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Papyrus walked out of the kitchen to find... The Sock. Again. It was still there. Even after they moved to the surface, the sock and all the accompanying sticky notes were brought along and placed back on their new TV room floor in Newest Home. It wasn't the first time he saw it here. In fact it had been here for a while! So long he already had to clean the dust off the existing sticky notes!
That was one unsettling fact about the surface. Who knew it was covered in a material similar to the ashes of fallen monsters? It freaked him out. Be still he didn't move them... it was the principle of the thing! But maybe, maybe he'll try one more time.
"SANS! PICK UP YOUR SOCK! I MEAN IT! SOCKS BELONG ON YOUR FEET, NOT ON THE FLOOR!"
...Silence. He must not be home.
The skeleton sighed and wrote one final note for the sticky note chain. "SANS, UNLESS IT IS ON YOUR FOOT, I DON'T WANT TO SEE THIS SOCK EVER AGAIN.PLEASE TAKE CARE OF IT." With that, he finished and went off to his job as the mascot for monster-kind.
...
Papyrus later returned that summer afternoon and instead of seeing the sock gone, a new sticky note was present. The response was "okay."
The taller brother picked up the sock only to find his brother's foot inside. "OH! MY! GOD!!!!!"
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Sans snicked from upstairs where he had previously hobbled. He loved a good joke.
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You know what? Papyrus didn't care anymore. He gathered up the pile of a joke gone weird and headed outside The sticky notes went into the trash, while he dumped the sock-covered foot into the wash basin. He poured in a bit of borax soap, and then let the water hose fill up the container.
Sans suddenly jerked up in his bed as the hot water hit his foot. The garden hose was sitting in the sun all day and just as it was starting to get uncomfortable, the temperature dropped down as fresh water poured in. It was like soaking his feet.
There was a moment of silence as he heard his brother move around, but soon he felt other materials dropped into the basin next to his foot. Soon, next thing he knew, his brother was mixing them all around. It was the strangest feeling. Of his one foot in the water in a constant state of tumbling. Passing by different articles of clothing. He couldn't feel the texture of them, as he was still wearing the sock. It wasn't until he felt the air, that he realized it was his turn to be washed.
"HEPH-" slapping his hand over his mouth. he could only image what was happening as he felt his foot being pressed against the washboard.
He had never seen it, he never did laundry! It hurt a little, but man did it tickle! It started on the tops of his toes, and around his ankle, but as it moved to the sole of his foot, he erupted into a small fit of giggles.
There was a pause, and Sans took a breath.
"Oh man, that sure did tickle my funn-ehehehehehe *snort* -hehwhaa-?"
His brother was at it again. It stopped, it started, it stopped, it started.
"Geeze papsssuhuhss--- Is it not clean enouhhuhuhah?" He asked between giggles.
His brother couldn't hear him, he was outside. But something was different. After a final stop, he could hear his brother clearly shout. "SANS! DID YOU DECORATE TRADITIONAL SOCK PATTERN ON YOUR WHITE SOCK WITH KETCHUP?!?! WHY?!?!?"
Oh. That sounds like something he would do. He did. He did that back in Snowden. He did that so long ago he forgot. He dipped the toes and heel in ketchup and even drizzled a few lines around the top of the ankle. He felt a slight unease. He should probably take his foot back.
"BROTHER, I SWEAR!" Sans felt his foot moving around for a while until it plopped into another bucket of cold water. He then felt it bounce around as another liquid joined the bucket. And then... Nothing. Papyrus had other things to do and that needed to soak. The sun shinned on the bucket and slowly warmed back to a comfortable temperature over time.
Oh. Well. He was happy about that. But the joke went on long enough. He figured the chemical his brother added was probably bleach, so he decided he would just teleport somewhere so his foot wouldn't be mis-matched. He rolled out of bed and promptly disappeared.
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"Sansy!" Sans looked to his right and there was DrunkBunny, getting another drink.
"hey db, always the life of the party, huh?"
"No Sansy, you know that's you~"
"nah." He replied "i'm a skeleton, so i'm not even alive " The was a roar of laughter in response from the entire bar. It wasn't the first time he told this joke. But it always hit home.
After a few hours and a few drinks, he felt a tap on his shoulder. "Grillby says he missed you" said the pink bird to his left.
Confused, Sans looked to his buddy, whom he had been joking with and buying drinks from this whole time. "oh gribble, i know sometimes it feels like no-body is around, but i still am the bones of our relationship"
Another fit of laughter from the group, but this time not exactly at Sans. The fire monster pointed just slightly to the left of him on the floor. There was a plate of fries and a burg sitting there. Grillby had literally missed where he was sliding his meal.
"geeze grills, i asked for a burg, not a slider " another joke, another laugh "i'll get it-" and he hopped off his seat.... and directly on to the floor.
There was a chorus of gasps as Sans never really falls like that. His foot! His foot was still in that bucket. It's been soaking this whole time. He quickly reached over and pulled his plate off the ground and lifted it up on a nearby empty table. Then, using his arms, he scooted himself into an empty booth
"well, i'd say i have two left feet , but in this case i only have one " Another laughter, but as if an unspoken language was used, everyone turned back to their tables and went on with their own business. The thing is, when Sans sits at the front with Grillby, he is the greatest social butterfly that ever existed. When he sits at a table, he gets more serious and monsters tend to leave him alone. And they understood; he just made a fool of himself and he needed to save face.
Only then, hamster punk came by and asked if he was okay. The skeleton waved him off, but the monster lowered his glasses "Dude, where did you foot go, do you need help?" Sans' ever existent smile slanted. This punk wasn't following the rules. "It's still sleeping , it'll catch up later. Now, sorry to be short with you, but can I enjoy my meal in one piece ?"
The hamster hesitated, but soon left. He stared at his burger. It took awhile for it to cook up and he wasn’t ready to leave yet. Not now that he was actually paying for his meals at the time they were ordered. The surface was kind to monsters once they realized they had gold. He he could support his family without working three jobs. But Grillby also needed him to pay his bills if he was going to be here more often now that he didn't have any excuse. Still, his mood was a little sour. If only he had a drink…
And as if on cue, a fishy arm lowered a bottle of ketchup onto his table. His bottle. The one that was spiked with a little magic. Looking up, the fin was gone and the buzz of the pub continued as though nothing had happened. Oh man, he loved his bar. He took a swig of his drink and a bite of his burger and was in heaven.
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Finished with his burg, but still on his fries, sans felt more relaxed, but didn’t feel like leaving his sulking bench just yet. The magic felt good He liked being buzzed by himself but still surrounded by others. He yawned, stretched, and kicked his leg a little. Sometimes his bones would get crumbs in them when they fell down his socks. But... the crumbs didn’t go away.
His ankle felt weird. Itchy. He looked down and noticed he didn’t even have a foot. HE DIDN’T HAVE A FOO- oh wait. He remembered why he was sulking in the first place. He didn’t have a foot. Geeze, that magic is strong, today.
He shrugged and drizzled the ketchup on his fries. After a while, the itching stopped he put a fry to his mouth only to stop “hhhhheheh….!” he slammed his hand over his mouth. What was that?? On his heel? On the side of his foot? It was all over the ball of his foot! What was it? Some kind of tool?? It was scrubbing. This wasn’t the washboard.
Occasionally his silent giggles died down as the unknown tool was hitting the less sensitive parts of his foot, like the back and where the ball of his foot touched the ground directly. Other times it would hit the sides or near the rest of his foot and he had to bury his head on the table as he was overcome with silent shrieks and giggles. Nobody looked over at him. It was an unspoken rule to leave the skeleton alone. He wasn’t worried about them looking, but he was worried about them hearing.
Now the smart thing would be to teleport home, take his foot back, and then return to bar like nothing happened. But smart was about two bottles ago. Right now, all he could think about was that that object was! Small? Narrow? Scrubbing? He realized what it was the moment it hit his toes.
TOOTH BRUSH. He was scrubbing the ketchup off with a toothbrush!!
“Ehauhehehe- *srt* aueh-nuhahehe~” He shook his head back and forth as the brush was trying to remove the old ketchup. The skeleton pulled his hoodie over his head and tried to play it cool. The bar was loud and no one heard him--- yet. The scrubbing was slow and methodical. Clearly it was scraping off any dried on ketchup waste from every square centimeter.
“pahueh-pahpp-sss-suhhhehehe!-” The brush scrubbed along his feet, slowly moving towards his big toe from his pinky. His brother was just trying to get the ketchup off, but every press went through the sock and between his toes.
He didn’t want to leave, his brother was almost done and he still had half a drink left. And as his brother scrubbed the final toe, he let loose a little squeal as the final amount of ketchup was removed from the tip of his toe.
A fire monster moved from behind the counter and headed over to his booth. Sometimes, the skeleton fell asleep and would have nightmares. But this nightmare sound was new and he had to make sure he was okay.
The scrubbing had stopped. He felt his foot moving, but soon felt water pouring on it.
The bartender signed in question if the skeleton was okay.
In return, the flustered skeleton held his hand flat, fingers separated and pointed his thumb to his chest to sign ‘fine’. As he pulled his hand away from him, the hand shook around as he felt two thumbs press into his foot. A pause. Papyrus was rubbing the material out. It didn’t tickle, but he was still nervous and sensitive from the previous onslaught. He figured it was best to get out of there. He chugged the remains of his bottle so he didn’t have to use that as an excuse.
However, Grillby continued to sign that he knew things were different on the surface, and he noticed sans was acting strange today and was actually genuinely worried about…. Blah blah blah. The magic hit him hard and all he could focus on was his poor foot getting a massage under the running water right now, not knowing when or if the toothbrush would come back and-
“...s..a..n..s..” the monster spoke. Oh. Oh. His foot was left alone and here he was ignoring his friend showing concern. “s-sorry grilbs, i drifted off. i was uh, i wasn’t paying attention. you see i uh, was playing a joke on my brother and that’s where my foot is. nothing bad happened i swear. i just need some sleep, maybe go home and-”
His hand suddenly slammed on the table. On his ankle, he suddenly felt a cold , pasty material and the tooth brush again. But it was firmer. And round. And VIBRATING.
“sorrygrillbsigottago-” He fell down with the intent to teleport back home. Instead he just slid to the floor as he quickly tried to sober up. Of course the ketchup stained the sock. Of course Papyrus would need to treat the strain mechanically. He needed to get through the door frame, NOW.
As well as you could with one foot, sans quickly shot up and hobbled for the door. His ankle was just itchy right now, but he wasn’t worried about the ankle. He felt his foot getting turned around quickly as it seemed the treatment was working. Just as he was about to leave, he felt a warm hand on his shoulder. The fire monster signed that he should go to bed right away. And like a sober, totally sane monster would reply, sans answered
“yEAP!” and fell out of the door where he disappeared.
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His face hit the pillow as he erupted into a fit of laughter. It was on his heel again! It was intense and vibrated and had no mercy. It wasn’t like a human foot with skin that would absorb the vibrations, it was just bone! He was basically polishing his heel!
“Puh---puhpyruhhhshsss aiiiiehehehe giivehehevehh*snort* ueahahuhhhehehe!”
There was no answer. Well, of course not. Grillby mentioned going to bed and so sans teleported right there. Papyrus wasn’t there. He needed to get outside!
“Eia-ckha-hah-ckkkk!” it was on the inside of his foot- it was on the sensitive part of his heel! His body shook as he clenched the sheets. He began to sit up, but then fell down again, giggling his head off. Of course he scrubbing every square inch the whole heel was stained!
After a moment of giggle, sans took a breath and realized what was next. Quickly sitting up, he fell off his bed and landed outside near the wash basin.
“*wheeze*papyrus, please i-” his heart sunk. His brother wasn’t there. His brother wasn’t near the laundry or outside at all!
The birds were singing. The flowers were blooming. On days like these…. Skeletons shriek into the pillow they accidently took with them.
“noouhmygohahahaddNOEAHUGH-” *snort* birds looked down curiously as a skeleton corpse laid face down on the pillow but kicked his legs repeatedly into the ground.
“NOTTHETOEEHSSEHSHEHEHAHA-” The laughter went silent, but the shaking of his shoulders implied he was still laughing.
“EhuhhuhheahaaaEIIINAHNO-” a hiccup, a wheeze. “-AHAHNOPAPAHAHAUHE”. A hiccup, silent laughter, a wheeze. “Srkkkhahahaiamognna-ngahaheh!”
The brush stopped, only to turn on occasionally for a new taps here and there. A wash of water and a few squeezes to wring out the water. He was finally done.
Sans huffed and tried to catch his breath as he heard his brother behind him. “IT’S TOO LATE BROTHER, I ALREADY WASHED IT.”
The taller skeleton then appeared to hang the sock and foot by a clothespin to air dry.
"i-ive been... de-feeted..." he called out, with the last of his energy.
“REALLY BROTHER, YOU’RE SO DRAMATIC.”