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She couldn’t speak.
For years, she had been seeing blood. Her friends eaten before her eyes, people being trampled, death and destruction, all of it. It hurt.
But this was beyond that.
Eren’s sobs cut her ears like freshly sharpened blades. Armin. It couldn’t be. Not Armin.
Mikasa’s knees refused to stay stiff. She dropped to the ground, gazing at his burnt body, turned to charcoal.
“Armin!” Eren yelled desperately, “Captain!”
Levi’s hesitant and shaking hands brought forth the serum to Eren.
Mikasa felt a cold, slicing shiver throughly go through her body. They were right here.
Suddenly she could remember it so well as if it had been yesterday. They were right here and he was being beaten up. She had held Eren back and saved Armin.
But why had she failed now?
His determined voice rang throughout her ears and her cheeks burnt where the drops fell.
Their childhood was so vibrant in the blood soaked streets which were once neat and homely. Was she going to lose him, too?
She had considered losing Eren. The prospect had been so horrifying she vowed to do everything to prevent it from happening. Ever. Never had she considered that she’d lose Armin. He had always seemed to be an inseparable part of them. Of her.
And now, she was going to lose him.
Mikasa had warmed up to Eren’s best friend within days of meeting him. She was repulsed by people crossing her personal boundaries but when Armin’s excited, tiny hands slipped their friendship bracelet up her wrist, she didn’t complain. It made her happy.
“We’ll wear them until we die!” Eren exclaimed enthusiastically.
“Don’t say that!” Armin protested.
“Thanks Armin,” Mikasa said slowly , smiling.
He smiled back.
“I’m gonna marry him,” she thought
Mikasa struggled to free herself but Hange’s grip was strong.
“You have to let go,” they said and Mikasa could tell the tiredness in their voice wasn’t from physical exertion.
“No…”
He was leaving her.
He was leaving her, and she never got to tell him.
She had always loved Armin, even though it took her til now to find out.
Levi and Hange were only paying attention to Erwin as his body emerged from the titan’s evaporating body. The 104th only had eyes for Armin.
Eren shed tear upon tear, quietly, as he hugged Armin’s burnt corpse. One of Mikasa’s hand was on his shoulder and the other was entwined with Armin’s, holding it gently. She held both Eren and Armin close, her eyes flooding.
With all the damage, the silver of the friendship bracelet, relic of their childhood, glowed on Armin’s wrist. With shaking hands Mikasa picked it up and kissed it.
The sun was brightest on the ocean. It was so vast there was no telling where it’d end.
Just like his eyes.
Eren and Mikasa were both close to each other, alone with him. The sand was dug deep in a suitable place. Eren’s hand was tightly gripped around the burnt bracelet.
In her tender hold, Mikasa scooped up his body and lowered it down. Eren nodded with a face devoid of color and they began to fill up his grave.
Armin would finally be able to rest.
Eren wiped the sand off his clothes and embraced Mikasa. Armin had fulfilled his promise. He would, too. So would Mikasa.
“I know,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry,” his voice broke.
Mikasa patted his back.
They sat beside his grave for hours, each quietly reminiscing their days beautifully spent with Armin.
The sun was setting against a violently pink sky.
“You go,” Mikasa’s voice came out dry.
Eren headed her and walked towards the horses on the other side of the wall, wiping his tears.
Mikasa scooped up the glittering gold sand from his resting place.
Sand raced though her hair and face to every inch of her body. She had no regard for how uncomfortable it made her.
“Wait for me, Armin.”