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“But when I’m with you, don’t make a face as if you’re about to cry all by yourself.”
They stay there, sitting still. Ristuka's fingers dig down, clutching onto the soft fabric of Mafuyu's shirt. He’s never really been good at expressing his feelings, translating them into words and putting himself out there. But he hopes just that was enough for Mafuyu to understand what he’s thinking, what he’s been aching to say, or at least just a bit of it. He has trouble grasping it himself, isn’t sure what to think, how to act.
It’s all so new to him.
All he knows is that that look in Mafuyu's eyes cuts him deep every single time, and that he wants to take every last bit of his pain away.
Touch him, hold him close.
Only his own erratic heartbeat and Mafuyu's soft breaths can be heard in the silent room. Their surroundings illuminated by nothing but the moonlight’s glow peeking through the window, casting shadows on their intertwined figures. Ritsuka digs his nose in the crook of Mafuyu's neck, breathing in the scent that effortlessly soothes his soul. Just like that time he visited when Mafuyu was sick, it overwhelms him, bleeds into every part of his system.
Mafuyu smells like home.
“I’m here,” Ritsuka whispers against his shoulder.
He wants to say more, but the words are stuck in his throat. Instead, he squeezes a little harder, until there’s close to no space between their bodies. Hoping it speaks for itself, this choking proximity that leaves him breathless, sparks fire within his veins. Entire body enveloped by Mafuyu's warmth, the strain in his muscles slowly starts to dissipate, leaving nothing but a pleasant buzz.
And then both their bodies start to shift, haltingly lowering until they’re both lying on the mattress. Ristuka's fingers are still curled around Mafuyu's shirt, not wanting to let go. He presses his forehead against Mafuyu's chest and feels his arms wrap around him, just as tight as his own grip. Ritsuka is sure he’s never felt so comfortable, at peace. He wants to stay like that forever, freeze this moment in time and bask in the serene quiet, in Mafuyu's warming presence.
He lifts his head a little and leaves a single, timid kiss on a patch of exposed skin over the collar of Mafuyu's shirt. Being so close is still a tad nerve-wracking, no matter all the times where they shared the same breaths, hands venturing below fabric. He’s not sure he could ever get used to the flames that lick up his chest whenever Mafuyu just barely grazes him, when their skin meets and his entire body feels like it’s turned to molten mush. Skin covered in goosebumps, cheeks flushing a deep shade of red just at the thought of delving into all that Mafuyu is.
Ritsuka closes his eyes, the familiar weight of slumber settling in his limbs. Just before drifting off, he feels Mafuyu kiss the top of his head.
“I’m here, too.”