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Airports are pretty scary, especially when it's your first time flying alone. And right now, that's what Eunsang was preparing to do. He was sitting on one of those blue chair-bench things that seem to be made specifically for airports, way too close to the strangers next to him. Everyone seemed to be caught up in what they were doing, from businessmen across from him typing quickly on their laptops to families behind him trying to calm their crying children. Everywhere Eunsang looked, there was someone doing something or going somewhere- it was as if the entire world was moving and he was the only one standing still. He felt like that a lot, actually. Alone. Left behind.
High school had brought many moments of that feeling, after he and his friends had graduated and it had finally hit Eunsang that he wasn't ready to go out and face the world yet. The daunting concept of going to a huge university with God knows how many strangers and unfamiliar situations was scary, and he didn't know how he was going to do this. All his fears and doubts were circling through his head as he sat at the airport gate. Would he be able to keep in touch with his high school friends? Could he keep up with the huge college workload? And of course, the most important thought, the one that he had been putting off for months now: what was he going to do with his life?
The looming pressure of choosing a major was what echoed in Eunsang's mind until he was interrupted by a cheerful voice, pulling him back to reality.
"Excuse me, do you know where Gate 9 is?"
Eunsang looked up. The voice belonged to a small, black-haired, and goddamn adorable boy. There was an expectant look in his eyes as he bounced on his toes.
"Uh…" Eunsang furrowed his eyebrows, thinking. "That's on the other side of the airport," he said slowly.
"Oh. Sorry for bothering you, by the way. You just seemed like the most approachable person here and I kind of got lost trying to find my flight and I'm supposed to be boarding in an hour and it's really important, I'm going to college, and I- oh, I'm rambling, aren't I? I do that when I'm nervous, I'm sorry." The boy was blushing, and he anxiously clutched the hem of his cardigan.
"Hey, it's okay," said Eunsang. He needed a distraction from his worries, and obviously the boy needed help. "You want me to help you find your gate? I have some time before I board."
"Yes, please," whispered the smaller boy. His glasses were just a bit too big for his face; they kept slipping off. Eunsang found it slightly endearing, the delicate way he pushed them back up the bridge of his tiny nose.
"Come on." Eunsang stood up, and the two began to walk through the crowded airport.
"I'm Dongpyo, by the way. I just turned 18." He smirked slightly, seeming to anticipate Eunsang's response.
"I'm Eunsang." He chuckled. "I can't believe you're older than me, but here we are- I'm still 17."
"Oh, so you're heading to college too?"
"Yeah. Wish I wasn't, though."
"Why? College is nothing to be afraid of."
"Uh, it definitely is. I have to make new friends and decide what I'm doing with my life and be a real adult and-" Eunsang's voice broke. His anxiety was catching up to him again; he felt all the thoughts swirling up in his head like a tornado. "-I don't think I'm ready at all."
"Hey. Don't worry." Dongpyo stopped walking and turned towards the taller boy. "It's okay. You have plenty of time to figure things out. I guarantee you that no one has their shit together before they get to college; you're not the only one who's worried. Hell, I haven't even chosen a major yet! Point is, we're all going through the same thing, and there are plenty of people who feel the same way you do. Everything is going to happen in time, I promise."
Dongpyo put his hand on Eunsang's shoulder, and Eunsang began to feel a little bit better. Maybe Dongpyo was right. Maybe if this seemingly confident stranger hadn't chosen a major either, there was hope for Eunsang too.
"You promise?" he asked.
"I promise."
At this, Eunsang smiled softly. Dongpyo's little pink lips turned upwards into a smile too, his eyes like crescent moons. Eunsang's heart fluttered slightly. He shook it off. He definitely did not think that this cute stranger's smile could rival the sun. Not at all.
"Hey," said Dongpyo after a moment. "Are we going that way?" He pointed towards the large crowd surrounding the various restaurants and shops in the terminal.
"Yeah, we need to get to the gates on the other side," replied Eunsang.
"You want to stop for a moment? I've still got time, and I think I want to get to know you better."
"Me? Why?"
"You seem like the type of person who's worth being friends with. I don't meet people like you very often. I was totally alone before, and now I have you, and… it's like the world was standing still and you pulled it back into motion when you decided to help me."
"But we just met."
"We have to start somewhere, right? Listen, there's something special about you, and I refuse to leave this airport with regrets. So come on, let's go somewhere!" Without a second thought, Dongpyo grabbed Eunsang's hand and pulled him forward.
Eunsang realized then that it wasn't him who had pulled the world into motion, it was Dongpyo who had pulled him into motion. He didn't mind that at all, because now they were running through the crowd, panting and giggling like maniacs, and it was absurd and wonderful and they had no idea where they were going.
And then they were past the crowd, and inside a souvenir shop somewhere and- oh, they were still holding hands. Eunsang realized that maybe his heartbeat had gotten faster for other reasons besides all the running. But when he felt a slight twinge of disappointment after Dongpyo let go of his hand, he told himself it was just because he hadn't had a boyfriend or girlfriend in a while. Definitely nothing else. Eunsang absolutely, positively, was not imagining the smaller boy curled up in his lap, looking up at him with those doe eyes, full lips stuck out in a slight pout-
His thoughts were interrupted by the brim of a hat falling over his eyes. Eunsang couldn't see, but he could definitely hear, and Dongpyo was laughing hysterically. He couldn't help but smile at the sound.
"Oh my God, Dongpyo, what is this hat?"
Dongpyo was still laughing. "Look in the mirror!"
Eunsang lifted the hat up, looked at the mirror on the wall, and burst out laughing too. The hat was huge and floppy, and it had a cheap, tacky iron-on patch of the airport's name. Eunsang somehow loved it and hated it at the same time.
"This is absolutely horrible," he grinned. "It's your turn now."
Dongpyo groaned, pretending to be annoyed. "Fine, I'll try it on." He rolled his eyes pointedly. He reached up to Eunsang's face (no, Eunsang certainly did not wish for him to actually touch it), took the hat off his head, and plopped it on his own.
And then, of course, they started laughing again because the hat was ridiculous, but it was perfectly ridiculous.
They tried on more hats, laughed more and bantered more and smiled more. It turned out that Dongpyo was the perfect height to be able to tap Eunsang's baseball cap with his own. It also turned out that if someone is attempting to knock someone else's hat off by doing exactly that, the two people will end up making a lot of eye contact.
It wasn't that Eunsang minded looking into Dongpyo's eyes every few seconds. It was just that, well, these moments were reminding him that romantic feelings existed. Don't get him wrong, Eunsang absolutely was not falling for a stranger in an airport. He was just thinking about the fact that Dongpyo's glasses were slipping again, and he wanted suddenly to reach out and push them back up. He used to do that with one of his exes; that's why he was thinking about it again. Dongpyo's eyes didn't have little stars in them- just the artificial store lights. Eunsang did not feel anything for Dongpyo. He was just bored and lonely, and a boy had appeared in his life at the exact right time. Nothing more. He kept telling himself that, repeating it like a mantra in his head. Nothing more nothing more nothing more.
Well, maybe there was a little more. Because when the two boys left the store, they weren't just holding a bag of candy and a baseball cap each. They were holding hands again.
It's because of the crowd, Eunsang thought. We're holding hands because we need to walk through the crowd. That's it.
But when they reached the other side of the airport, Dongpyo's hesitant voice said otherwise. "Hey, um… could you maybe stay with me? When we get to my gate? I'm kind of, um, afraid of flying."
"You? You just gave me a whole lecture on why college isn't scary. If college doesn't intimidate you, flying shouldn't."
"It's not really the flying I'm scared of. I just don't like being up in the middle of the air with nothing around me, you know? What happens if the plane falls?" Dongpyo looked nervously up at Eunsang, arms folded around himself.
"Oh, Dongpyo. These pilots fly thousands of flights every year. They know what they're doing; if it wasn't okay to be flying, they wouldn't do it. I know your flight is going to be perfectly safe. If jets can fly safely at hundreds of miles per hour every day, your plane will be able to fly safely at way less than that. Trust me, okay? It'll be over as quickly as it starts."
Dongpyo bit his lip (and Eunsang tried desperately to not let his mind wander). "Promise?"
"I promise." God, Eunsang knew they were barely acquaintances, but it felt like they had known each other for years.
"Hey, I think this is Gate 9." It was. The two sat down silently next to each other, watching the blinking display. Twenty minutes until boarding.
They didn't have another conversation. Instead, Dongpyo moved a little closer to Eunsang, and Eunsang moved a little closer to Dongpyo. Maybe Dongpyo leaned his head on Eunsang's shoulder, and maybe Eunsang put his arm around Dongpyo. Or maybe Eunsang was imagining it, but either way it made him feel comfortable. Safe. Warm. At home.
I miss this, that's what it is. Nothing to do with Dongpyo, I just haven't been cuddling anyone lately.
Dongpyo sat up, reaching for his bag of candy. He popped one into his mouth and looked up at Eunsang. Eunsang looked back, and all of a sudden Dongpyo's hand was a millimeter away from his lips, feeding him a piece of candy. Eunsang blinked in surprise.
He stayed still for a moment, and then he reached for his own candy and fed Dongpyo a piece in return.
"Thanks," the smaller boy giggled. His eyes were crescent moons again and there were little sugar crystals on his lips and he was still so, so close to Eunsang. Eunsang was practically short-circuiting.
He wished suddenly that he was dating someone, so he wouldn't have to be so lonely and he wouldn't have to keep having these thoughts. If he had a boyfriend or girlfriend, he wouldn't want to date Dongpyo. He- what?
Oh my God. I'm falling for a boy that I just met an hour ago. Eunsang's heartbeat quickened. Admitting it to himself was just making everything worse, because now he was imagining a future outside of the airport. Dongpyo and him as roommates, encouraging each other to finish late-night term papers fueled by energy drinks. Dongpyo and him in the same class, stealing kisses whenever the teacher turned around and passing notes behind a textbook. Dongpyo and him making friends together, choosing a major together, doing everything that Eunsang didn't think he could do on his own.
It was too good to be true. Maybe that's why Eunsang wanted it so much.
"Flight number 126, you may begin to board now!" The airline staff's voice echoed throughout the gate, and Eunsang was jolted back to the reality of the airport.
Dongpyo stood up. He looked at Eunsang, expression hard to read, and grabbed his hand.
"It's going to be okay. For both of us. I promise."
"I promise," echoed Eunsang. He couldn't pinpoint his feelings either, but as Dongpyo stood up, he knew.
As Dongpyo whispered goodbye and Eunsang smiled faintly, he knew. As he watched Dongpyo waiting to board, he knew. As Dongpyo entered the boarding tunnel, he knew. And as Dongpyo disappeared from sight, Eunsang knew.
Longing. Because Dongpyo was no longer a person. Eunsang knew him now as a question, a possibility, a what if.
What if this had turned into something more? What if they could each know who the other was beyond this dreamy airport reality? What if they could spend more than just an hour together? What if Eunsang never stopped pulling Dongpyo's world back into motion?
The plane took off and took Dongpyo with it. Eunsang was standing still in the middle of the gate, stuck staring at the empty space the plane had occupied. There were a million paths his future could have taken, but for some reason or another, he met a black-haired boy at an airport who changed his life.
He walked back to his own gate slowly. The souvenir shop was empty; he pushed his way through the crowd with no one to hold his hand.
He reached gate 26, and he sat down again. There wouldn't be a voice to distract him from his anxious thoughts.
Eunsang did notice something, though. The entire world was still in motion around him, but now he was moving along with it.