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"Hey... Agni?"
The long, white haired man sitting across the table looked up from his plate. He chewed and swallowed the piece of chicken he had in his mouth, before responding, "Yes, mera pyar?"
Soma fidgeted in his seat, pushing around the chicken casserole on his own plate. "Well, uh... do you... do you, um..." He trailed off, biting his lip and continuing to stare down at his plate, refusing to meet Agni's eyes.
Agni frowned, concern beginning to blossom in his chest. The older man had never seen Soma this nervous or timid about anything before, he wasn't even like this when he first asked Agni out. Whatever it was, it must be something really serious for Soma to be acting like this. Hopefully not a bad kind of serious.
"It's alright, mera pyar. Whatever it is, you can be honest and tell me," Agni said reassuringly with a warm, gentle smile.
"Right, well, um–" The younger man pulled at the collar of his shirt, clearing his throat and finally looking up at Agni–"Do you think that... that you'll ever want to have, um... have kids... one day?"
Agni blinked in surprise at the question, but felt relieved knowing that it wasn't about something much more serious. He gave his boyfriend a comforting smile to reassure him that his question didn't upset him. "I've never actually given it much thought, in all honesty."
"But if we... um, if we ever got married... would you consider it? N-not that I'm saying you need to want kids for me to marry you! I would be just fine with being married to you without kids, it's not something I'd need in order to marry y–Ah! I-I mean, not that I want to marry you–No, what I mean is–Augh! I don't mean that I want to marry you now, but would be happy to in a couple more years. As long as you wanted to marry me too, of course! I don't–"
"Soma, Soma, darling!" Agni grabbed the younger man's hands, gripping them firmly between his own. "Calm down, mera pyar, it's okay. I understand what you're trying to say, it's okay."
The younger man let out a shaky breathe, the tension in his shoulders visibly dissipating. "I just... want to know if it's something you would ever want one day in the future."
Agni pondered his boyfriend's question, for a moment. Did he want kids one day? The thought had really never crossed his mind all that much before, but as he thought about it now, it didn't sound all that bad. He could imagine himself and Soma raising a child together. Maybe not anytime soon, but maybe one day in a few years time.
He couldn't help but have a question of his own for himself, though. Would he really be a good father, or would he somehow turn out to be exactly like his parents? He would never wish what he went through in his childhood upon anyone, especially his own child. Besides, how did he expect to raise a child of his own when his own parents were an understated show of terrible parenting.
He felt conflicted. One part of him was saying he would be a terrible father because of his upbringing, while the other part was saying not to pay any mind to the negative former; that he would do his absolute best to be a great father to his and Soma's children.
The older man didn't realize just how long he'd gotten lost in his thoughts, until his boyfriend pulled his hands away from his own.
"It's alright. Let's just pretend this conversation didn't happen and get back to dinner," Soma said in a dejected tone of voice, eyes lowering back down to his plate as he picked up his fork.
"Darling, wait." Agni paused, waiting until the other man looked back up. "I only got lost in my thoughts, for a moment there. I'm sorry that I made you think I didn't want to answer or that I wasn't interested in the conversation anymore."
"Then... what is your answer?" Soma asked timidly.
"Well, I would like to say yes, but... I'm honestly not sure, mera pyar. I know I haven't told you much about my childhood, but from what I have said, you know my parents weren't exactly the kindest or most understanding people when it came to raising me and my brothers, and I can't help but fear I'll end up being like them in the long run when it comes to raising children." Agni gave a heavy sigh. "I know it's a silly thing for me to fear, given how much I've already shown that I'm nothing like them, but still... I can't help but feel absolutely petrified at the thought of screwing up a child's life."
Soma's face softened, eyes lighting up in understanding. "It's not silly at all whatsoever. Anyone who had a childhood like yours would be terrified about having kids, it's all perfectly normal. But, Agni, really listen and take in what I'm about to say to you. You would be an amazing and absolutely adoring father. You understand that everything your parents did and said to you growing up was not the way any child should be treated and raised, so I know you would never in a million years do the same thing to other children, especially ours."
Agni smiled, picking up one of the other man's hands and planting a kiss to it. "You're absolutely right, mera pyar. I can't say I'm a hundred percent certain that I want kids, but maybe give me a few more years to really contemplate the idea and I should have a decision made by then. Is that alright?"
"That's more than alright, love. Whatever your decision is in the next few years, I'll support it and you, no matter what."
"And you're sure you wouldn't be disappointed if my decision turns out to be not wanting to have kids?"
"Of course not, love, I'll always choose you; you're my loving, charming, handsome and brilliant Agni who I love with all my heart and soul. Kids or no kids, I really do want to spend the rest of my life with you."
Tears sprang to the older man's eyes. Soma really was the best thing to happen to him. Without him in his life, Agni didn't know where he would be right now.
"Oh, you're going to make me cry. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, as well, my dear Soma."
"Awww, Agni. Now you're going to make me cry." The auburn haired man wiped his eyes, sniffling slightly. "Okay, okay, before we send each other into an emotional tornado–let's finish our dinner so we can talk more about how the both of us have sorta, you know, agreed we want to marry each other."
The older man chuckled fondly. "Yes, Lets." He picked up his fork, taking a bite of casserole and swallowing it before saying, " And hey, who knows, maybe one of us will end up proposing tonight."
Soma hummed, the side of his mouth turning up in a soft smile. "Well, just so you know, I wouldn't say 'no' if something like that were to happen." He chuckled slightly, cheeks turning a light shade of pink.
Agni's smile widened in return, his mind (and heart) racing at the scenarios beginning to run rampant on how the rest of the night could possibly go and end.
"I guess we'll see what happens then, mera pyar. You never know what the near or far future has in store."