Chapter Text
\\xxXxx//
"Derek? Do- do you know who I am?" Stiles sputtered as the boy accosting him -the future love of his life- falters slightly in grasp, but never in intensity. Scott, standing behind them, can't take it anymore.
"Stiles I'm sorry, but he's hurting you, and he seems really out of it." Stiles didn't notice the side mirror digging into him. The pain -he thought- was a manifestation of what he saw in the boy’s eyes; searching and wandering, yet full of discontent. The other riders in the car were now fully awake and looking warily as Scott's phone buzzed with an alert from Braeden.
While Scott is temporarily distracted with his phone, Stiles looks again at Derek. He swears he can see a glimmer of the chocolate brown eyes tinged with gold behind the blue that shines so wildly at him. Giving Scott the go-ahead, he realizes he doesn’t know what Derek is seeing, but it’s not him. Scott grabs Derek's shoulder, tearing him roughly from Stiles, who falls to the ground, finally aware of the physical pain in his back and the fact that Derek had him lifted a couple of inches off the ground. He feels pins and needles in his wobbly legs and at the center of his heart as Derek again lurches towards him without motivation.
"Derek, stop!" Scott yells as he flashes his eyes dominant alpha red, willing obedience and submission from the beta. Derek collapses with a whine and Scott picks him up, hauling him again into the back of the Jeep. He grabs Stiles who stands there, still shocked and sad, pulling him away while the girls resituate themselves for the rest of the ride.
"Dude! Stiles, what the hell was that? He could have killed you!" Scott checks Stiles over as Stiles shakes his head.
"He wouldn't have- I mean... Dude, he just needed to pee. I didn't expect him to go all Cujo on me okay?" Scott grabbed Stiles by the crook of his elbow, squeezing to hold his focus.
"Well, what did you say to him?" Stiles tried to control his breathing, yet he’s still unable to make full eye contact with his best friend.
"Nothing, Scott. Shit, he just came back and crowded me against the car and... and I don't fucking know, okay? Look, Braeden is waiting to sneak us back across the border -we have to go now- there's no time for this." Stiles tries to pull away, but Scott just clamps his hand around Stiles’ arm harder.
"Stiles, what is this?" He asks, softly yet firmly, gesturing towards the Jeep.
"This is nothing. Jesus, Scott, just - let’s go, we don’t have time for it!" Stiles says with finality as he finally wrenches his elbow from Scott's vice.
"You're right, we don't have time for this now, but time will be made, Stiles. We’re gonna talk about it." Stiles slumps a bit, but nods and pats Scott on the back as they make their way back to the others.
Scott was now wide awake and watching Stiles like a hawk. Instead of concentrating on Derek, Stiles concentrated on the drive; on the road and the miles until they were back in Beacon Hills. They dropped off Kira and Malia and headed to Deaton’s with Derek in tow.
It was decided -much to Stiles’ chagrin- that Lydia would stay with Derek at Deaton’s while Scott and Stiles went to their respective homes to rest. Stiles should have been glad for the break, but he knew that even with one of his dad's Xanax, he wouldn’t be able to sleep. Now that he was armed with the knowledge that Derek was here -that he was real- his body seemed to be in a constant state of awareness and odd readiness. Ready for what, he didn't quite know. When Derek lunged at him, it didn’t seem like he was angry, but instead inquisitive, searching. He let the possibilities brew in his mind; or stew rather, since they threatened to consume him as he drove with Scott.
“Okay bro, enough. You’ve been zoned out this whole time, you gotta tell me what’s going on!” Stiles put his hands up after pulling in front of Scott’s house.
“Dude, please, just fucking please! I know you won’t believe me when I say there’s nothing to tell, but there's not! I’m just shell shocked and I’m exhausted and I have to go home. Please just, any other time in the not-so-distant future? Can this search for the nothing that's not happening, not be had then?!” Stiles watched Scott try to navigate his way through Stiles’ words and hoped it was enough to deter him from any more questions. Stiles knew Scott was worried for him. He hadn’t been this visibly frustrated since a night a long time ago. Back then Stiles was hiding something, and he knew that Scott knew he was hiding something now. Scott shrugged and slumped out of the car before looking back through the window.
“Okay, dude. Hey, I’m sorry, it’s late, or early now I guess, I get it. I just want to make sure you’re okay, alright? I love you man, you’re my brother, I can help you carry whatever this is.” Stiles looked at Scott, suspiciously, but then sympathetic. He understood Scott was just looking out for him, but he didn’t have the heart to tell him that this was a journey he needed to make alone.
“Thanks man, but really, there’s nothing. Look, I’ll see you in the morning at school, and after, we can go to Deaton’s and try to figure this young Derek thing out.” Scott walked to his house, waving to Stiles as he made his way through the front door. Stiles headed home in a haze, trying to process the last few days.
At home, Stiles sat and waited. He knew what he was waiting for, but he thought about what he used to wait for as he thumbed through pictures of Derek in the old yearbook. He memorized each page, even catching Derek in background scenes of photos where he's wasn’t listed: Laughing with Paige behind the chess club photo, rough housing with friends in the back of the cafeteria where the Mathletes were taking their picture.
Stiles was exhausted, but he found he couldn't sleep without this peaceful moment before he went down. It was probably the fatigue that allowed him to justify his obsession, but he didn’t care.
Stiles smiles when he sees Derek smiling, and laughs when he sees Derek laughing.
He remembered the first time Derek climbed into his window, but he specifically thought about the last. It was before he left for South America to find his sister.
"I need your help, I gotta find Cora." Derek was frazzled and angry, but more interestingly he was there. "I need you, Stiles." Derek needed him.
"Derek, dude, I mean- I’ll do whatever I can, but I don't know how to help with this one." He was only human after all and had no clue that Cora was gone, much less knew where she could be or who would take her. He joked nervously, "Heh, this is one time I wish you guys were True Blood vampires so that way if she took your blood you'd always know where she was." Stiles wasn't sure what he was expecting from this outburst but what he got was a questioning expression and a furrowed brow of confusion.
"Stiles... this is my sister." And Stiles couldn't have felt like a bigger asshole. He nodded and got to work attempting to pull a plan out of thin air. Before Derek left, Stilespatted him twice on the shoulder and took Derek's grim and stoic smile as thanks.
"Good luck." He'd said, and it sounded so trite and cliché that he told himself at the time this is what Derek needed. Maybe later when they talked Stiles could really help him unpack all of this angst, but then Stiles didn't realize that later wouldn't come on his timeline, but on Derek's de-aged one.
He doesn't realize he's crying until a tear drops on the yearbook near where he's brushing Derek's hair out of his eyes. It was long in front, and sweaty after a track run. "P" was there in cheerleader garb about to pour a bottle of water over Derek's head. Stiles smiled and dabbed the tear away.
He checked the clock, put the yearbook away and got ready for his nightly intruder. After a short while he heard a scratch at his window. He didn't bother opening it, knowing Malia liked to practice her breaking and entering skills. Instead, while he waited for her to figure out the lock, he thought about how effortlessly Derek would come through and wait for him. It used to scare the shit out of him, but after a while he looked forward to the visits. Maybe that’s why he didn’t mind so much when Malia did it. It was a familiarity he never thought he’d be able to experience again. Like most things though, it wasn’t the same as the original.
“Stiles?” She made it in.
“Yeah, hey.” Malia shuffled slowly towards the bed, tired and unsure.
“I’m sorry, I know I should let you sleep tonight, but I can’t rest unless I do… the thing that I do and-” Stiles waved her cares away and pulled up his shirt, lying on his stomach on the bed.
“It’s okay Malia, come on.” That night with Malia firmly wrapped around his backside, he slept and dreamed of chocolate tinged with gold.
\\xxXxx//
School went by in a blur. He tried to use the secret they were holding from Malia as a distraction, but Scott was taking the lead on that so there was nothing for Stiles to worry about. Instead, he thought about Derek and what he was going to do when they got back to Deaton's after school.
As usual, Stiles’ best laid plans were put to test when his phone went off during history class.
"Mr. Stilinski! What did I say about phones in class?" Stiles nodded at Mr. Yukimura as he tried -in vain- to silence his phone. Mr. Yukimura already yelled at Scott about his phone going off before laying into Stiles. Then when Kira’s phone went off, and finally Mr. Yukimura’s, he heaved a heavy sigh and excused Scott from the class.
“Mr. McCall, please call Lydia.” Stiles’ heart tightened in his chest. He went with Scott naturally, understanding the pass extended to him. Kira perked up and Malia looked like she was about to follow, but Stiles put up conciliatory arms and gave them both a reassuring nod that they’ll be clued in once there was something to tell. Scott was already calling Lydia back before he made it to the hall.
“He did what?! Is Deaton okay? Are you okay, Lydia?” Stiles tries to decipher what happened, though Scott’s hunched resignation told him it was nothing good.
At Deaton’s, they discussed what happened while Stiles assessed the damage; overturned table, wrecked equipment, a scratch on Deaton’s arm. Lydia told him about Derek waking up and his eyes flashing blue with confusion and fear. She told them he lashed out and ran away. Stiles wanted to ask the Doc if there was anger in his eyes. He still didn’t know if this was younger Derek or older Derek trapped in younger Derek’s body, but he knew that Derek’s emotional journey was as good of a timeline as any.
Stiles got an alert on his phone, indicating a Sheriff’s update. It appeared that a young, unidentified male was brought into the station after being caught trespassing on the new Hale developments. Stiles grabbed Scott and left.
Scott and the Sheriff talked as Stiles added in the occasional pithy remark to keep up appearances, but all he could do was think about Derek. He looked so small on the bench, so unsure, so scared. Stiles wanted to hold him. Stroke his hair; let him know everything was going to be okay. All the things that were never done to him after the possession. All the things he needed. Even just to be hugged would have been nice and Derek looked like he could use one now.
Scott’s eyes flicked to Stiles briefly catching his attentions to Derek. Stiles sighed knowing that Scott noticed and tried to distract himself with something else. Looking through his dad’s mail, he saw a second notice from Eichen House and wondered when they’d gotten the first.
“Look, he’ll listen to you," Stiles said as the conversation began to reach a lull. "Scott, you can use your calming True Alpha voice and usher him into a false sense of security before dropping the bomb that his whole family is dead except his sadistic, freaky uncle.” Scott gave him a wry look.
“Thanks Stiles.” Stiles patted Scott on the back as Derek was sent into the office. The conversation went exactly as Stiles suspected; with Scott nearly telling Derek the truth and then lying to protect him at the end. Derek watched the alpha and chose to believe him even though Stiles could tell he knew something wasn’t right.
“Look kid, I’m going to take you to Scott’s while he tries to figure out what’s going on with the person that started all of this. I know you’re still confused, but this is the only way you’re not going to have to spend the night here, okay?” Derek nodded at Stiles before going with the Sheriff to fill out paperwork.
“I lied my ass off back there.” Scott said sadly. Stiles knew he hated lying and tried to reassure him.
“Dude, your ass is fine. You just saved him a lot of unnecessary pain. As soon as he’s regular Derek again we can all go back to being happy… except Derek, who’s never happy.” He meant it as a sly aside, but the truth rocked him more than he’d anticipated. Evidently Scott too.
“I just don’t like lying.” Scott said regretfully before turning a slightly more calloused look in Stiles’ direction. “And I hate being lied to.” Stiles ignored the pointed remark while motioning to Derek to meet out in the parking lot. He walked out of the door without looking back.