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Mista finally closed the door of the office and sighed deeply. After all the journey and the losses, he was now ready to start a new life at a new position inside the mafia. He also had feelings for his new Boss and was decided to confess.
"Giorno, I think I have feelings for you."
"I'm glad to know this, Mista-san, I also have feelings for you."
"I swear to be loyal to you until death, as my soul, heart, body, and mind is yours. Would you be my boymobster?"
Giorno wept a little.
"Of course. I would be the happiest Mafia Boss teenager Stand User ever."
"Oh, Giorno... I see. We can't be together. You are a minor. How terrible am I! If I only was seventeen yet! We could be together now! I'm so unhappy."
"Mista I love you, you're my best friend, my Underboss, I can't see you unhappy! I can make you be a minor again, using the Requiem powers through the Arrow! And so, we can be both minor mobsters committing several horrible crimes together!"
"Oh, no, Giorno! This is wrong! Only horrible people de-ages characters. We can be fictional criminals with deep grey morals, but we can't cross this line. I should never be underage again." Mista let some tears fall from his deep black eyes, mourning his terrible fate as eternal 18 years old non-existent person.
"Have faith, my dear! In this case, I can use the same powers to become older. Then everything will be ok, I'll skip two years of my fictional body growth and we can finally date in a health example of a romantic relationship."
"No, Giorno! You shouldn't age-up yourself. What would it makes me look like? Some predator man, grooming a child? This is wrong. I'm sorry, Giorno, there's no way we can be together, despite all our partnership and excellent interactions and how much we mutually contribute to each other's character development in a fictional media, even in the form of non-canon fiction. And by all the ways, you are my Boss now, no matter your age, you would be abusive with me, using this power unbalance to make me give in things I shouldn't. "
"I understand, Mista. I'm so sad it has to be this way. I respect you and I wish you find the love of your life, that you can live it the best way possible without any problematic issues."
Mista sighed. "I wonder if there's any adult I could date now."
Giorno gave Mista a thoughtful stare and silently moved to another room. Coco Jumbo entered the office and Polnareff projected himself. "Hi Mista, I think we are both romantic lonely souls, and we mourn together about all the friends we lost on our life in shounen battles with magical powers."
"No way, Polnareff! You are too old for me. Our age gap is huge and, therefore, you would be nothing than a despicable abuser."
"This is nonsense, Mista. I no longer have a human body, for it's dead now. I can't be seen as someone with human age."
"This is worse, Polnareff, listen to yourself! You're not a live person anymore. You look like a nice guy with good intentions, but I'm no necrophile!"
"We can always try to reattach my older body! Maybe even fix things on it... I miss walking by myself..."
"I'm no longer hearing your bullshit, Polnareff. You are gross with your predatory grooming on me, an 18-year-old. And also I can't stay here, trying to resonate with how to take advantage of a person with a previous disability. I know this is all wrong!"
Mista ran away from the office, tears on his face. He tried to calm himself at the gardens, feeling the loneliness surrounding his future.
"Hey, what's the deal with you today, Mista? Hey, are you... Are you crying?"
"Oh, is it you, Fugo. Leave me alone, I can't talk to minors."
"What is this bullshit now?"
"I can't talk to you! Stop, please! I have to be the one responsible for not let children interacting with adults!"
"I'm no child! I am your fictional partner at a fictional mob organization with some fictional and fluid age! I just came here because I care about your well-being and heard you felt bad about your romantic stupidity. Stop being ridiculous for once!"
"You have too many excuses on your advances for some nasty content, Fugo. You should feel bad about yourself. Are you growing to be a predator? How can you sleep at night with this kind of behavior?"
"Are you trying to make me feel guilty about something you are presuming about me with your pathetic morals for the sake of your own schadenfreude? This is pointless, empty of argumentation and fueled with pure stinginess!"
"Ha! And now you're using big words to try to look smart. Do you know how you sound like? Blah blah blah I'm a big nasty supporter! And don't try to reply to me now! I'm no longer talking with predatory children!"
Fugo snapped so hard with so much bullshit that he exploded. There's no more Fugo on this world, just pieces of a black tie with strawberry print. Mista felt nothing about this case, focused on staring at the gardens, but a scream made him turns around. Trish Una, 15 years old female character with the sexualized outfit, looked terrified by the Fugo Explosion.
"Oh my... Oh my... Mista!"
Mista ran to the gardens, decided to never speak to a minor girl. This is completely wrong. He kept running in circles, and bumped into Giorno's lithe minor body.
"Oh, Boss, I'm sorry, but I have to quit this job. I can't interact with you anymore, this is beyond any acceptable behavior. I'm the only young adult in this organization and this is all wrong..."
Giorno smiled softly and showed the bright Arrow to the sunlight. "Worry not, my dear comrade, that I discovered how to bring back your happiness on the fields of love."
Without warnings, Giorno cut Gold Experience Requiem with the Arrow, a horrible thing to do because it means he wants to hurt himself in his very soul. All the surrounds became a crazy flash of colors, and Guido Mista saw the smiling faces of his beloved friends, Narancia, Buccellati and Abbacchio.
"Mista!", Narancia greeted him, "I'm here now. We can be bros in love forever. Is the right choice."
"No, Narancia, even if you're alive and well... You're still seventeen... I can't even be your friend anymore..."
"Mista!", Abbacchio roared, "We are both young adults. Although we didn't have that many significant interactions, I believe we can get along very well and we both could be a really nice couple. I feel like all I need is the brightness of your love to cure my depression."
"No, Abbacchio! This is so unhealthy! You must find psychiatric help! I can't be happy about such an unbalanced relationship!"
"Mista...", Buccellati came to hold Mista's shoulders, "You're right and I'm proud of you. We are both adults with a small age gap and surely we don't have an unbalanced relationship since we both can trust each other even separately. I never forget that you tried hard to save me from my fate. I cherish you a lot."
Mista cried and broke away from Buccellati's ghostly touch. "No, Buccellati... Now that I had time to think about my past, it was really abusive and low-key manipulation how you freed me from jail just to put me inside the crime world... I was still so young. I want to never speak to you again."
The three ghost friends nodded silently, going back to Heavens. Once more, Mista cried because he couldn't find a partner of his own age to love. Giorno felt deeply this heartbreaking situation and eagerly ordered his minions to bring a special person that could talk to his Underboss.
"H-Hey..." Hours later, a voice with high Japanese accent reached Mista. "I-I'm Hirose Koichi... I also make part of this Vento Aureo set... But I didn't meet any of you guys from Giovanna's gang..."
"Oh, no, I can't talk to minors. Go away!"
"But I'm 18 years old! Here, look at my ID"
Mista was surprised that Koichi was, indeed, the same age as him.
"I understand it, but, we can't interact nonetheless. You're coded-minor."
"Oh well... At least, Giovanna is paying all my week on another trip to this country. Good to see you!"
Mista was so, so unhappy. There is no fictional character in this fictional small world to love him properly. Giorno looked from his window and sighed deeply, deciding there was only one last thing he could do for this loved friend. Giorno used the Arrow to brings Hirohiko Araki to Vento Aureo Post Canon setting.
"Mista needs another Mista to love himself, oh, powerless Creator. Do it."
Araki was somehow surprised, but not too shocked at this turn of the events. "Why would I do another Guido Mista for Guido Mista?"
Giorno was serious. "You are the one who created Mista. You are responsible for what happens to your fictional characters and also for all the personal experiences of all your readers. It's your duty to fix the wrong things you've wrote in the past."
Araki considered Giorno's words for a moment, then nodded. "I'll draw another Guido Mista, with similar experiences, same age and similar psyche conditions."
"But this time", Giorno added, "Make a Mista less sexualized. This is not a good representation for all the 18-year-old readers that enjoys the shounen genre with dark themes as crime world, murderer, sexual assaults and general manipulation and toxic behaviors."
"I'll try", and Araki made as Giorno ordered. The new version of Guido Mista met the original version of Guido Mista, and they were in awe for some moments. Then the original version shot the new Guido Mista with four bullets.
"Araki-sensei, I should also shot your knees for trying to suggest I should have romantic interactions with myself. This is psychically unhealthy and a call-back to masturbation. You should never start this manga in the first place. I no longer want to be in this world. I want this all to ends now."
"As you wish, Mista. With the combination of my powers and Giorno's Requiem Stand, we can reset this all universe right now." This was becoming an abusive use of the Arrow and so, but Mista couldn't remark that as all things went black. When he felt conscious again, Mista was laid down on the beach. He got up and noticed another male body not too far from his own, some sort of sailor young man. Mista quietly waited for the man to woke up as well. This man should be the only possible love of his fictional life, as Fate decided. However, Mista couldn't avoid himself from staring too much at the other man, and then... Then he shouted all his lungs out. That man had four testicles.
Then Mista decided to not live anymore.