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“They shouldn’t talk to you like that.”
Loki huffed and flipped through one of his tomes. He turned his head and raised a brow at the other Aesir. “Like what, Anthony?”
“You know damn well like what,” Anthony hissed. “You’re still a prince. Just because they’re friends with Thor….” He exhaled loudly, crossing his arms in front of his chest for a minute before throwing them wide open again. “I’m friends with you, and you don’t see me insulting Prince Thor like that!”
Loki turned his head back to his book, feigning interest in order to hide the flush that came to his cheeks and the small smile pulling at his face. He made a quick comment to throw Anthony off. “Oh, I don’t? Hmm…”
Anthony groaned. “Okay, fine, but I’ve been getting better about it!”
“Better,” Loki teased, giving the other man a quick glance. Anthony stuck his tongue out at him and turned to his own books. Loki watched him for a moment, just smiling and enjoying his company. In truth, hearing Anthony openly talk about being Loki’s friend made the prince happier than he could put into words. So few would.
Anthony was, truthfully, Loki’s only friend in all of Asgard. He refused to count Thor or his mother. Family did not count. Anthony, who chose him above all others, counted. Thor had offered friendship to him on numerous occasions and he turned the prince down every time. Loki was finally getting used to it. His heart no longer leapt into his throat when Thor asked Anthony to accompany him on a hunt or to spar. He finally had a friend that was loyal. That wanted him and not a chance to get closer to Thor through him. He cherished their friendship more than he could ever say.
But, it was because he cherished what they had that Loki never asked for more. Though his heart ached for the other Aesir, he never voiced his desires. The fear of losing his only friend was stronger than his want for affection. While he absolutely would prefer embraces and kisses over teasing and nudges to his shoulder, he would take those any day over having nothing. He loved Anthony. That much he knew. But he would never tell him. Not if it meant losing him.
The focus of his affections letting out a loud, obnoxious groan pulled Loki from his own thoughts. Raising his gaze, he smirked at the sight of his friend. Book covering his face, arms hanging loose at his sides, and slumped so far in his chair that his knees touched the top of his desk.
Chuckling, Loki slipped a bookmark into his tome. “Something wrong, Anthony?” He couldn’t keep his smile out of his voice. Even to his own ears he sounded soft.
Not moving the book from his face, his friend groaned. “I’m bored, Loki!” He whined and turned his head toward the prince, letting the book fall to the floor.
“We’ve hardly been reading for more than half an hour,” Loki said, setting his book aside now and moving away from his desk. He walked slowly to his friend’s side. Grinning down at him, he asked, “Surely you can handle sitting still a little longer?”
Anthony whined once more. “You’re not even reading anymore! Can’t we go somewhere?” He gave Loki his best puppy dog eyes and let his lower lip tremble furiously. “You promised we would go to Alfheim this summer, Loki!”
Loki laughed at his antics, reaching forward to poke his lip. Anthony mock-bit his finger for it and Loki laughed again. Humming, he finally said, “Yes, I did promise that, didn’t I?”
Anthony finally sat up a little. “You did!” He shouted. “And summer will be over in a few days! If we don’t go soon, we’ll miss our chance!”
“Oh dear,” Loki put a hand to his cheek in mock surprise. “Well, we can’t have that!”
Scoffing, Anthony shoved at Loki’s stomach. “Ha-ha, very funny.” He smiled up at him. “Come on, Loki! Alfheim is always beautiful this time of year!”
Loki didn’t argue with him. He teased him a bit longer, but didn’t argue. It took them one quick trip to let Frigga know where they would be and how long, a stop to Loki’s rooms to grab a few supplies and coins, and a jump to Anthony’s forge before they were taking the Bifrost to the realm of the elves.
Alfheim was one of Loki’s favorite places to be. So much magic being used freely. So much art decorating every building. So few shouting warriors in the streets, giving him migraines and never letting him have peace. It was so unlike Asgard and it was perfect.
Looking to his friend, the prince asked, “So- where to first?” And with that, Anthony proceeded to drag him across towns and villages and into any shop that looked interesting. They spent the entire day spending the money Loki had brought and trading stories with the Elves running the many bookshops and libraries on the realm. By the time night fell, Loki had transported so many of their purchases to his pocket dimension that he was exhausted.
They made their way to an inn and happily took their key up to their room. Things were great right up until they opened the door.
“Oh.”
There was only one bed in the room. It looked like it would fit both of them on it, but this was uncharted territory for them. Anthony had only ever slept in Loki’s bed when they were both too tired to walk to separate rooms in Loki’s quarters. Passed out, is more the term for what happened.
“I’ll go back and ask them for another room,” Anthony said, starting to turn back toward the door.
Loki stopped him with a hand on his arm. “They said this was the last room, Anthony, remember?”
“Oh,” the blacksmith turned back around. “All right, then I’ll sleep on the floor for tonight.”
“What?!” Loki gaped at him. “No, no, I am not letting you sleep on the floor! You’re my friend! I invited you here!”
“Loki, you’re a prince!” Anthony argued back. “If anyone should have the bed, it should be you!”
“Anthony.”
“It’s not so bad. I’ve slept in worse places,” he said, already moving to put his things on the floor.
Loki huffed at him. “I am not letting you sleep on the floor.”
“Loki, just take the bed.”
“No! As your prince, I- I- I am… I’m ordering you to sleep in the bed!” He pointed at said bed, trying to convince the other to just do as he said.
Anthony scoffed loudly at him. “Please,” he said. “Since when have I ever listened to anyone ordering me around?”
“Two days ago mother ordered you to bathe before we ate and you went without so much as a word!”
“That’s different!” Anthony argued. “That’s your mother!”
“Just take the damn bed, Anthony.”
“No.”
“Anthony!” Loki covered his face with his hands for a moment and exhaled. He could feel his seidr tingling in the air around him. He took a moment to calm down. He didn’t need to explain why their mirror exploded or something like that. Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, Loki spoke again.
“Either you take the bed, or neither of us does,” Loki said, giving him an ultimatum.
Anthony had been pulling clothes out of his bag but stopped when Loki said that. Throwing the clothes back down with a puff of air, he ran his hand through his hair. “No, no, come on, Loki, that’s stupid. We paid for the bed. We can’t just not use it.”
Loki walked over and yanked pillows off the bed, tossing them at his friend. He took hold of the blankets and was ready to pull when Anthony suggested, “Why don’t we both just sleep there?” And Loki completely froze for a solid five seconds. Composing himself as best he could, trying to hide how nervous the idea made him, he looked at his friend.
“If that will get you to stop this childish argument, then…”
Anthony threw a pillow at his face. “I’ll show you childish!” And he tackled Loki and knocked him onto the bed and proceeded to whap him with the pillows.
After both of them had broken down into a fit of giggles, the tension that had been building up in the room was gone. They changed into sleep clothes and eventually settled into the bed. Pillows a ruffled mess and all.
As Anthony wished him a good night, Loki lay stock still, muscles tight as a bowstring. His best and only friend, the man he loved more than anyone else in all the realms was lying so close to him. It would be so easy to just turn over and embrace him. Just one small movement and Loki could pretend they were lovers on a vacation to escape the pressures of palace life. He could hold him and have every excuse in the world for it.
The night dragged on for him. Only when he physically could not keep himself awake any longer did he finally fall asleep.
When he woke, it took Loki a moment to remember where he was. He startled a little violently when he opened his eyes and found Anthony’s sleeping face only a few inches from his own. His flinch of course woke his friend, and seeing those familiar brown eyes blink open made Loki’s heart absolutely race. The beating was so loud in his ears, he could only hope and pray Anthony couldn’t hear it.
When Anthony’s sleepy gaze finally registered his friend there in front of him, he smiled. “Morning,” he mumbled, inching forward. He closed his eyes and then he pressed his lips against Loki’s in a soft, sweet, sleep-addled kiss.
Loki’s sharp inhale at the contact seemed to wake Anthony up. The second he heard that little intake of breath, his eyes flew open again. He jumped backwards in an instant, Loki sitting up just as quickly.
“Shit!” Anthony cursed loudly. “Shit, oh fuck! Loki I am so sorry!” He grabbed his hair, yanking at the short brown strands for a minute. “Fuck, shit- shit, Loki I- I’m sorry, I didn’t--!” He looked like he was in agony. His face contorted in a pained grimace, tears beginning to well up in his eyes. He was hurting and it hurt Loki to see it.
He reached a hand forward and gently touched the tips of his fingers to Anthony’s chest. He let a small bit of seidr flow to his friend to soothe him and Anthony looked at him. “You’re all right,” he whispered once he held his best friend’s gaze.
The hands that were in his hair slid down to cover Anthony’s face. He let out a low, long, miserable sounding noise as he hid his face. “No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no…” He made a noise like a sob then and Loki touched him again. “Can… can we just pretend that never happened?”
“Anthony?”
He sobbed again. “Oh, fuck, Loki, please? Please can we just… can we just stay friends and pretend I didn’t just fuck everything up?”
Loki tried to rub a circle on Anthony’s shoulder, but his friend moved away from him. “Why do you say you messed things up?” Loki asked. “You’re an affectionate man, I know this. You’re much more open than I—“
“Oh, just stop, Loki,” Anthony groaned. “We both know that wasn’t just me being myself. I kissed you for crying out loud!”
“I-I don’t mind,” Loki said, reaching for his friend again. “It just surprised me.”
Finally Anthony peeked at him from between his fingers. “You… you didn’t?”
Loki shook his head no. He may have been absolutely petrified of the idea of letting his friend know just how much he cared for him, but he wasn’t going to let him sit there hurting. “No, it… it was nice.” He tried to fight the flush he could feel rising to his cheeks. The heat of them no doubt turning a bright pink.
Now Anthony lowered his hands completely. He was also a little red in the face, possibly from crying, and he leaned forward a little. “Could, uh. Could we… try it again?”
“I-if you want to.” Loki’s voice was so small. Swallowed up instantly when Anthony leaned forward and they pressed their lips together. In an instant, Loki melted. He pulled his friend into his arms and kissed him until he couldn’t breathe anymore. As they kissed and embraced, Loki had to wonder- what had he been so nervous for? Nothing had ever been this perfect in all his life.
He had Anthony’s friendship. But now- now he had so much more. And he was never letting go.