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“It is said that love can both strengthen, yet weaken a person… But for some, it only brings weakness.”
“What do you mean?”
“Some might call it Glass Heart syndrome. It’s not common, of course. It is said that only a few within the Riegan bloodline will be cursed with such an illness. It doesn’t sound like a real illness, does it? After all, how can a human truly possess a glass heart?”
“But no one really knows for sure, right? And perhaps the Goddess loves playing tricks on us…”
…
It had been weeks since the war began, with the Church and Empire fighting against the Allies without care. It had also been weeks since any one of the leaders had a proper rest, it seemed. It had been a long, long day. No one would bother him now, and Claude was glad for that. Sitting beside the open window to his temporary residence, the breeze caressed his dirtied cheeks, and his hair danced lightly in the wind.
“Hrgh…” A sharp pain coursed through his veins, centering around his heart. It wasn’t the first time Claude experienced such pain. When he was still a young student, occasionally he felt a stinging sensation in his chest. Of course, he took great care to not show it to any of his friends.
Like someone piercing a nail into his body and forcing it in further with a hammer, it would last for a quarter of an hour. Beads of cold sweat formed on his forehead, his teeth clenched so tight you could hear the sounds of friction. Slowly, the pain started to subside. And luckily it did, as a knock could be heard then.
Claude stood up from his seat and wiped his forehead with his sleeve. Rubbing his chest, he checked his appearance in the tall mirror right beside his bed. He pulled a smile.
Perfect, as always.
His boots made low thumping sounds as he walked on the wooden floor towards the door. Twisting the knob, the sun rays shot into his eyes and he squinted on instinct. The visitor, as if just realising the Alliance leader’s discomfort, shifted a little. The sun no longer blinded Claude, and he could now see who was at his door. “Hello, your Kingliness.”
“Claude.” The blonde man said in a sigh. Raising his eyebrows a little, Claude tilted his head to the side. “What’s the matter, Dimitri?” Dimitri’s shoulders relaxed a little.
“The Empire is coming closer and we are calling for a meeting to discuss our future strategies… Right now.” Dimitri blinked slowly, his words a little slow. How cute, Claude thought.
It was not long ago when Dimitri was in an… unstable state. Unable to decipher friends from foe, he tore down anyone in his way, and that caused some casualties on the Alliance’s side. Luckily, Claude was able to tame this beast and bring him to their base. The man seemed to be in a much better place now.
“Alright then. Wait for a moment.” Claude gestured the King-to-be into his… rat’s nest, was what Dimitri thought when he stepped into the room. Books and paper all flown and thrown across the floor. He could see bits of ink stains on the walls as well. The blonde man could feel a headache coming.
Meanwhile, Claude was busy organizing, or rather, pushing his books around his desk. Stepping back, he smiled with satisfaction at his work of art and turned around to face Dimitri, whose eyes drifted around the room. The corners of his lips were pulled in a straight line. Claude put his hand on his mouth and his shoulders trembled a little. “Ahem, we should go now.” Pushing Dimitri out, he closed the door behind him, shrouding his secrets in darkness.
…
Personally, Claude thought the meeting went quite well. It seemed that everyone was in a good mood that day, and it was easier to get favors out of the war council. With his hands behind his back, Claude walked briskly, though he would have been skipping his way there if it wasn’t for the fact that Dimitri was right beside him.
It was a quiet afternoon, which was unusual for most days. There was usually training going on for the soldiers, but Claude heard from his best friend Hilda that Dimitri gave everyone a day off today. Side-eyeing the blonde man beside him, it really sank into him that it had been five years since they last saw each other. Claude couldn’t help but wonder what truly happened to this lover of his.
Perhaps feeling that his stare was too piercing, Dimitri turned to look at Claude. “What’s wrong, Claude?” Startled out of his thoughts, the Almyrian blinked his eyes slowly to conceal his momentary vulnerability. “Oh it’s nothing. Just wondered how you’re doing right now.”
Dimitri looked into his eyes for a while, the emotions within his gaze were indecipherable even for Claude. Finally looking elsewhere, Dimitri spoke in a soft, gentle tone. “I… feel freer now. The voices still haunt me, but everyone here has given me support so I’m much better now.” The tall man lowered his head a little, his lips curved ever so slightly. “You know, you’re so handsome when you smile.” Claude blurted out his thoughts and when he realised, his words had already come out.
Dimitri turned his head quickly to look at Claude before turning away again. He didn’t say anything, but the redness of his ears showed how he was feeling. Claude laughed, his honey, smooth voice resounded in the halls. Dimitri buried his head deeper into himself in response.
“Well, we’ve reached my room now. What are you gonna do, your Princeliness ?” Claude said in a teasing tone and gave the man a wink. Dimitri raised his brows and smiled (to which if others saw it, they would know how to describe how he looked: doting and spoiling the man in front of him!).
After a momentary silence, he spoke. “Claude, I want you to promise me something.” Dimitri’s eyes turned serious as he looked at Claude eye-to-eye. Claude’s smile faded away and a sudden nervousness came to him. “Yeah?”
“After the war…” Dimitri grasped Claude’s hand, which felt much colder than usual. Dimitri’s eyebrows furrowed. “After the war… I-I want you to stay by my side… Always.” His voice turned into a soft whisper as he spoke the last word.
Claude’s eyes widened, and Dimitri felt somewhat proud that he was the reason for the cunning man’s change in expression.
“Is this a confession I’m hearing right now?” A smile crept to his face, and Claude’s eyes were glistening with an unreadable emotion. Dimitri’s face turned beet red.
Ah, I love how cute you are…
A small tinge of pain was pulsing in his heart, and Claude clenched Dimitri’s hand harder.
“Sure… When the war is over, I will come to your side and stay beside you, Dimitri. Always.”
…
The thuds of books falling onto the floor were loud, as they were pushed off forcefully by their owner. Claude, now in his room, was hunched over his desk. His fingers grasped the edge of the wooden tabled so tightly, the tips of his fingernails were cutting into the refined timber.
Again. The pain came again, and it was stronger this time. His ears were ringing, and his vision was blurring. Thank god it’s night time now. But fuck, this really hurts.
Resisting the pain, he waddled around his books on the floor towards his bedside cabinet. Pulling open the top drawer with force, he rummaged through his items, which made a relatively loud ruckus, though he was too distracted with the pain to realise. Finally finding what he was looking for, he shuffled to his flask of water and poured out a handful of mysterious pills onto his hands.
Looking down, Claude carefully observed the pills in his hand, which resembled glistening pearls under the moonlight. Taking a deep breath, he shoved the pills into his mouth without care, and quickly drank water afterward to aid the swallowing.
He could finally breathe now.
…
It was tough. The lands were already torn and made uneven from previous battles, so it was harder for anyone to travel by horse through the battlefields. His blue cape blew in the wind as he rode on his warhorse. The sunlight framed his powerful stature and his lance tore down the enemy forces.
I was behind him, leading my own army of soldiers to intercept any attempted ambushes from the side. I turned to the side to see Hilda cutting down her enemies, and on the other side, Felix and Sylvain worked together to bring down one of the enemy generals who had slipped into our frontlines. A bubbling emotion was burning inside me. I didn’t know how to describe it; like a bright flame that burned with determination, the waves that pushed forth across tides. My friends pushed me forth, and I would never let them down.
With that, also came a mix of pain. Indescribable, stinging pain. I clenched my reins tight, and I could feel the rope burning on my skin.
One, two. One, two.
Taking calculated deep breaths, I pulled my bow and aimed at a faraway point. There stood the leader of our enemy. Clad in dark armor that contrasted the bright blue sky, they held a flag of their monarchy up high in the air. As if sensing the change in me, Hilda, Sylvain, and Felix pulled the soldiers away from my sight, clearing a path that aligned to my target.
Breath.
I pulled the string up to my cheek, my arm stretching my bow to its fullest. Sitting straight and unmoving on my horse, I eyed the moving black dot in the distance.
It’s time to end this.
Seconds later, the black dot disappeared. And along with it, the flag of the Empire.
…
“Claude, you sure you don’t want to go?” Hilda was leaning against the door frame, her arms crossed in front of her chest. Claude could feel her burning stare on him as he sat at his desk. “I told you, I still have things to do.”
“But it’s a celebration! Of the end of the war! We’re celebrating for you too you know, Mister Hero.” Claude cringed a little. He didn’t like people calling him that. Sighing, he waved his hand at her in determination. “Sorry, but this hero here still has some paperwork to do!” Hilda scrunched her brows at the man.
“But leave some of the food for me, Hil.”
Relaxing her brows and giving a smile, Hilda laughed. “I knew it. Sure, sure. You’ll have a portion of it. Have fun staying up in this nest of yours.” And she left, just like that. Claude released a breath he didn’t know he held.
His heart was still hurting, and he didn’t want to worry anyone with it. Of course, he also couldn’t celebrate in this state anyway. After the previous incident, there wasn't any more medicine for him to take.
Struggling to sit upright, Claude took up his quill and continued on with his writing. In the candlelight, half of his face was hidden in the shadows. Shifting to a more comfortable position, his hand wrote on the paper so quickly, it seemed as if the quill was dancing intensely on the page.
After letting the ink dry, he folded the letter neatly by aligning the corners and creasing with his index finger and thumb. The man, with little strength, opened a little box that was placed on the corner of his desk. Inside the box was a ring, that Dimitri had gave him when they were still in the Academy. The king-to-be probably never expected Claude to still keep an ordinary gift from five years ago.
The ring was nothing special. It was crafted out of normal silver, perhaps in an effort to conceal the emotions that were behind this gift. Dimitri never liked to show much of his weaknesses.
Rubbing his fingers across the simple engravings, Claude gave a small smile. His eyes seemed to glisten in the light. A teardrop fell into the letter he had just finished, and he quickly wiped it away before it could stain and smudge the ink.
He got up from his seat and took his furred coat. It was another gift from the blonde man, not too long ago. Realizing that Claude seemed to like his own thick furred cape, he made another out of silver fox fur. It kept Claude warmer in the cold.
Locking the door silently, Claude looked around. No one. He breathed out a little. He hadn’t done any ‘escaping’ since he graduated from the Academy. Carefully avoiding any patrol soldiers or his friends that were walking around the premises, he made his way to the stables where his wyvern resided.
“Hey baby girl… How have you been?” He caressed his friend gently, and the wyvern nudged her head against his hand while making low rumbling noises. “Shh… Don’t make too much noise. Let’s go outside, why don’t we?”
Riding his wyvern in the air, Claude felt a sense of relief. He was finally away from his allies, his friends… and Dimitri.
It wasn’t that he hated their presence, oh no. But with his current condition, he didn’t feel comfortable feeling vulnerable there. It wasn’t fun to hide your chronic pain while talking to your best friends, was it? Claude fixed his eyes on a flower plain below and patted his wyvern on the neck. They slowly descended from the skies and onto the field of flowers.
Walking around the area, the scent of sweetness mixed with other smells filled Claude’s nose. It was a place Claude didn’t know about before, like a hidden garden of sorts. Finding a place to sit down, he picked the shade under a large tree that was not too far off from their landing point.
The pain in heart subsided a little, but the pinching pain was a constant reminder to the man that he was not doing as well as before. Looking up to the stars, his consciousness strayed off…
“Look, you see those cluster of stars? It forms a constellation that means treasured love.”
“Wow, I didn’t know the Prince of the Kingdom was such a romantic.”
“Wha- N-no wait! I wasn’t trying to…”
The golden boy laughed loudly. “I know, I know! You just really love constellations and stars, don’t you?”
…
“Do you like flowers, your Princeliness?”
“Well, they can calm the mind… And they make good decor.”
“Bahaha! Alright then, I will find a field of flowers for you to make a whole lot of tea with!”
“Claude!”
…
The sun slowly rose from its slumber from the east, and slowly it seemed as if life itself had risen across the lands. It was a new beginning for many, and an ending for some.