Chapter Text
Fhirdiad’s winters were cold, always so, so cold. The fresh snow was silver and white, tainted with bright red blood. Dimitri looked broken, as tears streamed down from his eyes. “No. No. No.” The King sobbed as he cradled his wounded queen close to his breast. “Please!” He said. “Please don’t go. Don’t leave me!” Byleth was always warm, so, so warm like the first kiss of sunlight when the sun rises; now that warmth was quickly fading, slipping through his fingers like sand in an hourglass.
“Someone! Get a healer or a chirurgeon!” Dimitri roared to his soldiers.
“A-at once Your Majesty!” One soldier sputtered before rushing to where the healers were.
“Dima,” Byleth rasped weakly as she reached out for his cheek. “it’s okay.” She smiled when Dimitri gently guided her hand to where she intended to go. “Don’t be afraid.”
“No. No. I refuse.” Dimitri sobbed. “No. I don’t want you to become one of them.” He pressed his nose to her hair, the pain in his chest began to swell like a dagger sinking inside his skin. He could bear the pain of a blade, losing her forever would be the death of him.
“I… will not be one of your regrets.” His sweet wife said. “I will not torment your dreams. I will instead sing you to sleep… if the voices become too loud. My voice… will be… louder. I prom...ise.”
His voice croaked and his throat dry. Words escape him. Where was the healer? Warm blood covered his hand. His hands were stained red again. The voices grew loud in his head like a ferocious storm. You could not protect her. You killed her. You killed her. You monster, you killed your own wife. You killed your queen and the mother of your child.
“I’m… I’m sorry.” Dimitri croaked. “I’m sorry…”
Byleth weakly traced the corner of his face with a finger. “I…,” She rasped as her breaths become staggered.
“If… if there’s another.. life,” His queen softly whispered. “A next life.” Dimitri’s eyes widened, tears flowing continuously; her warmth slowly fading, “Save your breath—” A request.
“Will you love me again?” A plea.
The hand on his cheek went limp and her eyes became glossy. “Beloved?” Dimitri stifled a sob and he heaved a breath. The walls broke and he let out a heartbreaking cry hoping the goddess and saints would hear his heart ache, praying for a miracle that she would live. His grief weighed him down like the world was once again on his shoulders. Dimitri peppered her face with kisses, a childish fantasy that he had that he would wake a sleeping princess from a curse; he was a prince, a king— why wouldn’t she wake from death’s grasp?
“Yes.” Dimitri finally replied to her plea. “I will love you again and again for a thousand lifetimes.”
“...ddyd.”
He remembers the funeral march from the castle to the cathedral. The mournful cries of his subjects grieving for their young queen. Dorothea and the choir sang a woeful dirge during the wake. The cold rain. The grey sky. Their son, still small and full of innocence asked why his mother was being buried; he did not have the heart (his heart was already gone, covered in dirt, in box six feet under) to tell that she was dead. The scent of lilies made him sick because it was a reminder of that his beloved was gone forever.
“Profe…”
He wore black ever since his queen’s death. Daily. Religiously. Texts written about his former life told that he entered a life of mourning and grief where he rarely made public appearances, never stepped out of Fhirdiad and entered a life of seclusion, only allowing a select few to see his presence. Dimitri was still king but he let his vassals and trusted peers to appear in his stead. He helped his—their—son to know what to expect when it was his turn to ascend the throne. He found solace on gardening and fishing, some of her hobbies but it was not the same without her. The happiness in his life became an endless void and a mournful cry.
Another book he found about his past self that he succumbed to illness. Others say and most people wrote that King Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd, the Savior King of Fódlan and the Lord High Commander of the Church of Seiros died of a broken heart because of his lifetime of grieving; and was buried next to his dear, beloved wife. At least, in that lifetime.
“Professor Blaiddyd.” A feminine voice snapped him out of his brooding stupor. A very familiar voice.
What.
“Are you alright?” The familiar voice said again.
“Yes, I am.” He said waving a hand dismissively. His head throbbed like it was being struck by a hammer. Again, the memories of the past plagued him. “Apologies,” Dimitri said eyes focused on his desk and the paper in front of him. “... I was just lost in thought.”
He heard a laugh which sounded ever so familiar. His cerulean eyes locked on the figure in his faculty office, a young woman with deep, evergreen hair and eyes colored like amethysts. Dimitri knew who it was. Her, she seemed she does not remember him.
In another lifetime, many moons ago, it was the opposite. He was a student at Garegg Mach, she was the mercenary-turned professor whom he met fending off bandits. He thought of her as the sun and he, the moon who graced in her orbit—two figures who cannot share the same sky; she did remind him that the sun willingly shares its light to the moon so the world could appreciate its beauty and wonder. He mistrusted her due to her past but soon he longed, pined, yearned for her when he got to know her better; a boyish crush turned into a one-sided romance the moment she smiled at him for the first time.
“Your essay,” Dimitri stated. “I took a look at it.” He scanned the paper again critically, back and forth from page to page. “Despite some minor mistakes, it looks good. Great, even.” He praised. “Wonderful job as always, Byleth.”
Byleth smiled and scratched the back of her neck. Dimitri straightened himself from his chair handed back the paper to the young woman. “Thank you, Professor Blaiddyd.” She said giddily. “You did help a teeny bit though.” The young woman added with a melodic laugh.
He couldn’t help but snort and her words made his heart bloom and flutter. “I was glad to be of assistance.”
“Are you married, Professor?” Byleth asked quizzically, eyes focused on the ring on his left finger. “It’s beautiful.”
Dimitri blinked taking notice of her gaze at the ring. He rubbed his hand out of habit, when he misses her, when his heart cries, he felt the ring burn. She was so close yet so far. She was at arms length but why won’t she remember. “Was.” Dimitri sighed not meeting her gaze. “Was married.” He added with sadness in his voice.
Byleth frowned and sputtered out, “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. You don’t talk much about your personal life… I didn’t mean to offend.”
“No need to apologize. I’m sure it wasn’t intentional.” Dimitri assured.
I’m here. My heart is crying for you, my light, my beloved. Please remember me...
“I’m sure they were wonderful.”
“She is.” He whispered. “She really is.”
Byleth smiled, “I wish if I have a special someone, they’ll be like you—devoted and charming.” Then she laughed. Oh her smile was still lovely and mesmerizing just like before and ever and always. “Your wife must’ve been the luckiest woman to marry you. You’re kind and honest. You’re devoted to her even though she's gone—I appreciate that.”
It’s the opposite. I was lucky. It was dumb luck she chose me. Despite what I did and done, she chose me.
“I don’t know if I should be offended or be flattered about that, Miss Eisner.” He joked.
She laughed again and his heart bloomed. Oh how he would move mountains to hear his beloved laugh and see her smile once more. “That’s really up to you, Professor.” Byleth replied.
Byleth rose from her seat and clutched the paper close. “I better get going, Professor.” She mused, tucking her hair behind her ears. “Have a good weekend!” She added as she smiled while waving goodbye before she made her way out of the office.
Dimitri gave her a small smile as she left. The blooming love he had felt earlier suddenly faded, it turned into ache that tightened around his chest. The weight of the ring band on his hand grew. He leaned back against his chair, hearing an audible creak. His eyes fixed on the ceiling fan above him and he relished the quiet. “Your smile is still mesmerizing.” He thought out loud.