"...Hello Empathy," Isabella said slowly, also weirded out by this openly delighted version of Ray. Logic silently glared at her, face growing even more irritated when his cold eyes landed on the unconscious child in her arms.

Another Ray.

It didn't take being a full score to see Mama was carrying Hate. The boy's face was set on a scowl even while knocked out, his uniform shredded, pants ripped to shorts and shirt losing its long sleeves, collar trashed. It was hard to be sure because of the wild hair - even more spiky than normal - and his overall position but his neck seemed to have been violently scratched, his skin red and irritated from the edge of this cheek to his collarbone, the black '9' cut thrice by nail marks strong enough to bleed.

Norman was sure no part of Ray would ever attack him, but Hate sure looked like a wild one. Judging by Logic's disgusted look and Empathy’s concern, Hate was probably a chaotic Ray—Chaotic trait? Chaotic side...? This is confusing.

Mama smiled at Norman and Emma, relieved to see them, "Emma. Norman. I am assuming you know of the situation?"

"A little, yes."

"Good. The remaining Ray went to the storage room. Can you keep an eye on him for me? He is very quiet, doesn't seem to like me either, I am afraid he might be scheming something."

They exchanged a look, Norman nodded.

"What about Hate?" Emma asked, eyeing the unconscious boy with trepidation, "Where are you taking him?"

"I am taking him to the infirmary."

"Good. Please drug him." Logic blurted out, "Bring enough to knock Depression and Empathy out as well."

Isabella stared at his cold green eyes, their stare down broken when Emma pulled Logic's ponytail in reprimand, completely rejecting his suggestion "Don't do that!!"

Norman nodded, he had his suspicions Logic would be the less empathetic of the four sides so the cold approach didn't surprise him. He was rather confused about the plan, however. Why knock himself down? Wouldn't it be easier to find a solution with everyone conscious? Doesn't Logic want to fuse into Ray?

"Why me too?" Empathy pouted, eyes wide, "I can be a good boy." The lack of sarcasm was offputting. Add in the bright spark in his eyes and Norman could barely recognize his friend.

Barely recognize...

Ah, he got it now.

Logic could pass up as the real Ray. People would think he was in a bad mood, acting colder than usual, but they'd easily mistake him for their grumpy brother. Unfortunately, Empathy’s attitude was impossible to pass up as normal.

It wasn’t a bad idea. Technically speaking.

Logic gave him a look, silently asking his opinion on it. Norman shook his head, unwilling to go with this plan. He wanted to help his friend—every part of his friend—and, as cold as it sounded, he planned to use this event to study Ray.

He made a mistake assuming he knows everything about Ray. One he doesn't plan on repeating. He dislikes making mistakes and he positively hated hurting his friends, this was the perfect opportunity to get to know Ray better and help him out.

Logic frowned.

.

They arrived at the cabinets. The lights were off.

Logic turned them on.

The remaining Ray grumbled at the change in lightning. He was clawing at his head, staring with a wide eye at them.

Depression had Ray's hairstyle and the standard Grace Field uniform on, his shirts and pants far more wrinkled than usual, hastily put on. At first glance, he looked exactly like his best friend but the number on his neck only said '4', his visible eye shining a beautiful violet. The big bags underneath it weren't nearly as pretty.

Depression kept staring at them, growing overwhelmed and avoiding eye contact. Logic was watching him like he was a particularly annoying bug, which didn't surprise Norman. Empathy’s reaction, on the other hand, was interesting. He looked at Depression as if he might lash out, tightening his hold on Norman's hand and staying a little behind Emma.

It made Norman uneasy. He had a feeling Hate would be aggressive but Depression shouldn't attack.

Though... Logic did mention Depression also represented self-hate.

That's...

Not good.

He squeezed Empathy’s hand back, getting a shy smile in return. The adorableness of it was still weird but he supposes it's pretty nice.

Still... He misses Ray's small smiles, the slight edge in them endearing.

"Hello," Emma said quietly, making Depression tense up, "Are you Ray's Depression?"

He nodded slowly, still avoiding eye contact, probably ashamed. He must have noticed their worry, trying to melt into his clothes and distract himself with the floor. Emma furrowed her brow, not sure what to do. Depression must feel her intense eyes on him, shrinking further into himself, "I am sorry."

Emma blinked, brows furrowing in genuine concern, "For what...?"

He gave her an uneasy look, as if the answer was obvious and she was being mean for playing with him like that. When he searched Emma's face, carefully checking her honest eyes and only finding genuine confusion the depressed side grew inexplicably restless, quick to look away again, shoulders going up to his ears while he scratched at the edges of his sleeves with trembling hands.

The room was filled in uncomfortable silence. Depression seemingly unwilling to answer, growing more and more uncomfortable under her gaze. Emma didn't budge, so eventually, he caved in "Existing." His voice was uncharacteristically quiet, he sounded resigned, "For helping Ray be such a disgusting person. For disappointing everyone and being so slow at everything. For wasting your time yet being too damn selfish to stay away, for being too much of a coward to take out the trash." Depression hissed, glaring at an unimpressed Logic and an awkward Empathy, "For helping these pieces of shit be so damn incompetent."

Emma's eyes widened, crushed. Norman felt a pang in his chest, hating to see her bright eyes look so troubled.

The confirmation of his suspicion was undeniably heartbreaking as well.

'Damn it, Ray. For how long...?'

"I know you spend time with Ray because you love him, he makes you two happy! Depression is just a downer. It wasn't your fault Ray created him." Empathy reassured, gently patting Emma's head and reprimanding Depression, "Stop being so harsh on Ray, can't you see you're making Emma sad?"

Norman stared at Empathy, he knows the lovable trait was very open, but he didn't think he would be this careless. Depression eyes predictably widened, giving Emma a panicked look, "No! Don't be sad! Please don't be sad, I am so sorry Emma," He took one step back, two, three. Hitting his back on the walls and trembling, voice losing it strength, "I promise I won't speak anymore. I won't even mov—"

"Stop," Emma ordered. Depression immediately froze, quiet, probably not even breathing. Emma marched up to him with a purpose, placing both hands on his shoulder, forcing the incomplete boy to look at her, "I don't like it when you talk bad about my friends. I don't like it when you say mean things about yourself." Depression was already choking on another sorry but Emma didn't let him, "Don't. I hate when you're in pain way more. Talk. I want to know more about you, about Ray. I want to help."

"That's sweet of you, Emma. You're very kind, I really love that about you," Empathy said nervously, gently pushing Emma's arm, trying to get her away from Depression. "But you shouldn't waste your time on him. Everything he says makes people feel sad."

Empathy had a gentle smile, eyes sometimes checking on Norman but completely ignoring how his words affected the quivering mess Emma was trying to calm down. It was unsettling, Empathy clearly carried a lot of love and made sure they were happy, but he didn't seem to have a drop of compassion to spare for Depression. No care for his feelings.

Norman furrowed his brows, hit by the realization that Empathy knew his words were having a negative reaction. He wanted to keep Depression quiet.

"I don't care!" Emma screamed, giving Depression a determined smile, the one that made her eyes sparkle and pull you in, easily getting Norman to fall in love, "Do you want a hug?"

Depression shrunk further into himself, "No."

"Liar," Norman said, unsure if he should help Emma deal with Depression or get to know Logic and Empathy better. The three seemed like a hazard to each other. Getting to understand why their relationship was so bad was very important.

Depression didn't know how to handle being called out, so he looked away. Emma frowned, not hesitating to hug him. The boy imediatly froze in her hold, completely rigid.

"Here we go again," Logic said, crossing his arms and sighing when Depression started shaking, hands clawing at Emma's back.

Norman tensed up, wondering if he should drag Emma away from the unstable trait. Before he could overthink, a hand gently patted his hair. Norman blinked at Empathy, being met with a calming smile, "It's okay. Depression would never attack Emma, she is his favorite."

"It's okay. Let it out." Emma said gently, tightened her hold on Depression, "I don't mind, there's no need to apologize."

Norman got a little closer, noting Depression had started crying. His tears were eerily silent, mumbling "I am sorry" constantly but never elaborating.

It was a strange sight. He never saw Ray cry and Depression, while not exactly Ray, looked so much like his best friend...

Norman unconsciously got closer, feeling his hand be squeezed a little too tightly.  He smiled gently at an anxious Empathy, staring at those vulnerable eyes until the incomplete boy reluctantly caved in, leting Norman sit beside Emma. He was tempted to hug the crying side but he felt like Empathy wanted to keep holding hands, so he merely rubbed Depression's back. "Hey... what's bothering you?"

Depression bit his lips, refusing to talk.

"He told you already," Logic rolled his eyes, "He exists."

Empathy nodded, waiting for Depression to stop crying before asking, "Can we please leave him be now? I want to show everything Ray can do when Hate and Depression don't get in the way! It will be fun!" He lit up, all bright again, "Did you know Ray can make flower crowns? I have been trying for so long to make you both one but even Logic didn't let me!"

Norman actually knew that, he saw Ray give Anna a flower crown on her birthday. It was beautiful. If Emma wore one of his crowns she would look stunning, a true fairy tale princess. And judging by Empathy’s colorful hairpin esthetic, Ray would look pretty showered in soft flowers as well.

But as lovely as that sounded, abandoning Depression and Logic was not an option.

"Later Empathy," Norman said, worried about Depression but trying to structure his concerns in a way that wouldn't make the quiet side feel worse, "I am curious about Depression, we don't see much of him. Logic is fascinating as well, I don't want to be separated from him."

Logic's bored expression didn't change, but the tips of his ears turned red.

Interesting.

"Cause there's nothing to see. You should go with him." Depression hissed, pushing himself out of Emma’s hold and forcefully looking away from her sad face. He leaned into Norman's hand almost unconsciously after losing Emma's warmth but jumped away a second later, guilty, "Empathy may be lacking, but he is still the best of us."

"See? Depression agrees!" Empathy smiled in victory, pulling Norman's arm and trying to move Emma as well, "Come on!"

Norman shook his head. There were a lot of things wrong here. They couldn't just abandon them-

"Then come with us!" Emma smiled widely at Depression, linking their hands and giving Empathy an expectant look, "You can make everyone a crown right? I am sure Depression would look cute in blue and pink. It would match his eyes! And Logic could put some in his ponytail!"

Depression seemed scared, staring in disbelief at their linking hands. Norman was tempted to hug him but he didn't make a move, well aware that would only overwhelm him. He would rather not make him cry again.

"This is a terrible idea," Logic made a face. "I refuse."

"But I want you to come too! I want to know more about you."

"Come on," Norman said with a small smile, "You know you won't be able to win against her."

Logic narrowed his eyes, staring at him with an unreadable expression and side eying Emma. He was quick to sigh in defeat, smart enough not to oppose them.

Chapter Text

Emma kept a tight hold on Depression's hand, worried about the sad boy wearing her best friend's face. Logic and Empathy too. They worried her a lot. She hoped going out and making flower crowns would help Logic relax and calm down Empathy. She really wanted to make them happy. All of them. Even Depression, who encompass the opposite of joy.

Ray -her Ray- would tell her this was a stupid idea but she doesn't like seeing her friend troubled. She knows hate is a strong word, something Mama warned to be careful while saying it, but Emma hated the feeling of Depression crying in her arms, his constant apologies confusing her, the raw guilt and pain in it breaking her heart.

She smiled at Depression, sad but unsurprised to have him avoid eye contact. Empathy was still clued by Norman's side, seemingly wanting to grab her hand as well but too nervous to actually get there. Logic was silent, staring at Norman with an unreadable look.

Everyone was silent.

Too silent.

Emma usually doesn't mind silence, but this one feels oppressive, something that rarely happens in her wonderful home.

 She doesn't like it. At all.

"What's your favorite color?" Emma asked the sides, trying to banish this tense atmosphere. "I can’t just pick one but blue and yellow are nice! green and pink too! Oh, and purple!!"

"Mine is blue, green and orange!" Empathy said right away, giving her a bright smile Emma was growing to love. Norman still seemed unbalanced by his cheerful attitude but the unease was weaker than when Empathy first showed up. 

"Green and blue are pretty colors," Norman smiled easily, staring at Logic with an expectant smile.

"...Why are you asking me this? It's useless information."

"No, it isn't!" Emma smiled, hearing the sound of kids playing in the background, eager to join them "If you don't say it, we might use flowers of a color you don't like, and that's no good. You should like your crown!"

Logic blinked very slowly at her logic "Black."

Oh it would be hard to find black leaves, much less black flowers. Maybe she could make them out of sticks… Yeah! Logic would look cool with a stick crown!

Emma smiled encouragingly at the quiet side still staring at her hand "What about you Depression?"

"...Blue and pink."

Emma lit up at his quiet answer, only to pause and frown. That was the colors she had suggested "...Are they really your favorite colors?"

"Yes"

"No," Logic denied, making Depression hold her hand tighter "He likes green and orange."

Oh

"...How do you even know that?" Depression voice got an aggressive edge to it.

"You can't look at it for long. "

"And why would that be worth remembering?" Depression hissed "Weren't you supposed to be careful when choosing memories?"

Logic narrowed his eyes, disliking the jab "Rich coming from someone so hung up over every single death-"

Empathy literally slapped Logic's mouth, catching both Emma and Norman off guard. They openly stared, waiting for an explanation and making Empathy sweat nervously "Can you two not fight? Please...?"

Logic rolled his eyes, grunting an affirmative.

"Don't stop it," Norman said. He tends to look at the sides with this palpable confusion but now his eyes were focused, ready to solve a puzzle "I want to hear what is bothering Depression"

Empathy clenched his first "No. No, you don't. It's stupid!"

Emma frowned, unsure how to deal with the panicked look Empathy send Logic.

"Ray has nightmares where everyone dies." Logic confessed with a disgruntled look, not in the mood to entertain Empathy "He can't let go of it, nor can he deal with it."

Empathy and Depression froze.

Emma frowned, swinging Depression hand and squeezing it tight. Sure these nightmares must scare him a lot. "You all have nightmares?"

Depression looked away, taking a while to slowly nod. Empathy was still frozen in place, nervous. 

“Are the nightmares bothering you Empathy?”

Empathy shifted uncomfortably, so Logic answered for him “Not anymore.”

Norman gave him a curious look.

“When Ray has a bad day or makes too many mistakes, Depression gets stronger. It’s hard to say what he’ll do, but usually, he spends his time making the nightmares worse.” Logic explained right away “Empathy used to be hit the hardest, it was detrimental for Ray as a whole, so I started limiting it.”

‘He made the nightmares worse?!’

Emma paused her swinging, caught off guard. Depression tensed up at her reaction, looking down. 

Emma gave her company a strange look. She doesn’t want Depression to be sad, still hating when the boy was in pain, but she doesn’t want him to hurt others either. Hurting others just because you feel bad is not good. Mama said so and Mama was the wisest person Emma know.

“You can limit it?” Norman asked, approaching Logic without making the happy side anxious.

Logic nods sharply. Proud.

“Logic isn’t affected by nightmares.” Empathy explained before the logical side could, intertwining his fingers with Norman's again “He just guards what’s important and protect me from the overly mean stuffs” He smiles at the logical side, melting his expression into something more cheerful once he noticed he got Emma’s and Norman’s full attention “Logic may not have been that good at protecting me at first. but now he and Hate are amazing! I barely notice nightmares.”

“Barely notices... So Ray got desensitized.” Norman commented. “I am not sure this is good.”

“It’s good,” Empathy and Logic said at the same time Depression said “It’s bad”

“Why?” Emma asked, her antenna bouncing with her conflict. She believes in the good of everyone but was unable to deny this worried her, noticing Depression wasn’t very nice with himself and his fellow sides but assuming it was the stress of the situation, never imagining he has been giving Ray nightmares for long enough to desensitize one of her best friends.

“Ray deserves it.” 

To have nightmares?

Emma felt anger flare inside her “No. He doesn’t. ” She held Depressions hand tighter, feeling bad when the boy tried to hide how tense her denial made him but fully believing in her words “Ray is amazing!”

Depression was intimidated by her confidence. Shrinking further when Norman nodded. "Indeed"

Emma let go of his hand, “You should apologize.”

The shrunken side actually looked at her, purple eye incredulous. “...What?”

“You hurt Empathy’s feelings.” Emma crossed her arms, trying to sound stern. “That’s not very nice.”

Empathy blushed “...It’s okay. I wasn’t hurt or anything.”

“You're scared of even coming close to Depression” Norman pointed out, having none of it.“You needed protection. Be it nightmares or any other factor, some of Depression's actions clearly hurt you.”

Logic just nodded.

“See? It hurt him.” Her gaze softened, giving Depression an encouraging look, hoping he could understand “You should apologize and do your best to make it better!”

“I don’t...I can’t…?” Depression talked slowly, furrowing his brown and looking at his feet when he got overwhelmed, “I don’t make things better..?” His breathing got weird, shrinking further into himself “That’s not how I work???”

Logic looked at her as if she was stupid. It was a familiar look. A very Ray look.

“...I am sorry” Depression mumbled when he noticed her troubled look. “I am sorry.”

She didn’t understand. “Empathy is the one you should apologize too. I am sure he’s doing his best.”

Empathy eyes sparkled when she acknowledged him. He was jumpy, weirdly so, but a good side, he shouldn’t be scared. Mama was always firm before reaching results, so Emma wouldn’t budge until Depression apologized either!

That’s what she told herself… But...

Depression seemed on the verge of a breakdown “I won’t apologize.”

“Why?” Emma tried, lost as to why such a simple action was so difficult “Did he hurt you too...?”

“I need to keep him quiet. I need to stop him.” He was getting histeric, clearly not hearing Emma's latest questions “Empathy is stupid. A burden! He needs to shut up!” He was glaring at the emotional side now “If no one is going to then I’ll do it! I’ll shut his useless mouth!"

Norman stepped in front of Empathy, glaring back “That’s enough.”

Depression shut up immediately. Taking a step back and looking down "Sorry." He took another wary step back "Won't happen again... I am sorry." The voice got too quiet to hear but they all knew he was mumbling apologies still.

“So unstable” Logic complained, “Can I knock him out?”

“No!” Emma yelled, firm “No one is knocking anyone out! I want to understand” She clenched her fists “I am sure you're not a bad person!" Depression froze "So why are you so aggressive to Ray? Why do you hate him?”

Depression refused to answer, not breaking under her gaze this time.

“Emma,” Norman said slowly “I want to help them as well but they aren’t a whole person. I don’t think they are able to go against their core characteristics…" He smiled apologetically "This approach won’t work.”

Emma bit her lip, wanting to slap some sense and hug the trembling ball of bad thoughts as tightly as possible again. Ignore Norman and try to coach an answer out of him, needing insight on why Depression harbored so much hate towards Ray, but reluctantly admitting it would be better to listen to Norman. He was very smart. She trusted his judgment.

They aren’t a whole person.

Core characteristics.

Emma frowned, still troubled by Depression but understanding he wouldn’t be very cooperative. He would have the most pessimistic and mean opinion on Ray.

She didn't want to hear anyone talk bad about her best friend, not in the mood to fight. So she marched towards Empathy, towards her best friend’s feelings “How do you feel?”

Logic and Depression froze. Empathy blinked, clearly surprised by the question. “...How I feel?”

Emma nodded, green eyes burning with determination “About the nightmares.”

“Well, I didn’t like them but I promise it didn't hurt. You don’t need to bother Depression with that.” He waved her concerns away with a cute little smile “It will only make him more unstable and that's not good for anyone.” 

“I am talking about you” Emma insisted, invading his personal space “How do you feel when Logic didn’t help you?”

“I felt bad…? But it wasn’t as bad as I made it out to be.” His smile turned a little awkward, still trying to change her focus “I have a tendency to exaggerate.” His tone grew reassuring "Don't worry about it Emma, we are nearly at the backyard. Let's go, we are close to the flower-"

“No." Emma put a firm hand on his shoulder, getting his eyes to widen ”We can do flower crowns later" Emma insisted, “Please tell me. I want to know everything.”

“It’s alright” Norman chuckled when Empathy took a wary step back “You can be honest with us.”

Empathy froze, biting his lips. He glanced awkwardly at a glaring Logic, then at Norman and Emma. Gulping at the kindness and determination in their eyes, quick to drop his smile "Are you sure...?"

Emma nodded. Determined.

He stared and stared. Opening and closing his mouth, giving everyone side looks and rubbing his arms, gathering up the courage to ignore the other sides' warning looks. Focus only on his best friends.

“...I was scared.” He admitted, wide, honest eyes making her protective instincts come to life “I don’t like to watch you two die. I don’t want you to die. I don’t want anything to happen to anyone... Much less you and Norman.” His voice got quieter “I think Depression is right some days. He’s loud.  So loud . And I like you two so much. I can’t lose you.”  His voice got thicker, losing it cheerful edge ” I know I am the most childish side. I don’t help Ray at all. But I want to help." His eyes shined, starting to get wet "I want Ray to be happy with you two by his side-” 

“That’s more than enough” Logic roughly pushed him by the back of his cardigan, forcing Empathy out of their hold. He hugged the emotional side tightly, cold green eyes glaring at Emma and Norman, ignoring how the emotional boy froze in the hold, rigid “I suppose I am the one at fault for never passing on the warning but don’t make Empathy emotional. Believe me. You do not want to deal with the resulting mess.”

Empathy stared blanky at his empty hands. Snapping out of it when Logic let him go “Oh... I nearly got emotional again didn’t I...?” His smile was more reserved than usual. Far more similar to Ray's “Sorry about that.” 

Emma was overwhelmed.

Logic may have acted as if the other was going mad but Emma was certain Empathy was just trying to be honest, share his worries. He wasn't hurting anyone or even trying to, he just love his friends. 

“I like you too.” Emma blurted out, smiling when Empathy's eyes got some of its spark back “You’ll never lose us.” Emma promised, “We stay forever by your side!”

Empathy jumped in her arms, giving her a big hug. Emma was startled but she gladly hugged him back, surprised by how much of a good hugger Empathy was. Embracing her with his all.

Logic clicked his tongue “What did I just say about making him emotional? You useless-”

“Me too” Norman calmly interrupted, smiling at Logic's incredulous look “I am slowly understanding the situation. And I do like you all.” He admitted, smiling softly at a startled Depression and giving Logic a meaningful look while he patted Empathy's back “All.”

Logic shut up. Blinking very slowly.

"Me too!" Emma smiled, feeling Empathy hug her tighter and snuggle her neck. She hugged him back just as tightly "I like you all. Lots and lots!"

Logic composed himself enough to glare at her.

Emma pouted. Having suspected at first but now certain that Logic was only a meanie with her.

Not fair!

Chapter Text

Norman had not been entirely honest when he said he loved every side. 

He worries, and he cares about them, quick to offer affection and reassurances when he notices it calms them down, but no matter how much Norman tried to rationalize the situation and adapt, he was not nearly as attached to these incomplete traits as he was to Ray.

He patted Empathy’s back slowly, still mostly focused on understanding the relationships of the sides with each other and how they functioned, silently studying their actions, feeling confident that what he had told Emma was the truth: These split boys don’t work as a complete person would, he doubted they could be properly taught anything.

And if he and Emma could, by some miracle, find a way to help change their core issues, what would happen? Would the sides change functions? Will they still be able to fuse back into Ray if their functions changed? If yes, would Ray change with his traits...? Would he even remember anything about his time split?

Norman unconsciously looked at Logic, sure he’s the one who would decide if Ray remembers everything or remains oblivious to it all, but not understanding the cold trait enough to make an accurate guess of his decision. He is the hardest to read out of the present sides, Norman doesn’t know the extent of his power either. Could Logic control the memory of the other sides?

Usually, he would assume Logic doesn't have that much power, but considering how his apathy affected Empathy’s feelings, it’s really hard to be sure. 

… All he knows of the logical side is that he’s either neutral or actively dislikes everyone except Norman and maybe Ray and Empathy - He still can’t tell if Logic pushes the emotional side to not express his feelings ever instead of only shielding him from nightmares because he confuses being emotional as being hurt or if emotions are 'too messy’ and therefore, something Logic don’t want deal with. 

He’s leaning towards the ‘too messy’ option. Already disregarding the idea of a side whose core traits involves Apathy and Logic to do it out of a genuine, albeit misguided, worry for Ray’s well being.

...Do any side genuinely care and love each other? Empathy seems to respect Logic but not as much as he loves him and Emma...

‘Please give us some self-love Ray’

“You two are impossible” Logic sighed, pinching his nose and trying to make his red cheeks cool down “Fine, if you love us so much you’re free to do whatever you desire,” He narrowed his eyes, mocking “but don’t expect me to do damage control, you’re in charge of any mess an emotional Empathy may causes.”

“Sorry” Empathy chuckled, giving Logic a sheepish glance but heavily leaning on Emma. Comfortable in her arms.

“No need to apologize!” Emma smiled, holding the side tighter “Are you feeling better?”

“I am… Thank you Emma.”  Empathy positively beamed, blushing a lovely shade of pink and squeezing Emma back, putting Logic and Depression on edge “We’ll be together forever! I promise Ray will do everything he can to make it happen!” He directed his warm look Norman’s way, so determined he wouldn’t be surprised if the side prohibited him and Emma from ever being adopted, attached to them like a koala  “No matter what. I’ll make sure he do it, I-”

”Stop.” Depression groaned, his voice sharper than usual “Just stop talking .”

Empathy tensed up, pushing Norman closer in a protective manner and giving Depression a wary look. Norman nearly stumbled, snuggled between both sunshine's embrace.

“Leave him alone.” Emma frowned, clearly having more to say but unsure how to word it. She bit her lips,  having learned she can’t teach Depression to be ‘nice’ or else he’ll get overwhelmed and break down again.

Norman doesn’t like seeing a side with Ray’s face cry in despair. 

He is sure Emma also wants to avoid more tears and broken apologies.

Unfortunately, her sparse words seemed to be enough to make Depression snap “I can’t!” He growled “Can’t you hear the trash he starts spewing if I leave him alone?!” he glared, overflowing with hate “Stop making promises you delusional baby!” He clenched his jaw, directing his glare to the ground the moment Emma blocked a hurt Empathy from view, sending him an unreadable look. The unstable side only seemed to grow more agitated by her actions, voice back to his hushed nature but still clearly distressed. 

Strangely, he didn’t shut and start apologizing, more focused on hurting Empathy than pleasing Emma “Didn’t she teach you anything ? You can try but everyone always dies . Your best is useless! You’re just a waste of space, No matter how h-”

“Shut up!” Empathy tried to cover their ear, clearly hurt “I don’t wanna hear it! This time it will be different, I may be useless but I am not alone!" His lips were trembling "Hate and Logic are helping me! We-” His eyes lost some of their determination, watery “We’ll stay together! Ray will save them!”

Die.

Save.

Those are peculiar word choices.

Emma's antenna seemed to lower at the jumbled information being thrown around, softening her whole demeanor at the empathetic trait pain “I believe you, Empathy. We are a trio, we will always be there for you!” 

She gave Norman a lost look, clearly upset about it all, silently asking for an explanation. For help.

Norman's heart clenched, unsure of how to help.

He wasn’t sure who ‘she’ is. Wasn’t even sure how seriously his reaction should be taken. It's hard to measure how believable the two sides are, Depression and Empathy are very emotionally charged traits. Clearly biased. But the way they acted was too desperate, too messy, to be just an overeaction to nightmares. 

Ever since they first mentioned nightmares as an explanation for their behavior, Norman felt something was off. Acutely aware that they never gave a reason for said nightmares, considering how frequent and heavy these bad dreams sounded, something in real life must have started it. Something must feed into it.

Norman looked at Logic, silently asking for help.

The green eyed side ignored him. Not going back on his words.

He recognizes the look in Logic's eyes. It's the same look Ray gets when he's intensely studying something. Testing it.

“Why would you believe him?” Depression mocked, the way he clenched his arms betraying his growing frustration “He’s nothing but a-”

“Stop!” Norman ordered, needing some order to think. He already got a good idea of Depression and Empathy's relationship, letting the two do as they please would only end in more arguments, a hurt Empathy, and an even more upset Emma “We can't do anything with you two constantly fighting.”

The sides went quiet, not used to him acting that serious.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have yelled," Empathy said quietly, cleaning his watery eyes.

"Sorry!" Depression startled, his frustration consumed by guilt and self-disgust "I'm sorry. It's my fault..." He curled into himself, hiding behind his fringe, changing priorities to not bother them again "I'll be quiet." 

He keep mumbling to himself, truly an unstable side. 

The silence felt heavy, even Logic was frowning.

Emma stared sadly at Depression, biting her lips hard enough to make them become paler but thankfully she resisted the urge to bother the depressive side, focusing on the sad Empathy.

“What was Depression talking about?” She asked very quietly, “Who’s ‘she’?”

“Susan…” Empathy said softly, his glossy eyes trembling "I had a dream Susan died..." His voice weakened, “It was….” his voice weakened, not relaxing when Emma cleaned his tears. If anything he just cried harder, his tears far messier than Depression's. “She j-just… I-” He started shaking, every broken hiccup unmistakenly pained. Truly a cry for help.

Norman felt his own empathy skyrocket at the hurt boy, having seen Ray cry far more than he would have liked today, but no matter how sad Empathy sounded, he wasn’t willing to buy this attempt to blame everything on nightmares anymore. 

“That’s not the whole truth.” Emma called him out very gently, cupping his puffy cheeks, her own eyes watering at his pain, "Please, tell us what's wrong I-" She bit her lips, "I'll do anything to help!"

“Did you read something bad?” Norman tried quietly, having genuinely no idea how to deal with his strong friend crying like a baby. He wonders if he should call Mama but was unwilling to leave Emma alone with two unstable sides and a very unhelpful Logic “Was someone mean to you..?”

“What made you have such a dream?” Emma pressed him. “Please, we just want to help!”

The three sides exchanged looks, making Norman only realize now Logic was keeping his hands on Depression's shoulder, likely using his apathy to keep him calm. He didn’t look very happy.

Empathy was clearly nervous, hiccuping “S-she, well Susa-”

“Ray wants it to be kept secret” Logic cut off whatever the emotional side was trying to share, done with just observing “He’ll tell you later.”

Norman frowned, not wanting to pry, but at the same time really wanting to pry. No matter how much he respects Ray, this is serious. Keeping it secret is clearly taking a toll on Empathy.

“Secret?” Emma frowned, incredulous.

"Yes, please respect his wishes and stop prying."

Emma clenched her fists, clearly hurt Ray didn't trust them with a problem so important, wanting to respect it but also needing to help, ignore his wishes and just learn what's wrong.

“...It's not like he doesn’t trust you two,” Empathy said gently, way too quick to ignore his own problems in favor of helping Emma. “I promise we will tell you just…" He sniffed, "Not now, things are messy as it is. I can't deny I am sad but... ” His lips shook, his breathing got elaborated as panic seemed to settle in. The crying side immediately clawed out of Emma's arms, stumbling out of their hold to grab onto Logic’s arm, sticking to his side like glue. 

Logic sighed, reluctantly letting Depression go and focusing on Empathy, visibly tired.

Forcing others to be more apathetic probably worn him down. It did work wonders however, the emotional side leaned heavily on his shoulder, visibly calming down. “Sorry…” Empathy sounded exhausted, snuggling his shoulder.

“Great... Now they’ll know for sure there is something wrong with Ray,” Depression laughed bitterly in the corner, his stress palpable after Logic stopped touching him, wrinkled sleeves somehow even more messy, likely not dealing well with the shift between feeling close to nothing and becoming the embodiment of bad feelings again “Smart move genius.”

“They knew something was wrong as soon as they saw you,” Logic eyes narrowed “They are not stupid. It's clear acknowledging and dropping the matter is the best option.”

“The best option you could come up with, I am sure there are a million better options, you self impo-”

“You should shut up.” Logic ordered. 

“No, you should! I am not scared of you, I can do whatever I want!” He snapped, trembling despite his words “Empathy is the one who wants to keep secrets. Is stupid how much you let him drag you around!”

Logic narrowed his eyes, holding on tighter to the sleepy Empathy “I don’t-” 

“Stop arguing!” Emma ordered, “You have been arguing since we met!”

Everyone shut up, even Norman stopped analyzing to fully pay attention to her.

“Why does he want to keep it secret?” Emma asked Depression, ignoring Logic's glare and getting closer to the collaborative side, hoping the fact she was his ‘favorite’ would give her an advantage.

Logic marched to her, gently slapping Emma's head and giving Depression a warning look.

“...Whatever” Depression growled, “Leave me alone!”

“I would if I could, but I have a ‘feeling’ Ray’s friends won’t let you mope in the dark”

“You bet we won’t!” Emma yelled, rubbing her head in frustration  “And stop being so mean to each other…” She clenched her fist, sounding so sad... It was a painful sight “You can have disagreements and not try to hurt each other's feeling.”

“It will be easier to communicate without fights. We are very confused as it is." Norman added, fully agreeing with Emma but doubting her words would magically lift the animosity between every side.  

“So are we. There is no logic to this situation” Logic sighed, staring at the way Empathy snuggled his shoulder with dead eyes “It's a nuisance”

“You don't make it easier.” Emma pointed out, shifting her gaze from Logic and the sleeping apathy, her eyes still a bit wet "You are also mean."

“More like a pain in the-”

Logic reluctantly put his hands on Depression again, holding back a flinch when they touched but successfully making him stop.

So he can calm two traits down...

“Fine, it wasn't my intention to be antagonistic. You two were the ones doing whatever you wanted.” Perpetually bored voice aside, Logic looked annoyed “I do recognize going in blind must be disorienting so…I’ll share my reasoning to keep it secret” Logic crossed his arms “I am sure you two already realized Ray's secret is what made his nightmares exist and Empathy cry. It’s something that makes his mental health rather… Unstable.” He narrowed his eyes “There is a big chance Depression will grow stronger if we share it, and without Hate to properly keep him in check, that would be dangerous for not only Empathy but me as well. It would be wiser to wait until we fuse back together before trying anything”

“I see...”

That truly could be a problem.

Out of all sides, Depression is the one he has a better grasp on how it works but no idea how to approach. If their core characteristics are the literal driving force of their existence, something each side cannot go against, Norman no longer knows what to do with Depression. 

Self-hate, guilt, suicidal thoughts… There is no way any of this helps Ray. The nightmares already gave base for how detrimental to Ray’s health the unstable side was, and Norman has a feeling they are barely touching the tip of the iceberg.

Indeed, if Depression was incapable of changing, he was a detriment. Even the books talking about depression called it a mental illness . Norman knows first hand that illnesses are bad, it always makes him feel iffy and weak, stupid and helpless. But this is no mere cold, a pill and a warm bed won’t be of much help. There is no efficient foolproof cure available for it.

It sounds like a nightmare.

If he doesn't have the medicine to help Ray, what can he do? Does he need to… Kill... Depression?

That sounds extreme.

He gave Depression a side glance, feeling weird when the stressed side with his friend’s face kept staring down, eyes watery. He is pretty sure he could not kill him, if it was the only solution available, maybe he would, for the sake of his best friend's mental health, for his happiness, but even then, the idea made his guts twist painfully.

What would even happen if Depression was gone? Was it possible to bring Ray back if a side dies? Can they even die by physical means..? If yes, would Ray's Depression disappear just like that? Or would he be reborn as soon as Ray has a bad thought? Maybe pass all its negative traits to the remaining sides...?

Norman inwardly sighed, having too little information on how this worked.

“Logic, can I ask you a few questions?” He smiled, a bit tired “Don’t worry I promise it has nothing to do with Ray's secret.”

He’ll piece the secret with Emma later, no need to stress everybody.

“Of course,” Logic agreed with a spark in his eyes, likely preferring a questionnaire over arguments too.

“Can you control Empathy and Depression’s memories?”

“No, I cannot.” He answered, “I am not the personification of memories, I am merely the one in charge of guarding them and selecting what Ray must keep in mind. While I can erase Ray’s memories, the feelings that came with said memories are extremely hard to control.” 

“The feelings...?” Emma mumbled, bright eyes still wet, shining with curiosity.

“Indeed” He deadpanned “If I were to delete a memory Empathy is fond of, Ray would not remember what happen, his mind would be a blank page, but since Empathy would hold the memory close to his heart, Ray would still feel the same fondness when thinking about this blank page.”

“But he never deletes it!” Empathy smiled. If it wasn’t for his still drying tear tracks and his puffy eyes, it would be as if he never bawled his eyes out “He is so sweet. When I am sad, Logic helps me remember with great details the good days,” 

“I cannot do that if Ray is having a depressive day or gets blinded by rage” Logic answered before Norman voiced his question “You could say too many emotion makes me weaker.”

“Hence Apathy,” Norman said to himself, interested but also very worried by every information he got, the image of Empathy broken sobs still fresh in his mind.