Archive of Our Own ^beta

The one that goes away

Out of all the things Seokjin had asked him along the years, this must be the most ridiculous one. Which, considering the type of person Seokjin was, was saying something. It could almost top that one time Jimin got bribed by the older with a monthly delivery of coffee (exams season was approaching so it seemed like a good deal at the time) in exchange of going to a cosplay contest with him. Needless to say, Jimin regretted his life choices when it turned out Seokjin had wanted him merely because he could be the Chopper to his Luffy (it was embarrassing as fuck but what was more embarrassing was how they won the contest).

But this.

Jimin had his arms crossed, resting heavily on the coffee table, and his feet were tapping the floor in irritation. He should have known better, he should have imagined that If Seokjin had gifted him the biggest and fluffiest coffee beverage that existed, with whipped cream, it most likely hid an extra request. 

Yes, coffee worked, even now that he had long left behind his college days and he was a responsible, reliable and very boring adult. Which was the reason Seokjin had invited him after work to a coffee shop instead of trying his hand with alcohol. Alcohol would just turn Jimin into a fluffy lazy little thing. Coffee could instead fix whatever douchey mood Jimin had, above all when accompanied with pastries.

Jimin bit the inside of his cheek. Seokjin knew him too well. But he knew Seokjin too and the facial expression he was wearing, even wobbling pathetically his bottom lip, screamed trouble from a mile away.

“No.”

“C'mon! You are the best person I know!” Seokjin whined. Jimin stopped himself from dramatically pinching the bridge of his nose. He was 30 for god' sake. This dude in front of him? Was 32. They were way too old for this.

“Wrong. I am the best person you know, who you think would give in,” Jimin retorted raising his eyebrow.

 He saw Seokjin’s facade start to crumble and turn into a conspiratorial one.

“Fine, you are not the only best person I know, but I can't ask the others. Namjoon would scare the poor kid to death with his speeches, Yoongi would just make him drink till he passed out, as for Taehyung and Hoseok...I mean they are great guys but they would probably end up encouraging him, which is the opposite of what I am trying to accomplish here,” Seokjin concluded before cupping his own face with his hands and fixing his eyes on Jimin. “Which leaves you.”

“I'm glad to be your rebound, hyung,” Jimin said with a flat tone. He wanted to scoff but that would lower him to the same level of childness of Seokjin and he refused.

“Now, I know your praise kink runs deep, but don't make me flatter you just to convince you to hear me out,” Seokjin commented.

“And this is my cue to go. You missed whatever chance you had, hyung. Bye,” Jimin said waving his hand before he stood up.

“Wait, wait, I was joking ok? I'm really desperate here! Just say your price and I will do whatever it takes,” Seokjin cried out. Jimin sat back down, a little taken aback.

“Hyung are you sure you are reacting to this the right way?” Jimin asked a bit worried. He saw Seokjin abandon every pretense as he retreated back on his seat, letting out a sigh. “My aunt and my uncle are very worried. He is their only child and they are afraid that when they are no longer here, their son would be left alone and unarmed against the big scary world.”

“Isn't he only 22. He is young. He doesn't necessarily need to have everything sorted out right now,” Jimin tried to reason. 

The adults, his parents included, liked to talk about life planning and right choices all the time, and it wasn’t like Jimin didn’t understand where they were coming from. They spoke out of concern and love. Yet he also knew that when he was 21 he didn't have any idea about what he wanted for himself and ended up doing what they wanted him to do. Now he was 30 years old and it was too late to set his life to another path. Taking time didn’t sound like such a bad idea.

“His family thinks he is wasting a chance in a period of life when is important to put seeds. And I kind of agree with them. He just rejected a place at Stanford,” Seokjin said passing a hand over his face. Jimin almost whistled at that. Ok, he understood the dude's family concern. That was definitely a big deal and in the light of this new piece of information Jimin was feeling his resolution starting to wobble.

Goddamn.

“Ah, Jin hyung. Even if I agree to do it, and I am not saying that I will, what makes you think he would be inclined to listen to me? A stranger and a total outsider. Since when youngsters even listen to their elders?” Jimin tried.

“You were his favorite hyung don't you remember? ” Seokjin said with fondness as his mind probably went back to those hot summers spent at his grandma patio with Jimin and his cousins.

“That was when I was 17 and he was 9, hyung. In the youngsters' eyes, Hyungs stop looking cool once they reach the quarter of the century and unless you forgot my age, I passed that line long ago,” Jimin commented skeptically and maybe a bit hurt by his own statement.

The thing was, he remembered. 

He remembered hot summers and how the rusty fans of Jin's grandma old house seemed so insufficient, and how he and Jin used to buy popsicles for everyone. He remembered that particular cousin of Jin, how could he not remember him? He used to follow Jimin around, like a little duckling behind his mom duck. It was too cute to even start to be annoying, even when the kid interrupted Jimin's conversation with Jin most of the times. It would be a pity if the kid didn’t remember.

“You do remember that I'm older than you, do you?” Seokjin asked making such a face Jimin couldn't help but laugh.

Jin threw his napkin at him.

“Maybe it's like you say. Maybe he won't listen to you, like he was deaf to my words. But he used to look up to you a lot, and even when he antagonized everyone in his kid stubbornness, somehow you always managed to make him listen to you. What hurt can it bring to try? I wasn't kidding when I said you are the best person I know. You worked hard. Even when your family couldn’t help you bear with the college fees, you found a job to lighten their burden. You were the first of your course and you snatched an important internship only because of your merit. You are a healthy and functional adult, you pay your taxes, help your family when you can, and you are perfectly capable to fend for yourself in this big bad world. You...”

“I'm not a life coach, hyung. I don't think I should go around imposing my lifestyle to others,” Jimin sighed. “everyone should be free to make their choices and stick to those.”

“That's what I am talking about. I'm not talking about career paths or the right kind of jobs, if that is actually a thing. I'm talking about responsibilities. I'm talking about being the adult everyone is bound to be.”

Jimin lips sealed painfully in a straight line. What Seokjin had just said was the truth, he did everything his hyung had just said. Yet, Jimin didn't find anything exceptionally praiseworthy in what he did. Jimin had just done what every respectful son would do: follow his parents' wishes and fulfill his duty as a son at the best of his possibilities.

Yet there was another truth that nobody suspected but that Jimin knew far too well. He was ashamed of it and he kept it under lock, buried in his heart in hope nobody, not even himself, would see it.

Unfortunately, when he thought about the right words he could summon to avoid the favor Seokjin was asking him, he found himself completely at loss.

He couldn't deny that he indeed was a good example of adulthood. Everything that the word entailed. Everything. Even the downside.

“Just talk to him, please. I swear I will buy you a new coffee machine. The new fancy one I saw you ogling last week!” Seokjin pleaded.

Jimin sighed once again, he was doomed.

“Fine. I will talk to him. I will talk to Jungkook.”

Seokjin's yelp of joy was so loud, half of the coffee shops customers turned to stare at them. 

Jimin covered his face. 

Why did he have the dread feeling he was about to venture himself in a big fat mess?

The last time Jimin had seen Jungkook, he was 19 and Jungkook was ten. It had been his last summer spent at Seokjin's grandma’s house. Jimin was soon going to college and Seokjin was about to discuss his thesis for his bachelor degree and move to greater things, so he wouldn't have been able to get back home. Given that Jimin had already mentalized himself on working during summer breaks, that particular summer had felt a lot like a goodbye from his childhood days.

Seokjin and Jimin were only children and on top of that, they came from hard-working parents. Yet if it weren't for each other they would have grown a lot lonelier. Seokjin's grandma’s house had been a shelter for all the other single children of Seokjin's family. Among the other three younger cousins of his friend, Jimin remembered Jungkook the best, even now after all those years.

Above all, he remembered well how bad he had felt when he had told the kid that this was going to be his last summer there. Jungkook hadn't cried, not even a teardrop fell from his eyes, but his whole face had scrunched up in an attempt to control his emotions.

Jungkook hadn't come to say goodbye to him the last day of the holidays even when Jimin had waited at Seokjin's grandma’s house to give him his gift. His old skateboard, the one Jungkook had always pleaded with Jimin to let him use.

So, Jimin left his skateboard to Seokjin's grandma, along with a post-it with a clumsy written 'use it well', before going back home where his father was waiting for him to load his luggage in the car.

Jimin found Jungkook's bracelet later, hidden in one of his suitcase. The one Jungkook never took off, because it was the lucky charm his father gave him after one of his unending work trips.

To this day, Jimin still had it. Safely tucked at the bottom of the drawer in his nightstand.

More than ten years had passed since, and Jimin knew it was completely possible that Jungkook didn't remember him at all. After all, he was only a kid back then, and Jimin was only his cousin's friend and neighbor, who Jungkook found cool. Yet, Jimin hoped.

However, even if he liked the idea of seeing Jungkook again, the more he thought about the whole ordeal, the more ridiculous it sounded. He might have been a neat adult but he was far from being a role model. Seokjin might have been out of his mind to ask him this, and he himself must have been even more delusional to comply.

He was so busy pacing back and forth down the main hall of the mall where he had agreed to meet with Seokjin and his baby cousin Jungkook, that he didn't notice them approaching.

That was how he almost risked bumping his hose on the young man's sturdy chest.

“Holy shit, sorry,” Jimin was quick to apologize with what he hoped was a not so awkward smile. He took a step back, with the intention to just dart the other way around, when his gaze finally landed on Seokjin laughing face. He was standing next to the person whose chest had almost broken his nose.

“I guess this is what you call an introduction with impact,” Seokjin commented, still kind of laughing. Jimin felt his smile freeze on his face, and he could feel the movement his eyes did when they moved from Seokjin to the other person.

This.

This couldn't be it, for God's sake. 

There was no way the awfully handsome young man in front of him was the kid he remembered. There was no way Jeon Jungkook now looked like that, Jimin thought, internally screaming.

This young man (boy?) was really something.

His jeans had more holes than actual fabric, his shirt was probably two sizes bigger than him and he seemed a bit too fond of the black color. But overall, he looked, in absence of a better term, hot. The type of guy a ten years younger version of himself would have totally tried to seduce.

The thing was, Jimin wasn't ten years younger but ten years older, he was a thirty-year-old functioning adult, even though he currently couldn't swear about the functioning part, who was supposed to be a life advisor to this young man. Haha. Such a joke.

“Jungkook,” Jimin exclaimed, “long time no see. The last time I saw you, you were ten and barely taller than my elbow. I can see you grew up well,” he forced his smile to be even bigger. Maybe too well.

“Park Jimin?” Jungkook asked in a way too manly voice, despite his boyish looks, as he scanned him up and down. Jimin decided to overlook how Jungkook had forgotten to address him with an honorific, and also ignore the way Jungkook was eyeing him - his stare was so inquisitive he felt rather awkward.

Instead, Jimin tried to keep a friendly stare, as he attempted to recognize in this new Jungkook what he remembered of the kid he once knew. Maybe the way his nose got endearingly wrinkled every time he was thinking hard, just like he was doing at that moment.

“You are so short! Are you sure you are 30?” Now, Jimin had expected many things from Jungkook, but not him mocking Jimin for something as childish as height. And no, it wasn't like he had spent the last ten years eyeing his friend Namjoon’s long legs with envy, as he was made fun of for his height throughout high school. 

In short, everybody and their aunts knew Jimin had a height complex. Judging from the way Seokjin facepalmed he was starting to regret his life choices too.

“Jungkook! You brat! Respect your elders, what are you, five?” Seokjin scolded him at the same time he hit his nape.

“Hey, I wasn't trying to be rude! It's just that the Jimin hyung I remembered felt tall like a giant. I was just surprised!” Jungkook almost whined. 

“Sorry Jimin-sshi, I wasn't trying to be rude,” Jungkook added with sudden impeccable manners, bowing down ninety degrees.

“There, there," Jimin said awkwardly as he made Jungkook stand up. Not even during festivities, he was greeted so formally. "And please call me hyung."

“Thanks, hyung. It would have felt very weird to call you ajusshi considering your baby face,” Jungkook added with a smile, making Seokjin facepalm once again in shame. “What did I do now?” Jungkook whispered to his older cousin, his eyes becoming impossible wide with childlike surprise.

Ah. That. This was his Jungkook. The way his eyes became huge whenever he caused trouble, which back in the day happened all the time. Without realizing Jimin had broken in a fit of giggles. 

“Jin hyung, it's fine. Let's go drink some coffee, shall we?” Jimin proposed after he found his breathe again.

“I'm not too fond of coffee,” Jungkook blurted out, but seemingly sensing the laser glare Seokjin was throwing his way, he added,” but I guess I can order some other beverage. So let's go, yes!” 

Jimin found himself intrigued, and despite the embarrassing introduction, also kind of amused.

What was this. Was it really possible to completely lack any brain to mouth filter, like it seemed in Jungkook's case? 

As Jungkook casually threw an arm around him like they were two friends, and not two people meeting again after a decade, he asked himself if all that time spent abroad could have ended up influencing Jungkook's behavior so much. Jimin knew he had to feel outraged by the younger too easy-going attitude, but he found himself more curious than pissed off. 

There weren't malevolence vibes coming from Jungkook, and he genuinely looked relaxed and comfortable. 

Despite that, Jimin rigidly walked by his side.It felt odd to have him in such proximity. He threw a furtive glance towards Seokjin, who shook his head as if to say “he is like that”.

They didn't wander far. Seokjin smartly guided them towards the first coffee shop they found, eager to sit down and just start their show. 

The plan was for Seokjin to fake a sudden work emergency that would conveniently leave Jimin alone with Jungkook. He had believed the plan pretty ridiculous even back then, but now that he had Jungkook seated in front of him, Jimin was completely sure that it would never work.

Jungkook looked too smart and bright for him not to sniff something was going on. Jimin stole some glances at him as he tried to get some kind of impression out of him that could help him succeed in what he had to do. But Jungkook had returned each of his glances as if he were aware he was under a study lense. Yes, definitely too smart, Jimin thought. Then again it shouldn't have been a surprise, considering he was admitted to Stanford for his master degree.  

They sat in a corner of the coffee shop, and luckily, they were saved from an awkward silence thanks to the instantaneous intervention of the waiter who had come to get their orders. As the waiter went away to prepare them, Jimin decided it was time to put his social abilities at work. 

He had been living like a monk for the past two years, as work and breakups had piled all over him to form a block of the size of twenty floors building, but there was a time when Jimin was a social butterfly, able to put at ease whatever lost and shy wanderer that crossed his path.

“So Jungkook, what are you doing? Seokjin told me you are studying in the States. That's a big accomplishment,” Jimin said knowing how all the best encounters started with praise. Jungkook didn't look elated at all, he actually gave the very first negative inflection of the day as he let out a chuckle.

“I was studying in the States, yeah. I've finished over a year ago and I started to work immediately after, been moving around a lot. Pretty sure I've been summoned to South Korea because of that.”

Jimin wore his best unfazed mask as he tried not to be affected by the sarcastic tone.

“Wow. Sounds interesting, are you planning to stay here then? Seokjin told me you have a bachelor degree in economics, I don't think it would be a problem for you to find a job, they are looking for new staff at my firm, if you are interested,” Jimin added with a cheerful and encouraging tone. 

“As I mentioned to you before, Jimin works for one of the most famous financial consulting agencies in Seoul. He recently got promoted and he's the youngest head team in there,” Seokjin explained with a touch of pride that made Jimin blush. 

It was true that he was the youngest to have ever received a promotion but Seokjin didn't know that it was less his merit and more due to his workaholic tendencies. He guessed he deserved the recognition but, well. It certainly wasn't like receiving a prestigious scholarship at Stanford, Jimin thought. He asked himself again why he had agreed to do all this. 

“It's not a big deal,”Jimin replied bashfully.

“Why not? It's the result of your hard work, isn't it?” Jungkook commented inclining his head as he was the one assessing him now. “I remember you used to say that you wanted to go far. I guess you did it, Jimin hyung.”

Jimin was left taken aback for a moment. He did remember blabbering about his ambitions when he was seventeen. He still believed then, that everything was at his grasp if he only put his best effort. Yet he didn't think Jungkook had been listening given how he used to play video games back then. 

He didn't have a job office in mind when he was talking about going far in life.

From a certain perspective, his life looked good though. It wasn't what he had pictured in his mind, in his wildest dreams as a youngster, but when you are young you don't think about adulthood, only about growing big. Again they were saved from falling into another awkward moment by the waiter who came back with their orders. A large americano for him, a pastry for Seokjin and a huge bubble tea for Jungkook. Maybe they weren’t all social butterflies but they sure knew how to eat, and for the next ten minutes, eat they did. 

Seokjin asked him some silly questions about his weekend activities and Jimin asked him about his fiance, both trying hard to keep the conversation going as Jungkook stared at them, his eyes moving from one to another as he was watching the most impressive ping pong game. It was unnerving to be under the scrutiny of those huge dark brown eyes, yet, just when Jimin was thinking of escaping to the toilet, Seokjin's phone rang.

He stood up very quickly and ran out of the shop to answer as if that was the most important call of his life. Jimin was pretty sure the one on the other end was a pretty bored Kim Taehyung.

It was the set up they had agreed upon and Jimin gulped down a big mouthful of coffee as Jungkook turned slightly to follow Seokjin's with his eyes. They didn't exchange any word as they waited for Seokjin to come back, and Jimin used that little time to revise his speech in his head. 

Jungkook was a smart and young man. He refused a scholarship to Stanford. He was an only child. Jimin’s goal? Trying to convince him being a wanderer was something that belonged to the XVIII century. 

Seokjin had told him Jungkook had left the campus over a year ago to work at pubs or do some other random jobs as he moved around the states looking for inspiration. 

Nobody in the younger's family had suspected anything until one of Jungkook's friends had uploaded a picture of him being in Florida during the full midterms period. 

That started the whole ordeal, which ended up with Jungkook's family reveal his drop out status to the US government, which consequently caused the suspension of his student’s visa.

In his place, Jimin would have been furious. Yet, Jungkook looked like a boy on vacation. Maybe it indeed was like that, maybe for him everything was a joke, but Jimin didn't like to think so badly of the ten year old kid he used to cherish a lot.

Not when the young man in front of him looked so overwhelmingly full of potential. 

Seokjin came back soon after, sporting such a convincing annoyed face that if Jimin didn't know better, he would have totally believed that he had an emergency work call.

“Sorry guys, that was my boss. One of our clients has anticipated next week’s meeting, and I have to go back to set the presentation,” Seokjin sighed, shaking his head. “I must go, feel free to spend the rest of the afternoon together though.”

“Don't worry Jin hyung, work is work and I understand. Besides Jimin hyung and I have a lot of catching up to do. It will be fun,” Jungkook cheerfully said.

“Sorry Jk, next time, hyung will threat to lamb skewers,” Seokjin said, squeezing his cousin’s shoulder, visibly relieved. His gaze stopped on Jimin, who just said a simple, “ go hyung, we'll meet up another time.”

Seokjin threw him a blinding smile before hurrying outside. Jimin was still smiling when his gaze wandered back to Jungkook.

Jungkook was staring at him with intensity, but Jimin didn't let himself be intimidated, he was way too old for that. 

“So Jungkook, what are your plans now that you are back at home?” Jimin asked trying to set the mood back.

“Less than a month, I think. I am waiting for a friend of mine to move to his new apartment, so I can use his couch to sleep in when I’ll move there,” Jungkook replied smiling, showing a candid row of teeth. 

“Oh. Are you planning to move out of your parents' house? I bet after living for so long on your own it might feel weird,” Jimin commented taking another sip of his americano.

“You can say that. Even though saying moving out of my parents' house is a bit of a stretch. I'm going to Europe,” Jungkook said, and if he were a pup he would probably be wagging his tail in excitement.

Ah, Jimin thought, that complicated things by a lot. And of course Jungkook had told this to nobody, considering how Seokjin never mentioned it to him. Jimin imagined he was probably the first one to get this new piece of information.

“You move fast,” Jimin said unable to help himself. The comment somehow made Jungkook laugh and had Jimin kind of enthralled, completely distracted from his purpose.

There he was. The cute kid he used to babysit in the yard of Seokjin's grandma. Jimin had to refrain himself to pat Jungkook's head like he used to do a decade ago. He wasn't here to get distracted but to put some sense into this young man. 

“Don't you think you could see if there are opportunities here in your home country before leaving for the other side of the world? I understand it's exciting but starting from scratch in a foreign country is not that simple even when you know the language.”

“Actually, I'm going to France so my English would be kind of useless.”

“That's really ...” Jimin found himself at loss for words. He didn't want to offend Jungkook, but what he was saying outmatched any form of prudence.

“Dumb? Reckless? Crazy?” Jungkook asked raising his eyebrow jokingly.

“I was about to say daring,” Jimin replied trying to match up to his playful tone. He kind of had a feeling where this was heading to.

After all, Jungkook had always been too perceptive, even as a kid. Embarrassingly so as he had discovered all of Jimin and Seokjin's night escapades back then.

“Jimin hyung. I know Seokjin asked you to talk to me. You can quit your act and stop trying to play the big brother role,” Jungkook said in a serious and calm tone all of a sudden. 

That would have been enough to sober up anyone. Jimin grabbed the table to not fall off the chair. 

“How did you find out?” Jimin asked, more to try and keep the conversation going than out of real curiosity. This was about to get real messy, Jimin thought as he sighed internally.

“I overheard hyung talking with my parents. Couldn't exactly say I was surprised. They haven't taken my life choices very well,” Jungkook sighed. 

“Yet you came nonetheless?” Jimin asked, brows furrowing. 

“Of course. I wanted to see you how you were doing,” Jungkook replied with a blinding smile. Jimin was taken aback. Jungkook was playing with him. 

“You must have seen more impressive things than me around the world, I'm not that interesting. Just confess you wanted to get treated,” Jimin joked dismissively. Better get along with the stream and see what happened.

“You would be surprised. But yes, can't deny the later either,” Jungkook said, winking. Jimin had to bite the inside of his cheek to hold himself from cooing, or worse, blush. Jungkook was adorable. How did they go from tragic to this kind of playful mood?

It was Jungkook. He seemed to emanate warmth and confidence, as if he had bottled up all the sun of the west coast in his body.

“And I will gladly do it as your hyung,” Jimin replied with a smile. They stared at each other for a long moment, and despite not wanting to let it go Jimin knew he had the responsibility to clear things out. He pursued his lips before sighing heavily.

“Hyung?” Jungkook asked surprised by the change of attitude.

“As much as I don't particularly enjoy having agreed to do this, because who am I to you if not an old dude thinking he knows better; I still want you to reflect upon what brought me here, which is the concern of your family. They don't want you to end up hurt. And I don’t want that either. This might be the first time we see each other in a decade, but it would pain me to find out that the young man you bloomed into got tangled in a mess and compromised his future.”

“I know my family loves me. But I'm an adult. I can make my decisions,” Jungkook replied with conviction. The playful tone had vanished, but not the kindness, nor the respect. Jimin could see in his eyes that Jungkook was determined, his strong will reflected in his gaze.

“Being an adult means more than having the money and the chance to do what you want, Jungkook. Being an adult means weighing your options and being able to look over your whimsical desires. Realize that choices have consequences, and that to downsize your expectations is no crime but a fact,” Jimin elaborated, looking at Jungkook straight into the eyes. Jungkook’s brows furrowed in deep confusion.

“I don't understand, why do we need to settle down to look like everyone else? What's so wrong in just daring to act out of the schemes? If I own my decisions, why can't I just be the one that goes away?” Jungkook asked, leaning in, so close Jimin could see his pupils.

Jimin retreated, fighting the urge to jump ten meters away from Jungkook’s intensity.

“You can't escape forever. Eventually, you will have to find a place where to stop,” Jimin murmured. 

Jungkook shook his head in amusement. Then with a smooth and quick move, he snatched Jimin's phone from the side of the table. 

“What are you doing?” Jimin asked, surprised. 

“I am typing down my phone number and now I am calling myself, “ Jungkook gingerly said, as Jimin heard the sound of a phone vibrating inside a pocket. “Call me to hang out again, but no more lectures. You aren't old enough to do that. ” 

Jimin was too baffled to actually formulate a reply. He didn't know if he should feel elated or offended about the remark on his age, so he just stayed there, in his seat, watching Jungkook stand up from his seat and gulp down the remnants of his bubble tea. He waved at Jimin as he walked out of the coffee shop. 

Once Jungkook was out his sight, Jimin let himself burst into laughter. That had been a total epic fail of a coaching speech. 

He reclined his head in surrender.

***********

Jimin was distracted. He had been distracted for a whole week and by the second one came, everyone had started to point it out aloud. It was getting embarrassing, above all because Jimin knew what was the cause of this new state of mind.

For god's sake, he was way too old for getting this distracted when given attention, but the thing was, it was difficult to keep his head grounded when the one giving it was Jeon Jungkook.

As it turned out, he didn't actually need to wait for too long to see Jungkook again. There was no debate either  to wonder if it was acceptable for him to hang out with someone who was almost ten years younger than him, as Jungkook pretty much decided all on his own that  he was going to contact Jimin and strike him with the full force of his charming personality. 

Jungkook messaged him the very next day of the coffee shop date, and not even two hours later they were texting each other like college pals. A couple of days after, Jungkook not so casually asked Jimin for his workplace address, and that was how he found him waiting outside his office for lunch break. 

They had a pleasant lunch and Jimin found himself enchanted by Jungkook,  enough that he agreed to repeat it the next day, and the one after. And the one after that.

Seeing that Jimin didn’t seem bothered by his actions at all, Jungkook might have decided that refraining wasn’t a verb in his vocabulary and he made sure to slide himself in Jimin’s daily life. It was disconcerting, and unbelievable, and so damn cute Jimin wanted the floor to open and swallow him. 

“Earth to Jimin, are you still with us?” Came the low voice of Taehyung. He had a wicked and very amused smile painted on his face, and he was eyeing Jimin as if he knew exactly what internal turmoil he was having. For the record, he didn't. Jimin made sure not to voice any of his personal opinions on Jungkook to neither him, nor Hoseok (since talking to one of them it was the equivalent of talking to both).

 He didn't think his pride could take the inevitable teasing. 

“Let the man daydream now that he finally has a reason to,” teased Hoseok next to him. Jimin scowled. How? How?

He then remembered that Jungkook was indeed Seokjin’s cousin, and he could bet all of his money Seokjin knew what was going on. Which meant the whole group knew. He was royally fucked.

It was a typical Wednesday night. Usually, that meant junk food with Hoseok and Taehyung, and long rants over cheap beer, mostly about the joys of being adults and the stress of their respective works. But it seemed like that night was about to turn into roast park Jimin 101.

“Ah yes, Jungkook right? How is your lover boy doing?” Taehyung asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

“He is no lover boy, for god's sake he is Seokjin's cousin.”

“He calls him like that too, just so you know,” commented Hoseok with an evil smile. At the same time, he sweetly scratched Taehyung’s chin, who was stealing from his plate even though they had ordered the same thing.

“You are full of shit, I don't know why I keep third wheeling you when it’s clear you enjoy making my life difficult.”

“Because you love us, and because the alternative would be third-wheeling Jin and his fiancé, and they are more into pda than what your poor eyes can tolerate,” Taehyung commented with a smirk, proceeding to lick his fingers clean.

“As much as I love you Kim Taehyung, take this napkin and wipe yourself properly,” Hoseok said with that authoritarian tone Taehyung had once confessed to Jimin turned him on so much.

Jimin couldn't help but laugh when Taehyung eagerly complied. He turned into a big giant puppy every time Hoseok scolded him and Jimin found it extremely amusing considering Taehyung  was as stubborn as a 5 year old who doesn't want to share his favorite toy, with everyone else.

Taehyung and Hoseok had always been like that. 

In synchrony. So different yet so easily adaptable to each other, like they were made to fit despite the different shapes. Jimin would have found it disgustingly cheesy if it weren't so evident just how sincere they were in their feelings. When Taehyung said he loved everything in Hoseok, it wasn't just a metaphor, he really did loved everything in him. 

One would think that Jimin felt like a third wheel all the time, but actually, that never happened. When the three of them were together, they were the friends that they used to be during college and he had never felt left behind. Except maybe when it was Jimin’s teasing time. That was the only occasion they would team up against him, because they were two assholes.

“He is young and bored and has probably lost touch with his old friends. I'm old and I probably look cool in his eyes, that's why he looks at me.”

“Maybe or maybe not. 22 year old kids don't hang out with men in their thirties, whose highlight of the week is getting tipsy during the weekend, once a month. Don't sell yourself short Jimin. You might be a boring adult, like our gang, but you are also a very attractive thirty year old guy. I would bone you if I weren't strictly Hoseok oriented,” Taehyung said, shrugging.

“You aren't making any sense,” Jimin replied shaking his head.

 This wasn't as funny as it sounded. It had been fun the first couple of days but weeks had passed and it was clear Jimin was starting to have a problem, a Jungkook problem. 

“Which part exactly...” Taehyung started to argue but Hoseok threw him a glance and Taehyung shushed.

“This is worrying you,” Hoseok stated more than asking.

“Well, yes. How can it not? I've been seeing Jungkook more often than I usually see the both of you put together. It's weird. It's...” Jimin trailed off to stop himself from saying addictive.

It had started with Jungkook stopping by his company for lunch, and then with Jungkook stopping by his apartment for dinner. And suddenly, he was crashing at Jimin’s house on the weekends, or dragging him out to try a new arcade, to watch a movie, or simply to hang out in hipster coffee shops. Jimin wasn't used to spend so much time with someone. Even when he dated, he was usually the type to need some time alone for himself. Yet, the annoyance he was waiting to feel never arrived. 

He was enjoying being treated like that by Jungkook and he definitely liked Jungkook himself, a bit too much. And that was bad, for a countless number of reasons that were keeping Jimin awake at night. 

The first one, and the one that tormented him the most, was the huge age gap between them. Nine years. Leaving aside the fact that Jungkook was the baby cousin of one of his best friends, Jimin couldn't let himself like someone so young and so obviously inexperienced with life. No matter how mature he seemed. Or how interesting he was. Or how he was basically everything that Jimin had always found attractive in a person. 

Not even gender was a problem. Jimin had felt different type of attraction towards different people, he had ended up dating girls mostly because it was easier than trying to psych himself when trying to understand if the guy in front of him could be into men or not. Even his parents weren't completely against the idea, given how they had always treated Taehyung and Hoseok.

No. The problem was that Jimin's heart had been lying dead for far too long, and now this young man appeared, fresh and free like a summer breeze and Jimin suddenly felt an accelerated heartbeat sing for him.

 He was an imperfect adult he had always known that, but maybe he had been more lonely than what he had originally thought. Or maybe it was just Jeon Jungkook. 

“It's...it's,” Taehyung and Hoseok were waiting for him to formulate something, anything, but Jimin didn't even know how to start explaining himself.

 He ended up slapping his own nape instead, making his friends burst into laughter.

“You know age is just a number,” Taehyung said casually but Jimin knew he was trying to be reassuring.

“It's not. But anyway, whatever. The kid is going to leave in a few weeks anyway,” Jimin replied, waving his hand dismissively, as if he wanted to say “problem solved.” 

Somehow, that made Hoseok's brows furrow more severely. 

However before Jimin could ask the reason behind that expression, the display of his phone lit up and Jungkook’s name flashed on it. Suddenly, everyone's stare was on his device.

Jimin felt himself blush, but he couldn't refuse the call. It would have been rude, and he didn't have a good reason to act like that, except to defend himself from more teasing, which was a rather flimsy excuse. 

Besides, if he really wanted to sustain the narrative of him not feeling anything, Jimin shouldn't even be fazed by a simple call from one of his juniors. He grabbed his phone, trying to ignore taehyung’s heavy and suggestive stare and picked up.

“Hello?”Jimin said trying to sound steady and calm.

“Jimin hyung? How are you doing? I've just finished my weekly gym training and I'm so hungry right now! Are you at home? Your home-cooking is always so delicious!”

“Ah Jungkook, I would love to have you over, but unfortunately I'm out with my friends, Hoseok and Taehyung. I don't know if Jin hyung ever mentioned them to you,” Jimin said trying to ignore the curious eyes of the duo.

“Hyung did, yes. Ah, too bad then. Guess I will head home and warm up some leftover then,” Jungkook said trying to sound cheerful but Jimin could hear the disappointment in his tone.

Perfect he had dodged the bullet. But his heart probably hadn't received the memo from his brain. For a few seconds, he thought about Jungkook warming up some cold leftovers...

“You can join! I mean if the idea of spending a Wednesday evening drinking with three uncles sounds appealing to you...” 

“Hey!" Taehyung shouted, outraged, as Hoseok ridiculously rested his hand over his heart as if Jimin had just pierced it.

Jimin proceeded to give turn his back on them.

“Sounds lovely to me, uncles and all!” Jungkook said with a laugh before quickly adding a more shushed,” but, are you sure I won't be intruding? If this was a friends only hang out, I understand, you don't need to pick me up hyung.”

“You will do just fine here," Jimin heard himself say without being able to stop, "you will probably raise the mental age considering these two put together don't even reach fifteen. I will send you the geolocalization so you can reach us. See you soon, bye!”

“Yes! See you soon!” Jungkook replied happily.

Once Jimin hung up and turned to face his friends, he was welcomed by two teasing grins from Hoseok and Taehyung. The latter was doing gurgling noises before saying,” damn dude. You are so whipped.”

Jimin was seriously considering smashing his face on the table. What had he just done? Did he just invite Jungkook to hang out with the devil duo?

The chat that followed the call got very superficial and meaningless. It was obvious that everyone was waiting for Jungkook's arrival, and Taehyung even made a show of eating his chips as slowly as possible, to prolong their stay enough to share the dessert with Jungkook and be able to ogle at the kid. And probably to interrogate him with every question his mind could conjure.

They didn't have to wait for long. Jungkook’s fluffy head soon materialized in between the people that were standing in the entrance. 

Jimin raised his hand and as soon as Jungkook spotted him, his face broke into one of his bright gorgeous smiles. Jimin was whipped. No. He was doomed. 

Luckily he had trained his face to be a blank mask, since he had understood early in his twenties that making his feelings obvious would only bring him harm and major disappointment. So he was pretty sure not even a trace of his internal turmoil was shown on his face. 

He didn't need to encourage this, whatever that was, and he had to maintain this relationship into the rigid path of hyung-dongsaeng.

"Hi. I'm Jungkook nice to meet you all,” Jungkook introduced himself, bowing very formally, as if he was being presented to Jimin's parents.

“Please, there's no need to do that. You are making us look like ancestors rather than hyungs, and I'm way too young for that,” Taehyung exclaimed, patting Jungkook forearm as he motioned him to seat in front of them and next to Jimin. 

Once Jungkook did, it suddenly struck Jimin how this seemed like a double date. Goddamn.

They introduced themselves and did some easy conversation. Just when it was about to get awkward, a waiter came to take his order and that gave a few seconds to Jimin to get a grip and prepare for whatever his friends had in store for him. Or Jungkook. 

“So, Jungkook, you are Seokjin's baby cousin right? How come we've never seen you before,” asked Taehyung, as if the fact was somehow Jungkook's fault. Jimin wanted to facepalm.

“I've just come back from the States. Been there for 4 years to study and do things” Jungkook replied, unfazed.

“Oh, what did you study?” Hoseok chimed in. He had ordered a cola because he was a lightweight and wasn't able to drink if he wasn't eating. Jimin counted on him to keep the conversation from turning into a big mess. Taehyung was already on his third beer, and he was only a slightly better drinker than Hoseok.

“Economics,” Jungkook laconically replied as if he was confessing a big sin. 

“You didn't like it?” Hoseok asked but the answer appeared rather obvious if you looked at Jungkook's disgusted facial expression. 

“I guess it was fine. But let's just say it didn't talk to my heart,” Jungkook replied rather bashfully, causing Taehyung to nod in understanding. 

Jimin squirmed uncomfortably because he couldn't understand. He had accepted Seokjin request out of concern, because even when he thought he didn't have the right to dictate to anyone what path to follow, and even when he considered himself an imperfect adult, he was still one hundred percent convinced the decisions he had taken were the only way things could have gone. 

“Some sacrifices are for the best. You might not like it now, but the benefit you'll achieve in the future is worth the trouble, “ Jimin said, unable to stop himself. Adulthood meant thinking about the greater good. Jungkook had to understand that.

Jungkook threw a glance at him and Jimin almost shrank on himself. Hadn't Jungkook request been to not being lectured? 

“Do not listen to him. That's not the only possible way. You can always stay poor but happy fucker like me. It's another type of sacrifice but it's worth it too,” Taehyung said, shooing Jimin with his hand. 

Maybe, not introducing his baby cousin to Taehyung and Hoseok had been done on purpose by Seokjin, because you could say that among them, those two had indeed chosen a very special lifestyle. 

“You weren't complaining when I gifted you Gucci last year, and that was thanks to my unartistic job, thank you so much.”

“I never said everyone should do like me, just that there are different options. Also, you are welcome,” Taehyung replied sending him a flying kiss. Jimin rolled his eyes as Hoseok cackled on the side. 

“What do you do for a living, hyung?” Jungkook asked unable to mask his hopefulness.

“I'm a photographer,” Taehyung answered.

“A damn good one, if I can say,” Hoseok added with pride. 

“Wow, that's so cool!” 

After that statement nothing stopped Jungkook from asking Taehyung all sort of questions about his career, and even when the food he ordered came, Taehyung and Jungkook kept chatting about the wonders of the artistic field. Of course when Hoseok let out that he too was in the field as a dance instructor, there was no way to make Jungkook focus on anything that wasn't stuffing his face with food and talk with Jimin’s two friends.

Jimin thought he should have felt left out and in a way he did, but it was too mesmerizing. Watching Jungkook's eyes lit up in wonder as he drank in the details of Hoseok and Taehyung's paths.

Jimin was grateful to them for being so open, even when Jungkook explicitly asked them how it was the first year outside the safe world of the art academy. He was even more thankful to both of them for not sugar coating the truth.

“Well yes, it was difficult. Actually, it was hell. I remember the first year, Hosek and I dragged on, feeding on only ramen and the leftovers of Seokjin's fridge and Jimin's take out, and at some point I seriously thought to just throw everything to the wind and go back to the farm and help at home. Yet having Hoseok struggling, but also trying by my side, gave me the motivation to keep moving down this path. We won't ever be rich like Jiminie, but even being able to make a living out of our passion, it's enough. “

“It is. But I guess conquering it together made it even more meaningful,” Hoseok added, smiling, and if Jungkook had had any doubt about the type of relationship Hoseok and Taehyung had, the way they looked to each other at that moment had probably lifted them all.

Jimin observed Jungkook to see how he reacted in front of this new piece of information, and indeed Jungkook was staring at them deep in thought. Yet, when he opened his mouth he said the last thing Jimin was expecting him to say.

“I like you. I wanna hang out with you guys more. Let's do something fun after this,” and he said it with such a tone that Jimin was surprised he wasn't pouting.

He was such a sweetheart. 

“Believe me, you don't want to hang out with these two. Hoseok had been going straight to bed at 10 pm since he was a teenager. And Taehyung, since he passed his mid twenties, has a very slow recovery time, and if he stays up late he whines for a week long. “

“Like you are any better, with the excuse of work you spend your evenings eating chips and drinking beer in front of your TV, watching maudlin dramas until you pass out. At least Hoseok and I have healthy morning se...” Jimin plastered a hand over his mouth.

“Behave. He is too young to hear the stories of your debauchery,” Jimin said glaring at Taehyung, mostly because he had exposed him.

“I'm old enough to drink and do plenty of things,” Jungkook replied with nonchalance.

“Barely, if I remember well, considering you are twenty two.”

“I'm twenty one. I'll be twenty two by September,” Jimin looked at him with wide eyes. Oh god. He was even younger than what he had thought.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that, hyung?” Jimin fought hard to not having a live mental breakdown.

“I'm looking at you just fine." Jimin lied through his teeth. "Anyway to summarize, we don't have the stamina of youngsters anymore, above all if your ultimate goal is to drag this bunch of uncles in a pub, or worse, a club. We are too old for you, kid,” Jimin said, and he sounded like a parent even to his own ears. But that was the truth, wasn't it? 

Here he had the equivalent of his teen wet dreams more than a decade after he needed to find him. 

“You aren't too old, and I'm not too young for you,” Jungkook exclaimed, before further elaborating, “you can't think I would believe that men in their thirties don't go around after dusk? What are you, vampires?”

“Of course we do things after dusk you silly, we just don't go to pubs or clubbing. That's a thing for young brats.”

“Stop saying things like that. It's not like we are a different species. Say what, I will prove it to you,” Jungkook as if that was the challenge of his life.

“And how are you going to do that?” Jimin replied with bravado.

In retrospect, he should have known better than to challenge a youngster but being old didn't mean Jimin was wiser. Definitely not. 

If he thought he would make Jungkook release his grip on him, he was wrong. 

“Who are you trying to kid, you like this,” a voice too similar to the smug one of his best friend Taehyung echoed in his head. 

The night ended like this, with Jungkook asking for Hoseok and Taehyung’s numbers, as well as their loyalty, and with a new addition to the group chat they used when they wanted to hang out together. 

Jungkook's proposal had been simple, he basically invited himself in any adult outing of Jimin and his friends to prove to the former that there was no way they could be that boring. And there was no way he couldn't adapt.

Of course, after that, Jimin became the inside joke of his circle of friends. Even Yoongi went out of his way, despite his usual allergy for texting, just to send him the word “cougar”.

It helped that Jimin's last love interest was younger too, and if he had been teased back then only for a four year age gap, logically now, it could only get worse.

Jimin tried to not get offended, even though as the days passed by, it was getting harder and harder not to feel hurt by his friends' comments. He knew they didn't mean anything bad, but it stung how the idea of Jungkook and him together was just a joke.

As if Jimin didn't know that already. He should have stopped Jungkook the moment he started to suspect his attention was a bit too interested, but Jimin didn't, he indulged him, unable to resist his boyish smile and his youthful energy. Because Jungkook’s young, loud, ridiculous even when he walked on his hands all over his apartment, was everything Jimin didn't know he was waiting for.

Jungkook made him laugh, he carried his innocence and his pure heart on his sleeve,  untouched by the disappointment that adult life necessarily brought over. Jimin couldn't know how his life before Jungkook arrival would appear suddenly dull and empty.

Jimin was scared. He was terrified. Because Jungkook had so much to experience and had so much in store for him, and both of those things wouldn't ever be able to include Jimin.

Jungkook had never faltered in his decision not to stay. Jimin didn't want to believe that, for Jungkook, he was just an enthusiastic summer adventure before moving to the next one. Because the younger had never given him any room to think so low of him. 

Yet, the alternative, that Jungkook might be serious and just deliberately deciding to not think about the consequences of his actions, was even more terrifying. They were too different, even without a continent in between. Too different as people, in two different points in life, so far it was difficult to be able to find a common ground that could resist. And besides, how could you build over moving foundations?

No, Jungkook was just a call for a heartbreak. 

That was why Jimin swore to himself he would just stay by his side as a doting hyung, who would hang out with him for the time it remained, until Jungkook moved on, both physically and emotionally.

And if his heart fluttered every time Jungkook directed his big eyes to him, nobody had to know that. 

A week later, everyone was at the inauguration of a painting and sculpture exhibition of two of Taehyung's ex-college friends. And to Jimin's major disbelief, Jungkook was having the time of his life despite being probably the only one under his twenty fives. 

“I think we lost him, “ Hoseok commented gingerly by Jimin side, as they both observed Jungkook, enraptured by a futuristic painting. Jimin enjoyed art galleries, but not with such a passion.

“I can't believe neither of you told me Jungkook is a painter,” Jimin whined, feeling extremely cheated.

“I can't believe you didn't bother to ask,” Hoseok retorted with an inquisitive eyebrow. Jimin scoffed.

Before coming, he had challenged Jungkook, saying that if he managed to not yawn even once he would follow him in whatever shady club Jungkook wanted to drag him. Of course, nobody, especially Jungkook, had the courtesy to tell him that the younger was a painter.

When Seokjin had told him his cousin was an artistic wanderer, Jimin had thought it was just a saying. After all, Jungkook talked a lot, but never about himself. It was always the story of one of his friends, a fun anecdote during a trip, and a lot of 'Seokjin says that'. He also asked a lot of questions, he was curious at heart and a great listener. Yet, in light of this new piece of information, and as he observed the younger watch the artworks with authentic glee, Jimin wondered what exactly the younger harbored in the intimacy of his inner self. Maybe he had been so blinded by his young age that he had not seen the type of man he really was.

The possibility that there was more substance to Jungkook, than what Jimin had liked to paint gave him chills. Jungkook was fascinating enough, even without extra qualities, and Jimin was in real danger if he seriously started to like him.

“I got distracted,” Jimin defended himself.

“I can easily understand why,” Hoseok muttered, gaining a little kick in the shin. But it was weak and without conviction, and Hoseok sensed that their conversation hadn't been a playful banter to Jimin.

“You know we are just teasing right? None of our jokes are meant to hurt you Jimin. But if it's too much I can ask the other to stop,” Hoseok said out of the blue with an understanding tone as if he knew just what type of internal turmoil Jimin was living.

“It is a bit disconcerting, but it's fine. I'm a big boy,” Jimin replied, looking anywhere but in Jungkook's direction.

“If you ever feel like talking about it, I'm here, Jimin. You tend to get lost in thoughts easily, that never changed about you since I’ve known you.”

“This makes me feel like a brat,” Jimin said, chuckling.

“Being a brat has nothing to do with age, look at my Taehyung,” Hoseok commented, as  said Taehyung was staring in deep fascination at very weird tour Eiffel shaped sculpture. 

Jimin almost choked on his wine laughing.

“Jimin! Hoseok!” Seokjin’s voice startled them. “how are you? and how is my baby cousin? Lately, I haven't even seen his shadow,” Seokjin commented as he downed the wine in his glass as if it were a one shot.

“Hi Jin hyung! We are fine. Watching the kids, actually,” Hoseok commented, as he kept staring, with something akin to admiration, at Jin’s empty glass.

“Did you come alone? Where are the others?” Jimin asked.

“I left Namjoon and Yoongi in the second room. I might have told Namjoon that Yoongi has a secret love for avant-garde painting, and now he is rattling off history facts in Yoongichi’s poor ears.”

“You are such an ass,” Hoseok commented as Seokjin graced them with a mischievous smile. 

“Yoongi hyung will drive you over,” Jimin said shaking his head in amusement.

“We came with my car,” Seokjin simply replied smugly. 

“As if that could be enough to protect you from his wrath. If I were you I would be watching my back...” Hoseok added, but he had trailed off, distracted. “I have to go guys, Taehyung is starting to do weird gestures in front of the eiffel tower sculpture and at this rate, we will be thrown out.”

Jimin giggled as he saw his friend sprint towards Taehyung, but he felt a heavy gaze at the base of his neck and turned towards Seokjin.

The older was staring at him.

“Spit it out hyung, it's clear you want to say something,” Jimin said sighing.

“Me? You are reading me wrong,” Seokjin tried, but Jimin didn't buy it.

“Your ears are red.”

“Well ok, you are right.. I guess I wanted to talk to you about Jungkook?” Seokjin said, and it had been a while since Jimin had seen him looking this awkward. “I am sorry to have involved you in our family drama. I think a part of me was hoping that Jungkook's adoration for you would make him more keen to listen. Sorry for that,” Seokjin elaborated.

“Hyung, what adoration are you talking about? he was ten!”

“It was worth a try, and besides, I don't think that feeling was just something restricted to his childhood days. He spends all his time with you, and yesterday at the family dinner, he said he might extend his stay here. I can't imagine another reason for him to want that if it isn't you, Jimin.”

Jimin didn't choke again on his wine, only because he had already drunk the last sip.

“I don't know what you know, or what you think you know, but nothing is going on between Jungkook and me,” Jimin said straightforwardly as he crossed his arms over his chest. 

Jimin would have liked to get angry, but he could understand where Seokjin was coming from. He had dragged Jimin in the hope he could achieve what he himself hadn't been able to, and Jimin did, but not in the way Seokjin would have imagined. But Seokjin got it all wrong, this was the first time Jimin had heard about a change of plans, and he wasn't going to stay there and let one of his best friends think he was attainting to his cousin's innocence.

“I didn't mention this to accuse you of anything, Jimin, I am just trying to look out for you. Because Jungkook is too young and clueless and I'm afraid he might do you...”

“Jin hyung, you are here.”

It was Jungkook voice, low and grave, which interrupted the heated moment. Jimin only then realised that Seokjin and him had gotten very close, and probably from a third point of view their stance looked dangerous. 

Jimin took a step away at the same time he felt Jungkook hand on his waist.

He tried to recompose his facial features while Jungkook kept talking.

"I will steal Jimin hyung from you, there's a painting he really needs to see. Talk to you later Jin hyung," Seokjin looked awestruck but he didn't move to stop either of them, and he let Jungkook drag Jimin away.

"Sorry," Jungkook said under his breath as he walked them towards the farthest set of paintings.

Jimin threw a glance at him and he was surprised to find him seething with anger.

"I'm sorry hyung," Jungkook repeated as they slowed down,"I don't like how my family is meddling, but it's my family and I love them, so I bear with it. But you have nothing to do with this mess and they don't have any right to come and bother you, no matter how close you and Jin hyung are."

Jimin sighed as he let himself sink in the half embrace for a moment, before distancing himself to look at Jungkook.

"He worries about you," Jimin said putting his hand over Jungkook's forearm and squeezing gently.

"Yes. Whatever," Jungkook grunted.

Watching Jungkook getting so worked up somehow had deflated Jimin of all of his irritation. 

"There there," Jimin says sliding his hand down Jungkook’s forearm as an owner would do with his puppy.

Jungkook face scrunched up at the gesture, but he let Jimin treat him like that nonetheless.

"Let it go now. We are here to have a good time. Show me your favorite pieces and let's see if we have something in common," Jimin said, dragging Jungkook back to the heart of the exhibition.

They spent the rest of the night commenting the artworks and secretly making fun of Yoongi, but Jimin felt able to genuinely smile again only when Jungkook went back to his usual bubbly self.

Jimin wanted to smash his head on the nearest wall. What the heck way wrong with him.

He told the truth to Seokjin, nothing was going on between Jungkook and him, but that didn't mean he didn't want to. 

Jimin wasn't stupid, he was experienced enough to recognize the symptoms.

Seokjin joined the group but didn't make any move to restart their conversation. He was actually sending apologetic glances in Jimin’s direction. 

He could deal with Seokjin some other day. For the time being, he had to survive this night, considering Jungkook now was latched at him.

"So, did I do well?" Jungkook whispered a couple of hours later in his ear. The exhibition was closing and their group of friends was chattering in the street. 

Jimin startled.

"Do well? hat?" Jimin coughed, trying to mask his embarrassment.

"Don't play the fool. The bet hyung, the bet! I didn't yawn even once so now you owe me," Jungkook said cheekily.

"That was before I knew you were a painter, so of course you would enjoy it! You are such a snitch!" Jimin whined, outraged

"A bet is a bet. Besides, you never asked, so it's only fair." 

Jimin would have liked to whine a bit more but that would make him look like he was the brat between the two of them, so he bit his lip and tried hard to not react.

Jungkook could read him through, though, because he looked at his face and laughed. Yet, he was smart enough to not point it out.

"Jimin and I are going to get a drink, because hyung here lost a bet, who is joining?" Jungkook shouted making all the group turn towards them.

Jimin tried hard to not look in Seokjin's direction. 

Jungkook question was followed by a series of groaning. In the end, most of them had plans for the day after, and honestly they probably stopped being fun when they all turned 27.

"Oh c'mon!" Jungkook insisted. Jimin took the chance to look at Taehyung in the eyes with his best puppy gaze, as he screamed an SOS telepathically.

During their college days, there was this inside joke that Taehyung and Jimin were soulmates, or aliens who could communicate telepathically, that big was the degree of attunement they shared.

Jimin never wished as much as in this moment that it could be true.

"I guess we are coming?" Taehyung didn't even look convinced, but apparently Jimin’s desperation was evident. Hoseok turned his head so fast it was a miracle his neck didn't break, but a brief exchange of glances had a smile take over his face.

"I'm tired as fuck, so don't think I'll go easy on you tomorrow morning, Kim Taehyung," Hoseok murmured to Taehyung before moving towards Jungkook and throwing an arm over his shoulders excitedly.

Jimin, who was nearby and had heard it all, almost gagged, but didn't comment because technically he had brought this upon himself. They bid goodnight to the others and started to walk down the street.

They ended up in a pub that looked like a club, but not really, because despite the music and some people dancing in a far corner, most of the customers were just drinking. 

Jungkook didn't want to hear excuses and as soon as they sat down in a booth, he ordered something that sounded horribly like vodka for everyone. 

Now, Jimin had had his fair share of drinking contest, but he had dropped vodka consumption a couple of years ago, in favor of better alcohol, like beer or even better, wine. But Jungkook was buzzing with unending energy and he wanted to spice things up.

"You are red like a tomato," cackled Taehyung one hour later, as he poked his lover right cheek like it was the funniest thing in the world.

"I'm just hot," Hoseok replied, but he looked like he was having a hard time trying to act normally.

"Yes. And I'm in a worldwide famous boy band," Jimin teased him. Downing his shot like it was water. 

He was glad to find out he still held his ground. 

A whistle came from his side.

"I knew you had it in you, hyung" Jungkook exclaimed in glee.

"You should have seen him back in college. We were all crawling on our elbows, but Jimin and Jin hyung were so collected they could have probably competed in an arrow shooting game, and gone to the nationals," Taehyung spilled out. Judging by his lopsided grin, he was tipsy too.

"Ah, I wish I had been there,” Jungkook whined, bottom lip protruding. Jimin had to look away before doing something stupid like lean in.

Ok, maybe his alcoholic skills weren't so top notch.

After that, he made sure to not go lower in gradation, to savor his drinks, and go to the toilet often. Nonetheless, despite his precautions, he still ended up being dragged in the corner where people were dancing. At least Taehyung and Hoseok were still with them, even though, judging by how touchy the dance teacher was, Jimin was pretty sure he wasn't going to wait till morning to test Taehyung's endurance.

Jungkook was a bit too close for Jimin's poor senses and the audience in the bar, but Jimin let him. He told himself that his hand on Jungkook's chest was too keep him at a distance and not to have an excuse to just touch him and imagine how warm the skin would feel if there weren't any barrier in between.

They stayed there a bit, making small dance and smiling, until Hoseok grinded a bit too enthusiastically on Taehyung, and Jimin decided to call it a night despite Jungkook's protests.

"You are no fun, hyung, just when it was getting heated," Jungkook lamented, outraged as he let himself being dragged outside.

"Exactly. A bit more heated and we were going to be in the middle of those two, and as much as I love them, I am not into voyeurism," Jimin said, turning to make sure the couple had followed them.

Hoseok wasn't only glued to Taehyung, somehow on their way out, he had hopped on Taehyung's back and now the latter was piggybacking him.

"Taehyung, are you sure you are going to be fine?" Jimin asked, a bit worried, but Taehyung cheekily smiled. He looked a bit altered, but all in all, quite sober. Probably dancing had helped him get rid of some of the alcohol.

"Yes, we are taking a cab."

"Don't worry Jimin, I got him," Hoseok interjected, winking at him as he secured his grip on Taehyung, who let out a grunt that had nothing to do with discomfort.

"God. Yes. I believe you do. Just go, please," Jimin said, passing a hand over his face, and Jungkook wolf-whistled.

"I can't believe I have such friends,"Jimin murmured, embarrassed,  as he saw the duo walk away, high and giggling.

"They are awesome. Even though I gotta admit I kind of envy them," Jungkook said, side glancing at Jimin, "They surely are continuing the party," he concluded, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Shut up!" Jimin groaned, trying to hit the younger, who was fast to dodge. 

Yet, the movement made him stumble dangerously.

"Careful there," Jimin said, using his arm to half hug Jungkook and support his weight.

"I'm fine," Jungkook muttered, so close to him that Jimin could sniff the smell of strawberry vodka coming from his mouth. 

Jimin suppressed a shiver as he tried to not let himself be drawn in by Jungkook intense gaze.

"C'mon let's go. I'll take the cab with you so I can make sure you arrive home safely."

"No please. I'm a clumsy drinker. I will wake up the whole house and my parents will end me," Jungkook whined, this time balancing his whole weight on Jimin, wrapping his arms around his torso and nuzzling his neck.

"Serves you right. Brats need to be treated as such"Jimin scolded him but there was no bite in his remark, and he felt goosebumps spread from his neck where Jungkook lips brushed his skin while talking.

Jungkook was surely drunk but Jimin didn't think he was that drunk, yet there he was, letting  Jungkook wrap himself all over him despite the warm weather.

He sighed. It was a bad idea, a very idea. But.

"Fine, you can crash on my couch. But the least you can do tomorrow is buy the biggest cup of latte that exists,"Jimin conceded in the end.

Jungkook nodded, hair tickling Jimin's jaw. A lazy smile was on his face when he finally straightened his back.

They hailed a cab, Jungkook was steady in his steps, but he didn’t intend to lose his grip on Jimin. He stayed attached to his side even when they got on the cab, and Jimin let him. He let eat up the space between them until there was none, he let Jungkook’s head find a place on his shoulder, and his arms sneak around his torso, that was the extent of his helplessness to Jungkook neediness.

He reasoned with himself that he was just acting like a good hyung, but even he knew that was a big fat lie. 

Somehow, they arrived at Jimin's apartment. Jimin’s heart beating so loudly he was afraid that Jungkook, who was plastered all over him, could hear. But the younger didn't give any sign of being aware of what effect he had on Jimin  He just kept half hugging him in a way that was too much endearing for Jimin.

They stumbled inside his apartment. They separated for a moment to take off shoes and jackets, Jimin watching with watchful eyes as Jungkook paddled towards his living room to launch himself on the couch, letting out a sigh of contentedness as he lied down. 

"I'm going to change in the bathroom, please send a message to your family to reassure them you didn't die in a ditch. I'll be quick," Jimin said, waiting for Jungkook's nod before walking away. He quickly grabbed a pair of shorts and sleeping t-shirt from his wardrobe before going to the bathroom to refresh himself, and probably attempt to drown himself in the sink. 

"What are you doing?" Jimin whispered to his reflection after he had rinsed his face with cold water. 

Stalling here wasn't a good idea though and it was better to lock himself in his bedroom as soon as possible.

He hurried out of the bathroom, detouring by the kitchen to take a glass of water for Jungkook, before going back to the living room. 

As he approached the room, he realised Jungkook was breathing deep and had his eyes closed.

Jimin sighed in relief. Yes, he was a coward, but the truth was that this kid had already too much power on him.

He decided to leave the glass of water by the coffee table so Jungkook could drink it at any time during the night, but just as he was about to head towards his bedroom, an invisible force stopped him there. Without being able to stop himself, Jimin sat down next to Jungkook’s sleeping form.

He had never allowed himself to admire Jungkook to his heart content, because he was afraid of the consequences of such a gesture. This was a chance to do so, undisturbed.

In the semi-darkness of his living room with no prying eyes watching him, Jimin granted himself that wish.

With his eyes, Jimin caressed Jungkook’s forehead, the cute shape of his nose, his full cheeks that made him look so boyish,his attractive jawline, and then those thin but beautifully designed lips. 

Without realising it, Jimin had extended his hand to push Jungkook fringe aside from his eyes, and if his fingers brushed the skin for a few seconds longer, nobody would ever know.

Or so he thought. Because all of a sudden, he felt a strong grip on his wrist.

Jimin blinked in surprise, his gaze meeting that of a very alert Jungkook.

"Jimin…" he called. And Jimin knew he had to get up, say goodnight as if it were nothing and go to his room. But he was weak. He was a joke of an adult. He was…

He let Jungkook hand travel from his wrist to his arm and then to his nape.

There was a moment of hesitation, a moment where Jungkook assessed him, searching desperately the refusal in his gaze. Of course he found none.

Jimin didn't know if it was just Jungkook’s hand that dragged him down or if it was him who leaned in.

It didn't matter.

Not when he felt Jungkook's lips on his. 

At first, it was a soft and almost shy touch, but as soon as it was evident Jimin responded to every press of lips rather enthusiastically, Jungkook didn't refrain anymore. He licked in his mouth, eager and perfect, and Jimin felt his lips almost hurt for how good the burn was.

Jimin sighed in delight.

And that was it.

In a swift movement, he found himself being completely dragged down, his back on the leather of the couch, and Jungkook hovering over him. Jungkook was looking at him like Jimin was the most precious thing his eyes had ever seen. 

Jungkook's lips were on his again, sucking and biting his bottom lip, and then kissing his jawline, and when that mouth moved down his neck to lick and tease the skin there, Jimin couldn't help his moan. Neither could he help the way his hands flew to embrace Jungkook, his hand sneaking in the younger’s hair like it had a life on it own.

Jungkook peppered him in kisses and his hands started to roam all over Jimin’s body.

"You don't know how many times I dreamed of this," Jungkook whispered in Jimin’s neck as his hand slid under his shirt. "Jimin hyung."

It was like someone had splashed Jimin with a bucket of icy water.

What the heck he was doing? 

Was this his new low? Taking advantage of a situation? Of a kid?

"Wait," Jimin whispered but Jungkook kept kissing him, butterfly kiss behind his ear, hands that squeezed his waist possessively.

"Jungkook…"Jimin called again, to no avail and then louder because he couldn't allow himselves to succumb.

"Stop." 

He felt the exact instant Jungkook body froze and Jimin used that moment to slip out his grip and sit up, forcing Jungkook to do the same.

Jungkook looked like someone had given him a rather painful kick in the gut, his eyes were glassy almost shocked. 

"Did I read this wrong?" Jungkook said, almost terrified.

Jimin took pity on him and he leaned in once again to peck his cheek.

"There's no way you could have read this wrong since I reciprocated, Jungkook." Jimin saw relief flood Jungkook’s eyes but then doubt and confusion.

"Then why…" Jungkook tried but Jimin stopped him before he could try to convince him to fall again.

"We can't do this, Jungkook. We are tired and you are drunk and we clearly forgot how this is a bad idea," Jimin reasoned. It wasn't a speech to do at 2 am with a tipsy Jungkook and excited himself but he couldn't, couldn't, let develop this any further.

"Do you think I didn't desire this before tonight hyung? Alcohol gave me the courage but I pretty much wanted to kiss you since you almost bumped your nose in my chest that day at the mall."

Jimin swallowed hard because this was exactly what he shouldn't hear. But he needed to be determined.

"I… well I am drunk then. Would you take that into consideration?"

"You’re not. You are barely tipsy at most. You are just scared," Jungkook said bluntly. It stung like hell. Jimin retreated.

"No, wait. That came out wrong. I know you think it's complicated and I understand that, yet I can feel, I know there's something between us!" Jungkook said, panicked as he saw Jimin standing up.

Jimin shook his head.

"No you don't understand. You clearly don't understand why there can't be an us," Jimin said and it hurt watching Jungkook shrink.

"This is not something to discuss now at this hour and in this state…" he reasoned making his heart hard as steel and imposing himself to keep going." I'm sorry I let this happen Jungkook. That's my fault as a hyung." 

Jungkook took him by the wrist and even if Jimin couldn't see his face very well in the semi-darkness he could feel the intensity of his gaze, his longing. Because it was the same he was feeling.

"Stay the night here Jungkook. I promise we will talk in the morning." Jimin said tiredly. Jungkook grip loosened and his hand fell limp on the couch.

Jimin took a few steps back, looking at Jungkook’s figure for a long moment, and then, with huge willpower, he made himself turn and leave. 

Jimin had a very hard time falling asleep. Every time he closed his eyes he remembered how it felt having Jungkook's hands roaming on his body and then the lingering feeling of wet gorgeous lips. 

But above all, he couldn't take his mind off the sound Jungkook's hand made when it fell limp on the leather couch. That was the sound of shame.

Jimin fell asleep by dawn, due to exhaustion. When he woke up, the sun was high in the sky, and Jimin felt sweaty because of the warm temperature. After a moment of drowsiness, he stood up in panic.

How long had he slept? He didn't even bother to change, he just ran out of his room and into the living room to check if Jungkook was still there.

The couch was empty.

He should have expected it, Jimin told himself, yet he couldn't help but feel like a failure.

He flopped on the couch covering his face with his hands.

And now what? How was he supposed to explain this one to everyone? To Jungkook? 

He stayed there for a long moment and just when he was contemplating his alternatives which were drowning himself in the shower or chase Taehyung for help, he heard the sound of keys rustling and then the sound of a door, his entrance door, being open.

There, with a tray of two steaming coffee cups, stood Jungkook.

When he saw Jimin on the couch he froze in the threshold.

"I went to buy some coffee since this was the deal if I remember well. I also took the liberty to take a t-shirt from your drying rack, hope it's not a problem," Jungkook said, scratching his head.

If Jimin weren't such a mess and if the situation was less complicated, he would have already ran towards him to jump into his arms and probably kiss him like no tomorrow.

But he was Park Jimin, dumb adult of thirty years old, so he only nodded.

"I'm going to change, bring the coffee to the kitchen, I'll be there in a minute," he then said feeling rather awkward.

Jungkook nodded too as he stepped further inside.

He was the 21 year old guy, but somehow he looked the real adult, and Jimin the toddler. Jimin ran to grab a change of clothes and then to the bathroom to wash at least his face.

When he walked inside the kitchen he felt refreshed but not ready for what was about to come. Yet he calmly took the seat in front of Jungkook and grabbed his coffee.

Maybe drinking caffeine  wasn't the brightest idea considering how nervous he already was, but he needed to be a functioning human being and possibly buy a couple of minutes to try and order the speech in his head. 

Jungkook was sipping too, but he hadn't taken his eyes off Jimin.

"We are going to talk Jungkook. I won't let you leave without clearing things," Jimin said gently as he observed the way Jungkook's shoulders were tense and his gestures mechanical.

Jungkook sighed.

"It's just that…" . 

Jimin focused his attention on Jungkook, the way he tormented his bottom lip and his fingers were squeezing the paper cup. Suppressing his instincts who were screaming in his head to just go for Jungkook and fuck the rest, Jimin put his coffee aside and laid his hand on Jungkook's. They locked eyes instantly and despite his inner turmoil Jimin was about to deliver his speech, the kindest words he could conjure to reject Jungkook, when the younger blurted out a loud, raw and so so sincere, "I like you."

Jimin froze in his seat, locked in Jungkook's gaze as he felt the skin that was in contact with the younger, burning.

"Before you say anything, you should know that I like you, Jimin hyung. Probably since the beginning, heck, probably since I was ten. But at that time I didn't have a complete idea of what liking someone entailed. I kept an eye on you over the years, happy to know of your progresses, as I too grew up as well, wondering if our paths would ever cross again. And then they did. I can't let you slip through my fingers, not when I know you feel something for me. We could be something special. We could fall in love hyung. God's knows I'm already falling," Jungkook said smiling. 

Jimin thought that being driven over by a train would be less painful. But he had to stand by his point. It was for the better.

"When are you leaving Jungkook?"

"What?" 

"I'm asking you when are you leaving."

"In a month. I was supposed to leave in two weeks but I decided to stay a bit longer," Jungkook elaborated.

"So what, we fall in love and then you leave?" Jimin asked again fixing his gaze on Jungkook who looked confused. 

Jimin retreated his hand. 

"Jungkook I'm thirty. I have a job, a stable income, and a stable life. When I take into consideration a potential partner I'm looking for these things in the other part too. I stopped messing around long ago."

"I'm not messing around. I know you think I want other things, that I am too young to understand and that since I am 22, I just want to have fun. But you should stop treating me like the local fuckboy I am not," Jungkook replied, hurt.

"I know you are more mature than kids your age, I know you are a serious and capable person Jungkook."

"Then what? Why I have the impression that even if I stayed you still wouldn’t choose me? If it's about your age hyung, well, I don't care!"

"Well, I do!" Jimin exclaimed losing his composure. "You think your life choices and your age have nothing to do with it, but they do. You don't see me and the others wandering around the world and living day by day. That's beautiful, but it's something an adult can't allow himself to do. Being an adult is more than age Jungkook. It's sacrifice. It's commitment. It's doing the right thing. You say you are an adult and it's true, legally you are, but don't lie and say you are not young. Because you are and that's fine. Youth is the time to make rush decisions and that's your time. But not mine. Mine was long ago. I won't ask you to stay and you won't stay even if I did it, and I like you too much to let this be just the summer prologue before your adventure. We are in two different worlds, I'm sorry. "

"But don't you hear yourself when you talk? You speak calm and composed as if what you have now is exactly what you have always been aiming for. And it would be wonderful, really if you wouldn't look so sad while saying so."

Jimin put his best effort to maintain his facade, to not crumble because of this, what Jungkook was saying he didn’t have the courage to deny it. He wasn’t ready to think about the possibility of Jungkook being right.

"I'm the one who stays. While you are the one that goes away. And that's final."

"Even if we like each other?" asked Jungkook in disbelief.

"Even then," Jimin finalized.

A heavy silence followed his words and Jungkook looked like he was tormented, like he wanted to argue but then, like the good young respectful adult he was, he let it go. 

"I still want to spend the time I have left by your side, hyung," Jungkook asked though leaning in as he wanted to take Jimini hands in his but didn't know if he was allowed to.

Jimin met him halfway though, taking his hands again.

"Of course. You are still a precious friend," Jimin saw the sting of his words on Jungkook's face who nodded gratefully nonetheless.

He was an asshole. 

He was a heartless bastard.

But being a responsible human being sometimes meant to bottle up your desires for a greater good. 

Sometimes you loved. And you moved on.

Bittersweet, there was no other word to describe their relationship after. They tried to act like they usually did, Jungkook still texted him and they still hang out together but Jungkook looked more cautious and even though he was equally affectionate, he never initiated their physical contact.

It was Jimin who patted his hair or squeezed his shoulde,r and Jungkook let him, even leaned in his touch, sometimes almost sighing in relief. But he never took the initiative.

Jimin understood, really but it didn't make the thing less painful.

It was his doing though, he had brought this upon himself, but sometimes when he observed Jungkook interact relaxed and playful with the others, without that veil of longing and sadness, Jimin asked himself if he had done the right thing.

He sacrificed their time together because there wasn't a future to it, but in the rush of being logical Jimin had maybe overlooked something important.

He was convinced he was protecting Jungkook, making this less painful as possible but in the end wasn't he protecting himself only? Jungkook had been ready to launch himself in the fire but Jimin wasn't. 

And after all, what was the point in making this less painful when it hurt anyway?

He had underestimated the effect Jungkook had on him. He had thought he would take control back, when in reality it was already too late.

Jungkook had said that he might fall in love.

The thing was... Jimin possibly already was.

"Are you sure you did the right thing," Taehyung asked during one of their get together. 

They had been hanging out for just a few weeks and despite the age difference, Jungkook looked like he had always belonged there, in-between his friends.

Jimin tried his best to not flop on the table. Jungkook and Hoseok had gone to order the drinks, and Taehyung and him had remained seated at the table. 

It was still early in the evening, the others were supposed to pass by later, only Seokjin was out of town for work. 

Jimin couldn't say he wasn't relieved, because since that misunderstanding in the exhibition, things between him and Seokjin had been weird, and with all the Jungkook ruckus, they still hadn't had the chance to clear things out.

"It's done Taehyung, and it's for the better."

"I understand that he is Seokjin's baby cousin, and you used to babysit him when you were 17, but age is just a number, you should be more open to possibilities."

"He is going away Taehyung. And I am staying. And age isn't just a number, considering he is taking the first flight to who knows where with just a suitcase and the promise of a couch."

" Have you ever asked Jungkook what exactly are his plans? What he wants to do in life? Or did you just assume that only because he isn't acting like you and Seokjin hyung then he has to be a hothead?" 

"I never thought he was a hothead," Jimin retorted, but his tone sounded uncertain even to his own ears.

"The first thing you said when I teased you about him was that he was too young, and yes he is young, but he is also himself and from what I saw so far and from what you tell me about him, I think he has his shit together more than the average thirty-year-old dudes around here. Besides, since when being thirty means not taking risks? Where did your fire go Jimin?"

"I never had fire to begin with. I was just stubborn," Jimin replied tiredly.

"Then be stubborn once again. Because yes, he is going away but it seems like a part of you is going away too, like maybe it was gone all along. Just take what you want for once, and fuck the consequences."

"It's not that easy."

"More than you think, Jimin. More than you think," Taehyung said squeezing Jimin's arm just before the guys came back with the drinks.

Jungkook had a wide smile painted on his face and he looked more beautiful than ever, and soon he was going to take a flight to his own adventure.

Taehyung probably had meant the best for him with that advice, but his words had only managed to make Jimin feel worse. It made him frustrated by his decision, and if before he had been unsure, now he was devastated.

He could have been all wrapped up around Jungkook, but instead, he was dreading his departure, alone in his apartment, with less than one week left before Jungkook took his flight.

As the date approached Jimin turned jittery, the memories of that one night replayed again and again in his head like a broken record, making him hot and flushed and so aching. 

It was for the better he kept telling himself, but as the week was fading away Jimin sounded less and less convinced and Taehyung's words started to make more and more sense.

Yet, he could do nothing. With what kind of face could he knock at Jungkook's door and ask for anything.

It was simple though, wasn't it? He just needed to call, he just needed to grab his keys and go out. 

Jimin spent the last day before Jungkook's leave in his apartment, watching the evening set, phone ignored on the coffee table of his living room, as the clock on the wall signed the inescapable passage of time.

Then, just as he was debating if he was more hungry than nervous, someone knocked at his door.

Jimin jumped to his feet. Muscles numb and a stupid flame of hope in his chest, he ran towards the entrance and without even checking who it was he yanked his own door open.

His heart lost a beat.

There, his hand still raised as he was about to knock again stood Jungkook.

He looked paler than usual, and his hair was raffled as if he had nervously passed his fingers through it a couple of times, yet he was still as gorgeous as ever.

"I couldn't leave without talking to you one last time. So here I am. The day before taking my flight. I just wanted to tell you that I would like to keep in touch and well… just. Wanted to wish you good luck with everything? And possibly apologize. For this. I...this is it, I'll go. I..."

Jungkook fidgeted on the spot before lowering his gaze. Ten seconds, thirty, maybe one minute passed, and Jimin was tongue-tied. Jungkook raised his head, smiled at him weakly and took a step back.

 "Would you stay?"Jimin asked heart bursting in his chest. Jungkook turned his head towards him, in surprise, eyes big and wide and full.

"I know I don't have any right to ask, and I understand if you are angry with me, but would you stay with me tonight?"Jimin asked, gripping the handle of the door tightly. 

Jungkook took a step forward. He looked intense. 

"Angry? Maybe I was, but not for the reasons you think. I came here nonetheless," Jungkook's hands moved slowly, cupping Jimin’s face gently, caressing his skin with affection as he leaned in, their lips almost touching.

"Please ask me again," he whispered.

"Stay with me tonight," Jimin said, feeling tears prickling at the corners of his eyes.

Jungkook didn't let him wait for long, he soon closed the distance, capturing his lips in a searing kiss.

They kissed on the threshold of Jimin’s apartment. This time without uncertainty but only longing, longing for something that couldn't be, yet they could have it in that moment and in that moment only, hands that gripped hard to check that it was real.

"Let me Jimin, please, let me," Jungkook whispered in his ear like a prayer.

Jimin stepped back, dragging the younger inside his apartment and shutting the door behind them.

And for that night he let Jungkook have him, let him kiss him till their lips ached, let him leave marks on his skin, let Jungkook ravish him like only someone that knows it's the first and the last. Jungkook's hands caressed him with veneration as he buried himself inside of Jimin. 

Yet more than anything else Jimin let himself love Jungkook. 

“Would you come to the airport tomorrow?” Jungkook asked, as they woke up at the first light of dawn. Jimin hadn’t replied, he had just buried his nose into the crook of Jungkook neck to hide from that world that was claiming them, to inhale Jungkook’ scent and store it safely in his memories. 

Of course he went.

Everyone was there, Jungkook’s family, who, despite being deeply against everything Jungkook had decided for himself, still went to bid farewell, their group of friends (a demonstration of how, despite the age gap, Jungkook was one of them).

Jimin himself, on a side, almost hidden behind everyone else.

Jungkook dragged his giant luggage and an even bigger backpack, he waved at them after having being hugged by his parents at least a dozen times, and walked away. 

Their gazes didn't meet, and it was better like that, because Jimin didn't know how he managed to stand there like himself, smiling and doing small-talk with the others.

Yet, when the others suggested to go and grab something to drink, Jimin declined with what he hoped was a kind smile.

He just wanted to flop on his couch and possibly stay there till the next morning, knowing that what they allowed themselves to have had already the consistency of a dream, beautiful but attainable.

Taehyung glanced at him but didn't comment. He didn't know what he and Jungkook had done, but he knew Jimin well enough to sense when something was wrong.

Jimin took the subway back to his apartment, dragging his feet heavily, his movements sluggish as all his willpower had left him.

As soon as he opened the door of his apartment he barely had the energy to take off his shoes before launching himself on the couch. He didn't want to feel. He didn't want to feel anything, so he stayed there, doing nothing, just staring at the ceiling and asking himself how he was supposed to go back to work the next day.

He couldn't help his yelp when, sometimes later, the bell of his apartment rang. It couldn't be.It couldn't be, he knew it in his heart, because that was his life and life was made by real facts and not fantasies. Yet, he couldn't refrain either from jumping wildly from the couch to run towards his door and yank it open.

“I... brought alcohol. Whiskey, your favorite. And I brought tea too, in case you didn't feel like being hungover tomorrow at work. I also brought a lot of junk food, chips, and sweets. It's a peace offering? I feel horrible for having dragged you in my family mess and for my words. I wasn't implying anything that time, I was just worried about you, because only a blind man wouldn't see how fondly you were being stared at. I don't know the details but we've known each other for years. I wasn't a good friend then, I would like to be a good friend now? if...Jimin? Are you ok?”

It was Seokjin. He was standing there in the same spot Jungkook had been standing the day before, and they had the same eyes, the same dumb facial expression, the same way of stumbling upon their sincerity.

But Seokjin was the one there. Jungkook wasn't there anymore.

“You two truly are really related, aren't you?” Jimin commented with a laugh in his voice, before starting to cry. 

He sobbed ugly, like only a child would, for what he had wasted, for what he had never understood of himself, for what he had to let go.

Seokjin looked dumbstruck for a moment, then without saying a word, he abandoned the bags with food and alcohol on the floor and hugged Jimin. 

“It's going to be fine,” he murmured in his ear.

It was the favorite phrase of all the adults. It's going to be fine, it's going to be fine. Even when you knew it wasn't going to. Jimin hoped this time it would be true.

Time passes even when you think that it's never going to pass.

Christmas was barely two weeks away, his ticket train to Busan to go stay with his family was already booked. 

All of Jungkook's postcards were gingerly hanged on the dashboard next to his fridge.

Jungkook had kept his promise, and aside from some texting and occasionally e-mails he also made sure to send him a postcard every month. Everytime a different place in Paris Jimin supposed the younger visited. They were gorgeous and they were made with a type of care and affection that warmed Jimin's heart.

He called them postcards but they were pictures, taken and printed by Jungkook himself with some words scrapped behind them, "You would have liked it here," or "This color would have suited you."

It was lovely. It was. Basically the only thing that made Jimin feel like a functional human being.

The thing was, something had awakened inside him and for god's sake, he didn't have any idea how to tamper it down.

Once Jimin managed to stop crying like a stupid lovesick fool after Jungkook's departure (he was pretty sure Seokjin's shirt was never going to be the same), another type of sadness had taken over him.

Something that was definitely harder to chase away than a heartbreak, something that made Hoseok and Taehyung watch him in worry as they didn't understand what had happened to him to make him look like he had lost to himself.

The reason why he had been so reluctant to speak to Jungkook at first was that he had always thought he was far from being an example for anybody, yet not because he thought his life wasn't the right way of living. But because a part of him did it begrudgingly.

Deep down he had always known he hadn't just settled down. He had given up. 

He had trashed away his dreams, deeming them as adolescent fantasies and he had embraced his life because those were the following steps in front of him.

He had done it and he had been almost proud of his determination, like being a killer of dreams was something to encourage and promote.

Then Jungkook came, so full of youth, so full of spirit, so determined to do what he wanted in life no matter the danger or the sacrifice. So ready to not feel satisfied with a second best. Eagerly committed to living his life without regrets.

Jimin didn't want Jungkook lifestyle, he personally thought it didn't suit him.

Yet it was undeniably true that he didn't want his life anymore either. Maybe he had never wanted it.

Jungkook had come and had turned his world upside down and as Jimin watched him go and leave everything that could pin him down behind, Jimin wasn't only trashed by longing but also by envy of how capable Jungkook was, at just 22 year old.

Suddenly, it made Jimin feel frustrated with every little and big decision he had taken since he had finished high school.

He didn't know that with those logical acts he had been building the walls of the crypt where he found himself now lying. 

So he woke up in the morning, dressed on autopilot, got his coffee and went to work, praying in his head every damn morning for it to be quick and harmless. He would breathe properly only when his watch showed 5 pm, the time he could go back home and try to pretend he didn't have to go back to his job the day after.

Everything felt tasteless. Jimin didn't find any reason for doing what he was doing, as if a veil had finally been taken from his eyes and he could finally see things for real. 

It was a stretch he hadn't run in the middle of the day just to scream on top of his lungs how desperate and rotten he was.

"You are not doing well," it wasn't even a question but a plain statement. 

Taehyung had decided to intervene and had dragged him to the nearest coffee shop, hoping bribery would work. Actually, judging from the sternness of his gaze, he didn't look like he has any intention to fall for Jimin bullshit.

Jimin had tried to do as nothing had changed, but he knew he had probably done a poor job.

Everything had changed, after all.

"No. I'm not doing well. I think maybe I've not been doing well for a while," Jimin admitted, taking a big sip.

He had a train to catch in few hours, but Taehyung had insisted to talk before they didn't see each other for the festivity weeks.

And probably a part of Jimin was tired of trying to silence himself.

"This is not about Jungkook, but I believe he has something to do with it," Taehyung continued and really, Jimin should had given his best friend more credit.

It was as if he had already known without Jimin having to mention it.

"He told me I was scared. He told me I was unhappy. This would hurt less if I weren't aware that even if he was still here, I would still be broken. He is the one that went away but I'm the one who is not moving."

In a fairy tale maybe Jungkook would have stayed to see if they had a future, or Jimin would have just grabbed a suitcase and thrown away a life he didn't like, he had never liked, and gone with him.

But this wasn't a fantasy, just plain reality, and Jimin hadn't asked Jungkook to stay, the same way Jungkook hadn't asked him to follow.

Jimin was wrong about everything, except the part where he said they were two different worlds apart. Even though it was Jungkook who was winning the race of life.

"Then do something about it," Taehyung replied making Jimin scoff.

"You make it sound so simple."

"It is simple, I've already told you. It's what comes later that is more complicated to sort out. But you are smart, best student of your course! You'll figure something out," Taehyung said with a reassuring smile.

Jimin would have liked to kick him. How dare he come here and tell Jimin what he had been craving to hear all along and make it sound so easy? 

Jimin wasn't Jungkook, he was never going to be as brave and as resourceful as him.

He was just himself.

Jimin ducked in his head, unable to come back with a proper reply and Taehyung as the friend he was, let it go, to give him some room to think about it.

Later that day, when he got back to his apartment to fetch his suitcase and go to the train station, he found that the mailman had left another postcard in his mailbox.

"Hope the new year will grant you all your wishes. 

With all my love, Jungkook."

It was a shot taken from a considerable height, a beautiful panoramic view of a freshly snowed Paris.

He remembered how Jungkook had once told him that whenever he looked at the landscape from a higher point of view, he felt like his problems weren't so overwhelming. 

"It's like the sky is soothing me, hyung," he had said with childlike joy.

Staring at the picture Jimin felt like wanting to reach that sky too. Like maybe he was finally being able to.

"Your vacancy won't be replaced right away so if you change your mind during that time, do not hesitate to call us back. Even in the future, if you would like to apply again, we would be glad to offer you a job."

That was what his boss said when Jimin gave him his resignation letter.

He had poured his everything in his job despite not liking it, for ten years, so him quitting might have resulted in a shock.

After all, Jimin had never voiced any complain, and it wasn't like he had any reason to.

It was a fine job, his colleagues were polite, his goals were stressing but not impossible. It was an average, well paid job, in the financial district. But it wasn't what Jimin wanted anymore.

He probably hadn't wanted it right from the beginning, but he was too afraid to disappoint his family and his own expectations, to refuse the role when he had been hired. Back then, he had thought it was going to just be a temporary solution to be able to save money and pay the bills while waiting for a more promising future. That future never came. And Jimin ended up staying there for almost ten years, until his heart had been anesthetized.

It was time, he told himself, even though a part of him was scared shitless. It was time for him to actively operate for his happiness.

It was an even bigger surprise for his friends and family when Jimin announced his plans and he would have laughed at their shocked faces if he hadn't been aware of what was at stake.

His life.

However, as the over-analytical person he was, he didn't throw himself into the void. Maybe he did something revolutionary for his usual ordinary life, but it was too ingrained in him. The need to plan and evaluate options beforehand.

After he came back from his Christmas holidays, he took some time for himself, to reflect upon his situation. He had basically ghosted all of his friends' invitations. However none had come complaining how he had become antisocial, and neither had they come to ask if he was still heartbroken.

They all knew that Jungkook and Jimin had had something going on, even though the only one updated with the details was Taehyung.

Taehyung, who, by the way, was also probably responsible for the reason why his friends hadn't insisted for him to get out more. Jimin was ready to bet Taehyung had made sure to pass the message to not bother him.

Jimin was grateful. He didn't know if he would have ever going to be able to explain four times why he wasn't feeling well.

By the end of February, he had browsed, found and being offered a couple of interesting job opportunities in Seoul and Busan. In the latter though, he had to start from scratch. It would also allow him more free time, enough to apply to some after work courses.

Jimin would have to be a junior again, but he had never been more eager to start over with what he liked this time.

After all, he had saved a lot of money during the years, and it wasn't like his purpose in life was to be the richest person in the cemetery.

But before deciding on a job (he had narrowed his options to 3), he wanted to take some time for himself.

"Wait so you are going to Ireland? Not France?" Hoseok shouted in the middle of the restaurant like he was afraid the convenience store at the end of the street hadn't heard him.

Nobody shushed him, probably all his friends were thinking the same.

Why wasn't he going to visit Jungkook?

"This is about Jimin, Hoseok, not Jungkook," surprisingly, or maybe not, the one who came to his rescue was Seokjin.

After Jimin had sobbed on his shirt and over a bottle of whiskey, Seokjin had been very mindful, not inquiring further about what had happened between him and Jungkook, and he kept casually updating Jimin over his cousin’s whereabouts.

Jungkook had emailed him but they seemed to have mutually agreed to keep their texting at a minimum. The time zones also made it kinda difficult to keep in touch via messages.

"But he is in love with him!" Hoseok replied, making everyone groan in unison while Jimin wanted to hide under the table.

"Please make your boyfriend shut up," Yoongi muttered from the end of the table. Hoseok looked regretful and he was about to apologize, but Jimin shook his head. 

"Yes I am." If nobody gasped, it was probably because Seokjin and Taehyung were laser gazing at every person seated at the table.

"But we are both starting over and that requires a lot of effort and time. Maybe if we are lucky, we'll cross paths again or maybe not. I'm still happy we met though," Jimin said, and despite being painful, he accepted the truth of it.

Hoseok looked completely unconvinced, after all he was the type of guy who believed that love could conquer everything, yet he didn't add another comment and accepted Jimin's words.

Jimin would have so liked for Hoseok to be right in his beliefs.

"But you are coming back, aren’t you?" He then added as he couldn't refrain from saying at least that.

Jimin giggled, endeared.

"Who knows. Maybe I'll be the one going away too." 

Utter chaos followed these words making Jimin laugh and also feeling so loved.

"You better come back!" Seokjin exclaimed dramatically causing Jimin to double on his chair in laughter.

Yes, he was loved. Hopefully one day he would be able to do the same too.

The hallways that led to the exit in the Dublin airport seemed unending, and Jimin was bursting in anticipation. He liked it already, even though he didn't know why.

Even the cloudy weather looked lovely to him. He asked himself if every time Jungkook moved around he always felt so empowered, and that was the reason why he kept going. 

Maybe one day he would be able to ask him in person.

When he finally spotted the exit doors, Jimin sighed in relief and took out his phone to check the better route to reach the city center.

The automatic doors opened for him as he distractedly passed by the arriving area, trying to convince his phone to latch itself to the airport wifi. 

"Jimin hyung."

Jimin froze in his spot so abruptly the lady behind him almost crashed into him. 

He knew he should have apologized, but suddenly all he could do was to look for the source of that voice. 

He needed to check if it had been a hallucination or not, heart beating so fast and loud he felt his chest constricted.

Then finally his gaze found him.

His hair was long enough to get curly on the edges. It framed his face beautifully. He wore the widest of smiles. He looked somehow taller, buffer, he looked more mature, yet the same breathtaking Jungkook. 

In that moment Jimin realized that if there was a time in life to be overdramatic, that time was now. 

He abandoned his suitcase there and ran.

Jungkook's smile, if possible, became even wider as he opened his arms to welcome Jimin.

Jimin dived in, letting those arms hold him tight as he threw his arms around Jungkook's neck and held him equally tight.

"How? When?" Jimin murmured, unable to form coherent words as he buried his nose into Jungkook's neck and inhaled his scent. He had missed him. Oh how he had missed him.

"A little bird told me you were coming here. I had to be here no matter what. I am so proud of you, hyung," Jungkook said, kissing Jimin’s temple tenderly.

"Thank you," Jimin said, feeling his eyes pricking with unshed tears. He could have said a lot of things, like “I miss you” and “I love you”, yet, more than anything, he wanted to thank Jungkook for showing him how things could be. 

"Hyung. I know I am terrible. Too eager, too unreliable, I know. But I also know that one day, moving around will get tiring. Discovering new things will lose its thrill, and the only thing I would long for would be home. Until the time when I can come back to you to stay, please allow me to be near you as much as we can. I love you."

Jimin squeezed him tighter.

Maybe a lot of time would pass until their paths would not only cross but also intertwine again. Maybe it wouldn't be easy and it wouldn't be painless.

But what Jungkook had gifted him was more than love. It was the hope in believing everything could be possible.

Jimin nodded, and then getting on his toes, he sealed their promise with a kiss.

Balla beautiful artwork!