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Brienne stood in front of the counsel after Bran was crowned King, wearing her new Lord Commander armor.
"Welcome, Brienne. Please take a seat," Bran stated.
Brienne took her seat and listened in at the meeting, yet her mind kept wandering to Jaime. She missed him, especially after she had just finished filling in his pages in the White Book. She wished that she could see him again, to hold him in her arms, to feel his touch on her skin, to feel his mouth on her own, to--
Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard her name. "Brienne?" Bronn asked, bringing her out of her daze. "You alright over there?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," she replied.
Of course, Brienne wasn't fine. She stayed focused, but still thought of Jaime, the one that made her feel like a woman for the very first time. She was no longer a maid because of him, she fulfilled her oath to Catelyn Stark because of him, and as those ideas flooded her mind, she was suddenly aware of the tears in her eyes.
She let one slip, felt it flow down her cheek. This was the first and only time she would ever show any feelings and grief over Jaime's passing to anyone else around her. She felt just like she did that night when he left her in the cold winter, crying just like she was right now, but instead of sadness, she was crying tears of guilt.
Brienne could only think that it was her fault that Jaime died with Cersei. It's the reason why she wrote "died protecting his queen" in his pages of the White Book. She loved him, and he loved her, she was sure of it, but he couldn't let go of the one he through he loved.
Everyone seated at the table stared at Brienne, shocked at how much vulnerability she was expressing. Brienne looked around the room and demanded coldly, "Stop staring."
"You loved him."
Brienne turned her head to let her eyes fall on Tyrion. "I--" she began to speak, but was cut off.
"Don't try to deny it, Brienne. You loved him. And knowing my brother, I know that he loved you too. I wish I could understand why he did what he did, and I'm truly sorry that you can't be with him for the rest of your life. I really thought that he wanted to marry you, to be honest with you."
Brienne takes in a sharp breath as more tears threaten to spill from her eyes. Does she dare speak what is running through her mind this very moment? She hesitates for a second before responding.
"I wish I was dead. I wish I was crushed under those bricks so that he would be alive."
The room goes silent, Brienne's words sinking in. She meant what she said. She didn't want to live without Jaime, the one she loved and cared for the most in the world.
"You would......take his place?" Tyrion questioned.
Brienne blinked the tears away from her eyes, and like the strong and brave woman she was, with no hesitation, answered, "I would."