Work Text:
Remus was taking what was probably his most important exam of the year. He knew he'd pass every other subject, but Transfiguration had never been his strong suit.
He was so focused that he almost didn't notice when Professor Binns stormed in the class, right in the middle of the test. It bothered him at first, but then he realized that their teacher wouldn't have done that if it wasn't an emergency.
He tried listening to the hushed conversation between the two professors, using his above-average werewolf hearing.
"What do you mean, critical condition? What happened?"
McGonagall sounded worried.
"We don't know exactly. Something about trying to create a new spell? Thinking he could do that at 16... it's incredibly stupid, even for him," their History of Magic teacher stated.
Remus was curious, but he knew this exam was extremely important. He'd hear the news the second he'd walk out of the classroom anyway.
He was about to get back to his paper when he heard it. His name.
"He'll make it. Sirius is strong, and he's a fighter. He'll be laughing about it in two days."
Remus completely froze when he understood that Sirius was hurt.
Critical condition. Enough for their teacher to interrupt an exam.
The second he remembered how to move, he ran out of the room and into the corridors. He didn't question his decision to leave, to go see him. He knew it'd look bad on his academic record, but he couldn't have cared less. Sirius was in the hospital wing, probably alone, and he was all that mattered right now. Sirius, Sirius, Sirius.
Remus was breatheless when he arrived, but once again, he didn't care.
He saw Sirius lying unconscious, and he had to use every bit of self-control he had not to burst into tears.
Madam Pomfrey didn't say anything when she saw Remus arriving out of nowhere. She was used to Sirius skipping class when his werewolf friend was in the hospital wing after full moons, and, even though she shouldn't have allowed it, she always let him stay.
When she heard movement outside the door, probably McGonagall looking for Remus, she went out there to talk to her, and he was left alone with Sirius' unconscious figure.
He sat on the side of the bed. He took his friend's hand in his own, and with his other, he gently touched the dark-haired boy's cheek. He was sweating, cold sweat, bad sweat. Seeing Sirius so vulnerable made Remus' heart break.
"Please, be okay," he whispered. "I'm here now, I won't leave, I promise. I'll stay here for days, I don't care, but I'm begging you, please be okay."
He stayed like that for a while, unable to let go of Sirius' hand, before lying next to him and falling asleep to the sound of his - thank Merlin - regular breath.
Remus stayed in the hospital wing with Sirius for a whole week.
Obviously, by the day after the incident, everyone had known that Sirius was badly hurt. James, Peter and Lily visited a lot, but they still attended class and slept in their dorm. James wanted to stay more, but Madam Pomfrey would one allow one of them to stay outside of the authorized visiting hours, and Remus was nowhere near giving up his privileges, no matter if it made him look selfish.
So, most of the time, he was alone with Sirius. Or, more accurately, with his body. He knew he was doing better, but he still hadn't woken up and it terrified the werewolf. What if he never did? What if he died not knowing how much Remus loved him? Whenever his mind started going there, he'd stop himself before going too far. It was painful enough as it was.
Sirius woke up on the fourth day. He didn't stay awake very long, but it was enough for Remus to see that he was okay. Sirius tried to hide it, but seeing Remus at his bedside made him so happy. So relieved, to know that he cared. That he worried about him.
Madam Pomfrey couldn't explain it, but Sirius started recovering much quicker after that first time he woke up. It should've taken more time, but somehow it was like knowing that Remus was here was physically healing him.
After a while, Sirius was allowed out of the hospital wing and back into his dorm, even though he couldn't go to class or do anything, really. Even if it was clear he was okay, Remus didn't leave his side. They spent days cuddling on Sirius' bed, not talking much, just being grateful for the other's presence.
When Remus felt that Sirius was okay enough to get lectured, he asked with anger:
"What the hell is wrong with you? Why would you try to create a new spell, knowing very well that it could backfire and kill you? Nothing can be so important that you'd sacrifice your life for it!"
"You are," Sirius said without thinking and looking down immediatly after realizing he had said those words aloud. His voice was so weak, Remus wasn't sure he had heard right.
"What are you talking about?"
"It'd be worth it to die for you, Remus."
Sirius' gaze finally met Remus'.
"I have no idea what you're talking about," the latter said, "but I don't think you realize how much it would break me if you died."
Sirius didn't add anything else, and, at first, neither did Remus. But he was too curious.
"What kind of spell where you trying to create anyway?"
Sirius took a deep breath, as if what he was about to reveal was a difficult thing to say.
"I was trying to create a spell that would allow one person to suffer instead of another. To transfer physical pain, sort of."
"Why would you ever want to create such a spell?"
Once again, Sirius was silent. It was really unusual for Remus to see him so quiet and vulnerable and... so unsure of himself.
After a while, Sirius finally admitted in a whisper:
"I wanted to create a spell that would allow me to take your pain away. Whenever you've had a tough moon or something. I just- I just can't handle seeing you suffer like that every month."
Remus was speechless. He didn't want to believe that Sirius would put himself at risk for a chance to protect him. Well, he wanted to believe it, but he couldn't let himself be hopeful about how Sirius might feel about him.
"You...," Remus started. "Why would you put your life in danger... for me? I'm not worth that much."
Sirius looked at him with an expression Remus had never seen before.
Like it was the most obvious thing in the world, he replied:
"To me, you're worth everything."
Conveniently, Sirius had fallen asleep right after admitting that to Remus, leaving him alone with his thoughts. He had liked Sirius for quite a while now, but he had never felt that it might be mutual. Sure, Sirius flirted with him all the time, but it wasn't serious. He wasn't actually flirting, he was just joking around.
Except... was he? Remus couldn't deny that he had seemed very honest a few minutes before, but he still was on medication. Maybe he didn't meant it. Maybe he wasn't himself and he didn't realize what he was saying.
But even Remus knew that wasn't it.
***
When Sirius woke up, he quickly realized that Remus wasn't next to him as he had been for the past few days. At first, he thought that the werewolf had finally gotten bored of him and that he had left him alone. But after a few seconds, he saw that he was just standing a few feet away from the bed, looking out the window.
"Come back to bed," Sirius asked in a sleepy voice.
Remus didn't even turn around.
"You can't just do that," he said.
"Do what?"
At last, Remus turned around.
"Tell me that I'm 'worth everything' and then just fall asleep!"
Remus tried to look angry, but Sirius knew better- he was actually upset. He had probably been thinking about what Sirius had said for hours.
"I meant what I said, in case you're wondering. Please, come back to bed."
Slowly, Remus climbed onto the four-poster bed.
"I don't even care. You can't risk your life for me, it's out of the question. You have to learn how to put yourself first."
"I'm sorry, Moony, I really am, but I can't."
"Why not?"
The look Sirius gave Remus at this moment was filled with so much love and desire that the werewolf's heart almost burst open.
"Because I'm in love with you. I could never put you second."
James hesitated for a second. Should he leave? After a few seconds of hesitation, he decided against it.
"Am I interrupting something?' he asked.
Clearly, he was. His two best friends were full on making out on Sirius' bed, Remus on top of the black-haired boy and the latter with his hands in the werewolf's hair, pulling him closer. If that was even possible.
The second Remus heard James' voice, he pulled away almost violentely, looking alarmed. How had he not heard the footsteps approaching? Or the sound of the door opening?
"Relax, it's just me," James said with a big smile. "What's going on around here?"
Remus was clearly panicking.
"It's not... I-"
"Can't you see? We were having sex," Sirius cut in, clearly not caring about James' sudden appearance or how red Remus looked at the moment.
"We were not," the latter tried to clarify.
"It's okay," James answered, nonchalantly. "I kinda saw it coming, honestly. I think everyone did. You two weren't really good at hiding your feelings for each other."
Remus wanted to yell at him, not only for interrupting them but also for apparently having kept crucial information regarding certain feelings that he knew about.
But in the end he decided to stay quiet. An awkard stare-off would be James' punishment.
After a few never-ending quiet seconds, James finally said:
"Well, I'll leave you to it."
They should've been embarrassed, they really should have, but the second James was gone, their lips collapsed again.
They would've continued kissing all night if Remus hadn't broken their embrace at some point.
Breathless, he murmured:
"I don't need you to take the pain away. Having you is enough."
