Work Text:
~Would you let me see beneath your beautiful~
[2:00 AM]
Jisung grumbled as he stumbled down the hallway, his mind completely focused on getting to the door to stop that incessant knocking. He wasn’t even sure how he had heard it, it was incredibly feeble and if he hadn’t just finished his weekly Friends binge session, he wouldn’t have even been awake to hear it.
Finally, after what seemed like a year, he reached the door and heaved it open. Any exhaustion he felt quickly drained from him when he saw what was on the other side of it.
There was a tall figure, swaying as if they were going to fall over if they didn’t get some support soon. He was wearing knee-high black boots probably meant to be shiny, but they had been dusted and scuffed beyond any hint of the former shine. Poking out of the boots were torn fishnets which led to the short leather skirt, also ripped at the seams, barely hanging on by a thread. Hanging over the skirt, a tight nude undershirt hugged the boy’s small waist, over it a pale blue shirt that shimmered slightly in the fluorescent lighting. It would have been pretty, if not for the streaks of blood that marred the collar and sleeves of the shirt.
Jisung finally allowed his eyes to drift up to the figure’s face and felt his heart drop at the sight of the smeared makeup. Trails of mascara ran down flushed cheeks, mixing with tears and blood from a cut forehead and bloody nose. He startled as the person suddenly sniffled and looked Jisung.
“Oh,” the boy said , “You’re not Channie-hyung.” Wobbling, he turned to move down the hallway again. “I’m,” he paused, broken off by a sob that he had probably been suppressing since Jisung opened the door. “I’m sorry for waking you up.”
“Wait!” Jisung called. He’s not sure why he did it, but something in him compelled him to bring the boy back and help him. “You’re Hyunjin, right?”
~Would you let me see beneath your perfect~
When the boy paused, Jisung quickly took his chance. “I’m Jisung. Chan has mentioned you before. He’s not in right now, he mentioned something about going to Minho’s?”
If there was one thing he was not expecting, it was for Hyunjin to collapse on the ground sobbing. Jisung jumped, moving out of his doorway before pausing, not sure what he was supposed to do to comfort the boy. Cautiously, he knelt down to pat the other’s back, and he stifled his surprise when Hyunjin turned to continue crying into his shoulder.
Choosing to ignore the way his makeup was undoubtedly staining Jisung’s white shirt, he cooed and shushed the other until his sobs eased up a bit. When Hyunjin seemed to be taking more calming breaths, Jisung pulled back a little to look at him. Feeling his heart break at the absolutely devastated man in front of him, Jisung took a deep breath of his own before asking, “Would you like to come into my apartment so I can help clean you up?”
Seeing his hesitation, Jisung quickly added on, “I can text Chan and see if he’s still awake, then he can come and help you if he is.” When Jisung said that, something flashed in Hyunjin’s eyes and he nodded, standing up and pulling Jisung with him. Jisung turned and carefully lead the taller boy back to his door. When they reached the doorstep, Jisung slipped his slippers off but stopped Hyunjin from even trying to take his boots off.
They made their way down Jisung’s hallway, the boy currently cursing himself for not cleaning the apartment in over a week, he had random clothing items strung all about the place, as well as chip bags and soda cans from the last time Changbin had been over. Hyunjin gasped when his foot caught on a pair of pants Jisung had left sprawling out of the door to his bedroom. Cursing, Jisung lurched forward with the boy to steady him before kicking the pants out of the way and continuing to trudge along until they reached the bathroom, the furthest door on the left. (There were only 2, and the first one was his “linen” closet.)
~ Take it off now boy, take it off now boy~
~I wanna see inside~
When they reached the bathroom, Jisung paused to let Hyunjin go in first. When Jisung followed him in, Hyunjin quickly sat on the toilet seat, and Jisung thanked every god and deity above that he had decided that bathroom cleaning was the first step to a better life. Jisung opened his cabinet, once again thanking Chan for forcing him to buy makeup remover in case the older was too lazy to go back to his apartment to get his own. He grabbed a wipe from the shelf and turned to the brunet, seeing his tearstained face already turned to look at him.
Jisung moved toward Hyunjin slowly, almost as if he was approaching a wild animal instead of another human. “Hyunjin? Jinnie? Can I call you that?” When the other timidly nodded, Jisung smiled. “Okay, Jinnie, I’m going to use this wipe to take some of your makeup off. Is that okay?”
When Hyunjin nodded again, Jisung moved forward and crouched in front of him. Moving his hand slowly so the boy wouldn’t be startled, Jisung gently pressed the wipe to Hyunjin’s cheek and began to rub off the foundation and mascara that hadn’t made it onto his shirt. Carefully, Jisung worked his way over Hyunjin’s face, avoiding his nose and forehead, for the time being, not wanting to agitate the wounds. He was shocked when Hyunjin leaned into the hand he had used to steady the other’s face when he was wiping at his eyes but allowed himself to rub his thumb across his cheekbones, marveling at how absolutely beautiful Hyunjin really was.
Trying to focus, he grabbed an alcohol swab and turned to Hyunjin with a guilty look on his face. He moved back to the boy, placing a hand on his knee to get his attention again. “Hey, Jinnie, I’m going to have to clean your wounds now, okay? It might sting a bit, so be ready.”
When Hyunjin hummed, Jisung decided that was his cue to start. Carefully he reached up and dabbed at the cut on his forehead, wincing when he heard the taller boy inhale sharply. Without realizing it, he began muttering “Sorry,” under his breath. Startling when he felt a hand on his shoulder, he looked up to see Hyunjin gazing down at him, eyes watery and red, but incredibly serious. “It’s okay,” he murmured.
Flushing, Jisung quickly moved to Hyunjin’s nose once he was sure the boy’s forehead was safe from infection. He tidied up his nose best he could, then stood up. After cleaning up the sink, he turned back to Hyunjin, only to blush again when he realized the taller was already looking at him.
“I’m going to go get you some clothes now, okay? You can just hop in the shower and I’ll leave them outside on the toilet for you.” Jisung waited until Hyunjin nodded, then he turned and eased the door shut behind him. He moved carefully down the hallway until he reached the door to his room, easing it open before moving to the bed to grab his phone, staring at his covers mournfully. Shaking his head, Jisung opened his phone, only taking a minute to sigh at the 2:39 shining off of his screen. He opened his chat with Chan and sent him a message explaining everything that had happened in the previous hour.
Knowing Chan wouldn’t respond until morning because Minho was probably keeping him plenty occupied, Jisung went and rummaged through his drawer, pulling out some sweatpants that were too long on him and an old shirt. He considered grabbing Hyunjin a pair of boxers, before deciding to just throw them in and if the other wanted to use them, then he had the option.
Jisung then made his way back down the hallway, new bundle in his hand, but he paused when he didn’t hear the shower running. Knocking softly, he waited for Hyunjin to answer, but when he got no reply, he eased the door open to see Hyunjin standing with one boot in his hand, looking completely lost.
“Oh Hyunjin,” he sighed. He put the clothes in the sink and moved further into the bathroom. “May I help you?” Jisung asked, gesturing to the boy’s clothes. When Hyunjin nodded, Jisung shook his head. “Jinnie, I need you to say it out loud.” He looked the scared boy in the eye. “Do I have permission to help you?”
~Take it off now boy, take it off now boy~
~I wanna see inside~
Hyunjin stared at him, and the two stayed locked in that moment for what felt like hours but was really only seconds. “Y-Yes,” he eventually whispered, looking down. “You can help me shower.”
Jisung nodded and moved forward, “Okay. If there’s ever something that I do that makes you uncomfortable, just tell me to stop, got it?”
Hyunjin nodded again, and Jisung forced his coo down when he saw the other blush. This is not something that you should find cute, Jisung. The boy is embarrassed because this is one of the first times you’ve met him and you’re going to help him shower.
Schooling himself. Jisung knelt down and looked up at Hyunjin. “I’m going to take your other boot off now, okay?” He waited for Hyunjin to nod, then carefully unzipped the boot and pulled his leg out of it. Next, he focussed on Hyunjin’s skirt. Once again, he asked for permission to take the garment off, then carefully eased it over his thighs and to the ground at Hyunjin’s approval.
Jisung stood up when he realized he hadn’t turned the water on and quickly moved around Hyunjin to do so, smiling when the other boy didn’t flinch at his quick movements. He maneuvered himself so he was facing Hyunjin again, and asked if it was okay to remove his overshirt. They worked it down, piece by piece, until Hyunjin was left in just his underwear. When Jisung asked if he could take them off, Hyunjin blushed but shook his head no. “I think I can do it from here.” He muttered and Jisung smiled. He turned around and reached for the door handle, but paused when he felt a hand grab his.
“Will-” Hyunjin gulped and tightened his grip on Jisung’s hand. “Will you come back in when I call for you?” he asked. “I’m afraid to be alone right now.”
Jisung felt his heart reach out to the other, and he turned to look at Hyunjin. “I’ll do whatever you need me to do,” he said. “If I need to sit in the bathroom, then that’s what I’ll do. The last thing I want you to feel is unsafe here.”
At that declaration, Hyunjin gave Jisung a small smile and Jisung’s heart shattered right then and there. If there wasn’t a stronger person than the one he was looking at right now, then Jisung didn’t know what to believe. Here was a boy, terrified out of his mind. He had knocked on a stranger’s door, and rather than move on and pretend he wasn’t hurting in more ways than Jisung could probably imagine, he let that stranger take care of him. Now, he was smiling at Jisung as if he had given the world to the other. It was something absolutely unbelievable to him.
Stepping out to wait for Hyunjin to call him back in, Jisung took a second and marveled at everything that had happened that night. He remembered Chan telling him about Hyunjin.
“Oh you’ll love him,” Chan had told him, scrolling through one of the many many albums the boy had dedicated to his friends. “He’s incredibly laid back. He also sounds great at karaoke...” On and on the other had droned. It wasn’t until about 15 minutes into Chan’s description of Hyunjin’s work ethic and love of animals that Jisung realized he was being buttered up.
“Wait a second,” he had said. “Are you trying to set me up with Hyunjin?”
At Chan’s silence, Jisung figured he had hit the nail on the head. Now, looking back on it, he couldn’t help but laugh. Chan had tried to set the other up with him, and then they found each other without any preplanned interference from Chan.
“Jisung?” He startled a bit when he heard his name, but recovered quickly. Knocking on the door, he made sure it was okay to enter the bathroom again. He winced a bit at the humidity in the room, but shook his head and sat on the toilet regardless.
“Hey, Jinnie,” he replied. “I’m here.”
“Thank you,” Hyunjin replied. That’s how they stayed for the duration of the shower. Every now and then, Hyunjin would ask if Jisung was still there, but the two spent the majority of the time in comfortable silence.
Eventually, Hyunjin asked him to leave, and Jisung did so, making sure the taller knew where he had put the clothes. When Hyunjin stepped out of the bathroom, Jisung did a double-take for the second time that night. It’s official, he thought, eyes running over Hyunjin’s clean face and damp hair. He’s beautiful in whatever he wears.
They didn’t exchange any words, Jisung just led the other to his room. Once they got there, Jisung began moving a few blankets he had on his bed to the floor. Hyunjin looked from the bed to Jisung’s palette, and then he looked to Jisung, who had curled up on top of the blankets.
“What are you doing?”
“Getting ready for bed.”
“Why aren’t you sitting on your bed, then?” Jisung stared at Hyunjin, not understanding what the other was asking. Hyunjin sighed and gestured to the blankets. “This is your room, you should sleep on the bed and I’ll sleep on the blankets. Or-” he sucked a sharp breath in, before continuing, “I could sleep on the sofa, too.”
Jisung slowly stood up as Hyunjin kept talking, the other not noticing in his slightly panicked rambling. “After all, I don’t want to inconvenience you anymore. I already made you stay up until nearly 4 in the morning, and I’m sure you have things that you are going to do tomorrow. The last thing you need is a sore back from sleeping on the floor and-” he was cut off by Jisung carefully placing a hand on the boy’s shoulder.
“Hyunjin, it’s fine. You can have the bed. I don’t have anything that I’m doing tomorrow, so I can stay up as late as I want. You’re not an inconvenience, and I’m glad that I got to help you tonight.” He moved his hand up to wipe a stray tear that escaped from the corner of Hyunjin’s eye. His own eyes softened when Hyunjin leaned into his hand for the second time that night. “Why don’t you sleep on my bed, and in the morning, Chan will get here and you can tell him what happened. Then you can leave and pretend you never met me, or you can pretend we met that morning.
“But no matter what you decide, I don’t regret helping you and you’re an absolute idiot if you think I’m going to make you sleep on the floor after whatever happened to you tonight. So go to bed, and we can figure everything else out tomorrow morning. Okay?” Jisung waited until Hyunjin nodded and he felt his lips curl in another soft smile. He began to turn away to move back to his ‘bed’ for the night, but before he could get very far, Hyunjin reached out and grabbed Jisung’s hand from where it had just moved off of his cheek.
“Just sleep in the bed,” Hyunjin sighed. “It’s big enough for two.” Jisung was about to protest, when Hyunjin looked at him with clouded eyes, “I’ll probably feel safer that way, anyways.”
Jisung’s heart seized, and he blamed himself for falling victim so quickly to the other. Because he didn’t want to argue that much, he nodded, and turned, picking the blankets off of the ground again.
~Would you let me see beneath your beautiful tonight~
The two boys crawled into the bed and Jisung quickly turned his back to Hyunjin, knowing that if he faced the other, he was more likely to subconsciously snuggle him some time that night.
As he began to drift off, he heard Hyunjin shift behind him, “Hey, Jisung?” Jisung hummed, but that was about all he could force his body to do at that point.
“I just… I want to thank you again,” Hyunjin whispered. “I know it must have been weird to just randomly welcome a beat up man in women’s clothing into your house, but that… god, that means so much to me.”
Jisung was wide awake now, but he wasn’t going to let the other know that, who knew if he’d ever get the full story out of him again.
“I remember when I started working for that club. At first, it was because I was strapped for cash, but then it became something I really loved doing. I got to unleash this side of myself I didn’t even know I had and I loved it. I knew that people like me were looked down on, but I didn’t care.
“People would insult me in the bar, they would throw things, but that was as violent as they would get. And the bartender was always sure that I was safe and he always gave me the option to put more masculine clothes on if I wanted to. I never did.
“I was fine, and I was safe and I knew it. Then, tonight there was a group of guys who came in. They were drunk beyond any coherent thought, and I don’t think they would have chosen our bar if they were sober. When I asked what they wanted, they jeered and stuff, but it’s nothing I wasn’t used to, so I just took their order and took it to Binnie so they could leave.
“When I served them, they-” he broke off with a choked sob, and it took all of Jisung’s strength to turn around and comfort the boy. “They dumped the drink on me and told me that they wouldn’t take any drink from- from a filthy- a filthy-“
Jisung didn’t realize he had turned and pulled Hyunjin to his chest until he felt the other curl against him and sob. He ran shaky fingers through Hyunjin’s hair, feeling his heart splinter into smaller pieces with each sob the boy heaved.
“You don’t have to go on,” he whispered, “I understand enough from that.”
Hyunjin cried for what felt like another hour, Jisung felt completely useless, he ran his fingers through Hyunjin’s hair and whispered small comforts under his breath, but there was nothing that he could say to help him.
Eventually, Hyunjin calmed down, and, with his head still tucked into Jisung’s chest, he whispered, “I thought I was safe after that. Bin let me leave early, and I was going to Chan’s anyways, but they- they found me in an alley behind the bar right when I was leaving.”
Jisung felt his heart drop, knowing where the story was going there, and wishing with every fiber of his being that he could turn back time so Hyunjin would never have to experience that.
“They beat me.” A punch in the gut. All Jisung could do is hold Hyunjin closer, trying his best not to hurt the other. “I managed to get away before they hurt me too much, but I was so shocked. All I could do was try to find Chan.
“And then I knocked on a stranger’s door. But he knew my Channie, so surely he’d be okay.” Hyunjin pulled back and looked at Jisung, his eyes red again, but with that smile - the smile that Jisung would fight forever to see just one more time.
“And you were. So I want to thank you again, Jisung, for taking in the broken stranger in your doorway and piecing him back together.” Hyunjin reached up and laid his hand against Jisung’s cheek, and he understood why the taller boy had leaned into his own so often, it was comforting.
“Thank you for saving my life tonight, Jisung.” Hyunjin shifted forward and placed a delicate kiss on the corner of Jisung’s lips. He smiled again, and rolled over. Jisung was left staring at the other’s back, and his own hand came up to feel the slight warmth Hyunjin’s lips had left.
It was 4 in the morning. The city was just beginning to wake up, but in the small apartment two doors down from Chan’s, two boys drifted to sleep. Two boys fell asleep with smiles on their faces, confident the last two hours changed their lives for the better, and who were excited to wake up and face the next day.
~Oh, tonight~