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Refractory period - a study in trust

Summary:

Giving into the inevitable Kakashi groaned as he levered himself up to answer the door.
Please let it be Gai.

Please let it be Gai. (And those were not words he'd ever thought he'd say.)


It was not Gai.

When Naruto is upset and needing advice he goes to Kakashi. The problem? This may not be advice that Kakashi is in the best place to give. Whoever said being a friend was easy?

A study in the effects of a jinchūriki's biology on relationships.

Notes:

Hi!

I'm fairly new to writing so would love to hear what you think. Constructive criticism welcome.

Comments, feedback and kudos welcomed even more (and incredibly desperately appreciated).

Thanks for reading.

Work Text:

Kakashi frowned as he listened to someone pound on his front door. For the tenth time in five minutes.


Burying his head deeper into his pillow he groaned in acknowledgement that whoever it was at the door was not going away. Which, when you thought about it, considerably narrowed down the possibility of who it could be.


There were only a few people he could think of off the top of his head who would be bothering him this early in the morning; Sai would have given up already, as would any messengers from the Hokage (or they would have gone through his window). If it was Sakura there would have been shrieking along with the pounding and if it was Tsunade…well, lets just say he wouldn’t still have a door at this point (or any unbroken bones for that matter). Sasake was currently out of the village and not expected back till next week and even if he was back early Kakashi highly doubted his apartment would be the first place he’d call.


So basically, it was going to be either Naruto or Gai. Either of whom would be painful to see, if for different reasons. If it was Gai he would be here for another challenge and it was just too damn early in the morning for that.


And if it was Naruto…

 

Well. There was a reason he had become even more of a hermit than usual lately.

 

Watching Naruto, who’d finally grown into himself, dancing around the village with little miss perfect princess Hyuuga was a bit more than he could handle. (It was bad enough when he’d found out Naruto and Neji had had a one nice stand). Kakashi may be a masochist with a tendency towards analysing and revisiting emotionally traumatic events but even he had his limit. And watching the man he’d only recently realised he’d fallen head over heels in love with go around with someone else was more than he could handle.

 

Whoever it was knocking was still going.

 

Giving into the inevitable Kakashi groaned as he levered himself up to answer.

 

Please let it be Gai.

 

 

Please let it be Gai. (And those were not words he'd ever thought he'd say.)

 

 

 

It was not Gai.

 

Kakashi could only blink in bemusement as a dishevelled and ranting Naruto pushed his way into the flat. His disbelief growing as he watched Naruto, bluster around his kitchen like a blonde tornado, making tea and… wait, was that instant Raman? Where the hell had Naruto managed to find instant Raman in Kakashi’s kitchen? There shouldn’t be any Raman, instant or otherwise, in that kitchen.

 

As if jolted out of his head by the sheer ridiculousness of that thought Kakashi finally tuned in to what Naruto was saying.


“…and then she was like ‘its ok. I won’t be mad. Please stop lying and just tell me what you took’ and I was like ‘I haven’t. Taken. Anything’ and then she was all ‘You obviously have! Just tell me what it was!’ and I was ‘But I haven’t!’ and then she was ‘You obviously have! That’s not normal. It was Sakura wasn’t it?! She’s given you something’. So, I yelled that I’ve always been like this! And that for the last time I hadn’t taken anything!”


Kakashi still wasn’t exactly sure what Naruto was talking about but whatever it was had obviously upset him. The golden whirlwind had finally seated himself across from Kakashi at the small kitchen table and was currently gulping down a steaming cup of instant Raman like there was no tomorrow as he continued ranting in between mouthfuls. His face turning redder the more upset he got. And dear Kami, where those tears starting? Kakashi was not equipped to deal with tears!


“And then she went ‘Well I don’t think I can be with someone who doesn’t tell me the truth’…”

 

Between the obvious upset and the Raman consumption Naruto’s speech was almost unintelligible at this point.

 

“…so I said, ‘Well I can’t be with someone who doesn’t trust me’. And I just… I just… I don’t understand Kakashi, where did we go wrong?”

 

Kakashi could only blink in the silence, staring at Naruto’s devastated face. There had been words there in Naruto’s ranting. Definitely individual words that Kakashi had understood but the speech as a whole? Nope. No sense whatsoever.

 

It probably hadn’t helped that Naruto’s arm muscles bunched rather nicely every time he’d waved his arms. Very distracting that.
Naruto still looked upset though so Kakashi felt he should probably seek some clarification.

 

“What?”

 

What? He was a man of few words and it was early. If Naruto wanted a monolog he should have gone to Sakura.

 

Naruto just stared morosely down into his empty ramen bowl in answer.

 

Kami. Looked like whatever argument Naruto had had with this girl, probably Hinata, was serious then.

 

And as much as Kakashi wanted to be jumping for joy (internally mind you – he wasn’t Gai) that not all was perfect in the life of little-miss-Hyuuga-princess, he couldn’t bare seeing Naruto so downtrodden. Naruto was sunshine in the darkness. It wasn’t right seeing him so beaten.

 

Kami was this going to suck. Taking a deep breath Kakashi braced himself to act as a friend and see if he couldn’t fix whatever had caused Naruto’s problem.

 

“Naruto, what happened?” Kakashi asked again.

 

The silence was overbearing as Kakashi waited for Naruto to look up and answer him. Definitely something bad then. Maybe Hinata had gotten jealous about Naruto spending time with Sakura? (Kakashi was certain her name had cropped up somewhere in the rant earlier). Or maybe one of Naruto’s plants had died? That would definitely upset him. Although why Hinata would be upset about it Kakashi had no idea. Of course, it could be something ninja related. Maybe Naruto had been tagged for a trading or seduction mission (Kakashi would love to know what drugs the Hokage had been smoking if that was the case. And where could he get some. Naruto was not the type meant for honeypot missions in Kakashi’s expert opinion. Not that he wasn’t seductive – the number of inconvenient boners Kakashi achieved around him could certainly attest to Naruto’s level of attractiveness. It’s just honeypot missions required a certain level of, if not callousness, at least an emotional and physical sociopathic disconnect. Something that Naruto certainly didn’t have).

 

Or Kami. Maybe she had told Naruto to get rid of the orange? That would be like telling Gai his suits made him look like a giant fluoro bug. Certain to cause the argument to end all argument. Naruto without orange would be like, like, Pukkan without his Hitai-ate and jacket or Bull without his studded choker. Still them but just wrong. If that woman had told Naruto to get rid of his orange they would be having words! Maybe Kakashi could…

 

“Hinata and I broke up”.

 

 

What?

 

“What?”

 

“Hinata and I broke up” confirmed Naruto.

 

Kakashi could only stare in disbelief as Naruto continued.

 

“We had a fight this morning, we've been fighting a lot recently, and I told her I wanted to break up. That we obviously weren’t right for each other and that I didn’t want to see her anymore, so it was over and then I walked out”.

 

 

 

Kakashi’s heart jolted in his chest. He felt frozen with indecision (to be fair a not common occurrence for any occasion where he had to deal with feelings). On the one hand this was every one of his fantasies come true (well, at least most of the non x-rated ones anyway) but… Naruto was upset and more than any of his other fantasies Kakashi wanted the one where Naruto was happy to come true (even if that meant he was happy with someone else).

 

Kakashi braced himself. This would probably be one of the most painful things he’d ever had to do (and that included the singing challenge Gai had come up with back when they first became rivals).

 

“I’m sure we can fix this” consoled Kakashi gently as he looked at Naruto from across his small kitchen table. “Just tell me what happened from the top and I’ll see what I can do to help”.

 

Unusually for Naruto he paused for several moments before answering, his voice sad but firm.

 

“That’s just it Kaka-sensei. I don’t think I want to fix this.”

 

Captivated, Kakashi could only watch spellbound as Naruto met his eyes across the table. Every inch the Hokage Kakashi knew he would be shining through.

 

“She didn’t believe me Kakashi. Even after I swore on my love for Konoha she was convinced I was lying. And I know what you’re going to say – ‘we’re shinobi, lying’s what we do’”

 

(Kakashi subtly tried to close his mouth. That had been exactly what he had been about to say).

 

“And I know that. I understand that. But the thing is…”

 

Kakashi was held spellbound as Naruto paused for breathe.

 

“The thing is I can’t be. No. I won’t be, with someone who thinks my word is worth so little…Who thinks I am worth so little”.

 

Naruto’s courage finally seemed to run out at that point, as he turned his saddened eyes back to his empty ramen bowl.

 

Released from Naruto’s spell, Kakashi didn’t quite know how to react. On the one hand he was devastated at the pain Naruto was going through, while on the other hand he was so proud of Naruto finally acknowledging his self-worth and not accepting less than an equal partnership based on mutual trust and respect (and for someone like Naruto, who had grown up with so little and who was constantly called a liar – his word was something he valued highly). Kakashi himself wasn’t so good with that one – his relationships tended to run towards either casual hook-ups or the emotionally abusive direction. One of the reasons he loved Icha Icha so much was the emotionally supportive and respectful romantic relationships the series depicted (of course, if anyone ever asked it was only the porn he was interested in).

 

“Okay”.

 

Naruto looked up at that.

 

“Okay? I bare my heart and soul to you and all I get is an okay?!”

 

Kakashi paused to think about that for a few moments as he eye smiled at Naruto from across the table.

 

“Yep.”

 

Steam came out of Naruto’s ears at the flippant answer. Ah mission accomplished thought Kakashi, giving himself a pat on the back for managing to get this sorted without having to talk feelings. At least if Naruto was busy being annoyed at Kakashi than he couldn’t continue to be sad.

 

Kakashi’s self-satisfaction was short lived however, as he watched Naruto slip back into blackness as he went back to staring at his empty bowl.

 

Oh kami. It looked like he wasn’t getting out of this.

 

“Naruto”.

 

Kakashi took a deep breath as Naruto looked up at the sound of his voice. No sound of mocking to be found.

 

Kakashi could feel the blush rising up over his mask as he did his best (which was substantial if he did say so himself) to look everywhere but into the eyes of the hero across from him.

 

“You’re right”

 

Kakashi watched out of the corner of his eye as Naruto jolted at his speech.

 

“Naruto Uzumaki, you are funny and amazing and the bravest person I know. You never give up on people – even when we probably deserve it.”

 

Holding up a hand in case Naruto tried to interrupt Kakashi continued in a rush.

 

“And yes, you are loud and boisterous, have the attention span of a nat and a rather disturbing obsession with ramen…”

 

(“Hey!”)

 

“…but you are also kind and thoughtful and you always, always believe in us even when we don’t believe in ourselves. And you push us and push us to be the best that we can be – both as shinobi and as people. And you help us to feel brave, and to have hope, even when everything around us tells us that is impossible. And I know you Naruto, your word is your Nindo. Once you have given it you will do everything possible, and even the impossible, to keep it.”

 

Out of the corner of his eye Kakashi could see Naruto staring at his face, tears trickling down from his eyes. Kakashi could feel his blush burning brighter as he rushed to get the last bit out.

 

“…And no, I don’t know what the argument was about or what exactly was said. But I know you Naruto, and if you’ve sworn, you’re not lying then I believe you. You are not a liar.”

 

Kakashi continued to star fixedly at his kitchen wall while his words hung in the air.

 

“…and if you tell anyone I said this I will cover you in honey and leave you tied up in the giant ants nest in the Forest of Death while I burn everything orange that you own.”

 

Naruto paused in his sudden rush round the table.

 

“Everything?”

 

“Everything.” Confirmed Kakashi.

 

After a few moments of this strange Mexican standoff Naruto obviously decided the orange was too great and sat back down.

 

Kakashi continued to look anywhere but at Naruto in the moments that followed.

 

“Thanks Kakashi. You always know just what to say and you’re always there for me…”

 

(Kakashi watched as Naruto fidgeted in the silence that followed. It was amusing to watch the pressure build as Naruto tried to contain it. Let’s see, it should be in 3, 2, 1…)

 

“…it’s a pity I can’t just date you”.

 

The explosion from Kakashi’s brain melting should have been detectable from space.

 

Frozen in shock Kakashi could only stutter as his face finally turned permanently tomato coloured.

 

“What?!I…that is…um…yes…ok…you should…or not…if you don’t…wait is this a prank?...I don’t…um…”

 

Kakashi wanted to bang his head on the table in despair. Give him an assassination to plan and execute or a war to plan and run against impossible odds and he’s your man, but ask him to try and produce a straight sentence when asked out by someone he was interested in (admittedly this was the first time this had actually happened) and he completely fell apart.

 

The stuttering got even worse as Naruto abandoned his spot to come check Kakashi’s forehead temperature, panicking that he might be sick.

 

“Are you ok? What’s wrong? Where are you hurt? Was it poison? You feel hot. It was poison wasn’t it. Do you know who did it? What type is it? Do I need to get you to the hospital? Who am I kidding of course you need the hospital. Or wait no! Sakura! I’ll run and get Sakura or maybe Baa-chan…”

 

Of course, the physical touching from Naruto’s golden muscled arms just sent Kakashi into even more of a tailspin.

 

Matters would probably have continued on in this vein for several minutes had not Pakkun decided to come complain about the noise waking him from his nap on the couch.

 

Taking a seat between the two idiots (one running his hands over the other to check for injury and the other a jolting mess due to the proximity of said hands), Pakkun allowed the hilarious scene to continue a few more moments in revenge before finally taking pity on his summoner.

 

Yelling to interrupt, Pakkun managed to get Naruto’s attention.

 

“Oi! Fox boy! If you’re gonna cause Kakashi to breakdown could you at least do it quietly?”

 

“What? Pakkun! Can’t you see something’s wrong with Kakashi?! We need to get him to the med-nins now!”

 

“Nah he’s fine kid. Just having a problem asking you out on a date. And you feeling him up isn’t exactly helping with the upper body brain power if you know what I mean”.

 

“What?”

 

That seemed to throw Naruto for a loop. But at least he had removed his hands from Kakashi’s body which was giving his brain a chance to come back online. It was also, it must be said, giving Kakashi more time to wish that he could spontaneous combust or to decide which earth jitsu to use to get the earth to swallow him up.

 

That traitorous dog was still speaking. Kakashi bet whoever had the cats’ summons didn’t have this problem.

 

“Yeah. Kashi here’s head over heels for you. Been pining for you for ages. Course you were with that Hyuuga girl so its not like Kashi would do anything to break you up.” Considering the conversation over Pakkun shrugged in the way only a ninja-dog could, grabbed some of the uneaten food Naruto put on the table for Kakashi, before making his way back to bed.

 

Kakashi really should stop letting the pack sleep over so much.

 

The moment of distraction over with Kakashi cursed himself for not making a break for it while he had the chance. He could only watch helplessly as Naruto’s hands reached out to grab his.

 

“Kakashi, will you look at me?”

 

Obeying Naruto in that moment was the hardest thing Kakashi had ever done. Looking into Naruto’s eyes, he braced himself for whatever was to come. Kakashi wasn’t the type to get happy endings.

 

Naruto stared at him for several moments. If Kakashi was the poetic type he would say something like Naruto was staring into his soul. (That couldn’t be right though – Naruto was smiling. No one who could see the blackness of Kakashi’s soul would ever be smiling at him).
Naruto continued to smile.

 

It was several moments later, when Kakashi had cycled through several moments of awe (that Naruto hadn’t just punched his face in and left) and despair (that meant the punch was still coming damn it) that Naruto finally broke the silence.

 

“Kakashi, I know that I always ask a lot of you but if you can I would ask one more thing. You can say no ok. That’s fine. But I’d really like it if you’d consider my request first ok. Can you promise me that?”

 

Kakashi felt like he was at the end of his tether. Like he’d float away if he wasn’t careful. It took him several moments of concentration to understand what it was Naruto was asking.

 

Caught in the magic of Naruto’s gaze Kakashi did something he rarely ever did. He took a chance.

 

Nodding his head Kakashi waited to see where Naruto would take this.

 

Naruto paused again for several moments. His mouth opening and closing. Finally, he seemed to come to a decision.

 

“Kakashi, if you will let me, I would really like to take you on a date tonight. So, um, would you like to join me for a night out?”

 

Naruto stared at Kakashi. Eyes wide with hope.

 

Kakashi was busy trying to work out when he fell asleep and started dreaming. Must have slipped and been knocked unconscious earlier. This was a lovely dream though.

 

…That probably meant this was a genjutsu. Kakashi pulsed his chakra to disperse it.

 

…Naruto hadn’t disappeared.

 

Did that mean this was real?

 

Kakashi’s heart started pounding in terror. All he could hear was his pulse pounding in his ears.

 

Naruto’s face was starting to look worried now.

 

“It’s ok Kaka-sensei. I understand. Don’t stress. If you’ve ever interested just let me know ok? I won’t bug you about this again”. Naruto’s face had fallen while he was speaking.

 

Kakashi was wrong earlier when he thought that meeting Naruto’s gaze was the hardest thing he’d ever done. This was. Watching Naruto, the man known for his limitless optimism, start to lose it and know that he was the cause? That was the most painful thing he’d ever been through.

 

Watching the fake smile dawn on Naruto’s face (Kakashi hated Naruto’s fake smiles. He hated it even more that it had taken him so long to learn the difference between Naruto’s real and fake smiles. Once he had Kakashi had never wanted to be the case of a Naruto fake smile again), Kakashi couldn’t help think about what he’d said to Naruto earlier – that he was the person that made others feel brave.

 

Maybe it was time he tried some of that bravery.

 

Catching Naruto’s hand as he turned away Kakashi tried to find his voice (commanding troops, no problem but try to talk about feelings and it was like he turned into a mute).

 

“Naruto. I. yes”.

 

Kakashi’s throat closed up. That was as much as he could get out. Naruto, Kami bless his soul, seemed to realise that.

 

Turning back Naruto faced Kakashi fully his face dawning with realisation.

 

“Kakashi, I’m going to ask you something and I need you to nod or shake your head ok”.

 

Thank you Kami. Naruto may have said that Kakashi knew him but he knew Kakashi just as well. Starting to relax Kakashi nodded in answer.

 

Smiling slighting Naruto asked again, “Kakashi, will you go out with me?”

 

Holding Naruto’s eyes Kakashi nodded once sharply.

 

The smile on Naruto’s face was like the sun coming out.

 

Kakashi could feel his blush coming back full force. Looking down he watched as Naruto retook both of his hands in his. It had only been a couple of seconds but he had forgotten how warm Naruto was. He could feel that heat travelling all the way through his body. Looking up again he smiled at Naruto’s grin.

 

“Ok Kakashi, here’s another one. Is it ok if I kiss you now?”

 

You could have cooked an egg on Kakashi’s face right now considering how hot it was. Mustering up the final bit of his courage he nodded again.

 

That obviously wasn’t’ the answer Naruto expected considering how wide his eyes went. Kakashi could hear Naruto swallow as he moved closer to Kakashi, his hands moving to Kakashi’s upper arms.

 

Shaking with nerves Kakashi reached up to pull his mask down, only to pause in confusion as Naruto grabbed his hand to stop him

 

“Don’t. I’m gonna close my eyes ok? I’d really like to see you but I can wait until you’re ready Kakashi.”

 

While Kakashi paused in shock, a feeling of warmth blossoming in his heart, Naruto moved forward those last few inches, eyes closed, to lightly press his lips against Kakashi’s masked ones.

 

If the previous kisses Kakashi had experienced had been good then this one blew them out of the water. The tiniest brush of lips and Kakashi felt like he could fly to the sun.

 

Smiling gently Kakashi moved further into Naruto’s embrace. A small trickle of blood coming from his nose as he imagined how good the kisses would be once he was comfy enough to remove his mask.

 

They stayed that way for several minutes. Lips brushing softly through fabric, breath mingling as both Naruto and Kakashi enjoyed the moment.
With one final lingering sweet kiss Kakashi watched as Naruto moved back and smiled at him. He felt weird, like his head had been stuffed full of cotton wool and that he was floating and filled with sparkles at the same time.

 

“I’ll come pick you up at seven then” said Naruto.

 

“Ok” answered Kakashi, nodding back. Great, we were back to monosyllabic answers, and was that a squeak?! At least he had managed to nod.

 

Naruto must have brushed up on his Kakashi-to-English dictionary however as smiled wider while finally heading towards the door. His bouncing and energetic self restored for the moment.

 

“Wonderful. I look forward to seeing to then. Don’t worry about a think ok. I’ll take care of everything. You just turn up, relax and look beautiful as always.”

 

Oh wonderful. The blushing was back. Kakashi could feel his cheeks heat again as Naruto turned back to face him from the doorway with that tender smile on his face. Kakashi prayed to all that was good in the world that Anko, Genma and Gai never found out about this moment.

 

“Look forward to it.” Smiled Kakashi, his voice finally starting to work again. With one final smile at each other, Kakashi watched as Naruto turned to leave.

 

“Oh Naruto,” asked Kakashi before Naruto could get out of hearing distance, the question just now occurring to him. “What exactly was it that Hinata believed you were lying about?”

 

“What? Oh nothing important.” Said Naruto offhandedly as he headed out the door. “Basically my healing abilities mean that I don’t have a refractory period. She reckoned I’d taken some pills to keep going all night. I said no and that that was just normal for me”.

 

Kakashi’s body froze as he processed this. As both a male and a student of the Icha Icha he was in a unique position to understand exactly what this meant.
Looked like it would be interesting once they finally got to the unclothed stage…

 

Kakashi’s resulting nosebleed blew him through both the table and several apartment walls.

 

Despite the damage, he could only grin up at his neighbours ceiling in glee. Bits of wall and the results of his nosebleed scattered on the floor around him.

 

Dating Naruto was going to be so sooo much fun. He couldn’t wait for tonight.