Chapter Text
people always associated jisoo with white lilies.
they symbolized innocence, chastity, virtue; the ideal traits every christian parent pushed upon their child from the minute of their birth. for jisoo, they seemed to work, the young boy always dressing in clothes the colour of snow and dancing about with no bad word glossing his lips. most parents aspired to raise their child to be almost a clone of jisoo, the cleanliness and kindness in his personality making his ticket to heaven practically unconditional. he was the dream child of god in their church, and for that, he was praised and loved by every member that stepped through their doors.
although, anything white could be stained at some point. that was the idea that worried his parents the most.
they restricted his activities to only the house, the church, and the library - fairly safe and secure places where jisoo could be protected - and forced him to only associate with the other church children in the village (who weren’t the most interesting people on the planet, if he was being honest).
they convinced him that this was for his safety, that he needed to stay away from those who could harm him for the sake of god’s view on him. they said that one wrong move could change whether his key to heaven would be locked away for the rest of eternity - and as a child, that scared him, because that was all he knew.
but he was older now, not just the church’s baby. he wished he could convince them to let him live freely under god’s view; but to them, he was still their white lily. something to be withheld, rather than something to be shared.
“joshua, the priest requests to have a word with you.” his mother called for him as he was about to walk out of the church, the library calling his name in the distance; the boy unfortunately was forced to let it scream in the background for a little while longer.
he looked over to the front of the church, where their priest stood behind his alter and smiled at them with a fake softness that jisoo couldn’t properly identify. yet, he still strode forward towards the man in robes, bowing to the altar under his parents’ gaze before shaking hands with the priest.
“good evening, joshua! did you enjoy the mass today?” he smiled, locking his hands together in front of his stomach. jisoo tried to avoid his gaze as he let his expression soften. the young boy wasn’t usually one for small talk, but it was the last thought on his mind to be disrespectful to someone as high as the priest.
“i did, father, as always.” he responded with an airy tone, playing with the flared cuffs on his sleeves. the priest’s attention seemed to drift into the background as he continued to talk, however, but jisoo didn’t want to seem rude by pausing mid-conversation. “the passage that was read for the second reading was actually one of my favourites, with jesus sharing his love for everyone by feeding all of the families with only one fish and one loaf of bread, so it’s easy to say that i enjoyed this mass more than others.”
the priest still stared over jisoo’s shoulder, squinting his eyes as he watched every person walk out of the church, chatting to each other about their enlightenment from the session with keen smiles blessing their faces. his mother had turned around too, and jisoo partially wondered what was causing the adults such commotion, and was inclined to turn around and watch with them. but, before he could move his head, a door closed, and the priest looked down upon him again.
“joshua, you are one of the most dedicated youths to this church in the village. i can’t recall any time you’ve missed a mass, and you’ve participated in the upbringing of children in the eyes of god. you truly are a blessing to the church and to god himself.” he began, each compliment making jisoo blush a little more each time. “i value every minute you’re inside this sacred building, and for that, i would like to thank you.”
“it’s my pleasure, father. i feel welcomed here, and where i feel welcome i shall call a second home.” jisoo responded softly, close to grinning as he wondered what the pastor was going to announce to him. maybe it was an offer to be an altar boy? jisoo had heard about children like that, devoting their time to holding the mass and making the churchgoers smile. he had always wanted to play the hymns for the audience, leading their happiness with each note of the song, and it would be a dream to recite his most prized passages, the ones that had shaped his character more than his parents.
“i’m glad to hear that, joshua. you’re always welcome in god’s arms.” the priest said, his smile widening slightly. “because of that, i had an idea to help you become more involved in the church and the events of mass. how would you like to become the church’s deacon?”
jisoo’s eyes lightened when he heard the offer from the priest, and he had to stop himself from bouncing. he had heard about deacons from storybooks and from rumours across villages, people say that they’re highly respected and well loved by the parish community, and that they are only a step below priesthood. he never thought that he would have the ability or skill to take upon such a rule, seeing as there were other men and women in the church who were more fitting for the role in his eyes.
“really? you’d want me to be the deacon?” he asked with delight, his eyes sparkling at the priest, who seemed pleased with the young boy’s reaction.
“yes, it would be an honour, joshua. but, there is a task that i would like to ask you to fulfill first.”
jisoo tilted his head like a confused kitten, unsure as to what the priest wanted him to do and why he was to do so. “like an initiation?”
“exactly, to prove your worth to god and the parish.” he answered, folding his arms and clearing his throat. “joshua, do you know about the vampire that lives on top of the western hill?”
jisoo nodded immediately after the priest had finished his sentence. it was a stupid question, there wasn’t a single soul who didn’t know about the count; the man who’s name could send shivers down even the strongest of men’s spines. jisoo knew that the count was feared by all, everyone scared that he would steal villagers from their families to become his victims. that was why no one left their houses after dusk, it wasn’t worth the risk of losing all of the blood in your body for the sake of some vampire’s hunger cravings. children were told the stories of the unfortunates from a young age, in order to drill the dangers into their gullible minds, which is why no child could be seen out in the streets after five’o clock. it was also why jisoo lacked many friends in his small village.
“well, to prove your devotion to god, you must sneak into the castle and stab the count in the heart.”
the boy’s breath staggered when he heard the priest speak, and he couldn’t tell whether he was being completely serious or not.
“y–you want me to kill the vampire?”
“yes, he is a threat to our village, and doing so would make you not only a village hero but also a heroic saint in the eyes of god.” he said sternly, his syntax clear as day. jisoo couldn’t believe the priest was being serious about such an act in such a sacred area.
“but didn’t god always say that murder was a sin? surely he would hate me for killing someone..” jisoo replied, tugging on his sleeve again. he diverted his eyes away from the priest, trying to digest the content he had been fed, but his mother tapped his shoulder and forced his gaze back up again.
“the vampire is a reckless monster and a child of hell, and any inconsiderate descendant of satan becomes an exception to this rule.” the priest counteracted his point, spitting at the very thought of the creature. “so, will you accept the task, joshua?”
jisoo stood and bit his lip, gripping tightly onto the sleeves of his shirt. he never dreamed of even hurting someone in his lifetime, let alone killing them. the dread of the blood staining his fingertips would probably haunt him for the rest of eternity, even if he supposedly went to heaven. all he truly wanted to do was read books and live life peacefully under god’s free will, yet now it was becoming contradictory, forcing him down a road he never would’ve dared to follow. if god really wanted him to kill, it would be his obligation to follow the rules; anything to lead the life he was destined to lead from birth. if he had to kill to find heaven, then he’ll have to complete the hellish question, whether he was opposed to the idea or not.
“...yes, father.”
the priest sprung up with instant delight once jisoo had responded positively, as if a light inside of him had suddenly flickered on. he grinned, whilst jisoo bore a subtle smile as he tried to absorb the heavy burden he had just signed to carry. his mother seemed equally as pleased, wrapping an arm around his waist and kissing his temple. he softened up a little when he felt his mother’s kiss.
turning around quickly, the priest went behind the altar and rushed to crouch and search for something. jisoo tried to peak over the top, hoping to catch a glimpse of what he was desperately searching for, but his mother’s grip on his waist restrained him from finding out the truth. the priest seemed eager to find the item, cacophonous clashes of glass and metal being rummaged through filling up the entirety of the church hall. it almost seemed like this was the moment he was waiting for, the plea of a tribute for such a dangerous quest finally being listened to by god. it somewhat made jisoo’s stomach hurl from the weight being pushed onto his shoulders.
the priest let out a joyous sigh as he discovered what he was looking for, and jisoo felt the air around him releasing the previous tension through the few open windows. he jumped up, his hands behind his back, and walked up to the young boy slowly with a smile on his face. a smile that didn’t leave jisoo feeling comfortable at all. nothing like the smile the librarian would give him as he walked into the world of books, and nothing like the smile his mother would give him after learning a section of the bible from memory. it seemed … inconspicuous.
“in order to kill the vampire, you must use a silver dagger. it stops the vampire from healing itself, and therefore makes defeating him an easier task for oneself.” he spoke nonchalantly, revealing a sparkling shard of metal from behind his back.
the weapon sat calmly against his palms, glaring back at him as he looked into the mirrored metal in front of him. the handle was delicately carved into, different shapes and swirls giving the dagger a calm character despite its intention. the boy moved his hand out to touch it, like the princess from the cursed tale, and instantly pulled away when the sharp point graced his fingertip. it was an easy killer, all it would need was one stab to have someone paralysed for eternity. jisoo didn’t feel worthy of possessing such a dangerous item, yet the priest still pushed it into his hands feverishly.
it came alongside a metal casing, disguising the treacherous danger that would evidently occur once the mystery was uncovered, dressed in intricate silver symbols of serpents and crossings, which could only remind jisoo of the story of genesis - which led the boy to pray that his fate didn’t follow the same path as eve’s. the scabbard alone felt too expensive, too exquisite, to be held in the village boy’s hands, the delicate metal seeming to belong to a king rather than a citizen. the heavy weight didn’t only distinguish the price, but it reminded jisoo of the heavy weight he would be carrying on his shoulders, knowing that murder was so wrong yet was deemed so right by his elders.
the dagger itself could be considered a piece of fine art rather than a weapon of destruction, the silver being clean and sparkly enough for jisoo to see every drop of sweat on his forehead through it. the black and silver decor was a dark contrast to the meticulous ruby at the head of the handle, crowning the dagger as if it was a royal sword. it carried the power and confidence that jisoo lacked at such a time, its presence alone acting as a magical force of protection for its wielder. jisoo stood silently for a minute as he admired the possession in his hands, trying to not be the first to draw blood with the dagger’s precise point.
“its a beauty, is it not?” the priest spoke up, jisoo unable to look up as he continued to be in awe at the craftsmanship. “it was specially designed for the church in case of emergencies, and now it’s yours to keep, jisoo.”
the boy looked up, sliding the scabbard on the sword as he hugged it close to his chest. “m-mine? i-i still don’t completely understand…”
jisoo’s mother patted him on the back and smiled, “don’t you see, jisoo? the whole church - no, the whole village - has faith in you to save us from the count in the castle. who knows when he could come down and devour the entirety of the village. you’re our protector, son.”
“after you kill the vampire, you’ll be that of a saint - not only to the village, but to god himself.” the priest smiled, hitting jisoo home with the boy’s dedication to his faith. “you don’t want to disappoint god, do you?”
“...no, father.” he said defeatedly, giving into the task completely if it meant god would be satisfied with his doing. “i’ll go to the castle tomorrow…”
“that’s my boy!” the priest responded with a wide smile, patting his head like he was a puppy learning his first trick. “you’ve made the right choice, jisoo; there’s no doubt about it.”
but even when jisoo was walking home, the dagger weighing down his body and causing his arms to slightly ache, and as he looked up to the stars where god was looking down on him and judging his decisions, jisoo still doubted his choice.
it was too late though; he had already made his mark, and it wouldn’t be too long until blood was drawn from it.