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The cool mountain breeze felt like home flowing through Rin’s hair, her bun fell ever-so-slightly out of place. She stood far above a sparkling lake that glimmered under the morning sun, the scent of reborn zelkovas lingering all the way up. Early spring is the best time for a solo camper, if you ask her. Chilly, sure, but she’s used to much worse during the winter season. Dissipating snow means she can get out much more often, and that’s what really mattered. And thankfully for a lone-wolf like herself, it was early enough in the season that only diehards were out -- plenty of open space to enjoy alone.
Alone, huh? She stared at the clock on her phone -- seven-thirty in the morning. Too early for a sleepyhead like Nadeshiko to be awake yet. Her frigid fingers tapped against the screen to open LINE, though it took a few tries for her touch to register. [I’ve arrived,] she typed in. She slid her finger over the camera icon, making sure to set it into selfie mode. The image of her face appeared, poncho wrapped around her neck, almost burying her chin along with. She fixed her bun and raised her phone, tilting it down toward the lake. Click -- snap! Looks good, she thought, though her backpack snuck in behind her head and blocked out part of it. Hopefully her girlfriend will enjoy the view. Girlfriend? Hah, still felt funny to be so direct, so official. It made her heart feel all fuzzy, her face feel all warm, and she could hardly resist that giddy sensation running through her body, tempting her to jump and shout about the one she loves. That girl really was rubbing off on her. She wanted to invite her along, but the timing just didn’t work out.
Brisk morning air filled her breath, forming tiny clouds from her mouth as she marched onward toward her ideal site for today. It was at the big group trip near the end of last year. Ena and the others were still fast asleep, and she had wandered out of her tent to watch the sunrise. To her surprise, Nadeshiko was already up; though her tired eyes and constant yawning showed she was on the losing side of the battle against sleep. Rin squeezed Nadeshiko’s face between her palms to keep her together. She expected the response to be a goofy facial expression and a playful whine of “Rin, stooop...” But as the sunlight rose from behind Nadeshiko’s coral hair and illuminated her adorably stupid half-open eyes, Rin’s heart stood still. No way. Had she truly fallen for this passionate dim-wit? Ridiculous and hyperactive as she was, there was something so charming inside of her. And when said dim-wit thoughtlessly mumbled “I love you…” beneath the dawn all of a sudden, well, all those emotions spilled all over as her heart completely melted.
A nice spot in the open grass with enough trees nearby to find reliable extra firewood without too much trouble, just in case. Perfect. She went through the setup motions -- it was second-nature by now. Tarp down first, make sure it’s nice and evened out. Body next, slide the metal poles together and tie the mat to the base. As she slid one pole into another, she heard her phone buzz three times in a row. Ah, she’s awake. While she hung the rainfly overhead and knocked the sakes into place, she couldn’t help but long for Nadeshiko’s company. Pitching the tent probably would’ve taken longer with her around, but there was another kind of joy in sharing those moments. How odd, even an experienced solo camper who loved the quiet of a far-off mountain could feel like this? They’d be a bit squeezed in, but she was sure they could both fit together inside the tent’s shelter.
She opened her phone again. Almost nine already. Three notifications from Nadeshiko.
[Nadeshiko: wow!!]
[Nadeshiko: wish i was there!!!]
The third message was a half-asleep selfie. She wore her striped yellow pajamas and a groggy smile against the backdrop of an unlit bedroom. Cute. Dopey. Adorable. Rin’s lips curved into an honest smile. [Better set your alarm next time.]
[Nadeshiko: bully...]
Another buzz, another selfie. This time it was a pouting face relocated to the kitchen, breadcrumbs caught below her lips. Rin covered her mouth to hold back laughter. Did Nadeshiko even realize how endearing this was? The chance to share their daily lives even while apart tugged at Rin’s heartstrings, and she couldn’t hide the absurd smile stuck between her cheeks everytime she got a new photo. And in the next instant, another one popped up. A kissy face. Blood rushed to her cheeks and her heartbeat went off-pace. Hahh, at this rate she wouldn’t even need firewood -- her girlfriend’s selfies kept her warm and cozy on their own.
Relaxing in solitude, the day passed with ease. Rin took the quiet time to read through another mystery novel and enjoy the scenery. She kept Nadeshiko updated in exchange for more selfies. Sometimes she sent her own selfies back, but not too many. She didn’t know how else to say ‘I miss you’ without coming off as too needy, and she was admittedly a little camera-shy herself. Maybe Nadeshiko loved Rin’s selfies just as much, but she was still getting used to this kind of attention.
Dusk set in and the mountain camp-site cooled down. She was thankful; it was just barely warm enough that she wouldn’t need to start a campfire. The flame’s warmth against her skin was always soothing, but actually getting it going took a little more effort than she was willing to put in tonight. She chugged from her soup cantine and awaited the water on her gas-lit stove to boil, hovering her hands above for a little extra heat from its steamy radiance. Her instant noodles lacked flavor, but the years of camping taught her to appreciate even these tasteless meals.
Another buzz.
[Nadeshiko: now now rin, don’t stay up too late]
She glanced at the clock -- nine in the evening. She never seems to get tired of the granny bit, does she? Hopeless. [You’re one to talk,] she replied.
[Nadeshiko: hmph]
She could imagine the pouty face Nadeshiko made as she sent that. Giggling to herself with one thumb on the button, she snapped a picture of her open noodle cup. Didn’t try to make it look appealing or anything, but she knew Nadeshiko would scarf it down either way. [Want some?] she captioned it.
[Nadeshiko: yes please!]
Rin pulled out a clump of noodles, holding her chopsticks out to imagine feeding Nadeshiko. She would’ve slurped them up in a heartbeat and cheered, sparkly eyes and all. Rin would’ve wondered how the other girl enjoyed it so much, but would’ve shrugged it off as just being another one of her oddball girlfriend’s quirks. And remembering she was out there alone, something suddenly felt missing. She sighed, dejected.
Now with her belly full and her pot as clean as she could leave it, she crawled into the tent and lay atop her sleeping bag. Cozy. She kept the mesh open to stare into the sky. Half moon out tonight, and not too cloudy. She buried her face into her novel until that longing in her heart distracted her from the words on the page. Her phone buzzed again, and the time was almost eleven.
[Nadeshiko: night night]
Already? [Wait.] How embarrassing to feel this way. Some solo camper she was, getting all needy, wanting to beg another girl to sing her a bedtime lullaby from kilometers away. She hesitated, but in a flurry of unfamiliar desires, found herself tapping the call icon. It rang. Nothing. Another ring. Come on, please pick up.
“Rin? What’s up?” Nadeshiko’s voice was just audible enough -- a little muffled, low-quality, but she couldn’t expect much better with the service up here.
“Uh, I…” The words threatened to fall from her tongue, but she couldn’t bring herself to say something as cheesy as ‘I just wanted to hear your voice’ . Absolutely not, no way. “I miss you,” she confessed.
A soft and sleepy giggled came from the other end. “I miss you too!” Ahh, how she needed this. Nadeshiko’s adorable little laugh, her excitement even before passing out was a mystery Rin couldn’t get enough of. If only she’d been able to come along.
“And I wanted to say goodnight. And that I love you, Nadeshiko.” She was never afraid of danger outdoors, but the feeling of parting ‘til morning was enough to worry her. What if she doesn’t wake up again? Unlikely, but not impossible. “The touch of your fingers on my cheeks would do wonders right now,” she thought.
“Aww, I love you too.” Even an idiot like Nadeshiko could tell when Rin was embarrassed. And she’d always acted so caring, so forgiving and so courteous even when Rin got stubborn. That girl's loving nature somehow hit weak-points Rin didn’t even realize she had. “Goodnight!”
“Next time, we’ll come up here together.”
Nadeshiko seemed to have run out of steam already, remaining silent. Rin let the call keep going for just a few more minutes before deciding to let her beloved rest. She should get some shut-eye, too. She looked to the stars and thought about how nice it would be to share this sky together again. Then turned to her phone and scrolled up through all of her beloved’s selfies from today. “I want to be with her.” She stuffed her legs and body into the sleeping bag and let herself drift into it, satisfied by a relaxing, albeit lonesome, day of camping. And as her consciousness faded into dreams, she imagined Nadeshiko’s warmth beside her, their arms tangled together in one sleeping bag. A goodnight kiss and the sound of soft breaths would set her heart at ease. She was so far away, yet right there next to her. Jeez, she really was hopelessly in love.