Work Text:
Watching Jeno cry is supposed to make him sad, but instead he just feels relief. It’s been months since Jeno has showed any other emotion than anger and disappointment.
Another tear runs down his cheek as he looks up at Jaemin. He’s sitting on Jaemin’s ugly red couch wearing Jaemin’s sweatshirt and holding his phone with Jaemin as the lockscreen.
Nothing has ever felt more right than this moment. That’s a lie. Kissing Jeno for the first time felt right, holding his hand as they went on multiple ice cream dates. All those felt right, but this is the first thing that’s felt right in a while.
“What did you say?” Jeno’s voice breaks and another flow of tears roll down his cheeks.
Jaemin heaves a breath, “I want something better Jeno.”
The damage is immediate. Jeno’s posture changes as he rolls in on himself, a choked sob leaving his mouth. Even though they were Jaemin’s words his heart gives a squeeze. It’s so tight it physically hurts. The pain makes him want to cry too, but he promised himself he wouldn’t cry.
“But…” Jeno has to stop to take a breath, “you said you loved me.”
Swallowing down the lump forming in his throat Jaemin nods, “I loved you. I really did, but times change Jeno.” He wants to say people change, but he knows that sounds fake. Like he pulled his breakup speech out of a romance novel.
“Did you…” his voice chokes up, “did you find somebody new? Somebody better?”
He shakes his head immediately, “I don’t cheat even if I’m unhappy. That’s why I’m breaking up with you,” he says firmly.
Jeno hasn’t stopped crying but he sounds calmer. Like his mind is accepting it. Jaemin’s about to give him a small smile when another sob rips through Jeno. It’s so loud it almost shatters his heart.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t be right for you,” Jeno sighs.
It’s always like this. Jeno apologising and Jaemin being too much of a pussy to finish what he started, but not this time. He’s done. He wants something better. He wants love, not comfort.
“I think you should leave Jeno,” Jaemin says softly. Jeno nods and stands up. Muttering something about changing and disappearing into Jaemin’s room. The same room Jeno had helped him decorate.
Another squeeze almost tips Jaemin over the edge but he takes another deep breath and pulls himself together. He can let himself go when Jeno has left. Only a couple minutes left.
Once Jeno walks back out of his room it clicks in Jaemin’s mind. He’s never going to see him again. Unless their friends decide to have a full group night out, but that hasn’t happened in over a year.
The thought of not seeing Jeno again hurts more than Jaemin thought it would. He’d gotten used to having Jaemin with him everywhere. They’d been friends for years before they decided to try out this dating thing, and now they’re breaking up.
Maybe trying out the dating thing wasn’t a good idea. There was no way it would ever end well. Either they didn’t work immediately or they’d end up not working later on. No way they’d spend the rest of their lives together.
But Jaemin had thought they would. For a couple of years he really did. He saw himself with Jeno when they’re fifty and when they’re seventy. Just holding hands and telling each other about their day. That will never happen now.
Jaemin gives Jeno a weak smile once they’re at the door, “if you have anything here you can come pick it up some other day. Just text me first.”
Jeno nods and opens the door. The hallway is behind him when he turns back around to hand Jaemin his key. The key Jaemin had given him so he could walk into the apartment at any time. A single tear rolls down Jaemin’s cheek.
“Goodbye Jeno.” The door closes behind him and Jaemin lets himself go.