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“Marry me.”
“...What?”
“I… Well, you heard me. Marry me.”
Sombra stared at him for a few minutes, eyes narrowed in thought “You’re serious,” she finally concluded.
“Yep.”
A few more minutes passed, both of them staring at each other, waiting for someone to flinch and break the silence.
Sombra snorted. “You suck at proposals, Vaquero.” Cole chuckled, bowing his head in laughter before nodding. “Okay.”
Cole looked up, surprised. “Okay?”
“Yeah. Okay, I’ll marry you.”
“Awesome.”
They smiled, sharing a look, before they were rudely interrupted by their boss. “You two do realise that the comms are open, right?” Gabriel Reyes asked, voice distorted by his mask.
“Yeah. Hey, Gabe, you were once legally allowed to marry people, yeah? You were, like, a wedding officiator, or whatever they call it.” There was a raspy breath over the comms, and Sombra could just picture Gabriel sighing, tilting his head back towards the sky in a prayer for strength.
There were gunshots before he replied again, sounding slightly out of breath. “I was a marriage officiant, yes. Is now really the time to discuss this?”
A Talon goon rushed into the room, gun at the ready, and Cassidy took him out with a bullet aimed perfectly at his head. “Now is the perfect time to talk about this, Boss!” he exclaimed, bouncing on his toes in excitment.
“We are on a mission!”
“Oh, please, this hardly counts as a mission. I haven’t even broken a sweat. This is practically a leisurely stroll through the park,” As she was speaking, Sombra opened a glowing purple hologram, hacking past another firewall as McCree guarded her back. “You know, for the most renowned terrorist organization in the world, Talon really does have terrible internal oversight. I mean, we’re cutting through them like butter.”
More gunshots traveled through the line, and then, with an effort-strained voice, Gabriel said, “Speak for yourself. You guys got the easy part. All you have to do is get through some computers and bam! You’re done. I’m the one doing the heavy lifting. Do you know how many people I’m fighting right now? Hundreds!”
“Just use your Flower-Death-thingy. That’ll clear ‘em out, right?” Sombra asked, trying not to snicker.
“First of all, it’s a Death Blossom ,” Sombra and Cassidy high-fived at the disgruntled tone in Reaper’s voice. “secondly, that’s not a bad idea. I knew there was some reason I haven't killed you yet.”
“Oh, please. You haven’t killed us because you couldn’t if you tried,” Sombra said with a giggle.
“Let’s test that once we get out of here.”
“Okay, Gramps.”
A french accent interrupted their squabble. “I wish to change my mind and join Talon again instead of helping you betray them. May I do that?”
“No!” The other three voices shouted at the same time.
Widowmaker huffed. “In Talon, I did not have to deal with these petty fights while trying to work. I don’t care how evil they were.”
“First of all, they brainwashed you. That’s pretty evil. Second, don’t act like you didn’t have to listen to Sombra and Gabe play iSpy every single mission.”
“So I’m trapped either way? I wish for death.”
“Hey, Amélie, you’d make a pretty good Maid of Honor, wouldn’t you?”
Gabriel and Amélie groaned at the same time. “Fine. But I get to pick what cake you have. I cannot stand for you and the cowboy to butcher it like you do with everything else you cook.”
“Right, I’ll check you down for both Maid of Honor and Wedding Planner. Gabriel can be the Wedding-official-person--”
“Marriage officiator!”
“Right, marriage officiator, and you can also be the Best Man, because Cole has no other friends--”
“Well, hey now!”
“And then we’re all set! Okay, you can marry us now, Gabe!”
“What, now? Over the comms?”
Cole and Sombra both giggled, running down a new hallway and shooting all the agents getting in their way. “Yeah, now! It’s not like we need nothing fancy, just an official marriage!” Cole said, sharing a playful look with his soon-to-be-wife.
Gabriel sighed again, the sound like nails on a chalkboard. “You do realise that this is in no way going to be legal? We’re doing this over comms, and I think dying years ago revoked me of my status as a Marriage officiator.”
Amélie was quick to add, “Not to mention the fact that you’re giving me no time to order a proper cake!”
“It’s not like anything we do is legal anyway, and Amés, you can make a cake later! Come on, live a little! Let us have this!”
“Fine. Ingrate, do you promise to be a good husband to Sombra and all that jazz?” Gabriel grumbled, clearly trying to cover up his amusement with a bad facade of annoyance.
“Yeah, sure.”
“That’s not-- You’re supposed to say 'I do'! You know what? Whatever. I don’t care.” Cole and Sombra high-fived again. Annoying Gabriel was their favorite pastime. “And Sombra, do you promise to be a good wife to the ingrate, ‘till death do you part and in sickness and whatever?”
“Yep.”
“Okay, you’re now married. Congrats. Can we focus on the mission now?” Gabriel snaps, but he was clearly only half-annoyed.
Cassidy stopped, grabbing Sombra’s arm to make her slow down with him. “Wait, don’t I get to kiss the bride?”
“Make it through the mission, and I might even give you two.”
“You two are disgusting,” Gabriel said, though everyone could hear the fondness in his voice.
“Absolutely distasteful,” Amélie agreed.
“Oh, screw you guys,” Sombra snarked, grinning. “You can’t annoy us while we’re on our honeymoon mission. Now come along, dearest husband. We have a terrorist organisation to take down.”