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“I could always force it out of you,” Natasha said, trying to sound menacing, though the slurring of her words made the tone a little lacklustre.You chuckled and shook your head, even though you knew Natasha was a dangerous spy, she never once came across as intimidating to you. Then again, she never had a reason to do so.
“Come on, why keep it a secret?” She pressed with a smirk on her face as she tried to climb over the back of the couch in a graceful matter, while still keeping her drink steady. She managed rather well, only spilling a drop or two. She then sat down next to you, with no regard for personal space.
“Secrets? I love secrets,” Wanda exclaimed far too loud as she skipped around the couch and dropped down on your other side. She was smiling brightly as she looked at you to tell her. Her accent was a little thicker tonight than it had been earlier today and for a moment you wondered how long it would take for her to simply start speaking in her native tongue.
“I could just read your mind,” Wanda joked as she moved closer, frantically waving her hands, as she prodded you yo bare your secrets. You barked out a laugh, knowing she would never do such a thing. When you calmed down enough, you simply shook your head, still denying her and Natasha an answer.
“Tell me,” Natasha whispered, her mouth so close to your ear that you could feel her warm breath in your neck. You could also almost hear the smile break through her voice. She really did love secrets and mischief. You smiled, but shook your head again. Between these two it was nearly impossible to keep a single thought to yourself, but you were determined to keep this one.
“What is she telling exactly?” Wanda then asked, suddenly realising she didn’t even know what information she was after.
“Well, Y/N was just about to tell me who her crush is,” Natasha informed their auburn haired friend and they both giggled, before glancing around to assure themselves of the fact that there was nobody close enough to overhear them.
“And please do share,” Natasha added to you, her voice a little too loud and you cringed at the volume.
“I’m not telling either of you,” you stated simply. It was hard enough to keep yourself from behaving differently around him. That would only get harder when these two knew. They were never quite as secretive as they thought once alcohol was involved. Not to mention the pointed looked they would offer once his back would be turned. And those looks would last for weeks, perhaps even months. You would not live that down.
Standing up from the couch, you petted their heads lovingly and moved towards the bar on wobbly feet. Ordering s glass of water, you allowed yourself to realise just how close you had come to confess your crush to Natasha. Luckily you caught yourself before you spoke.
Nobody could know. Definitely not him. You were certain he didn’t feel the same way and things would only get uncomfortable around here.
Glancing around the room, you smiled as you watched all your friends enjoying themselves. It was good to see them let loose, relieved of their responsibilities for a night. They didn’t get nights like this too often. There were so many things that the avengers were held accountable for. Too many things, if they asked you. Not that anyone ever would ask you of course. Still, they carried the burden with a smile, no complaints.
Especially him, he carried the weight of everyone’s expectations. Everyone always wanted so much from him. And he never wanted to fail anyone. In your eyes he never did, though his own perception of that was very different. Sometimes you wished you could just ease his pain, to hug him close and kiss those fears away. Of course that would never happen, so instead you hoped he would eventually find someone that could do those things for him.
You sighed again, finishing the water in your glass and moving away from the bar. You needed to get out of your head for a little bit. To enjoy yourself and forget about the unrequited love in your life. There really was no use in pining, when it was not going to get you anywhere.
Taking a deep breath, you tried to shake it off and walked over to the dance floor where Wanda and Natasha were dancing wildly and having a blast. They happily greeted you and Natasha took your hand in hers, twirling you around. It made you laugh loudly and you decided that they were all you needed to lighten your mood.
Two hours later, the effects of the single glass of water were long gone and you were slurring your speech like the best of them. Which wouldn’t be such a bad thing, if only getting drunk wouldn’t mean that it lowered your inhibitions. And before the night was offer, they had been lowered enough to make you spill your secret to the two avengers. Their shrill squeals were enough to damage your hearing and as soon as the sound died down, you were horrorstruck. Why had you done that? That was a big, big mistake.
Your face flushed a deep red and you quickly glanced around the room. Nobody seemed to have paid any attention to their outburst and it was almost enough to help you relax again. Almost, because even inebriated you knew that there were two more people to let your secret slip now and there was nobody to blame for that but you.
Sure, Natasha was a spy. The best you knew off, but she also had a habit of dropping information bombs when she thought it would help a situation. As for Wanda, well, she would spill intentionally. Though she would eventually slip up. You were fairly certain of that. She was too sensitive to tell people a lie the asked point blank.
The sense of doom overwhelmed you and was impossible to shake off. Your mood had changed drastically, though your friends barely noticed as they kept prodding you with questions. Questions of why him, why stay silent and how long had it been. You didn’t answer a single one of them and instead excused yourself with the feigned need for a toilet.
They laughed loudly, alert enough to know you were avoiding their questions, though not fully grasping why.
Bolting from the large room, you made your way to the nearest toilets and barricaded yourself in there as you contemplated your life and the mess you were making of it. Perhaps you were exaggerating, possibly true, but it was hard to push down the dread that was barreling through your mind and weighing heavily on your stomach.
You were just splashing some cold water in your face, when there was a knock on the door. At first you tried to ignore it, but whoever it was insisted. With the knocking being persistent, you finally ripped the door open. You just wanted a minute to yourself, why was that so difficult?
And you were ready to ask this question to the intruder, when seeing who it was silenced you.
On the other side of the door stood Steve Rogers, concern clear on his face.
Confused you just stared at him, not speaking. His appearance itself wasn’t all that confusion, but his look of concern certainly was.
“Are you okay?” He asked and you just nodded, unsure what to say.
“Do you want to talk about it?” He then asked and it felt as if a cold hand clamped around your heart. Had they already let your secret slip? Embarrassment took hold of your features and coloured your cheeks a dark red. You really had hoped it would be a matter of weeks, before one of them slipped. Apparently no even that was in the cards for you.
“Nope, I really don’t,” you said quietly and pushed past him, stepping into the otherwise empty hallway.
“Are you sure?” He pressed, the look of concern still present. It was like a stab to the heart, that look. As if he was aware of the pain his rejection would cause. It really would’ve been better to never know for sure.
“Now, honestly, why would I want to talk to you about this?” You finally countered, “To hear how it’s wrong, could never happen. That you could never see me that way?” You exclaimed, a little angry about the turn of events.
What was he thinking? Of course you didn’t want to talk to him. He didn’t like you back, though he would one too kind to say it so blunt. Instead he would probably say something along the lines of ‘it’s not a good idea’ or ‘it’s not you, it’s me’. And you really weren’t ready to hear that nonsense. No, you just wanted to forget about this night and the fact that you were stupid enough to let your secret slip. And you definitely wanted to forget that it had reached your actual crush so rapidly.
Why had you been so stupid to develop a crush on Steve Rogers? The one and only captain America.
“Wait,” he said, his voice an octave lower and a confused look on his face as he walked after you, “What are you talking about?”
“Who was it? Who told you? Wanda or Nat?” You asked, not looking in his direction and missing his confusion all together. You were too wrapped up in your own mind.
“I could never see you that way?” He asked softly, mulling over your words and at this you turned, finally letting it sink in that there might have been a horrible case of miscommunication. Shocked you slapped your hand over your mouth, staring at his face as a myriad of emotions crossed his features.
“I..”Steve start to say, he swallowed visibly before continuing, “I just saw you run off and thought that something had happened to make you upset.”
You grimaced at his words, uncertain of how to respond. Steve fell silent, pacing the floor in front of you as he mumbled under his breath. Every now and again he would stop his pacing to look at you, though he quickly returned to it. You wondered what was going though his mind and wanted to ask him, but you were too apprehensive to do so. What if his answer was worse than you had imagined? What if he refused to work with you any longer? If he didn’t want to see you again? There were plenty of other jobs for a doctor like yourself, but you really liked your job with the avengers. The people were great and so were the benefits.
“You like me,” Steve finally mumbled, though it didn’t appear that he was really talking to you. Still, you confirmed it. There was no point in denying it now. You pretty much had spilled the beans already.
“I’m sorry Steve. I hadn’t planned on filling you in,” you confessed, “Didn’t want to put that on you.”
When Steve didn’t respond after that for several long moments, you figured that it was time to make yourself scarce. You offered him a small smile, one that didn’t reach your eyes, and turned around. Tears prickled your eyes as you walked down the quiet hall and towards the staircase. It took some restrained not to start running, but you managed to reach the stairs at a normal pace. When you did, you rushed down, taking the steps two at a time.
You reached the garage in record time and quickly moved towards your car. Goosebumps covered your arms and you realised that you had left your coat upstairs. It didn’t really matter, you’d be home soon, the coat would have to wait until Monday.
Of course that wasn’t the end to your terrible evening. The rain began pelting down just as you reached your street, and thanks to the limited parking in this area you had to run several minuted before you reached the building.
By then you were completely soaked, the thin evening dress clinging to your skin and your teeth chattering. Stepping inside the building, you began rummaging through your bag to find your key. You were so wrapped up in the search that you stopped looking where you were going. You moved on automatic pilot, as you stepped out the elevator and into your hallway. Which was why you didn’t see that it wasn’t empty. There was already someone waiting in front of your door.
It was the sudden shadow that fell over you, that made you realise that you weren’t alone in the dim hallway. You glanced up, having finally grasped your elusive key. And you nearly dropped it upon seeing your visitor.
“Steve” you gasped, halting your steps, surprised by his appearance at your home. How had he gotten here so fast? His hair was dripping from the rain and his dress shirt stuck to his impressive chest.
“Why did you leave so suddenly?” He asked, standing far too close to you.
Your breath hitched and you took half a step back to offer yourself some space. He had quite the powerful presence and it was effecting your common sense. This close it was very tempting to reach out and touch his now visible abs, which would only make your predicament worse.
“I…” words failed you, what could you possibly say to make him understand? There were now words beyond those you had already spoken. Besides, you really wanted to move on, forget tonight. Forget about him and your stupid crush.
The tears that had been threatening to fall earlier now finally forced themselves to the surface, streaming down your face with a fast pace. You didn’t know what to do, you couldn’t just ignore him. No matter how tempting that would be. You worked in the same building as him and had to patch up his teammates regularly. You once even attempted to stitch him up but the wound had close before you got very far.
Steve reached up with his hand to wipe away the tears, making you look up at him with confusion written all over your face. He smiled, his hand lingering on your cheek. He stared into your eyes and you were certain he saw right into your soul. The intensity of it left you breathless. Then he stepped a little closer and your heart skipped a beat as you wondered what he was up to.
He didn’t give you long to ponder it as he bent his head down and gently placed his lips on yours.
The kiss was soft, careful and short. As if he wasn’t entirely sure that this was the right move to make. You’d be lying if you said this didn’t feel absolutely perfect to you.
“The conversation wasn’t over,” he whispered, his breath warm against your lips and you smiled, puckering your lips lightly to peck his lips again.
“I didn’t think I would like the ending very much,” you confessed and his arms wrapped around you, pulling you into him.
“Well, what did you think?” He joked and you chuckled, before placing your hand on the back of his head and pulling his face down to meet yours.
His lips moved against yours, slowly at first, though it soon turned more urgent. The gentleness of the first kiss long gone as it got more heated and you pushed him back against your front door. Time to get out of the hallway.