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Natsuo Todoroki has never been interesting. He’s never been as strong headed as his older siblings. He wasn't anything special, not the oldest or even the second oldest. Not the baby of the family (not that any of them had ever had the luxury of being children, not with Endeavor as their father). He was just the middle child nothing exceptional so it's no surprise when others forget his existence.
And if Natsuo is honest he's okay with just being a bystander.
(he’s not)
* * *
When Natsuo is four his quirk manifest in the form of slush ice sprouting from his chubby finger tips. Nothing entirely special, nothing like Fuyumi’s ice, cold enough to burn. Or like Touya’s blue flames (hot enough to burn his own skin).
But it brings a smile to his mother pale face.Its the first time Natsuo has seen his mother grin. He decides he wants her to always smile like that. To smile like she doesn't have a care in the world. His mom tugs him into her arms and calls over his siblings. For a moment all is perfect as he tries to make ice sculptures in his hands and Touya playfully melts his artworks. Natsuo runs around the garden his body chilled by a gentle coat of frost and he turns to look at his mom.
His mom whose smile has faded, a look of pain, sadness and relief mixed into her eyes. In that moment he realizes his quirk is not enough. Not enough to quell the beast that he called father. So it’s no surprise when his father comes home only to raise a brow at Natsuo’s pathetic snow covering the garden. Endeavor merely leers at Natsuo as he quickly rushes over to his wife and wraps his hand around her small wrist as he pulls her away.
And like always ,regardless of his new found quirk, Natsuo is powerless to stop him.
* * *
Natsuo is quick to notice just how wrong his family is. He goes to school and he realizes just how bright the other students are. Sees how open they are to touch one another. how they give out hugs without a second thought. How they shout without fear of repercussions.
At the age of 5 Natsuo begins to realize just how strange his family is. He doesn't quite understand why, still too young to comprehend exactly what is going on. But Natsuo understands enough to know that his mother shouldnt flitch when the door slams open. Shouldn't cower at the sight of his father, at the sound of his voice. Knows that Touya shouldn't cry everytime he is pulled into a ‘training session’ with his father. He knows Fuyumi shouldn't have to ice her twins wounds as Touya quietly whispers soothing words to the weeping girl. He doesn't know why but he knows its wrong.
So when his father strikes his heavily pregnant mom when she begs him to stop Touya’s training, when she tries to make him see the burns that begin to scar Touya’s skin, Natsuo just watches shocked. He freezes as his mother is brought to her knees, as his father looms over her screaming. Demanding she “stop babying Touya”Touya who is only nine. Touya who bursts through the door and stands between his mother and his father. Backed by a quiet Fuyumi who quickly rushes to her mother's side ice building in her hands as she tries to soothe the now blooming bruise on their mothers check.
His father scoffs at Touyas fire and walks away from the scene, footsteps heavy as they thud on the wooden floor. Quickly Touya redirects his attention to their mother helping Fuyumi bring her to her feet. The twins shuffle their sobbing mother out of the room.
Natsuo remains in the corner forgotten.
* * *
When Natsuo’s little brother is born his mother weeps tears of sadness. Although she tries to hide her pain Natsuo can see the regret in her eyes. For a split second Natsuo doesn't understand why. Until he sees his newest brothers hair. A few strands sprouting from under his newborn cap. A red and white coloring. Natsuo feels his heart plummet into his stomach. As his older siblings rush past him and eagerly greet the newest member of the family.
He quietly sits in the tough plastic chairs and smiles pitifully as his brother and sister take in Shouto’s hair color. They are quick to say encouraging words. Things like “it's just a hair color, it says nothing about his quirk” or “it might not be that strong” quiet words that instill hope in his chest. Its hours later that his father even bothers to show up.
Quickly the room stills as their father arches up to the bundle his mother clutches tightly to her chest. He peers down at the pink baby and grins. His smile is too wide, all teeth and no warmth. He looks his wife in the eye and comments “well you might have done something right finally” and then storms out of the room. His mom pulls his siblings in to her warm embrace and sobs quiet “im sorry”s into their skin.
Natsuo stays in the plastic chair
* * *
Shouto’s quirk appears when he is just three, he sobs into their mothers skirt as he begs her to unfreeze the small koi pond they have in their backyard. Touya ever the hero volunteers. His small hands already on the ice even as their mom reminds him just how harmful his quirk can be. “Don't worry” he assures her “ive gotten better” Touya says as he slowly releases the kpoi from their icy prison. Touya calls over a still crying Shouto trying to assure the small child that no he did not “hurt the fishies” Shouto giggles as the fish spring back to life.
Natsuo watches the way his mom’s shoulders slump with relief as Shouto builds frost on his fingers. He watches as her eyes fill with resignation. He says nothing when his father comes home to find the backyard covered in snow. Natsuo doesn’t protest when Fuyumi takes the blame, knows their father will brush them off like always. Natsuo doesn’t voice his opinion as his older siblings quietly talk amongst themselves just how glad they are that Shouto “only has an ice quirk”. Natsuo sits quietly on the floor and says nothing as he watches his little brother make snow in his hands. His eyes caught on Shoutos left side. Natsuo knows that this is not the end.
When Shouto is four the full potential of his quirk is revealed when their father pushes Touya to his limit leaving the now 12 year old on the floor screaming as his own fire melts his skin. Natsuo who had been passing by hand in hand with Shouto. Shouto screeches at the sight of his brother keening on the floor and rushes into the training room before Natsuo can stop him. It's almost comical seeing a four year old stand try to stand down Endeavor the now number 2 pro-hero. It would be hilarious if Natsuo didn't know just how much danger Shouto was in. it only gets worse when ice springs from under Shoutos right foot and fire roars on his left shoulder. This makes their father freeze before he grins full attention now on Shouto. His father's hand quickly wraps around little Shoutos wrist and tugged him further into the training room.
Natsuo finally unfreezes from his spot in the doorway and rushes to shot, his own small hand gripping Shoutos trying to stop his father from taking him. His father scowls and before Natsuo can even open his mouth to argue a fist slams him to the floor leaving spots in his vision. He briefly realizes he’s being tugges towards the doorway before he blinks and he’s suddenly in the hallway. Touya is soon tossed out as well. Touya quickly gets up and begins to pound on the now locked door. He shouts at their father to please give back Shouto. Touya begs their father to leave the youngest of them alone. Begs his father to “please, stop!”
Natsuo says nothing as he quietly sobs against the door.
* * *
Things change after that. Shouto is no longer allowed to play with them. Natsuo rarely ever gets even a glimpse of his younger brother. Shoutos room moves closer to the training room. Somedays Natsuo can hear Shouto scream from across the room. On those days he knows his mom will sneak into Shoutos room to ice his bruises. Pretends to sleep as his mother quietly peeks into his bedroom on her way to Shoutos room.
So when Natsuo hears Shouto’s scream of pain echoed by their mother’s anguished cries he runs towards the sound fearing the worst. As he makes his way to the kitchen’s 2nd entrance Natsuo thinks of the worst situations. His father finding their mom in the door, Shouto and his mom not covered in burns from his father's fire. He thinks maybe a villain has gotten past the gate and is now attacking his family.
Nothing prepares him from the scene in front of him. His mother’s shaking form stands behind Touya as he stares down their father screaming “dont touch her!” at the top of his lungs hands wrapped in blue fire. His father standing at the etrance shouting how “this stupid woman had ruined his masterpiece”. Natsuo doesn't understand until he turns to see Fuyumi begging Shouto. “please, let me see it” she says through sobs. Shouto who is whimpering as he presses his hands into his left eye. Bewildered Natsuo takes a few steps towards his younger brother before he spots his father begin to lunge at his mother. He turn to jump in front of the incoming blow but Touya is quick to react. The blue flames spread over his body and soon he too begins to scream. Whether its in pain or anger Natsuo will forever be unsure as the flames begin to burn his brothers skin. Their mother prometly passes out.
Natsuo chokes on his words as Shouto tells him the events that unfolded just moments ago through body wracking sobs. Natsuo holds his hand as Fuyumi calls 119
(Natsuo stays behind to mop up the now cooling water. He throws away the tea kettle)
* * *
His mother is committed to a mental hospital. Natsuo feels so utterly lost. His mother absence leaves a whole in their life. The house is suddenly cold no matter how many heaters where turned on.
Natsuo watches as he sees his sister retreat into herself. Watches as she tries to fill the space their mother left. Fuyumi begins to cook and clean . She's the one who now sneaks into Shoutos room to ice his bruises. The one to softly hold Shouto as he sobs into her shirt. Natsuo watches as her eyes begin to hold the same sadness their mother’s carried. Fuyumi‘s shoulders slump as her smile becomes non existent. Natsuo stands by as he watches his sister try to hold their family together.
Natsuo silently bandages Touya’s burns, he most definitely needs to go to the hospital but Touya adamantly refuses. Natsuo is silent as he slowly watches his brothers grief for their mother turn into anger. Watches as anger turns into blind rage. Suddenly Touya is blaming Shouto for everything. For their mothers sudden mental breakdown. For their fathers anger and need for a succuser. “You should have never been born” Touya screams one day when Shouto tries to ice his burns. That night Touya packs his bags and marches out of the house. Natsuo watches his oldest brother slip past the gate, bandages still in place.
Shouto changes, becomes silent now that there is no one to defend him from Endeavor’s wrath. He's quiet as the “training” continues. Smothers his own cries as Natsuo bandages open wounds and spreads aloe onto burnt skin. Some nights Shouto can't stifle his sobbing and his cries echo through the house haunting Natsuo who lays awake. On those nights when Endeavor isn't home, Natsuo will sing. Loud enough to carry through the house, so his brother will know he's not alone. He’ll sing simple songs like “You are my sunshine”. Sometimes it's a wordless tune. On those nights his brothers weeping stops soon after. No one mentions it in the morning.
Natsuo changes too, he no longer spends time with his siblings, avoids being in the house for as long as he can. He stays out with friends, loiters at parks long after the sun has set. He throws himself into his school work. Works himself to the bone. He quietly learns how to cook his own breakfast, pack his own lunch, do his own laundry. The one thing that remains the same is Natsuo’s quietness. If anything it gets worse. His steps become silent. His voice a soft whisper. Often times he’ll sneak up on his sister. Once on his father, but that had been an accident, the resulting burn on his arm however, had not.
(Natsuo watches his family fall apart from the distance.)
* * *
As soon as Natsuo can he moves out, rents a one bedroom apartment with what little money he has saved over the years. Determined to not need his father's money he applies for as many scholarships as he can and works 2 part-time jobs to put himself through college. He begins to study how to be a doctor tired of watching people burn or break bones only to stand by helplessly.
When Shouto gets into U.A Natsuo receives a text from Fuyumi simply saying “He got in”. Natsuo freezes in his studies. He doesn't know much about his 15 year old brother. Doesn't know his favorite color or favorite food. He sits back in his seat and thinks.
Tries to remember the last time he saw his brother smile, remembers the last time he saw Touya and all the rage his eyes had held. Remembers his sister’s smile as she made dinner. Finally he tries to remember his mom. The way her white hair had shimmered in the sun, her eyes always tired. Natsuo tries to remember her hugs. Tries to remember the warmth and safety her embrace has always held, and finds he has forgotten the feeling.
Natsuo’s eyes water, the tears never fall down his face. Instead he carefully picks up the keys to his shitty car and asks Fuyumi for their mothers address.
When Natsuo finally sees his mother she is so different and yet the same. Her hair still shines in the little sunlight that slips through the curtains. Her eyes seem brighter no longer carrying so much sadness. That's not to say her smile is still unstrained on that she flinches when the nurse knocks to loudly on the door. But it's enough to bring hope into Natsuos heart.
“Hello Natsuo” she whispers as he sits down across from her. He smiles and tries to mend what was ripped so long ago.
(When she asks about Shouto or Touya, Natsuo doesn’t know how to respond)
* * *
Natsuo watches Endeavor fight the man with blue fire and feels sick at the satisfaction he feels when his father is brought to his knees. He wants this fight to end if only so he’ll stop feeling this way. He breathes a sigh of relief when his father is carted away on a stretcher but for all the wrong reasons.
Later Endeavor sends him an invitation begging him to come over to the house. Natsuo begrudgingly complies. He steps into the house that held so much pain and regret and immently knows this is a mistake. He spots Shouto and Fuyumi already eating and he feels out of place. Doesn't know how to greet either of them. So instead he plasters on a wide smile and pretends he isn't uncomfortable. Hes managed to start some polite conversation when the air grows hotter.
Endeavor's loud footsteps echo through the house as he makes his way to where they are. Natsuo feels his heart burn with anger as he spots the scar on Endeavors face. He silently wishes the damage had been greater. He seethes as his father begins his little speech. He listens and finally he snaps.
Natsuo feels the burning rage he had once seen in Touya’s eyes bubble in his chest. Feels the words he had always swallow down spill from his lips like a faucet. He yells about the pain this man he calls “father” has caused them. Yells his frustrations of not even knowing his own family that well. He screams about Touya and the way he burned. The way Endeavor let him.
When Endeavor says he's working to “atone for his past” Natsuo scoffs. He doesn't believe for a second this man will ever change. Knows he had to often hoped only to be let down. He’s tired of empty promises.
Later Shouto send him a small text, it’s a simple “hello” but it's enough. A tentative branch that will hopefully turn into a bridge.
(Shouto’s favorite color is green, and he loves cold soba)
* * *
Natsuo is working on his thesis when it happens. The cooking show he had on for background noise suddenly cuts. Breaking news fills the screen in bold letters catching his attention. He looks up only to feel his heart stutter.
Often times people would comment on how similar he looked to his father. Natsuo would spend hours in front of a mirror trying to see which part was his dad and which part was his mothers but could never seem to tell the difference. Natsuo could never really see resemblings in faces. To busy keeping his eyes downcast to really pay attention to the way someone's nose curved or the shape of someone’s eyes. But now as he watched the blue fire shoot from the villain shands and shoot towards Shouto, Natsuo can see the Endeavor in dabi.
Unmistakable in Dabi’s cold blue eyes that hold the same rage Endeavors held. His eyes slanted in the same way their mothers was. HIs smile too wide and holding no warmth. Natsuo knows that the undeniable truth stands before him. Touya todoroki is dabi. His brother a villain who is now trying to kill their baby brother on live tv.
Taking note of the street the fight is occurring on Natsuo jumps to his feet. It's not to far from where he lives. He runs suddenly glad he didn't take off his shoes or jacket. Natsuo runs like hell itself is at his heels. He fears the worst as he turns the corner where the fight is held. Policemen hold a line and urged bystanders to leave the area. But Natsuo is down being a bystander. Done standing by and watching. He runs past the police he yells at him to stop.
Natsuo reaches them just as Dabi (Touya) sends a hot blast of blue fire that makes Shouto’s ice barrier explodes and knocks his out. Natsuo Slips between them ice building under his feet to stop the oncoming attack
“STOP IT, TOUYA!” Natsuo shouts as he stands between Shouto and his older brother. The sight of him makes Touya stumble back, his face slips into shock before it returns into a snarl “What are you doing?!” Touya says through gritted teeth not even denying his identity “What am I doing?! What the fuck are you doing?!” Natsuo screams back still in a fighting stance “Your hurting Shouto!” he continues panting from the run he was just on.
“He deserves this!” Touya shouts taking a step closer “this will hurt that bastard” he spits out and Natsuo knows he’s talking about Endeavor “Your going to kill Shouto just to get back at him?” Natsuo says breathless “How stupid can you be” Natsuos ice begins to grow sharper turningf into spikes Touya growls as he takes another step foward “what does it matter he’s just like him. Just like Endeavor”
Natsuo feels his body freeze and in a cold voice he hears himself say “no Touya, If anything” he pauses his hands balled into fists “Your just like him,” he finishes. Touya steps back like Natsuo has physically wounded him before he lunges at him.
Natsuo send wave after wave of ice trying to ward off Touya blast of fires. But Natsuos ice has never been anything too strong. His ice melts under Touya’s blazing heat sending steam onto his open palms. By now Natsuo is shaking from hyperthermia and excursion but he refuses to back down. To let anyone hurt his little brother again. His ice is beginning to melt faster Natsuo no longer holding the energy to make it as cold as before.
Touya sends a ball of fire that knocks Natsuo onto his knees, not noticing Touya sends another attack. Natsuo doesn't have the time to defend so instead he turns his back and gathers his brothers small body into his arms. The fire burns his back and Natsuo screams. He holds tight to his brother’s form, eyes watering with pain. He braces for another attack and when it doesnt come he twists his neck to look at Touya. For a moment its not Touya standing before him but his dad, Natsuo quickly blinks away this illusion and focuses on his brothers stiff form. This time Touya freezes in his spot for good his eyes meet his brothers and Touya sees what Natsuo saw so many years ago. He sees the burning rage in Natsuo’s cool grey eyes, the determination in his clenched teeth and the sorrow in his gathering tears. Touya sees his own reflection in his brothers ice and sees just how much like Endeavor he looks like.
Touya turns and flees just before the pro-heros show up. Natsuo leans over his brothers pale face and sobs. When the heros arrive they chastise Natsuo for his unauthorized use of a quirk as they loaded him into the ambulance. Shouto lies still on the stretcher but Natsuo knows it's nothing to bad. He ignores their words as he focuses on his baby brother.
(Because finally Natsuo has taken action and he doesn't dare regret it.)
(Fuyumi does slap him for acting so foolishly once she reaches his hospital but that's neither here nor there)