Work Text:
Ever since Peter can remember, when it comes to needles, he faints.
He doesn’t know why. Blood doesn’t bother him, and the prick of the needle doesn’t even hurt all that much. But no matter the occasion, whether it was the Pediatrician’s office for a booster shot or May having to break out her nursing degree to give him an IV during a bad bout of the flu, he always, always faints.
But then he got bit by a spider.
After that, a lot of things changed: he didn’t have asthma, he didn’t have a peanut allergy, he hardly ever got sick at all. He’s gotten more bloody noses than he his fingers to count on, and the number of minor concussions he’s had is probably right up there with them. He bruises, he aches, he kicks ass if he’s lucky.
But he doesn’t faint. Not anymore.
Well. At least he hopes.
Every October, Midtown Tech hosts Queens Medical Center’s annual Vein Drain: a Halloween themed blood drive. It’s a weekend community event that’s co-hosted by Midtown’s own student body. People come and donate blood for the center, and then they buy Halloween themed baked goods from the students, maybe, play a few carnival games if they want, all to raise money. Hocus Pocus plays on repeat on a giant screen projected on one of the walls in the gym. It’s a pretty decent time. Conveniently, Peter, Ned, and Michelle are all sixteen years old - so it’s the first time they’re old enough to donate at the event. Their folks all signed the form and they’re gonna do it. Donate blood to save a life. Spider-Man does it on the regular, so it’s nice that Peter Parker gets the chance as well.
If only his friends were on board.
“I don’t think this is a good idea,” Ned says, wringing his hands nervously beside him.
Peter, on the other hand, couldn’t be less worried. “I’ll be fine.”
“Can you even give blood? I mean since you got, uh." He drops his volume. "You know.”
“It’s not radioactive, if that’s what you’re getting at.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I checked with Dr. Banner. He says I’m clear.”
“Oh, good. So you’ve gotten a needle and you didn’t faint.”
“Well, he pricked my finger, there wasn’t exactly a needle-”
“I don’t think this is a good idea.”
From Peter’s other side, Michelle sighs. “Just let him be,” she says, flipping idly through her latest read: Stoker’s Dracula. Extremely appropriate, considering today’s events. “If he faints, he faints.” He looks up at him for a brief moment before she licks her finger and turns the page with dramatic flair. “My twig arms aren’t catching you, by the way.”
Peter grins, all dopey and sappy like he always does when it’s her. “Aw. Best girlfriend ever.”
Ned looks at them, eyes darting back and forth like he’s trying to understand a plaque in front of a weird museum piece. “This is date night, isn’t it.”
Peter tosses a thumb in Michelle’s direction just as she casually lifts her own. “It was her turn to pick.”
“Typical. You guys are so weird.”
“Thank you.”
This time, Ned sighs. “I’ll try to catch you, but no promises. Your muscles are probably so condensed that you weigh more than a black hole.”
“...Thank you?”
The three of them pass the mini health check with flying colors, Peter in particular. His blood pressure? Stellar. His red blood count? Even better. He’s the perfect picture of health despite the radioactive DNA that courses through his veins. Superhero powers are awesome like that.
“This is kind of backwards, don’t you think?” Peter asks as he hops up on his chair. Michelle is in the one next to him, and Ned’s somewhere else across the gymnasium, but they all have been given their own pair of Dracula fangs for the festivities. “I mean…” He sticks the fangs in his mouth anyway.“You’re Edward and I’m Bella, right?”
The nurse, Alice, is one of May’s old co-workers. Peter’s known her for years, and he’s lucky that she’s the one taking his blood. Just another sign that this is going well and he’s definitely not going to faint. She smiles fondly, shaking her head in feigned exasperation. “I prefer Dracula and Mina.”
Peter looks over to see Michelle still with her nose in her book as her nurse is prepping her for donation. “Hey. Does Dracula turn Mina into his vampire wife and they live happily ever after with their creepy half vampy loch ness monster baby?”
“No.”
“Does he kill her.”
“No.”
“...Does she kill him?”
“Something like that.”
Peter takes the teeth out of his mouth just as Alice falls into a fit of laughter. “I don't care which of us is the vampire. Please don’t take all my blood and kill me, Miss Alice."
She continues to laugh before she gently pushes Peter back so he’s laying on the gurney. “We’re only takin’ a little, honey. You’ll be fine.” She starts cleaning Peter’s arm with an antiseptic wipe. “Now, I remember what it was like when Ben had to take you to the doctor. You’re not gonna faint on me, right?”
“Nope!” Peter promises. He can stop a bus with his bare hands. He can definitely stop his head from hitting the floor. “I’ve got it under control.”
Famous last words.
He remembers the needle going on, and taking deep breaths under Alice’s instruction. He had his head turned away the whole time so the needle didn’t make him antsy. He constantly tapped his fingers and shook his foot that he thought Michelle was going to reach over and rip his fingers off one by one to get him to just stop fidgeting. He remembers all of the donation perfectly even though his vision was slightly spotty and his ears rang with loud static.
It’s after he stands up when he can’t remember anything.
On account of him, uh.
Fainting.
He imagines he just fucking drops. Like a puppet with no strings. The next thing Peter registers is being on the ground. He can hear Michelle swearing but it sounds muffled. There’s a firm jostle to his shoulder before her cold hand is cupping his cheek. “Pete, wake up.”
“Peter, honey?” That’s Alice’s voice. “You with us?”
He blinks a few times and comes to in time to notice Alice putting a pillow underneath his head. Michelle is hovering over him, slight worry pinching her features except for her mouth, which is stuffed with those fake vampire fangs.
“I think you took too much blood, Miss Dracula,” Peter sighs, covering his arm over his eyes in shame. It still sorta feels like he’s underwater. His ears ring. Alice immediately grabs said arm and pricks his finger to double check on blood sugar.
“And I think you,” she pulls the fake teeth out. “Underestimated your delicate little senses.”
Peter whines. “I thought I’d be okay this time! Honest!” He tilts his head, looking for Alice. “I’m sorry.”
She pats his arm with sympathy. “I know you are, baby.”
“I’m okay, really,” he stresses because he has a feeling he knows what Alice is going to suggest and he’s really not up for the embarrassment.
“I know, but, we still gotta call her.” She nods behind her shoulder and Peter has to fully sit up to spot Mr. Harrington freaking out on the phone, leaving a message to his aunt about how his nephew absolutely tanked it on the gym floor.
Peter whines again.
When Ned’s all done he ends up going to the bake sale and buying a baggy of assorted sugar cookies in various Halloween shapes. Michelle takes the bat, Ned takes the pumpkin, and of course, because his friends are so funny, Peter gets the spider. They still have him sit on the floor on the other side of the gym for a few more minutes, at least until May can get here. But May isn’t coming to get him. She’s at work, so she didn’t pick up the phone. So, Mr. Harrington informs him that his secondary emergency contact is coming to get him.
Which is so much worse.
“Hiya, Pete.”
Peter, who has been lying on the floor beside Ned with his head in his girlfriend’s lap for the last twenty minutes, turns his head into Michelle’s stomach with what is the third whine of the evening. “Hi,” he greets back pathetically.
There’s an incessant poking to his right shoulder. “Pete. Peter. Pedrus. Petter. Peteroony. Pe-”
Peter reaches behind and grabs Tony’s wrist. “Please. This is embarrassing enough.”
“I’ll bet,” he snickers. “You okay, kiddo?”
There’s an underlying worry in his tone that forces Peter to turn his head back and quit hiding. “Yeah,” he sighs, lips quirking in a smile. “I’m just fine. I have a needle and fainting...problem. It happens.”
“And you decided to give blood?”
Peter shrugs as best he can in his position. Michelle’s still scratching at his scalp with her nails and when he cranes his neck he notices her nose is still in her book - she doesn’t even pay Tony any mind. She’s cool like that. “I wanted to help,” he says. “A little Spidey-powered help on the down low, you know?”
A funny look crosses Tony’s face. “I thought Bruce said your blood wasn’t radioactive?” he whispers. Ned chokes on his own tongue muttering something about oh my god was I right?
"Oh, it’s not. I just meant. I can’t be there for all the catastrophes. But maybe my blood can be of service when I can’t.”
Tony hums, his calloused fingers coming to push the button of Peter’s nose. “Well. You definitely can’t be any service if you’re passed out on the floor.”
Peter shrugs. “Dunno about that. Did Thor ever tell you about Get Help?”
Michelle’s fingers twitch in his hair at the mention of Thor and he internally grins. Tony Stark may not be star-studded enough to get her attention, but that doesn’t mean the same is for all the Avengers.
Tony sighs. “Unfortunately, he has. And I gotta tell you, Pete, I’m not using your body as a baseball bat to incapacitate an alien guard or whatever.”
Michelle mumbles a Jesus Christ under her breath, but otherwise goes back to her reading and scratching.
“Hmph,” Peter pulls a face. “Debbie Downer.”
“I am not. You’re the one who ruined the blood drive with your loss of consciousness.”
Peter whines again. “Okay, okay, I get it. Experiment: Will Spidey Powers Fix Fainting Problem is a failure. Myth Busted.”
“What myth?” Michelle snorts, poking at one of Peter’s cheeks.
“Me. Spider-Man. The Man. The Myth. The Legend.”
Tony rolls his eyes. “Clearly, fainting caused you to go too long without proper blood flow to the brain. Up, up, you go. We’ll fill you up with cheeseburgers on the way home.”
“McDonalds?”
“Burger King.”
“Aww, but I want McDonalds.” Peter finally sits up, looking around the gym. A few people seem to have taken notice of the Tony Stark at a community blood drive, but they keep their distance, only a few classmates and parents pointing and staring. Alice meets his eye from her station and mouths Is That Him? and it gives him an idea. “Okay,” he starts, “I’ll accept the Burger King if-”
“Oh, how kind -”
“- if! You donate blood in my stead.”
“Uh,” Michelle snorts. “Didn’t you faint after you already donated -blomph.”
Peter slaps a hand over Michelle’s mouth. She licks his palm. He wills himself to keep it there anyway. “Think of it as a donation for all the other donations I’ll have to miss out on.” Peter pouts. “Please? For me?”
Tony puts up a poorly constructed annoyed front, but he’s already shrugging off his jacket and rolling up his sleeves. “Yeah, kid. I’ll donate blood. Show you how a real superhero stays conscious.”
“Just out of curiosity,” Ned says, wringing his hands together. “What’s your blood type?”
“B Negative,” Tony rolls his eyes. “Extremely punny, I know.”
“Oh my god,” Ned whispers. “I have the same blood type as Iron Man.”
Tony ignores him. “It’s helpful though. Petey here is B Positive -”
“Also hilarious,” Michelle chimes in.
“-so when you’ve needed blood in a pinch, I’ve been able to save the day.”
Peter wrinkles his nose in distaste. “I’ve never needed blood from you.”
“Ohoho, you have. You just don’t remember.”
Peter blinks, trying to think of the last time he ended up in the infirmary. Only one instance really comes to mind, and now he's trying to wrap his head around the idea of Tony Stark's actual blood coursing through his veins. “Just how bad was that mission in Montana?”
“Oh, it was very, very bad.” Tony snorts. “May and I decided to sugar-coat it for your squeamish little self.” Peter is suddenly very skeptical of the report he was given saying he was asleep for only 10 hours. He'll have to ask FRIDAY later.
“What evil is so bad it looms in Montana?” Michelle asks. If only she knew. Hyrda has the strangest labs in the most random places.
But that’s for Avengers ears only. So, again, Tony deflects. “Anyway. One pint of Stark blood coming right up.” He nods over to the bake sale. “I better get one of those spider sugar cookies when I’m done.”
Peter smiles. “No can do. I ate the last one.”
“You did not, you little shit.”
“You’re right, I didn’t.” He holds up a baggy of sugar cookies, which has precisely one spider sugar cookie left. “Saved one just for you. Now, before you let Miss Dracula steal all your blood -” Peter reaches beside them and grabs a pair of vampire teeth and grace fully, shoves them in Tony’s mouth, who strangely enough, allows Peter to get away with such childish behavior. “There. You’re all set.”
This time, it’s Tony who whines. He thinks. It’s hard to tell with the plastic in his mouth. “Kid,” he says around the teeth, “Were these in your mouth?”
“What?” Peter pulls a face, looking disgusted. “Of course not.”
Tony stares, waiting.
“They were in MJ’s mouth.”
Slowly, he lifts his hand up and spits the teeth out in his palm, maintaining eye contact the entire time before he tosses them back at Peter. “I’m never giving you blood again.”
“Uh-huh. Sure,” Peter waves his hand in a dismissing manner, setting the teeth aside. “Hey, Alice!” he shouts across the gym. “I got your next victim - I mean! Donor!”
He tries to hide it, but Tony is still smiling when he follows Alice over to start the process.
The three of them sit on the floor in a beat of silence before it’s interrupted by the crinkling of plastic as Michelle reaches in and specifically chooses Tony’s spider cookie, eating half of it in one bite.
“Hey, Peter?” Ned whispers, his voice just as loud as Michelle’s chewing next to his super ears. “Can you push me in front of a bus? I want some of that Tony Stark blood.”
“It’s not a Willy Wonka Golden Ticket,” Michelle says, a few pieces of sugar cookie falling out of the corner of her mouth. Ned mumbles out a No, that’d be an Oscorp Spider. “You don’t suddenly inherit Stark Industries just because you get Tony Stark’s blood in your system.”
“Yeah. Well. I still want it.” Ned looks at Peter pleadingly. “Please, Mr. Spider-Man? For me?”
Peter reaches over and eats the rest of the spider cookie in Michelle’s hand in one bite. “The day I push you in front of a bus is the day I don’t faint at the blood drive.”
Ned snaps his fingers. “I’ll hold you to that.”
Michelle finishes her cookie, puts the Dracula teeth back in her mouth, and sighs. “You guys are idiots.”
“Don’t count yourself out. Those were in Mr. Stark’s mouth.”
The speed at which she spit them out is fast enough to make Peter laugh so hard, he almost passes out again.
Almost.