Archive of Our Own ^beta

It's all straightforward in story books. At an acceptable age - maybe 16 or up to 20 - a pretty little mark will appear on your wrist or perhaps on your neck. Some time later, Fate will lead you to cross paths with the one person in the whole world whose mark matches your own. You two will inevitably fall in love, whether you wish it or not. And all will be bliss and joyful days.

An absolute crock of shit.

Even just looking at his immediate friends, Donghyun can cite:
   Donghan - who has thus far come across six people with the exact same tattoo-like mark as him, 

   Woong - whose irises drained of color when he was 14. Seven years later and all that's brought him is colour-blindness and myopia,

   Juri - whose red-string-of-fate led her all the way to Korea before blurring into a tangle that she hasn't been able to make any sense of two long years later.

Donghyun too. He was all of eleven, chasing his best friend around the playground one cloudy, close summer day, when for no obvious reason, his chest began to glow. A coruscating, glimmering pink, like the carnations his mom kept on their tiny balcony. At least, Donghyun thought as his friend laughed at him, it was a pretty color.

All his classmates had said (in mockery or in jealousy) that Donghyun would get a girlfriend soon. He'd find his soulmate and they'd get married and be gross together. The next day, they started mocking him that the art teacher (a happily married woman, by the way) was his soulmate. After that, that his then best friend was. Next, that his cousin who owned the fluffiest samoyed in all of Korea was. Because Donghyun's soulmate mark hadn't only arrived disgraciously early, it also seemed unsure what its purpose was in the first place. The pink lights in his chest turns itself on and off essentially at random, although it was more likely to glow when Donghyun's mood was good. During maths class: rarely a flicker. When his cousin with the samoyed took him to see the new Star Trek movie and bought him caramel popcorn: the ushers lent him their jackets to cover himself with because the rest of the audience had been complaining about the blinding pink glare. 

In ten years, Donghyun has had two girlfriends and a few boyfriends. None of them last long. He supposes he's hard to take seriously as a partner when his soulmate mark won't behave itself. The last person he dated was Yeonhee. She gave up after a few months. His light had seldom glowed when they kissed, but it invariably did when his roommates came home with nachos. How must that make a girl feel? She'd told him she believed in love and soulmates, and was starting to feel wrong about dating him when they clearly weren't each others. Donghyun feels that she was letting him off easy.

Nor does he blame her. He doesn't suppose he would have taken it especially well if her mark had suddenly appeared just because Juri bought her milk tea or something. Despite the way he is, Donghyun does believe in love too. He wants to find his soulmate. He wants a partner who'll be with him through thick and thin, that they'll cherish each other till the end of their days. But he reads online about people who only ever had a sibling-like relationship with their soulmate and wonders if that's him. Fine, ok, it's beautiful and precious and meaningful in its own right. But he already has his twin for a sibling bond. He dearly wants the romantic, inescapable love that Fate has been teasing him with for a decade now.

He sighs, long and slow. Who on earth, he figures, is he to tell the Fates what to do? He blinks at the cold, blue tabletop, trying to force his eyes to refocus. His glowy pink heart could mean anything or nothing. And there's nothing he can do about it. He lifts his head back to his computer screen and reads back what he's just typed.
"On the original frame Rossetti had inscribed his nacho explaining the symbolism [Cheese I], while... Oh hell." 

Pulling an all-nighter was supposed to help him finish his essays due. It won't help anything if he's like this. He shakes the can of Pepsi next to his computer. Hearing only a drop left inside, he downs it and hauls himself up to amble to the vending machines. He doesn't even like soda much, but a man has to live.

The room is dark, only a few electric lights buzzing through the night. The main cafeteria kitchens shut up about 9 pm. Then the vast seating area is just there for students to use if they need. Despite being in his third year, Donghyun hadn't known this until recently. Youngmin, Roommate One's little brother, Woojin, had had a fight with his friends. He lives in a large dorm on the other side of campus so could spend weeks hardly interacting with his big brother. Therfore, when a call came at 1 a.m. from Woojin, Youngmin was looking for his coat before he'd even answered his phone. Woojin had been distressed, on the verge of tears. Donghyun heard Youngmin say, "Where are you?... Look, we'll meet you halfway," and switched off the movie they'd been watching.

"I'm going too?" he asked when Youngmin hung up.

"Yes?" Youngmin scratched his neck sheepishly, "Please? It's late, I don't really want to walk there alone. And anyway, he interrupted our date, so..."

Donghyun had laughed shortly. Right, their roommate movie dates - a tradition when Woong, Roommate Two, spends the weekend back in Daejeon with his family. Donghyun obviously didn't believe that's what Youngmin was truly thinking about. He presumed Youngmin wanted some backup in dealing with a stressed-out little brother. But either way, he grabbed a jacket and a scarf (because it was still just cold enough for Youngmin to nag him if he neglected it) and strode into the spring night with his friend.

They bought beers and snacks at a convenience store and met Woojin lurking in a shadowy corner of the cafeteria. As they approached him, owing to the general gloom of the room, Donghyun had become aware of the soft pink light emanating from his chest and wondered when that had happened. It had felt inappropriate, taking into account that just from a glimpse anyone could tell how miserable Woojin was feeling. But the brothers are two of his favorite people and know he can't control what his heart chooses to do. Woojin only glanced. Youngmin, as ever, said nothing about it, merely placed a can in front of everyone and bid Woojin start talking. They had stayed there for hours, a warm bubble of pink in the dark chilly hall.

Donghyun stumbles into a chair. The metal screech resounds, drowning out Donghyun's quiet curse. It didn't hurt much. But a girl who had been sleeping on her arms at that same table jerks awake and squints at her surroundings in confusion. Donghyun mumbles an apology and hurries on.
That night with Woojin, there had been maybe two other people passing the night up here. Now exams are approaching, so there's around a dozen altogether - some murmuring in a group, huddled over their computer; a couple, like this girl, just passing the night; most making a solitary push, like Donghyun. Donghyun retrieves his freezing cold can and rolls it in his hands. The first gulp makes him shiver. He's not sure if the hall is really as cold as he thinks or if he's just tired. As he plods back to his spot, alone at a long table, he rubs some heat back into his arms even as the soda saps it away. He's not cut out for this. It's only half past two and he's already like this. He'd give anything for his duvet right now. And the sofa. And nachos. And Woong's updates from their hometown or Youngmin throwing an arm around his shoulders and showing off his photos, making Donghyun help him choose which ones to instagram. He drops into his hard seat and scans his notes scrawled in a notebook by his computer to remember how he's supposed to go on with this damn essay.

"Quote, Lowry," he mutters under his breath, "They are not real women... They are dreams... He used them for -" 

"Sorry, can you stop that?" 

Donghyun peeks up, eyes wide.

"Excuse me?" It's the girl he'd inadvertently woken up. She's holding her head up, a fist at her temple. Her long black hair is messy and she might be glowering or it might just be how she looks when she's half-asleep.

"The shiny-glowy thing. Can you stop?" 

Donghyun flushes. He hadn't noticed. What a weird time for that to start up. He's clearly not in a good mood, so what was his heart thinking about?

"Oh, sorry. No, I can't do anything about it. It'll fade in a minute or two, probably. Sorry."

She shrugs and puts her head down on the table, burying deeper into her folded arms this time to block Donghyun's wildly inappropriate soulmate mark. Donghyun takes another swig of Pepsi and makes himself focus. Pretty soon he's back in the swing of things, sentences settling on his screen, structuring themselves into a solid B grade essay. Disturbing that girl who doesn't want to go home wouldn't be the most awkward time his light's shown up. He can't let it bother him.

It shone when he moved out, on the bus taking him far away from his parents' house. He loves his family so he's never understood how to interpret that. It shone the day Woong drunkenly mistook Donghyun for his ex and socked him on the jaw. It even shone that day he was sitting in his room with a head cold, two duvets wrapped tightly around himself and Youngmin and Youngmin's girlfriend noisily breaking up in the sitting room. Donghyun knew they hadn't intended to fight - they were both mild-mannered, gentle people. Donghyun was worried about them both - but of course his roommate more so. Being as he was sick and snotty, Donghyun couldn't do much for Youngmin. But maybe they could get takeout, he pondered, and talk things out, all three of them if Woong came back from choir rather than get dinner with the members. Talking things out would be better than Youngmin leaving to drink on his own, thinking he ought not "bother" his roommates... Donghyun was raking over all these things, when he happened to rearrange his duvets and found himself glowing carmine pink. He curled up on his side, cringing with shame. Not wanting to see, he pulled the duvets up to his chin and clutched them there. He listened to the muffled sounds of Youngmin and his (now ex-) girlfriend's terse conversation, and willed his heart to stop being so embarrassing. (Not that it ever heeded him).

After some time, Donghyun has made good progress, but he's fading again. There are only five or six other people left in the cafeteria now. He scrapes his chair back and rubs at his eyes. His teeth feel nasty, so he can't bring himself to raid the vending machines again. Instead he gets his phone out of his backpack that's sitting on a chair beside him, and checks social media. Donghan posted some videos from the dance studio. Juri looks to be staying up watching a drama, live-tweeting in a confusing mix of Japanese and Korean. Woojin went shopping with some of his roommates earlier and his feed is all blurry snaps of his friends and he hanging out.

Woong has uploaded one photo. It's a couple of bags of Doritos, grated cheese in a bowl,  a tin of refried beans, a jar of chili sauce and a plate of various freshly sliced vegetables. The caption simply reads, 'madness luv'. Donghyun gasps. His fist is at his mouth as he checks Youngmin's feed. But there are no more pictures. He pouts at his screen. Did they have nachos without him? Youngmin's special homemade nachos, no less? Quite possibly he's overly emotional because of stress, lack of sleep, and an excess of soda. Nevertheless, he's fairly certain he will cry if they had nachos without him. Cry salt tears in their faces  

Donghyun gazes sadly at his computer screen. Well. If his roommates are enjoying themselves without him, then there really is nothing to do but make a final push on this essay. He slips his phone back in his bag and makes himself get back in the zone.

He gets 10 minutes. The aroma reaches him first. He doesn't acknowledge it right away. Presently, his fingers stumble on the keys as he realises why it's so particularly familiar. He cranes his neck around, feeling joints crack, and observes as Youngmin wanders over, a box in his hands and his backpack hanging on one shoulder. Donghyun smiles when their eyes meet and Youngmin grins back. Donghyun pulls out a chair for him and Youngmin swings into it. He places the box - a disposable meal container now Donghyun can see it - on the table. He opens it and inside is ugly-looking but transcendental-smelling food. Next, he retrieves a flask of hot coffee and a bundle of wooden cutlery from his bag before finally dumping it at his feet.

"It's gone 3a.m, why are you here?" Donghyun questions, laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation. Youngmin waves a hand to dismiss it - as if he isn't Donghyun's knight in (plaid) shining armour.

"Couldn't sleep." 

"Why not?" Donghyun asks, reaching out to squeeze his friend's shoulder.

"No reason, just thinking about stuff," Youngmin says plainly, scratching his neck. Donghyun spots the shy habit immediately and gives Youngmin's arm another squeeze. Whatever it is, he can't force his roommate to talk about it. Just so long as Youngmin knows Donghyun is here for him if he's ready. "Anyway, I thought you might need a boost." He slides the box towards Donghyun -  making the fragrance really hit his nostrils - and gestures for him to take one of the wooden forks by it. "Go on, eat."

"Coffee first, I think I'm dreaming," Donghyun declares. Youngmin laughs at his response, watching him pour some out and take a gulp. Noticing Youngmin's eyes on him, Donghyun prompts, "You too, Hyung. Eat."

But Youngmin shakes his head, resting his chin on his palm.

"Nah, you first. You have to tell me how well I did." 

Donghyun snorts. Even so, he gets himself a gigantic forkful of salty, spicy, pungent goodness. He doesn't have to try to show a reaction, humming contendedly at the taste. He really has the best roommates, the absolute best. Seeing as Youngmin is still simply staring at him, Donghyun digs out another forkful and holds it to Youngmin's chapped lips.

"You too," he insists. Youngmin rolls his eyes, but lets himself be fed once. They pass a long time like this, eating and chatting lightly about friends and school and anything, the dark night locked outside and themselves warm in each other's company.  

A table away, Kwon Eunbi lifts her head again, disorientated and confused about  what woke her up this time. The answer becomes immediately apparent. That weird boy is still there at his laptop, only now his friend (boyfriend?) is with him and that pink light has come back twice as strong as it had been earlier. Unnoticed, Eunbi scowls at them. How do they not react? Are they that used to one of them having a shiny pink torch in his chest? She sighs and it morphs into a fly-catching yawn. At least they're cute. Not that that makes her feel better. Here she is vacating the flat so her roommate can spend a romantic night with her girlfriend, and these two boys have to be all lovey dovey in her face. Grimacing, she picks herself up and gathers her few things. It's pushing 4am, she reckons she wouldn't have slept much more anyway. So she tramps away to find breakfast, tugging at her unruly hair, leaving the two boys swathed in their rose-like glow.