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After the case was closed and after Sahar was killed, Ziva could finally breath again. It’s been years. Trying to keep her family safe from the one woman who was trying to take her out. She was hurt; more emotionally than physically. Scars that would take a long time to fade and even if they did, she’d always know that they were there. One would think that her being a trained Mossad agent should prevent such a collateral damage, but everyone’s spirit can be broken. Sahar took everything from her, without coming even close to her family. She took her child; she took her Tony and her whole family. Not because they were hurt but because of the distance she had to keep between them.
“Ziva? Are you with me?” said a faint voice. Ziva was jolted out of her flashbacks, looking right at McGee sitting in front of her at the diner-table they had all been going to, when both she and Tony were still on the team years ago. She forced a smile, nodding her head. “Yes, Tim. I am just glad that it is over. I may not be fully healed but I will be.” McGee could see that she was struggling. He couldn’t imagine what it’s like losing all your hope but still getting through life. When they got the news that Ziva David was dead, they had each other. Tony had them. They were there for him during the worst time but somehow they still held on. They would talk, hold each other in their arms. But she was all alone.
“We really missed you, Ziva. I really missed you. When the news came on and they’d say that there was an attack- we thought you were dead.” Letting out a laugh, sounding more like a snort, she shook her head. “Tim, I have lost hope. I thought Gibbs would know, would see the clues I’ve left. I thought he would find me, tell me that everything’s going to be okay. But he didn’t. He didn’t look for me like family should.” With a shaking voice she continued. “I did. I was looking for you when I heard the news about Paraguay. I never gave up. I needed to know that you and Gibbs were alive.” McGee lowered his head, pressing his lips together to a fine line. He knew something like this would be asked. It was just a matter of time. And he couldn’t blame her. She felt betrayed. She had already lost one family and feeling like she’s lost her other too broke her. “I know, Ziva. You two were talking about it at the house, weren’t you? When Gibbs sent me in to check it. Gibbs wouldn’t tell me but I knew. I heard you mentioning Paraguay and- I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, McGee. It hurt me, yes, but I will get over it. All of you still mean the world to me and now that everyone is safe again, there may be a new start. A new life, even.” Ziva still smiled. Not as much and as bright as earlier but it was there. McGee thought it was an honest smile; not like the one before. After not seeing her for over 3 years, he noticed a change. Ziva wasn’t the woman she used to be. She wasn’t a totally different person either, but she wasn’t the same. Gibbs wouldn’t tell him, wouldn’t admit it but he swore he saw her taking pills, packaged in a yellow fabric tissue which she’d put back in her pocket after she took one.
“Have you been talking to Tony yet? He will be happy to hear that you’re alive.” But she only shook her head, poking with the fork in her salad she had ordered earlier. “No, not yet. He called Gibbs a few hours back but he wanted me to tell him. I did not have the time yet. And I do not know what to say.” “Tell him the truth, Ziva. He will understand.” “I’m sure he will, McGee.”
Both sat in silence, eating their food, but McGee couldn’t help but look at her from time to time when she was concentrating on eating. He was worried. He could see that she was far from okay; could see the scars on her wrist she tried to hide with her long sleeves. He had talked to Ducky about it, when Palmer left the autopsy for a short moment. Both men shared their concern, but the ME said to not ask her about it, to not force her into talking about something she’s not yet able to talk about. And he understood.
“Whatever happens, Ziva, I want you to know that no matter what, you are our family. And you’re always welcome at NCIS. And we’re not going to give you up; not again. You mean so much to all of us.” And for the first time, Tim smiled. It was a promise he was going to keep. “We wish you would be coming back to us again, Ziva. To have you on our team again.” But Ziva laughed. It was a laugh coming directly from her heart, with no negative meaning. “Not yet, Tim. I need to get a grip on life again. And I think your team is already full. Eleanor and Nicholas are great colleagues and I think they’re a great part of the team too. Don’t lose them.” “We won’t, don’t worry.” After a short break McGee continued, “Although you have to see Torres from time to time. I think your positive view of him was because of him being nice for once and he probably had a good day too with you choking him.” Ziva couldn’t help but laugh, nodding her head. “Yes, he seemed quite ‘flirty’ to me.”
It was in this exact moment that McGee realized what he had missed so much about Ziva. The way she would always mess up English phrases or words; how she would always look so insecure about it. “You mean ‘flirtatious’?” “Isn’t that what I said?” she teased him, already seeing his smile widening. That was one thing she thought she would’ve never seen: his innocent smile spreading from ear to ear and after 13 years they still got the slightest shade of red. But he changed, she noticed. When she first met the former MIT student, he was shy, trying to not get in trouble but Tony always dragged him along. Now that she saw him again, she noticed that he was tougher than before, he wasn’t the probie she knew anymore; and he’d finally gained a little weight too after being skinny for the past years she’d seen him. The beard is new too, she thought but didn’t spend much time thinking about it.
After every plate was empty and every glass drunk up, they paid and left, standing in front of the diner and watching the sunset. “I’m really going to miss you, Ziva. I wish you’d stay here.” “Every journey has an end, Tim. The answer to the question if I’ll ever returning to NCIS cannot be given yet. First, I’m going to spend some time with my daughter and Tony. I miss them both so much. I want to hold them close and finally become a family, like I’ve always wanted. But you, Timothy McGee, will always hold a special place in my heart. You, Gibbs, Ducky and Abby.” He lowered his head one last time before feeling small arms around him, hugging him tightly. He hugged the figure in front of him too; his arms laying over her shoulders. “Tell Tony that I have seen the movie he wanted me to watch. It was terrible.” They broke apart. “Why aren’t you going to tell him? Aren’t you two in contact anymore?” Ziva asked with a furrowed brow. “Oh no, Ziva. We’re still in contact, it’s just one of his favourite movies and I don’t really want to tell him that the movie was a total disaster.”
They said each other’s goodbye and went off in different directions. When they would meet again? No one can be sure but Tim knew that finally, after all these years, Ziva and Tony can be happy again; be happy together.