Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

izookoo added todoloki, hagakurara, earphonejack, serolater, uravity, SueYou, yaomomo, calamari, Alien Queen, Die, Red Riot, aoyamaman?, meshoji, Ojiyes, KojiSoap, tokosalami, MinetaTheGrapist, Satonic, Iida Tenya to Class 5A

Tuesday 0 8 : 3 4 

izookoo: hey guys! I created a group chat for class 5A!!!

yaomomo: that’s awesome!

Iida Tenya: This is a great idea! Thank you for including me!

Die: why the fuck am I here

Die left Class 5A

Red Riot added Die to Class 5A

Die left Class 5A

Red Riot added Die to Class 5A

Die: im muting this chat

KojiSoap: I’ll probs just lurk

meshoji: same bro

MinetaTheGrapist: oooh a group chat ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

earphonejack: i feel highly uncomfortable rn

earphonejack: the username is not helping

Iida Tenya: that username is highly inappropriate

MinetaTheGrapist: and here comes the class rep lol

calamari: bro pls change ur username even im uncomfortable

earphonejack: ^^

yaomomo: ^^^^

izookoo: ^^^^^

Red Riot: ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

serolater: ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Alien Queen: ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

todoloki: ^

uravity: ^^^^^

MinetaTheGrapist: fine fine no need to shame me

Alien Queen: we dont need to you do that just fine yourself

MinetaTheGrapist: R O O D

hagakurara: oof

serolater: lol

MinetaTheGrapist changed their username to MinetaTheSexyBeast

Alien Queen: this is actually worse

earphonejack: a lot worse

Chapter Text

Alien Queen added serolater, calamari, Die, Red Riot, earphonejack to good gc name pls help

Tuesday 0 8 : 5 2 

Alien Queen: WE NEEDED A GC ASAP!!!!!

Die: stop my phone blows up enough bc of kiri already

Alien Queen: KIRI TEXTS YOU???

Alien Queen: WHY DONT U EVER TEXT ME KIRI

Red Riot: i was literally texting you 20mins ago abt the physics hw

calamari: THERE WAS PHYSICS HW

calamari: HOLY SHIT 

calamari: HOLY FUCKING SHIT

serolater: ugh its too early for caps lock

earphonejack changed the group name to SHUT UP

Die: im muting this chat as well

calamari: NO WAIT I HAVE PHYSICS THIRD PERIOD SHIT WHAT DO I DO I DONT EVEN KNOW WNAT THE HW IS

earphonejack: wallow

earphonejack: cry

earphonejack: suffer

Red Riot: u know i can see you smiling from across the room right

calamari: UR FINDING JOY IN MY SUFFERING?

calamari: s a d i s t 

earphonejack: all of us find joy in ur suffering

calamari: *LE GASP

Alien Queen: i haven't finished the hw yet

Alien Queen: but it's probs wrong anyway

calamari: kiri????????

Red Riot: soz bro but I'm actually running late to skl

serolater: mina's actually copying my hw

serolater: hold on lemme send a pic

serolater sent (1) image

calamari: OMG U LIFESAVER

calamari: THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU

Die changed the group name to Dumbfucks

Chapter Text

Dumbfucks

Wednesday 1 3 : 1 6

Alien Queen: bros where we meeting for lunch

earphonejack: sero and I r at our usual table

earphonejack: kami just went to the bathroom

earphonejack: where tf u been?

Alien Queen: sorry! mic wanted to talk to me after English since I did so badly in the comprehension paper 

Alien Queen: also bc we have that discursive essay due in two days and I rlly need a good mark

Alien Queen: but he just went on and on and honestly I absorbed absolutely none of it 

earphonejack: want us to grab u a sandwich or something? 

earphonejack: b4 the cafeteria runs out

Alien Queen: YES PLS I AM STARVING English takes up way too much brain power 

earphonejack: okee c u soon and then u can rant abt English

Alien Queen: don’t need to tell me twice

Alien Queen: get me a good sandwich

earphonejack: heheh no promises

-------- 

Kaminari walked to the boy’s toilets on the far side of the school. No one ever came here because they were in such an unconventional place that seemed near absolutely nothing; only a bunch of, what he assumed, were storage rooms. He liked these toilets and they were only ones he was willing to use. They were much cleaner and certainly smelled better. He pushed the grey-blue door open, the harsh yellow light flickering staring down, almost as if it were winking morse code. As per usual, no one was here.

Kaminari exited the bathroom, picking up his school bag that he had left leaning against the wall in the hallway outside. He was about to head back to the cafeteria when he heard the soft sound of… breathing? His brows knitted in confusion as he swung his bag onto his right shoulder. He followed the noise to a grey staircase hidden around a corner a few meters away. He honestly didn’t even know that staircase existed. He always thought that the corridor just turned into another storage room or something like that. Little giggles escaped into the air and he could just make out the quiet whispers of someone saying “ssh”. It hadn’t seemed to click in his mind yet what was happening and curiosity got the better of him. His feet seemed to move on their own as he rounded the corner and only then did his eyebrows shoot up, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open. Bakugou had Kirishima pressed against the wall behind the staircase, Kirishima’s hands dancing through his hair. They were clearly kissing. Kaminari blinked a few times, unsure if he was seeing right. He thought they were both finishing a chemistry experiment for an assignment or something like that. His mind flickered back to all the times he had thought that in the last few weeks. And that was only the last few weeks. What about before then? What about all the times Bakugou had disappeared to do homework alone, Kirishima soon following after him? What about when both of them didn’t turn up to Games Night, saying they each had something else they desperately needed to do? 

“Oh, my God,” he muttered aloud. 

Bakugou’s head whipped round, startled red eyes darting all around the place. It was then that Kaminari realised that he has somehow been in the perfect spot. The stairs hid him from view, making him feel like a huge creep but also thankful because he didn’t know what he would if his friends saw him. However, he ruined all that within the next couple of seconds as he stepped back, colliding into the forgotten wall behind him. Sharp ash blonde eyebrows came crashing down, furrowing in the spot between blazing red eyes as a dull thud vibrated through the air. Kaminari was sprinting before he realised it. He passed the bathrooms, his mind running like his mouth always did, chasing circles in a garbled mess as thoughts swarmed his head. 

“Hey!” Kirishima’s voice called out and Kaminari knew they were both running after him. “Wait! Hey! Oh, crap.” The words faded into nothingness. He wondered if Kirishima sounded ever so slightly out of breath.

Another flight of stairs soon came into view and Kaminari took them three at a time, leaping up and stumbling onto the landing, hard binders from his bag slamming into his spine. He didn’t care. He scrambled to his feet when he spotted blonde hair at the base of the stairs. He wasn’t too sure which part of the school he was in; he just knew it was a part he hardly passed through, if ever. Without thinking, he ran down the corridor and pushed into the first door he could see. He really needed to hide. 

It was a small door and it opened way too easily. He fell to the ground, a loud yelp cutting through the space as he took someone down with him. The door closed shut quickly and without noise, cutting all the light out of the room in an instant. He pushed a hand onto whoever he was lying on’s mouth and waited as the shuffling outside the door moved away, taking Bakugou’s loud voice with it. A few more seconds passed and he allowed himself to relax, only now noticing how fast his heart was beating.

A hand scrambled at his own, pushing it off the person’s face. A loud intake of breath disrupted the quiet. “You were covering my nose,” the person rasped out as they took in deep breaths. “I couldn’t breathe,” they explained. Kaminari froze, his hand hovering in the air as the person tried to get their breath back. He could tell from the voice that it was a guy, but he had no idea who.

“Um, sorry,” he finally said. He could feel the chest rising and falling underneath him. The room was extremely dark and only then did he notice there were a few small pink and blue lights concentrated in the corner of the room, shining dimly at something on the counter. They reminded Kaminari of miniature stage lights. The room itself was very small. It looked like only one person was ever meant to be in there at a time. A faint blue light illuminated a part of the guy’s face. His indigo hair sprawled around him in messy waves as dark shadows cast into the space under the guy’s eyes, distorting the eyebags he had so they seemed even bigger. Purple eyes stared into his own. In the light, they looked like they were glowing.

“Uh, can you get off me? Please?” The guy asked in a flat voice, one eyebrow ever so slightly raised.   

Kaminari felt his eyes shoot wide once again and strange feeling tickled up his neck, making his ears burn. “Uh, uh, yes! Of course!” He sprung up, trying to ignore the obvious voice crack. From here he could see that there was actually a camera set up on a small tripod, staring at the whatever the mini stage lights were illuminating. “Okay, um, bye.” He spun round, stuff clattering around in his bag, before the other boy could even stand up and burst out the room, a deep pink sizzling on his cheeks and neck. He ignored it as he felt something vibrate in his pocket and hastily pulled out his phone. A huge wall of messages lit up his screen.

Dumbfucks

Wednesday 1 3 : 2 2

earphonejack: kami where the hell are you

Wednesday 1 3 : 2 4

Alien Queen: K

Alien Queen: A

Alien Queen: M

Alien Queen: I

Alien Queen: N

Alien Queen: A

Alien Queen: R

Alien Queen: I

Wednesday 1 3 : 2 8

serolater: bruh r u constipated or something

He then looked at the other group chat.

Class 5A

Wednesday 1 3 : 2 4 

earphonejack: who the fuck is it that I can hear screaming through the corridors 

SueYou: I’m in the biology labs and even I can hear them 

serolater: it sounds like bakugou

serolater: holy shit its bakugou 

serolater: why does he look like an angry cow that’s abt to burst into a cowboy bar

Alien Queen: someone please shut him up I just want to eat my sandwich and bury away the thoughts of english 

earphonejack: has anyone seen denki

earphonejack: all of a sudden he just disappeared

MinetaTheSexyBeast: lol he ded

SueYou: rip denki

hagakurara: rip denki

tokosalami: rip denki

Alien Queen: that username needs to be the one dead

He called Jirou and she immediately let him know where they all were. Kirishima and Bakugou weren’t with them, which instantly took a large weight off his chest but it was quickly replaced with embarrassment and guilt. He didn’t think they had seen him as none of the two had messaged him so they were probably still trying to figure who did see them. They were probably still searching around the school. He didn’t want to make them worry too much but at the same time bringing it up would be so awkward. And he was already feeling more than awkward. 

Kaminari bit his lip as he sat down on the outside bench next to Mina, who was absent-mindedly scrolling through her phone. She pursed her lips and took a quick selfie. A loud cackle erupted from her as she looked at the image, almost falling off the bench and onto the grass if Sero hadn’t caught her. Kaminari looked at the picture. He looked constipated. He took out his own phone and caught a glorious image of while Mina actually falling off the bench this time. Unfortunately, Mina still looked gorgeous but the real gold was in Sero’s contorted expression as he realised Mina was falling onto him. He sniggered as he opened up the group chat.

Class 5A

Wednesday 1 3 : 3 7

calamari: guess what guys I actually am alive

calamari: and I come bearing gifts 

calamari: take this tasty treat to celebrate my revival

calamari  sent (1) image

earphonejack: PAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

uravity: LMAOOOOOO

yaomomo: hehe im keeping this

Alien Queen:   CNANANAAAANAKAHAHHAHHAHAHAH 

earphonejack: mina wanted me to say that shes laughing too hard and that’s why she cant type properly

Ojiyes: pffttt thanks for the blackmail ;)

tokosalami: lol

serolater: …why me?

Chapter Text

Red Riot > Die

Wednesday 1 9 : 4 7

Red Riot: what do we do

Red Riot: what if they tell everyone

Red Riot: what if everyone ALREADY KNOWS?????

Die: stop panicking that isn't going to change anything

Red Riot: WHY ARENT U PANICKING

Red Riot: I CANT BE THE ONLY ONE PANICKING

Red Riot: START PANICKING

Die: its fine we'll find them and then we'll beat their face in

Red Riot: um now im panicking for a different reason

Die: stop panicking or you'll make me panic too

Red Riot: WHY HAVENT YOU BEEN PANICKING

Red Riot: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Die: ok im coming to ur room

Red Riot: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Chapter Text

Dumbfucks

Friday 1 8 : 10

Alien Queen: i want to party

earphonejack: im down

calamari: fUCK YES

Red Riot: need i remind u that last time u went to a party u got lost in the woods and i spent 2 HOURS looking 4 u

earphonejack: im sorry what

calamari: eh that's an exaggeration it wasn't 2 hours

serolater: nah i think it was actually closer to 3

earphonejack: kami got lost in the woods???

Alien Queen: yeah by the time we found u it was like 2am so def more than 2hrs

earphonejack: no wait hello how did i not know abt this

Alien Queen: yeah how did u not know abt this? weren't u there

earphonejack: no??? im pretty sure i would remember

Red Riot: jiro was at that musical trip thing

Alien Queen: oh yeah that orchestra residential trip i forgot abt that

earphonejack: ok someone pls fill me in then

calamari: it wasn't that big deal i was just slightly out of it and i got a bit lost

serolater: lmao u weren't slightly out of it

earphonejack: slightly out of it?

earphonejack: wait

Red Riot: oh shit here it comes

earphonejack: DENKI HAD U BEEN DRINKING????

calamari: oh god that looks scary

calamari: but noooooo

calamari: i just was rlly tired bc i only got like 2hrs of sleep the night b4

Red Riot: wait then why did u go to the party

calamari: bruh how is that even a question

Alien Queen: anyway kami decided the woods were a nice place to sit and at abt 11:30 we each got a call from him saying he was lost

Red Riot: and it took fricken forever to find him

serolater: he was sitting under a tree speaking to a mushroom

earphonejack: ok dude forget abt drinking were u high?

calamari: I WAS LOST AND SCARED AND WORRIED AND COLD

calamari: THE MUSHROOM WAS A V GOOD LISTENER

earphonejack: dude r u high rn

serolater: pfft he's basically high all the time

calamari: well heat rises so ig im just that damn hot

earphonejack: 

Alien Queen: 

Red Riot:

serolater: 

serolater: do u c this? this is our collective disappointment

Die: all of u r a collective disappointment

calamari: damn have u been lurking this entire time

Die: im trying to do hw and all u guys r just blowing up my phone

Alien Queen: i thought u said u were gonna mute this chat hmmmmmmmmmm???

Red Riot: aw baku does care abt us!

Die: fuck off im muting this chat now

calamari: hehe caught

Alien Queen: anyway back to what i was rlly saying

Alien Queen: I WANT TO PARTY WHO ELSE WANTS TO PARTY

calamari: MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

earphonejack: crap i better come along then need to make sure this guy doesn't eat any mushrooms

calamari: what i never ATE the mushroom

Die: no u just had a conversation w it like a fckn weirdo

calamari: do ur hw party pooper

Die: ur still the guy with a mushroom partner

calamari: :0

Red Riot: who's party r u going to?

serolater: wait pls tell me ur not gonna throw a party in ur dorm last time was enough of a disaster

Alien Queen: oh yeah i forgot i need a party in order to party

Die: dipshit

Alien Queen: and hey it wasn't that bad!

Alien Queen: do ur homework grumpy old man

earphonejack: momo's v social there's probably a party happening somewhere tonight that she can get us into

Alien Queen: awesome!

serolater: ok but first the real question

serolater: how have u called baku a grumpy old man and are still alive

Red Riot: i stopped baku from sending um a very obscene message

calamari: hmm...

serolater: kiri doing gods work amen

earphonejack: amen

Alien Queen: amen

Die: fuck off all of u

Chapter Text

Class 5A

Friday 1 8 : 3 2

Alien Queen: YO

Alien Queen: does anyone want to go to a party?

earphonejack: what she's really asking is does anyone know of a party that we can go to/crash

Iida Tenya: you shouldn't turn up to a party uninvited

Alien Queen: eh it'll be fine

Iida Tenya: why do i even try

aoyamaman?: ~ooh~ im in the mood for a party >,<

yaomomo: i think one of my friends r having a party tonight

yaomomo: hold on lemme check

izookoo: u know like a billion people if one of ur friends aren't having a party, it'll be bc ur having one

earphonejack: that is Truth

yaomomo: oh come on guys i don't know thattt many people 

Red Riot: u don't need to be ashamed! ur super nice so everyone likes u!

Red Riot: its one of the reasons ur one of the manliest people i know! XD

Die: oh god here we go again

Red Riot: its ok baku ur super manly as well!!!

Die: username

yaomomo: okay! my friend kendo is hosting a party! it starts in abt an hour but she says the more the merrier!!

yaomomo  sent (1) image

yaomomo: that's her address!!

Alien Queen: EEEEEEEEE THANK U MOMO!!!!!

calamari: ur so desperate for a party

Alien Queen: fuck off mushroom man u wanted to party too

calamari: :00000000000

Alien Queen: ok who's coming? we can sort out rides and stuff!!!

aoyamaman?: meeeeeeeee

serolater: yup

earphonejack: u know i am i need to supervise mushroom man

calamari: jiro u too? i feel so betrayed :0

earphonejack: good now u have some practice 

calamari: why do i need practice of feeling betrayed

calamari: jiro that sounds so ominous

calamari: kiri im scared

Red Riot: me too i think she and baku r hanging out too much

calamari: oh no

Red Riot: speaking of @Die wanna go?

Die: no.

uravity: ooh there's a party? @SueYou wanna go?

SueYou: yeah this sounds like fun

izookoo: ill come too!

izookoo: @todoloki 

todoloki: yes i was summoned?

izookoo: wanna go to a party? uraraka and tsuyu r both going!

todoloki: ok

uravity: Iida says he's coming too!!

Alien Queen: oh that's so adorable the dekusquad are going! ok bakusquad assemble were crashing this mf

serolater: well technically we've actually been invited

Alien Queen: ssh i said WERE CRASHING THIS MOTHERFUCKER

Iida Tenya: language!

earphonejack: momo and i r going on my bike

Alien Queen: ;)

Die: hold up there's a bakusquad and a dekusquad?

tokosalami: yes there's the soft bois (dekusquad), dysfunctional idiots (bakusquad) and then there's the rest of us

Die: fuck off emo boy

Alien Queen: why am i the only one who gets called out for swearing???????

Iida Tenya: its called giving up

tokosalami: oof

Die: @Red Riot im going gotta prove the bakusquad is better than the dekusquad

Red Riot: huh who knew that was all it was gonna take?

Alien Queen: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

uravity: im surprised but also not surprised

Die: ( ͡° ʖ ͡°)╭∩╮

MinetaTheSexyBeast: OH there's a party and all the girls are going? hehehehehe

Alien Queen: ok im leaving now

uravity: same

calamari: dude why

Chapter Text

Dumbfucks

Friday 2 1 : 0 2

earphonejack: i can't find denki

serolater: good for you i can't find anyone

serolater: i stg where did kiri and baku go i turned around for 1 second and they disappeared

Alien Queen: its cuz this place is just stuffed

Alien Queen: damn that kendo gal sure knows how to throw a party

Alien Queen: srsly tho how does she know so many people?

earphonejack: she's momo's friend of course she knows like a jillion people

earphonejack: still can't find denki he's like a little child that just ran away

serolater: that's a bit dark

earphonejack: skjdb 

earphonejack: i meant like in a shop or something

earphonejack: thank god we're not near any woods

serolater: out of contest this still sounds murderous

serolater: damn u rlly r hanging out with baku too much

serolater: where r u guys

Alien Queen: breathing air into my lungs in the garden

Alien Queen: its actually a v pretty garden

earphonejack: i can c u from the living room

earphonejack: how r u flirting and texting us? its not fair

Alien Queen: im just that good

serolater: ok omw

serolater: oh wait i found denki

serolater: hes chatting to some purple haired dude by the stairs

Alien Queen: yes boi go get em

earphonejack: nice to know its not a mushroom

serolater: this guy's expression is that of a mushroom

earphonejack: ...?

serolater: this guy can give todoroki a run for his money for the one with the most dead inside expression

Alien Queen: nice to know our boy has good taste in men

serolater: oh no wait

serolater: wow the guy just said something and denki's face literally was the colour as kiri's hair

serolater: oh denki just basically ran away

Alien Queen: wow

earphonejack: yup that's our boy

Alien Queen: found y'all damn that was a trip

earphonejack: oh sero i think i can c u

serolater: i can c u too!

Alien Queen: WE HAVE BEEN REUNITEDDDDDDD

Friday 2 1 : 1 5 

calamari: hey guys im alive

earphonejack: ay we're outside sitting on the hedge wall thing

earphonejack: well us minus kiri and bakugou

earphonejack: still can't find them ig

calamari: huh

Die: we left

Alien Queen: whyyyyyyyyy

Die: bc i hate parties

Alien Queen: but its still kinda early

Alien Queen: and how're we meant to be better than the dekusquad if only 4/6 of us r here

Die: congrats u can do maths

Alien Queen: uh rude

Alien Queen: fine u can take ur party pooper ass and leave

Die: we already left

Alien Queen: OMG UR SO INSUFFEREABLE

Die: good

Alien Queen: URGHGHGHGHHHHHHHH

serolater > calamari

Friday 2 2 : 1 0

serolater: have u noticed something a bit odd

calamari: wdym

serolater: like urgh i don't want to be awkward but w baku and kirishima

serolater: like they keep disappearing

calamari: yeah but idk that's normal

calamari: what r u trying to say

serolater: im not trying to say anything

serolater: idk ig its bc i thought i saw something earlier 

calamari: ...wdym

serolater: nah its stupid nvm idk what im thinking

calamari: no srsly what did u see

calamari: bc i def saw something the other day

calamari: and its been killing me bc too many things happened that day

serolater: ok u sound like u need to talk to someone

calamari: ok but first what were u sayinnngng

serolater: idk ig i just feel like they're hiding something

calamari: they're defs hiding something pls continue

serolater: i saw them standing rlly close together and they were talking but it was like different than usual u know?

serolater: and i guess i just thought maybe

calamari: i saw them kissing

serolater: something happened and baku's going through a rough time and he needs us

serolater: what

calamari: oh shit uh no

calamari  deleted (1) message

serolater: THEY KISSED???

serolater: WHAT?

serolater: HOW IS U DELETING THE MESSAGE GONNA STOP ME FROM KNOWING

calamari: I DONT KNOW IM PANICKING

calamari: FORGET IT MAYBE I DIDNT SEE QUITE RIGHT

serolater: omg and they left the party early

serolater: only those two

serolater: oh shit

calamari: NO STOP STOP STOP I DIDINT SY ANYTHING

calamari: OH NO I TOTALLY DID BAKU AND KIRI R DATING

serolater: OMG THEYRE DATING

calamari: NOW DO U KNOW HOW IVE BEEN FEELING FOR THE PAST TWO DAYS??

calamari: AND THEN I FELL ON THIS GUY AND JUST KINDA STOPPED HIM FROM BREATHING AND THEN I RAN AWAY AND THEN I SAW HIM AND AGAIN AND THEN HE REMEMBERED ME AND THEN I RAN AWAY AGAIN BC HES ACTUALLY HOT AND HE DOES PHOTOGRAPHY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

serolater: im a bit lost now but AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

calamari: so do we tell them? WHAT DO WE DO?

serolater: I DONT KNOW UVE KNOWN ABT THIS LONGER THAN I HAVE

calamari: BUT UR THE VOICE OF REASON

serolater: ONLY BC U DONT HAVE A VOICE OF REASON

calamari: EXACTLY 

serolater: ok ok here's the plan

serolater: we don't say anything we let them tell us themselves bc that's what good friends do

calamari: ok good plan

calamari: ah ok now i feel a bit better i rlly needed a mini freak out session

serolater: ...should i be worried?

Chapter Text

The Teachers' Lounge

Friday 2 3 : 3 1

Eraser Head: there r hardly any students in the dorms

Present Mic: relaxxx they're probably out having fun besides its a friday let them have fun who cares

Eraser Head: we're their teachers. we should care.

Present Mic: eh

Midnight: do u remember when we were young?

Eraser Head: unfortunately

Midnight: we used to sneak out, go to parties, have fun

Eraser Head: u dragged me to parties, i never had fun

Present Mic: yeah and we'd listen to the songs i mixed!!!

Eraser Head: ear bleeding noise, truly terrible

Midnight: oh and that one time yamada tried to climb that tree and got his foot stuck and was hanging upside down just screaming his lungs off

Present Mic: ah memories

Eraser Head: *childhood trauma

All Might: that sounds like fun ur childhood was certainly v colourful >u<

Eraser Head: fine i'll let the children be 

Midnight: :D

All Might: owo)b

Present Mic: (*´∀｀)

Chapter Text

Class 5A

Wednesday 1 7 : 5 2

uravity: URGH 

uravity: i don't usually like to judge someone as soon as i meet them but URGH

izookoo: what happened???

uravity: ok so u know how i did the 800m race

izookoo: yeah u won congratulations!

uravity: thank youuu

uravity: but there was this other girl from one of the other schools

uravity: and she basically tripped someone up, like i saw that it was on purpose 

earphonejack: yeah i saw that but i thought that girl just fell by accident

uravity: yeah that's what everyone thought but i saw that it was on purpose

earphonejack: congrats on winning by the way

uravity: oh thank u!

izookoo: damn i rlly don't like people who cheat

izookoo: who was it?

uravity: yeah but that wasn't even the worst part!

uravity: oh it was this girl with blonde hair in these messy space buns

uravity: i don't think i ever caught her name, although she did come in 2nd

uravity: but the worst part was that i confronted her abt it afterwards when i found her at the water fountain and she actually became scary

uravity: like her eyes became rlly weird 

MinetaTheSexyBeast: was it hot?

Iida Tenya  removed MinetaTheSexyBeast from Class 1A

Iida Tenya: hi sorry i just got back from the 100m race

Iida Tenya: ill add him back later

Alien Queen: pls dont

earphonejack: NO

Iida Tenya: uh anyway congrats on winning ur race Ochaco! I heard it earlier 

uravity: oh thank you!

izookoo: pls get back to ur story im too invested now 

todoloki: same tbh

todoloki: congrats on winning uraraka!

uravity: thank you! but yes back to the story

Alien Queen: oh yay u won! well done!!!!!

uravity: thank you! ok but srsly anyone who congrats me b4 im done saying this i will kill you

earphonejack: oof

uravity: anyway she was rlly scary but i wasn't too bothered since it was just her and i and like what could she do?

uravity: but then all of a sudden a bunch of these sixth years who im guessing were her friends as they had the same uniform? well they just sort of appeared 

Alien Queen: that's dodgy

uravity: yeah and things got weird fast and i honestly can't tell if she was threatening me or not

uravity: like it felt like it but at the same time the words she was saying wasn't really???

izookoo: then what happened? did the sixth years do anything? 

uravity: no mirio from the year above and bakugou arrived before anything happened but it was still so weird

uravity: like the way they were all looking at me as if they absolutely despised me or something

todoloki: forget abt them they're dumb

SueYou: yeah and if they do ever do something like that again send them my way! oh congrats on winning btw

uravity: thank you!

izookoo: we can hang out in the common area and play video games or watch a movie or something!

uravity: that sounds great! idk there was just something abt that girl that was just really unnerving but ill meet u guys there i still need to get my stuff from the changing rooms

SueYou: ok c u there!

Dumbfucks

Wednesday 1 8 : 1 1

earphonejack: what happened to uraraka was so weird

Alien Queen: ikr it sounded so weird

Alien Queen: like can u imagine just having a personal entourage of 6th years just appearing out of nowhere just to do ur bidding

Die: eh they didn't just appear i just don't think Uraraka saw them cuz they were by the walls and kinda in the shadows

Alien Queen: they still sound like some weirdo cultists to me

Alien Queen: srsly who just stands in the shadows

calamari: vampires

Red Riot: idk i think any of us would've down the same i mean if someone started confronting ur friend you'd stand by them right?

Red Riot: but it still sounded like the weirdest thing ngl im getting bad vibes bro

serolater: same

Die: yeah they were all staring at her real weird it was creepy

Die: well aside from one guy who just looked so bored that he was gonna die

calamari: is anyone else so surprised that bakubro is actually having a convo w us on this gc?

calamari: hmm maybe baku should be a hero more often

earphonejack: thank you for ruining it dumbass

Die: fuck off calamari ur a fckn fried fish

calamari: well actually squid are molluscs so can't be a fish bc fish are chordates

serolater: so this is the reason u fail all ur exams

calamari: :0

Class 5A

Wednesday 2 1 : 4 7

calamari: can i add mineta back to the gc iv gotten 143 messages from him so far and its just increasing

Alien Queen: BLOCK HIM

calamari: ok im more scared of u than i am of him

Alien Queen: good that's the way it's meant to be

Ojiyes: uhhh um .... 

tokosalami: just pretend u didn't open the gc and you'll be fine

Chapter Text

Class 5A

Thursday 0 8 : 2 1

yaomomo: GUYS

yaomomo: THE SCHOOL MUSICAL IS BEING ANNOUNCED TODAY

uravity: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Alien Queen: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA IM SO EXCITED

earphonejack: yay. 

izookoo: do you know what it's about?

yaomomo: no i just know that its something Yagi wrote

Die: wait we're not doing an actual musical

Die: great we're yagi's fckn test subjects abt to humiliate ourselves in front of everyone

Alien Queen: oh shut up mr grumpy knowing Yagi it'll probs be amazing

SueYou: ^^

Die: who agreed to this? i need to knock some sense into them, hopefully enough so they never come back

uravity: well nezu did so if u wanna knock some sense into him by all means go ahead

earphonejack: someone video it pls

Iida Tenya: NO! We do not condone violence! Especially against teachers!

calamari: so

calamari: has anyone done the maths hw heh i may have forgotten abt it and tbh im terrified of mr ecto

calamari: like he's so cool and def gives off that chill but kinda broody menacing vibe, especially with his prosthetics but damn he so scary bro

calamari: like his hat is so cool and i don't know how he's even allowed to wear it inside but his eyes are scary and his smile is just so wide

calamari: its such a creepy smile but its so cool as well

calamari: and his coat is so long like i want coat that's so cool

hagakurara: what am i witnessing rn

earphonejack: i wish i could give an explanation but this is too weird even for what im used to from him

calamari: he's just cool yet so scary DOES ANYONE HAVE HTE MATHS HW

tokosalami: at this point i just want this to stop

tokosalami sent (1) image

calamari: THANK YOU BIRDY BRO YOURE JUST AS COOL AS MR ECTO

tokosalami: i regret everything

Thursday 1 3 : 0 2

SueYou: omg the play looks so good

Die: it has a shit name 

Die: what kind of boring ass name is just 'the traveller'?

Red Riot: baku's also excited he was telling me abt how much he wanted the main role

earphonejack: oof EXPOSED

tokosalami: bruh how u still alive

uravity: bc kiri holds a special place in baku's heart 

serolater: what are u talking abt baku doesn't have a heart

todoloki: tbh im glad its not a musical i want to be part of it but i don't want to sing

aoyamaman?: i quite like musicals this play looks too brute

calamari: I KNOW THERES A FIGHT SCENE HEHEHEEHEHEH

yaomomo: it looks cool but im not sure who to audition for 

yaomomo: oh in case u missed the announcement there's a meeting on monday abt the play where they'll also be handing out scripts for the auditions

yaomomo: and the auditions r next thurday and friday 

yaomomo: there's a sign up sheet with time slots outside the drama studio u guys better hurry if u want a good time bc i think a lot of people r planning to audition

Alien Queen: thank you! i def missed the meeting but idk if i should audition or be part of the make-up team

uravity: well did u feel like any of the roles spoke to you

Alien Queen: uh...

uravity: ig u can't really tell bc we only know abt some of them

SueYou: come along to the meeting and if u like a role then audition :)

Alien Queen: ok thx!

The Teachers' Lounge

Thursday 1 6 : 1 3

Eraser Head: how come today was the first i came to know abt the school show

Eraser Head: why did no one tell me we're doing yagi's play 

Midnight: we were afraid you'd talk him out of it since it's not an actual school show

Present Mic: bit blunt but pretty much ^^

Eraser Head: why would i talk him out of it

Midnight: idk ur a grumpy old man who doesn't like change

Present Mic: also it was a lot of fun keeping a massive secret from u when the entire rest of staff knew :D

Eraser Head: that was the real reason wasn't it

Present Mic: it may have had a significantly larger percentile compared to the others

Eraser Head: i hate you both

Mignight: love u too

Present Mic: uwu

Nezu: they're right it was fun 

Eraser Head: *sigh* im going to sleep

Chapter Text

Class 5A

Monday 0 8 : 0 2

yaomomo: here's a little heads up before the corridors get too stuffed - the roles have been put up!

uravity: IM ON MY WAY

SueYou: can u send a pic of it?

uravity: sure! lemme just get to the drama studio im still in my dorm hehe

Monday 0 8 : 0 6

uravity sent (1) image

uravity: congrats everyone!

SueYou: EEEEEEE I GOT A PART!!!!!

Red Riot: omg im a fricken DRAGON THIS IS AWESOME

Alien Queen: ayyyyyyy

earphonejack: lmao baku's a barbarian

earphonejack: i can't believe yagi actually named his character Barbarian

calamari: pahahaaha do u think he wrote that role with baku in mind

Die: fuck off u overgrown pikachu

calamari: im laughing too much to be offended PAHAAHAHAHAHAHA

hagakurara: @yaomomo how did you know the sheet was up already?

yaomomo: well im the assistant director and i put up the sheet this morning

uravity: YAY YOULL BE ON SET THIS IS AWESOME

yaomomo: ;)

uravity: @izookoo @todoloki @Iida Tenya get ur straggly asses over here YOU GUYS GOT A PART!

izookoo: OMG OMG SHOUTO WE GOT A PART

Iida Tenya: ouch thanks for blatantly ignoring me

izookoo: OMG OMG SHOUTO AND IIDA WE ALL GOT A PART

Iida Tenya: thank you 

todoloki: huh im a prince

izookoo: u know that actually fits you perfectly 

serolater: is flirting happening? when did this begin????????

izookoo: im NOT flirting

uravity: its actually been happening for a bit of a while tbh

SueYou: ^^

Iida Tenya: ^^^^

yaomomo: ^^^^^^^

izookoo: ... 

todoloki: im going to pretend that didn't happen and go back to being excited that i got a part

izookoo: im just going to go die silently in a hole

yaomomo added earphonejack, todoloki, hagakurara, Die, Red Riot, izookoo, uravity, Iida Tenya, SueYou, calamari, BirdBoi, bugsbunny, lemillion, Monomania, Sen Kaibara, TETSUTETSU, ItsKendo, Suneater, tokosalami, serolater, HatsToMe, Alien Queen, shinsomniac, vinegirl, ijusthado to School Show Crew

Monday 0 8 : 2 2

yaomomo: this is the entire crew!

Die: fab another gc that will blow up my phone 

yaomomo: Kendo is the head of backstage and also will oversee those who are doing art backdrops and makeup

ItsKendo: hey guys that's me!

yaomomo: not all the makeup and art crew is here as it's still pretty early on w the show so if u guys know people who want to help then send them our way :)

yaomomo: also jiro is the only one here from the music crew as she's the head of it

ItsKendo: no one else from music really wanted to be in the gc, especially with what happened last year

serolater: what happened last year?

BirdBoi: NOPE NOPE LETS LEAVE THAT IN THE PAST SHALL WE

Monomania: who's birdboi pfft what a stupid name

bugsbunny: at least he's not known for being insufferable and a general jackass with a superiority complex :)

ItsKendo: ok guys come on let's not start this negatively

bugsbunny: i smiled, that's positive :)

BirdBoi: hey everyone! i'm hawks im in 6th year n im playing the big ol bad guy XD

BirdBoi: uh sorry but who's vinegirl and who's hatstome

HatsToMe: im mei hatsume and im backstage crew

vinegirl: hi im ibara shiozaki, im part of the art crew

shinsomniac: who's bugsbunny

bugsbunny: oh hi it's Rumi Usagiyama! im also one of the few 6th years here and im playing the evil witch lady so u better watch out ;)

TETSUTETSU: KIRIBRO CONGRATS ON UR PART!!!!!!

Red Riot: THANK YOU!!!

Red Riot: UR HERE!!!!!

TETSUTETSU: IKR ITS SO EXCITING

Red Riot: AYYYYYYYY

TETSUTETSU: AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Red Riot: AYYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAA

TETSUTETSU: AYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAAYAYAYAYAYA

Die: pls stop w ur weird ass mating ritual

Red Riot: :((((((

TETSUTETSU: :(((((((((((((((((((

Dumbfucks

Monday 1 9 : 5 4

calamari: can i just say today has been a very good day

calamari: i got a part in the school show where im a drunk shopkeeper

calamari: we got back the maths hw and sero's answers were all correct so for the first time ever i actually got full marks in a hw

calamari: and

serolater: thank mina i copied off her

Alien Queen: actually thank kiri i copied off him

Red Riot: actually we can only thank baku cuz i copied off him

earphonejack: this gc name is 100% accurate 

Die: ur all idiots

Die: aside from jiro

Die: jiro's ok

Alien Queen: u guys went shopping again didn't you

serolater: u guys go shopping?

earphonejack: MINA THAT WAS A SECRET I TOLD U IN CONFIDENCE!!!!

Die: no nvm ur all the absolute worst

calamari: THIS IS WHY HE LIKES YOU MORE THAN THE REST OF US U BRIBE HIM!

Alien Queen: oops?

serolater: wait hold on im still trying to make sense of this BAKUGOU GOES SHOPPING?

serolater: like what for? murder weapons?

Red Riot: no, clothes duh he actually got this rlly cute hoodie from this little boutique they went to

earphonejack: WAIT YOU TOLD KIRI??? IT WAS MEANT TO BE OUR SECRET SHOPPING THING

Alien Queen: well u did tell me 

earphonejack: mina sshhhhhhhhh

Die: anyway moving on i don't think fried pikachu finished what he was saying

calamari: AHA A TRUE FRIEND! although u r deflecting but im dying to say this

serolater: he's actually squealing in excitement next to me its disturbing

earphonejack: fine i shall allow this deflection but only if i get to choose an outfit for you next time

Die: no

calamari: TOO LATE THE DEFLECTIONS HAPPENING

calamari: OK OK I GOT HIS NUMBER!!!!!!

Alien Queen: who's?

serolater: denki has a crush?

earphonejack: srsly guys do u pay attention during the school show meetings? denki spent the entire time staring at shinso

calamari: WHAT I WASN'T STARING

serolater: who's shinso

earphonejack: he's the guy with purple hair and he kinda looks half dead from lack of sleep

earphonejack: he's doing photography for the school show and was getting some like behind the scene pics today during the read through

serolater: wait is this the guy that u were talking to at the party?

serolater: OMG IS THIS THE GUY WHO U FELL ON AND TRIED TO KILL

Red Riot: i am beyond lost at this point

calamari: i didnt try to kill him i just happened to stop him from breathing for a little while

Alien Queen: im so confused but this is the definition of disaster bi

serolater: but you've only talked to this guy like twice

serolater: and both times u ran away

earphonejack: yup disaster bi

Red Riot: dude what did u do

calamari: nothing nothing! srsly i was just running away and trying to hide

Die: care to elaborate?

calamari: uhhhhhhhhh

calamari: I WAS RUNNING AWAY FROM MONOMA

earphonejack: ok yeah that's valid

Red Riot: oof monoma is a... 

Die: disease

Alien Queen: death plague

serolater: mentally unstable man-child

serolater > calamari

Monday 2 0 : 1 2

serolater: nice save bro

calamari: thank you

Chapter Text

shitparty

Tuesday 1 4 : 1 2

shiggy changed the group name to League of Villains

daboi: r u going through an emo phase

daboi: why is the gc name the most try hard edgy name ever

kurokillme: why r u on ur phone u guys should be listening in class

stabbystabby: oh hey guys! how's everything 

twice: i hate school

compress the depression: same 

kurokillme: i give up

shiggy: i can change the gc name if i want

daboi: its shit

shiggy: ur shit

daboi: still better than a crybaby

shiggy: i'll have u know my birthday was yesterday not that any of u cared so technically im now a man who can drink alcohol legally now

daboi: happy belated birthday crybaby manchild

shiggy: i fuckin hate u

daboi: ditto

stabbystabby: u drink alcohol all the time

shiggy: yeah but now i can do it legally

compress the depression: when have u ever cared abt rules

twice: literally never

stabbystabby: oh! guess what happened in english

spinner: u stabbed someone

stabbystabby: noooooo

stabbystabby: so my teacher was going a massive long rant about romeo and juliet and how effectively shakespeare juxtaposes stuff to create effect and shit and then someone says something and he just goes 'ditto' and well everyone is just staring bc it was weird and unexpected and everyone ig was just surprised so someone goes 'what' and then my teachers spends the next ten minutes explaining what ditto means like dude come on ur 50yrs old why r u lecturing us abt what the word ditto means

compress the depression: how is that even possible 

compress the depression: i mean ditto means the same there explanation done how do u spend 10 mins on that shite

twice: hey at least its not that physics teacher who started flossing in front of his entire 4th year class and thought he was cool

spinner: oh yeah i saw that that was bad and he just kept going and urgh horrible horrible moment so glad someone videoed it tho

daboi: im not its cursed even worse he still goes on abt it and everyone is just like stop urgh

kurokillme: can u pls get back to not being children

daboi: fine mom

stabbystabby: fine mom

spinner: hahahaha twice was typing a reply and our teacher took his phone

compress the depression: lol spinner just got his phone taken too

compress the depression: shit he's coming over to me now

kurokillme: *sigh* children

Chapter Text

School Show Crew

Thursday 0 9 : 2 3

yaomomo: hey guys! today is the first proper rehearsal! we're going to be going through scene 1 and just basically see where it goes from there so don't forget ur scripts

yaomomo: bc of this the only people who will be needed are those acting and shinso who'll be taking photos n stuff!

yaomomo: if ur not in the first few scenes then u don't need to attend but i suggest u do as we yugi might go over some other stuff or idk say stuff

ItsKendo: those who are doing the backdrops are to meet in the art department where Midnight will be

yaomomo: rehearsal starts once school is over and ends at 5!

calamari: awesome XD

Monomania: heh guess we'll who's rlly the best at acting today

Die: ok so then we can now eliminate you

Monomania: you think so highly of yourself? fuck off and die in a hole

Die: no one will remember u or ur acting, what i do won't change that

izookoo: wow kacchan pulling out all the stops

ItsKendo: ok um those who r needed turn up to rehearsal today and try not to kill each other in the meantime 

When the final bell rang and school finished, Kaminari sprint-walked to the drama studio. "Bro, chill." Jiro joined his side and they walked down the corridor. "You look like you might piss your pants." 

"I know, I know. I'm just so excited." He rubbed his face with his hands. "Shinso is going to be there taking photos and I'm in the first scene!" He couldn't tell if he was excited or nervous. His legs felt like jelly below him. Jiro placed a steady hand on his shoulder and relief flooded through his body from the spot. 

"Try talking to him. You always calm down a bit when you get to know someone," Jiro offered and then took away her hand. They had stopped at the base of a big staircase which lead up to the drama studio. Further down corridor were some of the music rooms and Kaminari guessed that was where she was heading.

"Okay." He nodded, more to himself than anyone else. Jiro gave him a quick hug and then pulled away, waving as she disappeared down the corridor. Kaminari headed up the stairs. Todoroki stood outside the studio, entranced in the photos from last year's musical. The photos looked professional and the lighting was perfect, creating little halos around each actor. Kaminari stood next to Todoroki. He felt as if he was in the crowd, experiencing the moment even though it was only a photo. Below them, in the smallest text, sat the words 'Photographed by Hitoshi Shinso'.

The drama studio door squeaked and Shinso's head peeked out. Kaminari froze when he saw the violet eyes; he couldn't do anything but stare. A few seconds passed until finally, Shinso broke the gaze, glancing up to see the photos before looking over to Todoroki. He cleared his throat, shaking his head slightly as if something was stuck inside. "They're starting now," he drawled after a moment and disappeared behind the door again, a flash of purple hair following behind him. Todoroki held open the door for Kaminari and they entered the room without a word. Bakugou and Kirishima sat next to each other on the audience benches in front of the stage, Kirishima laughing as he poked Bakugou in the side, who reacted by staring blankly ahead as if trying very hard to not internally combust. Kaminari smirked, any existing nervousness now gone. If anyone aside from Kirishima did that, their funeral would take place within the coming week. He didn't know how he didn't realise they were together before. Everything they did now was just too obvious.

He spotted Yaoyorozu sitting at the back of the room, on the topmost bench, multiple binders open on her lap and spread out on the spaces next to her. He flashed her a grin and waved,  and received a happy one back. The only people who were actually needed for the first scene were him, Tsuyu, Midoriya and Iida, but almost everyone who was acting turned up and were sitting on various points on the audience bench, their own scripts next to them. Even some of the backstage crew were there, chatting idly with whoever was next to them. Sero's face popped up from nowhere. 

"Psst!" He smirked, a mischevious glint in his eye as he nodded subtly to Kirishima and Bakugou. Kaminari gave him a knowing grin back but before he could say anything All Might's voice boomed through the room. Chatting immediately stopped as all attention turned to him.

"Thank you everyone for coming!" He stood in the middle of the stage, a binder open in his hands. "This is very exciting for me as this will be the first play I've ever written that'll be made into a show. Yaoyoruzo is the assistant director and she'll have a copy of all your stage directions and extra notes so if u forget anything or don't have time to write it down in the moment, don't be afraid to ask her at the end." He flashed everyone a blinding grin. "Okay, enough talking. Shall we get started with the first scene?" The rehearsal started and Sero ran to sit next to Mina. She smiled at him warmly as he picked up his own script and opened it to the right page.

The rehearsal ran pretty much as expected, All Might blocking out the scenes and Yaoyorozu scribbling down notes every few minutes. When Kaminari got onto the stage, he forgot about everything and became fully invested in the story and his character. He liked his character. He was witty and made the punniest jokes. A sudden click noise pulled away his focus. It seemed to happen in slow motion. One moment he was saying his lines, his script in one hand but his eyes on Midoriya and the next he was staring at a camera, eyes wide and mouth open in shock. He forgot how to speak as the camera pulled down, revealing Shinso's slanted eyes and wild hair. Shinso walked to the side of the room, camera hanging around his neck. Midoriya waved his hand in front of Kaminari's face, drawing his attention back to what really mattered. The entire room was silent as they watched Kaminari's face heat up to an ugly shade of red, his neck and ears matching. 

"Well," All Might's voice saved him. "It's almost five so I think you all can go now. Well done everyone. You worked well today." The room buzzed as everyone filed out the room but Kaminari still couldn't move, stuck in the middle of the stage. 

"Hey." Sero and Mina came up to him, Mina's bubblegum pink hair pushing into his face as she hugged him. Kirishima joined the group hug, pulling a grumbling Bakugou in as well. Kaminari smiled to himself, his face cooling back down to their normal temperature.

"You act really well, by the way." A monotone voice stopped the hug. Kaminari knew that voice anywhere. It was Shinso's. 

"Uh, thanks." He could feel his face heat up again. "Um, you're really good at photography." 

Shinso paused for a second. "Thanks," he said before leaving the drama studio. Jiro's head poked in, the head of her guitar case sneaking its way in as well. 

"Congratulations," she said, joining them. "You talked to him."

They made their way back to the dorms, Kirishima and Mina squealing like a bunch of excited fangirls the entire way. Bakugou rolled his eyes but listened to Kaminari gush about his crush. 

"Okay, what shall we do now?" Sero asked once they reached the dorms. 

"Movie night!" Mina exclaimed. "And then we can more about Shinso!" Kaminari's face flushed pink for the hundreth time and Bakugou groaned, receiving a small shove from a smiling Kirishima.

"We can go up to my room." Jiro offered and they all raided the small kitchen nearby the dorms, stealing crisp packets and other junk that Bakugou wrinkled his nose to but ended up carrying back anyway.

serolater >  calamari

Thursday 2 3 : 1 7

serolater: look at kirishima and bakugou

calamari: omg is bakugou asleep????

calamari: i'm taking a pic of this

serolater: send me it pls

calamari: u have a phone and ur here u can also take a picture

serolater: i dont want to die and that's why im baiting u into this

calamari: damn u had to wait until i took the picture didn't u?

serolater: yes now send

calamari added serolater, Alien Queen, earphonejack to don't tell bakugou

Thursday 2 3 : 1 9

calamari sent (1) image

earphonejack: i have now changed baku's contact picture

Alien Queen: who knew he could look like a soft boi

Alien Queen: this is the guy who wants to kill everyone all the time

earphonejack: wait

earphonejack: guys look at them both

earphonejack: like irl

Alien Queen: omg they're holding hands

serolater > calamari

Thursday 2 3 : 2 2

serolater: u fucking idiot

calamari: HOW IS THIS MY FAULT THEYRE HOLDING HANDS RIGHT IN FORNT OF US

calamari: ok yes i brought attention to it

calamari: oh shit u can actually see it in the image as well

calamari: SHIT SHIT SHIT THEYRE WAKING UP

don't tell bakugou

Thursday 2 3 : 2 4

calamari: GUYS THEYRE WAKING UP

calamari: ACT NORMAL

Alien Queen: wait so is kiribaku REAL???

serolater: wtf is kiribaku

earphonejack: OMG KIRIBAKU IS REAL

calamari: GUYS STOP TEXTING HE'S AWAKE

Chapter Text

Bakugou's eyes flickered open and for a minute, he was content, happy to lean against the warmth from a sleeping Kirishima's shoulder. He glanced down to find their hands entwined. And then he looked up and his breath caught. Kaminari, Mina, Sero and Jiro were all sitting on the edge of the bed, their backs faced towards them, laughing and chatting as something played in the background on Jiro's laptop. He quickly pulled his fingers from Kirishima's and untangled their legs. It was really dark and the only source of light was Jiro's laptop but even that was being blocked by Sero. He hoped it was too dark for anyone to have seen anything. The fact that none of them was teasing them or saying anything helped to prove his point and he quickly crawled off the bed.

"It's late," he muttered. "I'm going to bed. You should all too." Sero nodded and everyone got up. Bakugou left before he could look at any of their faces.

don't tell bakugou

Thursday 2 3 : 3 6

Alien Queen: ok r we going to talk abt this

Alien Queen: or r u guys just all going to sleep and gonna forget what happened

Alien Queen: bc there's no way im forgetting about this

Alien Queen changed the group name to KIRIBAKU IS REAL

serolater changed the group name to WTF IS KIRIBAKU

earphonejack: ok so quite a few months ago during a kind of girls night a bunch of us placed bets and had a long conversation on who would start dating first

Alien Queen: and kiribaku was born

serolater: is this the fire that feeds fanfiction

calamari: im scarred

Alien Queen: but guys COME ONE THEY WERE HOLDING HANDS!!!

serolater: two guys can hold hands and not be gay

Alien Queen: bakugou was SLEEPING on kiri's shoulder!!!

Alien Queen: B A K U G O U

serolater: he and kiri r close

earphonejack: uh huh they close ;)

calamari: what should i do should i add fuel to the fire or water instead???

calamari: hmmmm

earphonejack: if ur trying to plan satanic rituals i think u should talk to tokoyami instead

serolater: bro what are u doing

serolater: think this through

serolater: what am i talking abt? this is kami here so ofc that wont happen

calamari: im offended but at the same time yeah

calamari: OK I SAW THEM KISSING

Alien Queen: OMG THEY ARE TOGETHER

earphonejack: u know im not surprised its kinda obvious

serolater: BRO WHAT HAPPENED TO KEEPING IT A SECRET?

earphonejack: u asked kami to keep a secret? ha

Alien Queen: yeah that was gonna die sooner rather than later

Alien Queen: but boy I NEED THE DETAILS

Alien Queen: when did this happen?

calamari: i think around 3 weeks ago? u know that day where i spent ages in the bathroom?

earphonejack: yeah sero kept asking if u were constipated it was disturbing

calamari: anyway well u know how that day i met shinso and almost stopped him from breathing

serolater: u didn't almost stop him from breathing, u def stopped him from breathing

calamari: i would make a bad flirting joke rn but uve all seen me in front of him

Alien Queen: yes ur a disaster bi we can all agree now continue b4 i come of to ur dorm and force the words out ur throat

calamari: ok um wow

calamari: anyway so u know how i said that i was running away from monoma? well i was running from baku's scary face and then was hiding

earphonejack: wait what

serolater: he saw them kissing and him being the smart ass he is decided the best course of action was to run away

Alien Queen: omg i still can't believe they're together

Alien Queen: well i can but still AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Alien Queen: im so excited for them EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

earphonejack: if they know it was u and began chasing u how come they've not said anything?

calamari: yeah somehow i dont think they saw me

earphonejack: wow u having stealth skills who knew?

serolater: remember, he almost killed the love of his life while being 'stealthy'

calamari: ASJDLFKL;S 

serolater: anyway im tired so im going to go to bed

serolater: and none of u be weird tmr

Alien Queen: we're never weird

earphonejack: these guys r always weird

serolater: jiro true

Alien Queen: excuse

calamari: yeah mina they right

Alien Queen: im too tired to argue

Alien Queen: but im so excited to tease baku's squishy face

earphonejack: its a good thing he's not in this chat

serolater: NO! that's what i meant by not being weird they cant know we know!

Alien Queen: wait what why

serolater: baku will get super mad and its not fair

serolater: think about it would u like someone knowing abt ur relationship if u havent told anyone yet?

Alien Queen: but they're not subtle

Alien Queen: what if this is they're way of telling us?

earphonejack: sero's right its not fair

earphonejack: if u want to scream about them then just do it here :)

Alien Queen: im holding u to that

Alien Queen: OMG YES

serolater: that scares me why is there a full caps yes there

Alien Queen: IM GOING TO SEEE HOW MANY PICS OF BAKU LOOKING SUPER SOFT AND LOVEY DOVEY I CAN GET

serolater: that's literally the dumbest thing ive ever heard and i hang out w kami on a daily basis

calamari: why r u attacking meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

earphonejack: ok thanks for the heads up i'll start planning ur funeral then

Alien Queen: heh guess i'll put the fun in funeral then

calamari: OOH I'LL HELP THIS CAN BE LIKE A SECRET MISSION

earphonejack: ur terrible with secrets this will end in ur bones burning

calamari: oh come on im not thaaat bad w secrets

serolater: this chat is literal proof

Alien Queen: its ok kami i believe in u even tho theres no way u can keep a secret to save ur life :)

calamari: i feel like im being tricked but ok

calamari changed the group chat name to op soft bakuboi

calamari: LET OPERATION SOFT BAKUBOI COMMENCE

Alien Queen: WOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

earphonejack: *exhasperated sigh*

serolater: just go to sleep

serolater: please

Chapter Text

op soft bakuboi

Friday 0 8 : 2 1

Alien Queen: ok we have plan

serolater: no

calamari: *yes ;>

Alien Queen: where's jiro? we need her for this to work

serolater: we're literally sitting in the same room

calamari: dunno where jiro is but i'll call her

calamari: also we cant have others eavesdropping on the plan

serolater: there should be no plan! 

calamari: we need to communicate when kiribaku r within earshot

calamari: also we can't let slip their secret relationship to any suspecting souls

serolater: damn that's actually smart

serolater: that final point everything else is stupid

Alien Queen: yay! i knew u still had at least one brain cell kami! UwU

calamari: UwU

earphonejack: why am i the only one with literal brains here

Alien Queen: jiro! perfect just in time!

serolater: ah thank fucks someone w sanity is here

Alien Queen: get ur ass in form we have Plan

calamari: Ultimate Plan

Alien Queen: Big Boi Plan

calamari: ... big boi peen

serolater: oh god just kmn

earphonejack: um hi i was just walking down from the dorms with momo

earphonejack: im actually slightly curious how this will go, u have my approval

earphonejack: i will have the video recording ready

earphonejack: for my Amusement

serolater: urgh fine if u cant beat em might as well watch their bones get cronched from the sidelines ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

calamari: bro im having such mixed feelings

calamari: im so proud but at the same time i wanna cry

calamari: u said 'cronched' TT-TT

Class 5A

Friday 1 0 : 3 2

meshoji: i have witnessed a lot of weird shit

meshoji: including that time baku and izuku looked a bit like they were smoking weed

Iida Tenya: i dont approve of texting during class but what

izookoo: we weren't smoking it :)

Iida Tenya: oh good

Iida Tenya: NO WAIT WHAT

calamari: bro hook me up im dying over here

izookoo: im pm u :)

uravity: no, no drugs

uravity: unless u include me

meshoji: ok ive started to fall into a hole that i did not want to fall into but

meshoji: wtf r kami and mina doing

meshoji: i mean physics is boring and damn it's hard n confusing

meshoji: but im more confused by why mina's sprawled over sero's desk and why kami is hiding (really badly) under it

meshoji: sero my man u don't look comfortable

serolater: that's bc im not

serolater: u wouldnt be either if u had these two dipshits to deal with

uravity: damn i'm not in ur physics class :(

todoloki: bigger question: how have these guys gone unnoticed 

todoloki: i do one thing and the teacher's all up my ass

serolater: when u r dumb u get away w everything

SueYou: what was that noise

SueYou: im in bio and ik ur guys class is directly above mine

uravity: wait what happened???

meshoji: mina fell off sero's desk

MinetaTheSexyBeast: ooh sero has mina draped over his desk... slutty

MinetaTheSexyBeast: next thing u know she'll be bent over it ;)

serolater: WHO ADDED HIM BACK

meshoji: bruh ur face is red like rlly red

meshoji: like rrlly fckn red

izookoo: wait is this why kami spammed the chat with like 50 memes the other day

serolater: DENKI I WILL COME INTO UR ROOM TONIGHT AND SHAVE UR EYEBROWS

serolater: WHO'S TABLE HAS HE CRAWLED UNDER?

meshoji: holy shit he's sitting under baku's desk 

Die: ngl pikachu u kinda look like ur gonna suck my dick

calamari: OW WTF WHY DID U HAVE TO KICK ME??

uravity: i wish i had some popcorn

izookoo: same

izookoo: actually wait a sec

uravity: wait whats happening

hagakurara: why did izu just pop in a basically steal away uraraka

hagakurara: do u know what i dont want to know

earphonejack: why do i come back to my phone and one of the first things i see is kami's gonna suck baku's dick

todoloki: pls stop repeating it ive witnessed the exchange physics is a mess rn

todoloki: but oh so amusing so pls continue

todoloki: :)

MinetaTheSexyBeast: did someone take a picture of mina bent over sero's desk?

SueYou: omg ew no make it go away

hagakurara: lmao iida just snatched mineta's phone and yelled YEET THIS GRAPE BOY and threw the phone across the room

hagakurara: somehow it landed in a pile of papers and isn't broken

SueYou: round of applause for iida

todoloki: physics' too much of a disaster so that's why no one's replying

tokosalami: jiro told me to open the chat but my regrets cupboard is already bursting

todoloki: wait is that izuku and uraraka at the door

todoloki: holy sht how long have u been standing there u look like a bunch o creeps

izookoo: u can't say much u class is a bunch o psychos 

todoloki: ...touche

Red Riot: oh hey i just checked my phone whats up

Die: trying to kill kami

serolater: trying to kill kami

Die: half n half stop sitting there just sipping ur lemonade

todoloki: haha nope

uraraka: izu just literally let out one of those swooning sighs

izookoo: I DID NOT!!!

SueYou: heads up kiri left class so...

todoloki: oh he's joined the creeps outside the door

todoloki: ok no he's in the room

earphonejack: bros u cant just leave us hanging like this we're in music, on the other side of the school

todoloki: nothing special happened, kiri just handed a bunch of paper forms or something to our teacher and then our class went back to normal

tokosalami: wait what

meshoji: yeah we're all now just working through the practice questions in the book

tokosalami: oh

op soft bakuboi

Friday 1 0 : 4 7

Alien Queen: I GOT IT

Alien Queen sent (1) image

calamari: our boy's whipped 

serolater: im still shaving ur eyebrows 

calamari: wELP

earphonejack: cronch cronch motherfucker

Chapter Text

Class 5A

Wednesday 1 3 : 1 4

yaomomo: so my friend kinda is having this halloween party

yaomomo: and they want it to be really big so basically whoever's invited ig?

yaomomo: so if u want to go to a party this halloween then here's the address n timings n stuff

yaomomo sent (1) image

Alien Queen: FUCK YES IM GOING TO THIS

Alien Queen: bakusquad ur coming with me

Die: no.

Red Riot: oh come on it'll be so much fun! and you'll get to wear a costume bro!

Die: No.

Red Riot: :(

Alien Queen: is the dekusquad going?

izookoo: i dun know sounds like it could be fun but then again isn't halloween on a thursday this year?

yaomomo: yeah he's having a small one on thursday but then a bigger one (this one) on friday

izookoo: oh cool then i'll probs go

uravity: same i rlly wanna dress oooop

SueYou: yeah sounds fun

todoloki: guess im going then

Iida Tenya: i worry about u lot so i need to go

uravity: pahaha just admit u wanna have some fun

Alien Queen: yeah u can be without a stick up ur ass for one night!

Iida Tenya: ...

Die: fine if the dekusquad are going then the bakusquad r going

tokosalami: i can't believe that actually still works

Alien Queen: ikr

izookoo: wow new ways to manipulate kacchan hehehe

Die: ur NOT manipulating me im agreeing upon my own terms

Red Riot: uhuh

Die: shitty hair where r u anyway

Red Riot: oh i went back to the cafeteria to get more food heh

earphonejack: i swear u spend most of ur life either eating or working out

earphonejack: or struggling over maths

Red Riot: yeah i cant deny them theyre all true

earphonejack > yaomomo

Wednesday 1 3 : 2 5

earphonejack: hey u ok?

earphonejack: u seem kinda unsure abt this party

yaomomo: yeah im fine :)

yaomomo: im just not too sure about whether or not it's a good idea to go

yaomomo: maybe i shouldn't have told anyone abt it

earphonejack: why?

yaomomo: it's the guy who's hosting it

yaomomo: i mean sure i know him but he's not really my friend and he's a bit of a jerk person

earphonejack: who is it? im guessing someone from another school

yaomomo: yeah his name's yo shindo and he's from ketsubutsu 

yaomomo: this party will be really big and he's kinda known for having out of control parties anyway

yaomomo: and letting anyone in without and invite is just a bad idea

yaomomo: i dont know if i should go or not

earphonejack: u dont have to go, i'll stay here with you or we can do something

earphonejack: like we could have a movie night or even prank mineta or monoma's dorm room

yaomomo: haha that sounds nice

yaomomo: but i think we should go

yaomomo: i think as a year group we're really good at looking out for one another and i think more there is there from UA hopefully the better it'll be?

yaomomo: i dunno i just dont want something to happen and for me to not even be able to do anything

earphonejack: ok but just dont feel forced to go

earphonejack: ik how social u are but sometimes it's ok to just take a step back and have some time for urself

yaomomo: ok

yaomomo: thanks :)

earphonejack: no problem :)

School Show Crew

Wednesday 1 7 : 0 2

Red Riot sent (1) video

Alien Queen: PAHAHAHAAH

Monomania: HEY DELETE THAT NOW!

Red Riot: haha no

BirdBoi: oh so that's what that loud bang was during rehearsal yesterday

shinsomniac: im keeping this this is gold

Monomania: you have no right to film without permission!

Monomania: delete it now or im going to have to tel nezu!

Alien Queen: yeah go tel nezu

Monomania: SHUT UP

calamari: chill man its just a hilarious compilation of u falling on ur ass during rehearsal with some great close ups may i add

Die: this brings me so much joy

Birdboi: which part? Monoma's pain now or during the video?

Die: both

todoloki: well done kirishima this is True Art

Red Riot: why thank you

Monomania: DELETE IT

Red Riot: fine fine

Red Riot deleted (1) message

Red Riot: there the deed has been done

Monomania: thank you

calamari: im going to turn that into a drug meme

Monomania: u spend so much time on useless things like this and this is the reason u have no brains

calamari: ill have u know i got full marks in the maths hw what did u get like 6?

shinsomniac: oof shots fired

Monomania: i can't lower myself by associating myself with u people

Monomania  left School Show Crew

tokosalami: did that rlly just happen

todoloki: yes

calamari: boys look what we can achieve when we work together

Red Riot: i feel bad abt not feeling bad

Die: i dont

serolater: he's scared of u already tho so

Die: yeah and that's even better

ItsKendo: dw ill talk to him and explain how it was all a joke

ItsKendo: that video was great tho pls pm me the vid

Red Riot: sure

bugsbunny: wow bullying people rlly does get the girls

BirdBoi: ah bunny thirsting after a date

bugsbunny: uve been single far longer than i have

BirdBoi: stOP ExpOSING mE

bugsbunny: but i need to bully someone so i get a date :)

BirdBoi: ...fuck u right

yaomomo: anyway

yaomomo: ive already told the rest of my class 

yaomomo: but one of my friends are having a halloween party and basically anyone can go

yaomomo sent (1) image

bugsbunny: ooh that looks fun!

BirdBoi: maybe u can get a date now and stOP BUllyING MEE

bugsbunny: haha never

shinsomniac: do u know who's going so far?

yaomomo: uh the bakusquad, dekusquad, most of my class and anyone else who wants to go

shinsomniac: cool i'll go then

lemillion: we'll probs go as well

ijusthado: EEEEEEEEEEE

Suneater: ...yay how fun.

Chapter Text

op soft bakuboi

Thursday 1 9 : 5 4

earphonejack: its almost been a week, how's this op going?

serolater: terribly

Alien Queen: the actual best

calamari: baku's so whipped its hilarious

earphonejack: shinso's here

calamari: ASLKFNLW WHERE

earphonejack: WHIPPED

Alien Queen: WHIPPED

serolater: i would laugh mockingly but these two's bullshit has killed me

earphonejack: oh yeah how r u guys still alive

Alien Queen: we've been using sero as a human shield 

serolater: :0 im being used!!!!

calamari: also we have the power of STEALTH

earphonejack: do u actually have any photos aside from the one from physics

serolater: no

Alien Queen: yes

Alien Queen: WHAT? WE SO DO HAVE PHOTOS

serolater: they're all shit

earphonejack: send and ill give my final decree

Alien Queen: ok i would have more but 1) baku never smiles 2) we trying not to die and 3) present mic keeps talking to me at lunch and stuff about my essays :(

Alien Queen sent (14) images

earphonejack: holy shit i thought u only were gonna get like two

calamari: nah we found a way to break baku

serolater: i was their guinea pig i hope baku hasnt figured anything out

Alien Queen: yeah turns out we don't need kiri to be there for baku to well not look like bakugou

calamari: yeah we just talk about him instead

calamari: we use our stealthiness to slip kirishima into casual conversation

earphonejack: wow some of these are actually ok

earphonejack: omg look at image 5 it actually looks like baku could be blushing

earphonejack: possibly

serolater: oh yeah thats when these guys forced me to talk about kirishima at the gym

earphonejack: oh so thats what tokoyami was talking about

serolater: elaborate pls

Alien Queen: yes u cant just say that and leave us

calamari: spill the tea sis

earphonejack: *sigh* i wish i could remove u from this chat

earphonejack: anyway abt half the class thinks sero has a crush on kiri and are trying to subtly help u bc they've been hearing sero talk about him nonstop for the past week

serolater: ... shit 

serolater: no

serolater: crap

Alien Queen: oh that's funny

calamari: lmao if baku finds out sero will rlly be ded this time

serolater: not helping bro

Alien Queen: its fine tho it's not like u actually like him 

Alien Queen: wait u don't like kiri do you?

serolater: oh no! no im one of the only straight people in this gc

serolater: im not saying i have anything against u guys i love u all

serolater: im just saying i dont like kiri

serolater: in that way

Alien Queen: oh ok good good

calamari: oh damn if baku was gonna kill u then that meant that we were gonna get off the hook

serolater: ...

earphonejack: um yeah sero abt being one of the only straight people in the group

earphonejack: uh i actually have something to tell you all

earphonejack: hold on lemme go to the other gc where all of us r there

Dumbfucks

Thursday 2 0 : 1 1

earphonejack: um hey guys i have something to tell you all

Red Riot: sup 

earphonejack: yeah its actually kinda important i think and haha i dont know why im nervous

Alien Queen: don't be nervous! we'll always support you! you can tell us anything!

calamari: yeah! we're here for you!

Die: hey kiri told me to stop studying im here

earphonejack: oh so um for a while ive been doing a lot of thinking

earphonejack: and ive kinda been wondering about a lot of things

earphonejack: and ive been talking to momo a lot and ig i thought she was super cool and i just wanted to be really good friends with her or something

earphonejack: but then the more we hang out idk ive just kinda realised

earphonejack: oh wtf ill just say it

earphonejack: i like girls

earphonejack: im a lesbian

Alien Queen: oh congratulations! thank you for telling us!!!!! 

calamari: yesssssss girl

Red Riot: omg im so happy for you! 

serolater: this calls for a party!!!!!!!!!!

Die: normally i hate parties but im bringing the popcorn

Alien Queen: yes! jiro we're all coming to ur room!

calamari: oh i found these really disgusting sweets that we should all definitely try im bringing them!

earphonejack: oh guys im actually crying u guys are the best

Red Riot: im so glad u came out! thats super manly omg i love u sm

Red Riot: also u said something abt momo so we're all going to talk about that now XD

earphonejack: thanks guys

Alien Queen: we'll always support u 

Alien Queen: its not like we cant practically the entire group is queer lmao

Die: half is not the entire group geez do i need to teach u maths too?

Alien Queen: ah yeah

Alien Queen: no wait i meant to say that was just an over exaggeration 

Alien Queen: ahahahahahahaah

Alien Queen: ok everyone just get to jiro's room

Chapter Text

serolater > Alien Queen

Thurday 2 3 : 1 9

serolater: hey u still up?

Alien Queen: yeah still awake whats up?

serolater: so uve been mentioning quite a bit that mic keeps talking to u abt ur essays n stuff

serolater: uh if u ever wanted any help i could idk proof read them or something?

Alien Queen: really? that'll be awesome thank u!

serolater: ok great :)

Alien Queen: wait

serolater: yeah? still here

Alien Queen: ik its late but can we just chat for a bit?

serolater: sure

serolater: what do u wanna chat abt?

Alien Queen: uh idk its just kinda of been a lot recently

Alien Queen: like i love how things are going but so much has been happening at once

Alien Queen: i feel like everyone is doing things while im just failing at english

serolater: u wont fail at english i'll make sure of that :)

Alien Queen: of course ;)

serolater: but i get what u mean

serolater: all of a sudden everyone has crushes springing out of nowhere

serolater: and its fine im not saying anything's wrong w that its just like woah when did this happen bc somehow they're all happening at the same time

Alien Queen: ikr and have u noticed midoriya and todoroki

serolater: lmao yes

serolater: they're certainly better than kiribaku but when todoroki goes all red? lol

Alien Queen: lmao 

Alien Queen: ngl midoriya does have some skills tho

serolater: who would've thought? somehow who mutters so much is actually a natural at flirting? does he even realise he's flirting???

Alien Queen: lmaoo i dont think he does 

serolater: u know this is all Hawks' fault

serolater: midoriya spends so much time w him on set he's 'picking up the ways of the bird'

Alien Queen: omg what is that guy's obsession w birds

Alien Queen: is his eyebrows naturally like that or does he spend half an hour every morning just styling them?

serolater: i bet he has a special bird sponsored gel too

Alien Queen: pahaha

Alien Queen: he is a handsome guy tho so gotta give him some credit

serolater: yeah hes a pretty ok looking guy

Alien Queen: oh come on u can say he's attractive i wont tell anyone 

serolater: i can feel ur devious eyes from here

serolater: i am not an insecure straight guy i can say guys are handsome and guess what

serolater: Hawks is a very attractive man

Alien Queen: ayyyyyyyy

serolater: but i blame u for making everyone think i like kiri

Alien Queen: oh it's not all bad it could be worse

Alien Queen: at least ur not mineta

serolater: ah that's true

serolater: still cant believe he said that stuff during physics tho

Alien Queen: ah yes that

Thursday 2 3 : 3 5

Alien Queen: anyway it's late so im gonna go to sleep now

serolater: yup me too goodnight

Alien Queen: goodnight xx

serolater > Red Riot

Thursday 2 3 : 3 6

serolater: hey man ur probably the best one to go to abt this

serolater: if someone ends a message with xx does that mean they like u?

Red Riot: depends

Red Riot: what was the message?

serolater: it was just 'goodnight xx'

Red Riot: ooh putting in the speech marks fancy bro

Red Riot: but then again it rlly depends

Red Riot: some people use xx excessively and to others it means nothing

serolater: ah

Red Riot: but don't lose hope!!!

Red Riot: if u dont mind me asking who was it?

Red Riot: u dont have to tell if u dont want to!!!!!

serolater: ah um

serolater: ok it was mina

Red Riot: oh

Red Riot: OH

Red Riot: oh damn i rlly dont know man

serolater: ah its fine dw abt it

serolater: thanks anyway

Red Riot: no wait!

Red Riot: i have a plan!!!

serolater: that sounds ominous

serolater: pls dont do anything its fine!!

serolater: and ur gone

serolater: ah these plans scare me 

Red Riot  > Alien Queen

Thursday 2 3 : 4 1

Red Riot: hey bro!

Alien Queen: oh hi!

Alien Queen: whats up?

Red Riot: oh nothing really

Red Riot: just wanted to say goodnight :)

Alien Queen: oh ok goodnight :)

Red Riot > serolater

Thursday 2 3 : 4 3

Red Riot sent (1) image

serolater: dude wtf

Red Riot: she didn't put xx for me

Red Riot: soooooooo

Red Riot: ( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) ͡°)

serolater: omg pls never

Red Riot: ( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) ͡°) ( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) ͡°) ( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) ͡°)

serolater: ugh kiri why i believed in u

serolater: but thank u

serolater: it probably means nothing and i shouldnt get my hopes up but thank u :)

Red Riot: np!! 

serolater: i swear kiri if u

Red Riot:  ( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) ͡°)

serolater: goddamn it kiri

Red Riot: :) 

Red Riot: k goodnight

serolater: goodnight

Die > serolater

Thursday 2 3 : 4 7

Die: were u tempted to put xx on the end of that

Die: ik ur awake dont ignore me u bastard i will come to ur dorm room

serolater: i feel so threatened rn

Die: i have a bet going 

Die: lmk so i can win

serolater: what do u get if u win

Die: not important

serolater: *raises eyebrow*

Die: *flips middle finger*

Die: ok now tell me i want to win

serolater: fine i may have been ever so slightly tempted BUT I DIDN'T DONT KILL ME

Die: fine ill kill u another time

Die: right well i win so 

Die: thank u

serolater: that was physically painful wasnt it

Die: fuck off

serolater: can i get half the money seeing as u couldn't win without my help

Die: no

Die: go to sleep u need to get up 4 skl tmr

serolater: talk to urself

Die: username

serolater: right goodnight to u too

serolater: and ofc just dont reply

serolater: WAIT HOW DID U EVEN KNOW ABT THIS

serolater: BAKUGOU

serolater: R U W KIRI RN

serolater: FU

Chapter Text

Dumbfucks

Tuesday 1 6 : 3 2

Alien Queen: so guys how's rehearsal going?

Alien Queen: any fun and embarrassing moments i need to know of???

Die: shouldn't u be going over ur essay

Alien Queen: sero's reading over it rn

Alien Queen: he's taking a rlly long time should i be worried

Die: yes

Red Riot: nah i'm sure it's fine

Red Riot: rehearsal is going good, baku and i currently r just watching cuz we're not in the scene

Red Riot: but kami's doing great so far like srsly didn't know he was so good at acting

Red Riot: that wasn't meant to come out in a bad way

Alien Queen: lol it's fine no one thought that

Red Riot: woop

Red Riot: anyway shinso isn't here today i think he's helping out in art?

Die: so pikachu hasnt done anything hilarious yet >:(

Alien Queen: pahaha

Red Riot: rehearsal's kinda boring without all u guys :(

Alien Queen: isn't like the rest of the cast there n backstage n stuff?

Red Riot: not today, everyone's getting stuff for halloween

Die: oh great halloween yay death 

Alien Queen: i'm still working on my costume!!!!

Red Riot: i swear if u r some form of alien....

Alien Queen: damn fine

Alien Queen: i have another idea now hehe ;)

Die: i can feel the smugness through to here

Die: get back to doing ur damn english essay

Alien Queen: fine mommm

Die: i will come over there and kick ur ass so hard an english essay wont be the only thing coming out ur mouth

serolater: mm not an image i wanted in my head thank u vm

Red Riot: same

bugsbunny > BirdBoi

Tuesday 1 7 : 2 2

bugsbunny: which costume?

bugsbunny sent (2) images

BirdBoi: hmmm

BirdBoi: 1

BirdBoi: tbh both r better than literally every other outfit you've shown me so far

bugsbunny: ok come on they werent that bad

BirdBoi: *raises eyebrow*

bugsbunny: ok yeah sure some of them aren't exactly made for cold weather and are a bit impractical

bugsbunny: but isn't that every halloween costume ever?

BirdBoi: no some people are furries

bugsbunny: like u?

BirdBoi: i'm not a furry!

BirdBoi: birds r just really cool they can flyyyyyyyyyyyy

bugsbunny: anyway b4 i dig myself into a horrible, disgusting hole

BirdBoi: excuse

bugsbunny: what r u going as

BirdBoi: ok here's a hint

BirdBoi sent (1) image

bugsbunny: ... is that a collar? that's kinky bro

BirdBoi: :0

BirdBoi: it's not kinky!

BirdBoi: ok now that you've pointed it out ig it rlly is wow

BirdBoi: that was not intentional

bugsbunny: yeah sure

bugsbunny: ur just as thirsty as i am admit it

BirdBoi: oh would u look at that i have to get back to rehearsal c ya!

bugsbunny: come back here u little bitch rehearsal ended 20 mins ago

bugsbunny: i know ur sitting in ur room eating leftover cereal

BirdBoi: ;P

Chapter Text

"You've got to be fucking kidding me!" Bakugou's voice roared from inside the bathroom and Jiro giggled. Kiri raised an eyebrow, the tiniest of smiles hinting at his lips. Jiro had used this time to cash in her chance to pick an outfit for Bakugou. 

"What is it?" he whispered as Jiro covered her mouth, more giggles threatening to break free. She shook her head and pointed to the bathroom door. The doorknob rattled and Bakugou burst out, his face contorted in anger but Kirishima could also make out the soft pink flush of embarrassment hiding under his skin. Bakugou’s knuckles were almost white as he gripped the plastic bag in his hand. He threw the bag on the floor and Kirishima immediately lunged for it. The first thing he pulled out was some very fluffy blonde dog ears attached to a headband. 

"Oh, ho, ho, wow," Sero commented from where he was leaning against the wall by the door. They were sitting in Kirishima’s room and it was still only seven so technically the group had ages to get ready before they left for the party, but make-up and stuff took a long time. Kaminari and Mina had both gone to start to get ready.

Kiri pulled out more of the outfit to reveal what appeared to be a slightly torn t-shirt, a dark trucker jacket as well as a long fluffy tail which also matched Bakugou's hair. A slow grin spread onto his face. He could already picture it. "Was this meant to be a werewolf outfit?" He turned to Jiro who had fallen onto the bed, silent laughs shaking her whole body. Eventually, she nodded and got up to quickly pat Bakugou’s head. He snapped at her with his teeth.

"See? Suits him." She tossed the bag to Bakugou and motioned to the bathroom once more. "Hurry up and get changed. We need to put on the blood and make-up next." The grin never left her face.

"I'm not wearing that." Bakugou gritted out. 

"You don't have another costume," Sero's voice jumped in as he scrolled through something on his phone. "And we want to beat the dekusquad, remember?"

Bakugou almost growled again. "Forget you shaving Pikachu's eyebrows, I'll get yours first." He snatched the bag back and slammed the bathroom door behind him as Jiro burst out into laughter once more.

“So, when are you guys going to get dressed?” Kiri asked after a few seconds.

Sero shrugged in response. “I don’t have any make-up for my costume so it won’t take long.” Kirishima nodded. His was the exact opposite. He’d probably need to start getting dressed as soon as possible but he really wanted to see what Bakugou would look like with cute fluffy ears and a swooshy tail. He wondered if people would call him a furry. His lips quirked up at the thought.

Jiro took out her own phone as they waited for Bakugou. “The most for my outfit is just the make-up but Mina said she’d help me with that once she was done getting changed so I’m just waiting for her.”

At that moment, Bakugou’s angry glare peeked out from behind the bathroom door. “There’s no trousers in the bag.”

“Oh!” Jiro’s eyes widened. “Oops, sorry. I forgot to tell you. I thought you could just use your jeans or something.”

“I’ll get them,” Kiri offered and pulled a pair of black jeans from Bakugou’s drawer, knowing exactly where they were kept. Sero and Jiro shared a small look as he tossed them at him. Bakugou caught them with one hand and ducked away again.

The door clicked once Bakugou was done and he walked out, a frown sitting low on his eyebrows. “Come on,” Sero said in between chuckles. “You’re meant to be a werewolf, not Grumpy Cat.” Jiro sniggered next to him but Kiri could only stare. Despite his frown, Bakugou looked like a soft little child, silently pouting and flapping at the ears on his head. Every time he moved the tail behind him swished, the light blonde a stark contrast against the black jeans. Bakugou’s eyes flicked to his and he looked away, his neck shading a dark red.

The door burst open and Mina and Kaminari walked in. “We’re here!” Mina exclaimed in a singsong voice, not caring if everyone in the surrounding dorms could hear her. Mina’s eyes were completely black (Kiri wasn’t too sure how… contacts? Make-up?) and two little pink horns stuck out from her hair, matching the pink body paint that covered her skin. White fur sat upon the shoulders of a small jacket that didn’t even come down to her midriff. Under that was a neon purple and green mini dress followed by black thigh high heeled boots. “Pfffft.” She almost collapsed against Sero when she saw Bakugou’s costume. Her mouth was moving but not a word came out as she pointed at him and laughed, her hand shaking in the air. Bakugou’s face got redder and redder as his fists clenched.

“Buddy! We’re matching!” Kaminari jumped in, showing off his Chat Noir outfit and tapped the sleek black cat ears that sat upon his own head. His black tail bobbed behind him awkwardly, looking more like a random belt he just stuck to his back. To top it off, he outlined his eyes with super sharp winged eyeliner.

“Wow,” Jiro commented. “So, I guess we have two furries in our group then, and whatever Mina is.”

“I’m a demon!” she exclaimed. Her throat sounded a little hoarse from laughing.

“You look like you’re from the 70s.” Mina stuck her tongue out to that and did a flamboyant twirl before returning to Sero’s side.

Sero pushed off the wall and tucked his phone into his trouser pocket. “Okay, I’m going to get changed now. See ya!”

“See ya, m’lady!” Kaminari called out before he left. Sero sighed and left.

Jiro stared at him. “No. Don’t tell me…” She cringed. “No.”

Kaminari grinned at her, a malicious glint shining in his eyes. “Yes.”

Everyone left fairly soon after and Kirishima started to get dressed. Bakugou had promised to help with the body paint because painting your own back is hard. He was going as Fireboy from the Fireboy and Watergirl game he played so much as a kid. He thought his hair fit the character perfectly.

“Done.” Bakugou announced in a deadpan voice and turned to wash off any red paint on himself. When he came back Kirishima had already put in the yellow eye contacts and, honestly, Bakugou thought it looked both disturbing and hot, somehow. He was also pretty sure Kirishima was just using this costume as an excuse to not wear a shirt, even though it was cold outside. Not that he was complaining. Kirishima leaned in closer and Bakugou closed his eyes, expecting a kiss. Instead, a red hand reached over and started stroking the top of his head where his ears were. “Hey!” He dodged away. “You’ll get red paint everywhere!”

Kirishima snorted. “Chill, man. We can just pretend it’s blood.” He then tapped the end of Bakugou’s nose, leaving a bright red fingerprint and ran out the room, Bakugou hot on his heels, screaming random expletives.

»»---------------------►

"Come on, everyone! Let's go!" Toga hopped into the living room, swinging a baseball bat carelessly around her. To be honest, Dabi didn't care if she broke anything. This wasn't his house after all. In fact, he wished she did smash something just so he could see Shigaraki's cry-baby face explode. A small smile tugged at his lips at the thought. Toga was prancing around in a Harley Quinn costume, way too much leg showing for a sixteen-year-old. Her blonde pigtails flew around her blood-smeared face and Dabi wondered how she had so much energy. Spinner came down the stairs next, appearing near the front door fully clad in a teenage mutant ninja costume. 

"What d’ya guys think?" He spun into the room, doing jazz hands and Dabi groaned, wanting to slam his head down onto the table he was sitting at. The orange band acting as a mask around Spinner's head gave away the fact that he was Michelangelo. 

"You're such a fucking dweeb," he muttered and Spinner smirked. 

"What's got his panties in a twist?"

Toga snickered. "He's too much of an emo edge lord to have fun. He wants to feel cool." Dabi rolled his eyes at the comment and silently wished he could have some of the whiskey sitting across from him innocently in the mahogany shelf. It was sitting there so still and so perfect. He felt like it was mocking him. 

Twice and Compress came down the stairs a few seconds later, followed by Shigaraki. Twice was dressed as Venom and Dabi could admit the mask was pretty cool. Compress had been excited about this day and had been talking about his costume for the past few months, putting in the most amount of effort out of the entire group. He had the most elaborate circus showman costume Dabi had ever seen, complete with an ominous mask and top hat. A single feather stuck out from the hat and Dabi felt the urge to burn it, but he was a good friend so he wouldn't. He smirked to himself at that.

Shigaraki's costume was the most bizarre out of them all so far. He had fake hands clasped at various points over his arms and a single one that doubled as a mask, exposing only one red eye to the world. Toga had helped with the make-up and it made Shigaraki look either extremely sleep deprived or as if he had a serious addiction to meth. Or both. A yellow-stained tool belt that looked like it was pulled out of his grandfather’s garage was strapped to his hips.

“What... are you?” Spinner asked after a pause. His lips curled as he stared at the pale hands.

“I’m a handyman.”

Dabi’s mouth was moving before his brain was. “Fucking no.” If Shigaraki could smile, that’s what he was doing right now. Dabi couldn’t believe this guy had a sense of humour. It was a shitty sense of humour but somehow it still existed and Dabi hated it.

Kurogiri had been patiently waiting by the door. He was dressed as the Grim Reaper and basically wore an oversized black dressing gown that was elegant enough for Morticia. A large hood covered his face, matching a pair of black gloves so none of his skin could be seen. The only piece of colour in the outfit was the silver-grey of the blade on the foam scythe.

"Alright, let's head to the train station! Choo! Choo!" Toga balanced the bat on her shoulder and skipped through the door Kurogiri held open. It was dark outside and the night air was only slightly chilly. It was fine; Dabi didn't get cold easily. He just laughed at all the people who would show up in even skimpier clothing than Toga.

»»---------------------►

The group walked away from the UA campus, all giggling and laughing aside from Bakugou. Mina did his make-up so that it looked like he had just come from a fight. Fake blood lined a large cut across his cheek and his clothes and hands looked a little muddy. The red body paint across his face and arms had faded slightly and seemed to meld into the costume.

“Who has the map?” Kaminari asked. They were at the moment blindly walking away from UA in what they hoped was the right direction. They had checked before and the house was only about fifteen minutes away so they decided to walk.

“I’ve got it!” Sero called out, his phone illuminating his face. He was wearing the Ladybug outfit to match Kaminari’s. At this point, they both had their masks over their face but it’d probably get too warm to wear them all throughout. “Oh, wait, we need to cross here.” Sero pulled the group over to a cross light.

Jiro stood near the back of the group, Kirishima by her side. She was Wednesday from the Addams Family and grey circles surrounded her eyes to make them look sunk into the pale-painted skin. Kirishima nudged her side. “Is Momo going?”

“Yeah, she left with Izuku and that lot a little bit before us so she’s probably already there.”

“So, are you gonna put on the moves?” Mina wriggled her eyebrows and the green man beeped. They all crossed as Jiro’s face turned a bright shade of pink, still visible under the pale make-up.

“We’ll see,” she quietly replied and Kaminari let out a loud “oooh”.

The house was in a suburban area and they could hear the party before they could actually see it.

“Woah.” Mina let out, her dark eyes wide. They were all starstruck. The music beat could be felt through the ground and the house was massive. Vampires, demons and a few slutty nurses all crowded around the outside of the house, some of them leaning against the door and others sitting on the brick hedge surrounding the property. Stone steps lead up to the door and it seemed like something out of an American movie. A large bottle of ketchup pushed past them, laughing as they waddled away from a closely following bottle of mustard.

“Kacchan!” Bakugou’s head snapped to the left where Midoriya was bolting towards them, arms outstretched. His green hair was extra messy and he was dressed as the Hulk, fake muscles (although they all knew he had some very real muscles hiding under there) bulging at his arms and torso. Bakugou pushed him away with a small grunt of disapproval but Midoriya didn’t seem fazed and instead turned to everyone else. “I’m so glad you’re here!”

“We’ve been so excited!” Kirishima exclaimed, his sharp teeth bared as he grinned.

Uraraka in a Batgirl costume appeared behind him, followed by Tsuyu, Iida and Momo. Momo waved at Jiro and another blush hit her cheeks. Tsuyu wore a dark green dress that came down to her knees and a matching witches’ hat sat pointed on her head. Bakugou couldn’t help but snort when he saw Iida and he could hear a few of his friends giggling next to him. Iida strode up to them, his arms crossed as he stared down at them through his black sunglasses. He wore a black sleeveless biker jacket and fake tattoos covered the length of both his arms. Small gold hoops were visible in both his ears and a red paisley-patterned bandana covered his forehead.

“Nice costume, dude.” Sero snorted. Todoroki then appeared and all of them stopped, eyes only on him.

“Icyhot… what the fuck?”

Todoroki looked down at his costume. A clear line of division ran from his hair parting all the way to his toes so everything on his left side was red and everything on his right side; white. Like this, his scar wasn’t even noticeable. “What?” he deadpanned and continued as if it was the most obvious and rational thing. “I’m the Polish flag.”

“You’re an idiot,” Bakugou immediately said.

Kiri grinned. “I like it. It’s funny.”

They all went inside, Momo slipping away to join Jiro’s side. She was in a Wonder Woman costume and Jiro thought it looked damn good on her.

»»---------------------►

“Hawks!” Rumi exclaimed, pointing very obviously at some guy in a Flash costume who was desperately trying to get out her line of sight. “What about him? He’s cute, right?” She didn’t realise it but she was practically screaming and everyone was looking at them. Luckily, as they were at a party, they all just assumed Rumi was hella drunk and ignored them both. She was drunk. Hawks could tell from the light pink flush sitting under her skin that was definitely alcohol induced. He supposed it was bad that he could recognise this from all the other times she’d gotten drunk and started setting Hawks up with random guys. He felt sorry for the guys. They had to endure getting chased down by a feral shorty and getting compliments screamed at them by said feral shorty. One time she’d made one of them cry. That guy was so scared but so flattered that he completely broke down in the middle of the street.

“Um, sure.” Hawks tried to pull Rumi away so the Flash guy could run for his life. Rumi spun around, her attention drawn by something (or really someone) else, slapping Hawks in the face with her bunny ears in the process. He spluttered as fluff caught on his tongue but Rumi was already gone, whizzing through the crowd like the true chaotic lesbian she was.

“Hawks! Hawks!” When he found her again she was bouncing up and down, her hands pressing down on someone’s shoulders, preventing them from moving away even if they wanted to. “I found him! He’s totally your type! He’s got that bad boy ‘I’m not gonna stick around past the first fuck’ vibe totally down!” She squealed, her eyes creasing with joy. The man was much taller than her but he winced in pain as her grip tightened unconsciously.

Hawks sighed. “Sorry, Iida-“ At the mention of his name, Rumi glanced up at the dark-haired man’s face, letting out an awkward squeak. It was as if she didn’t even see who it was and only saw the leather jacket and (fake) tattoos. “This is First Drink Rumi,” Hawks explained as she stepped away and Iida rubbed his shoulders. “A.k.a the worst wingman the universe has ever blessed the world with.”

“Hey!” Rumi punched Hawks’ arm and he took in a sharp breath. She was so much stronger than she looked. Actually, that was a lie. She looked pretty freaking strong.

Iida opened his mouth to say something but just ended up closing it and bobbed his head up and down awkwardly. Then he walked away. Ah, great. Hawks loved making brilliant impressions on people much taller than him and in younger years. Really helped his image.

“Ru-“ Hawks turned around but she was gone, yet again. “Flippity flip flops. Just why?” He moved through the crowd, trying to take care of the red wings attached to his back. They were a kind of cheap last minute buy because Hawks was not an organised, put-together person. The wings were under ten quid and hung limply from his shoulders by two clear strings. Eh, good enough. Rumi pushed her way out from the crowd, her open grin a shining beacon, telling him exactly where she was.

She held up two red cups triumphantly in the air. And then her eyes widened and Hawks couldn’t do anything but watch as she tripped ever so slightly on her heels and went crashing into some guy he hadn’t noticed was there. (Okay, there was a lot of people and there was a lobster man with underwear strapped over his head. He wouldn’t notice everyone.)

“Rumi!” He yelled out but the guy expertly dodged her and someone else caught her, pushing her up so she was just a giggling heap of fluffy bunny ears and long white hair. The man was wearing a long cloak-coat thing (he wasn’t exactly too sure what emo bullshit was going on but he knew from Tokoyami that this was indeed some emo bullshit) and Hawks only briefly saw his face but the sharp blue eyes were enough. He no longer needed Rumi’s unsolicited “help”. His mouth curved into a wicked grin.

“Heyyyy.” Rumi shoved a red cup at him. It was basically empty; most of it being spread out by footsteps on the floor. “So, I found this really cute guy who was in a ketchup bottle costume and I was thinking that you could go up to him and say something like ‘hey u saucy boi’ and just be, you know, really spicy-“ She stopped when she noticed that Hawks wasn’t actually listening and followed his gaze to the one guy who didn’t look like he was having a good time and was instead two seconds away from impulsively murdering everyone in the living room. Or hallway. She wasn’t exactly sure what room they were in. She just knew they were in the house. Who’s house? She wouldn’t be able to tell you.

“No.” She said as soon as she saw him. “I’m helping you find a beautiful boy who is both beautiful on the outside as well as the inside instead of finding my one true love.”

Hawks shot her a side glance. “You pushed me towards a someone covered in tattoos and wearing a mob biker outfit.”

“Yeah, but it turned out to be Iida so that’s okay.” She took the cup from his hand and downed whatever little alcohol it actually contained.

“What about the ketchup man?”

She huffed. “He was very nice.”

“Have you actually talked to him?”

“No… but he had very nice eyes.”

“Look at those!” Hawks spun Rumi around to where Emo Edge Lord was a second ago but, of course, he had disappeared. “Fuck, damn. Why does everyone keep leaving?”

“I don’t know but thanks for the depression,” someone passing by muttered and Hawks didn’t really know what to do with that.

Rumi twirled her hair from beside him, glancing off into space. “He seems like a grumpy loner. I bet he won’t even talk to you.”

Hawks squinted his eyes. “Do you even know who I was talking about?”

“No. But I know you and you, my dear, have terrible taste in men. So, I’m right.” Somehow she had a new red cup in her hand filled with something that might have looked a bit pink? Mood lighting had been turned on and a bad Halloween remix strung through the air but Rumi seemed completely into it. “Now, since you’re being a big poop and want to chase after emotionally constipated boys I’m going to dance with that girl over there!” She pointed in a vague direction behind her and shimmied off.

“They’re not always emotionally constipated!” Hawks yelled over the music and Rumi held a finger up as she retreated away, not looking once behind her. Fine then, he will show her who’s really emotionally constipated. A small grin set up on his face. Now, how to get out of this room?

»»---------------------►

Dabi hated parties. They were too loud and everyone was too stupid so when Toga tugged him into the house, dragging him through the crowd, he only wanted to shrivel up in on himself and die. Someone bumped into him, knocking him out his head and he jumped violently to the side, avoiding the mini spray of a liquid that was most definitely some form of alcohol. The girl giggled, covering her mouth with a fluffy glove, muttering a barely audible “sorry” and left, large bunny ears sticking from her head. Her costume was basically a skin-tight leotard that left nothing to the imagination and thigh-high socks. A small white pompom stuck to her butt acted as a tail. Dabi grumbled and stalked away, realising after a moment that Toga was nowhere in sight and he was alone in a crowd of rowdy teenagers.

“Fucking great,” he swore under his breath and pushed through. He wasn’t exactly the tallest person but with his demeanour, most people happily stepped out his way. That, at least, brought a small smile to his face.

»»---------------------►

“What even is that?” Sero nodded towards someone with large wings. There was an electric blue membrane between the black bones and matching black ears sat atop their head. They wore a long coat and the blue lining matching the wings could be seen every time they moved. A sleek tail swept around behind them.

Kaminari and Mina had resorted to picking out the most bizarre costumes they could find in the crowd and now the entire gang sat on some stone steps outside, watching random people go by and not so secretly judging them. So far they had seen a multitude of interesting costumes. Some of them sure were, uh, very creative.

Bakugou shot him a look and huffed, rolling his eyes. “Did you not have a fucking childhood?” he muttered and got up, disappearing back into the house, the crowd quickly swallowing him up.

Kirishima shuffled closer to fill the gap. Jiro sighed, her Wednesday make-up helping out her perfect dead inside look. “They’re Noivern Gijinka.” Sero blinked at her.

“The Pokémon,” Kaminari filled in as if it was the most obvious thing. Mina giggled, pretending she knew exactly what they were talking about and pointed at a ridiculous jellyfish lady passing by in an attempt to drag the conversation away, although she always loved to watch Sero cluelessly struggle. For some reason, it just brought her an extra sprinkle of joy.

“Well, that’s… innovative.” Uraraka plopped down next to Sero, a red cup in her hand. The liquid swished around ominously as she swung her legs, a bright smile plastered on her face. “Hellooooo.” She waved at him even though he was only a few centimetres away.

“Um, Uraraka, are you okay?” Kirishima asked, his eyebrows knitted together.

“Yes, yes! I’m peachy!” she chirped, dragging out the last word and swung an arm over Sero’s shoulders. “So, what do you think of this fine man over here?” She wiggled her eyebrows in his direction as she smiled at Kirishima. Mina tried to hide a snort from the steps in front of him and failed. Kaminari was watching with absolute delight as Sero’s face paled. “He’s a tasty chicken!” she announced, taking a sip from her cup.

Sero elbowed her and the drink spilt a little, dribbling over her chin. She pouted at him. “What are you doing?” he hissed in her ear.

“Helping you, duh.” She wiped her chin on the black sleeve of her Batgirl costume.

“Why are you calling me a chicken then?” Sero was known to be the calm one. Right now he definitely wasn’t calm.

“Well, I was going to say meat but then I didn’t want it to come off as too sexual because you don’t want to seem too thirsty and just making references to your dick-“

“Oh, my God.” Sero ran his hands over his face as Kirishima stared confusedly at them.

“-seemed to only be thirsty so I said chicken instead.” Uraraka continued, humming happily to herself as she took another sip. Sero wanted to say something, but Kirishima was right there and he really didn’t want him to get the wrong idea. It didn’t help that his two best and useless friends were currently staring off into the distance, pretending the night sky was so interesting in this given moment. Mina looked back and he caught her eye. She stuck her tongue out, her eyes somehow sparkling despite being completely black, and looked away again. His fists clenched at his side. He was going to kill them after this.

»»---------------------►

Bakugou had gone to get some drinks for him and Kiri. What he didn’t expect when he got back was Uraraka to be practically sprawled out on Sero’s left side, pushing him very much into Kirishima. And Kirishima wasn’t even wearing a shirt. Bakugou, of course, had known about Sero’s crush. In fact, he was one of the first people Uraraka told. She was so excited about it but he just wanted to make something explode. He grit his teeth and almost crumpled the cups between his fists, ready to march over there and haul Sero up by his Ladybug mask.

“Sero’s usually so chilled. It’s actually kinda sweet seeing him like this.” Tokoyami’s low voice rang out beside him. He wore a basic Count Dracula costume, the large black cape covering most of him and held his fake fangs in his hands. Sero’s face was bright red as he glared at Uraraka, who just smiled cheekily back at him. Kirishima seemed clueless next to them both and his eyes shined with worry as he watched Uraraka take another sip of her drink. Bakugou’s frown deepened. “Kirishima’s a good guy,” Tokoyami went on. “What do you think?”

Bakugou seethed and it took everything in him to not instantaneously implode. Soy Sauce Face was currently flirting around with his boyfriend. Kirishima was his boyfriend, no one else’s. Even worse, he knew how oblivious Kiri was. He had to stop this now.

“Well, it’s cute,” Tokoyami said after receiving no answer and turned away, his cape spanning out behind him like a huge dark shadow. “Happy Halloween.”

When Bakugou turned back, Sero and Uraraka were gone and Mina and Kaminari were laughing too much to even stand, never mind walk in a straight line. He stomped over to the steps and dropped next to Kirishima, handing over the cup a little too quickly to fake calmness.

“What’s wrong?” Kirishima pushed some of the hair out his eyes and adjusted the ears atop his head. Damn, he forgot about those. “Wanna leave? I know you don’t really like parties so thank you for coming along to this one. I’ve had a lot of fun, even if I think Uraraka may have had a little too much to drink.” Kirishima chuckled, his fingers not leaving Bakugou’s hair. Some of the red paint on his face has started to smear off, exposing his true skin tone underneath.

“Yeah,” he replied gruffly, his voice stiff. He checked his phone. It was late and this party was boring anyway. “Let’s leave.”

»»---------------------►

“Hey.” A guy with blonde hair pulled back by a red headband with matching demon horns grinned up at him. Dabi ignored him and turned to look at a stone on the ground. The guy pulled himself up so he was sitting on the stone hedge next to him. He had to adjust the red wings strapped to him back so he wasn’t crushing them. “So,” he started again, “what exactly are you?” Dabi gave him a cold glance out of the corner of his eye. “Your costume, I mean. You look hella cool but I can’t figure out what you are and I’ve been thinking about it for quite a while.” Hawks ran his eyes over Dabi’s face, tracing over the dark skin covering the lower half of his face, slicing halfway through his lips. Staples lined the edges, complementing the silver piercings he had littering his ears. “Are you some kind of zombie? No, maybe a goth vampire? Some guy who got mauled?” Hawks swung his legs as he guessed, his eyes squinting in concentration as he looked over Dabi’s entire outfit, gently tapping his lip. His outfit wasn’t anything special. He was mainly wearing black and Toga had found the edgiest coat she’d ever seen on sale in the charity store she worked in and practically threw it at him, threatening ‘stabby dreams’ in her creepy-ass singsong voice if he didn’t wear it. He grumbled when he got it but it was his favourite piece of clothing. Of course, he’d never tell her that.

“I’m not anything,” Dabi replied, finally facing the strange demon guy. “Toga just wanted to practice her horror make-up and, unfortunately, I was there.” His voice was dull and without tone. He wanted to seem as uninterested as possible.

“Well, the make-up’s really good! It’s totally realistic!” Hawks exclaimed, his face lighting up at the fact this guy actually was talking to him. Ha! Take that, Rumi! “Who’s Toga?” he added as an afterthought.

“Um, bat-shit crazy and is swinging an actual bat around right now.”

Hawks nodded, ignoring the strange yet cryptic description. “Right.” Dabi pushed against the stone wall and began to walk away. “No, wait!” Hawks reached out for the black jacket sleeve and somehow managed to catch it. Turquoise eyes glared into his own and Hawks swallowed down a nervous chuckle threatening to tickle his throat. “Where you going?” he finally let out. “We only just started talking.”

“I’m not interested in talking.” Dabi bit back and little puffs of breath drifted into the night air, disappearing in mesmerising swirls.

Hawks didn’t really know why he was holding onto this or why he was so interested in this guy. He’d only just met him but it’d been a while since he had met someone who he was generally intrigued about. He loved his friends and Rumi (God forbid if he ever said anything else) but he was an extrovert and he thrived on meeting new people. And, for some unknown reason, it always seemed to be the dark, secluded edgy guys he walked towards. Damn, he thought. They really were all emotionally constipated.

“Come on.” Hawks gave the sleeve a little tug and Dabi seemed to come just a little bit closer. Only a little. Only enough for him to notice. “It’s better than being back in there.” He nodded his head towards the house where thumping music radiated from.

It took a minute but Dabi finally gave in. “Fine,” he grunted and sat on the stone hedge next to him.

“So, I never actually caught your name.”

“Dabi.”

“Huh. I’m Hawks.”

Dabi snorted at that. “What kind of a fucking stupid name is ‘Hawks’?”

Hawks raised his chin defiantly. “What kind of a fucking stupid name is ‘Dabi’?” He pushed up one eyebrow, punctuating his retort.

Dabi frowned but Hawks could make out the slight upturn of the ghost of a smile. “Touché.”

Huh. Maybe having a history of emotionally constipated boyfriends was actually going to be useful for once.

»»---------------------►

Ashido and Kaminari’s sides burned from laughing. Sero had pulled Uraraka away somewhere, his face a dark beetroot red and Kami had no idea where he went but it didn’t matter. The bakusquad was notorious for their constant friendly bullying and usually, he was the butt of the joke so it was great seeing his soy sauce obsessed friend finally have a taste of his own medicine.

It had gotten to a point where it was almost midnight and even though the property was still packed with people in random costumes, there were significantly fewer people than a few hours ago.  

Maybe it was because of that or maybe it had just been a coincidence but when Kaminari walked up the stairs, the one person he couldn’t stop thinking about (or embarrassing himself in front of either – oh geez every rehearsal where Shinsou was there popped into his head) stood right opposite him. He froze. Shinsou’s lavender eyes stared back.

“Hey, Kaminari.” Shinsou stepped down so they were only one step apart. He was wearing an extravagant hat that reminded Denki suspiciously of the Mad Hatter but the entire colour scheme was wrong. It was more like a goth version of the Mad Hatter as everything was either black, grey or a muted purple. He had black fingerless fishnet gloves on his hands and his mouth pulled into a smug grin. “You look cute.” He playfully tapped one of the ears on Kaminari’s head, making his eyes widen as he not so subtly forgot how to breathe. Someone snorted and he could tell it was Mina but where did she go? He suddenly felt sorry for Sero. How come Mina never got embarrassed?

“Uh, uh, t-thanks yes.” Kaminari felt so dumb after the words hit the air. He could feel his face heat up which was now becoming a routine every time Shinsou was around. Mina giggled from somewhere in the background. Either Shinsou didn’t notice it or was just ignoring it. That was probably becoming a routine for him too. “You are… spicy.” He wanted to bang his head against the wall.

Shinsou’s eyebrows raised but then he chuckled. “See you later, kitty.” He walked past him, disappearing down the stairs.

“Damn, that was hilarious.” Mina was suddenly by his side again. “No matter how many times it happens it’s still the highlight of my day. And did you see that? Shinsou was flirting with you, no matter how short and brief it was.”

“No.” That last sentence brought Kami back from the depths of his mind and the temporary paralysis.

“Mmhmm. Maybe the embarrass yourself until they’re immune technique works.”

Kaminari turned to look at her. “He was flirting with me?”

“Oh, my God, you’re hopeless.”

“Oh God.” Kaminari ran a hand over his face. “I said thanks yes in reply!”

“Yes, you did do that.” They were both just standing in the middle of the staircase as Kami had a mini-meltdown.

“Oh, my God.” He let out once again. “He was wearing eyeshadow and I told him he was spicy! Spicy! Mina, kill me now!”

»»---------------------►

Oh, my God, Shinsou thought to himself. Denki Kaminari just called him spicy. He rushed down the stairs, trying to seem as calm and cool as possible while trying not to instantaneously combust when Todoroki almost bumped into him. He was about to glare when he saw the scarred eyes only a man of war could have.

“D-don’t go into that room,” was the only thing the heterochromatic boy said before stumbling away.

“U-um, okay.”

»»---------------------►

“Toga, stop moving!”

“But where’s Dabi? We can’t take a group picture without him!” She jumped up and down like a petulant child, pouting at the camera with her arms crossed. The bat hung limply in her hands.

Shigaraki grinned. “Yes, we can and we are.” He turned to Spinner. “Now take the fucking picture already. I want to get out of this hellhole.”

Jin giggled but then straightened up again. “Toga’s right. We need to get that grumpy old man over here.” He then collapsed into giggling again. Drunk Twice was weird. Shigaraki sighed and collapsed onto a nearby couch arm. “Dramatic,” Twice singsonged under his breath and Shigaraki kicked his shin. “Hey! Ouch!” He turned to Kurogiri.

 No one could see his face but they could all feel the power radiating from the eye roll. “Children, please.”

Shigaraki let out another dramatic sigh. People were avoiding him. He looked pretty weird, half draped over the messy sofa with a million hands stuck over his face and arms. Everyone else had normal costumes. Well, mostly everyone. “Fucking fine. But if you don’t come back in two minutes, I’m leaving. With or without you.” Toga’s face broke out into a cheek-splitting grin. Even with all the blood and gruesome make-up, she still looked beautiful.

“Of course, of course!” She hummed as she skipped away, the bat sitting on the nape of her neck, held in place by her arms. Shigaraki grumbled as Twice threw himself onto the sofa next to him, the smile from Toga contagious. A minute later, he got a text.

League of Villains

Saturday 0 0 : 1 4

stabbystabby: GUYS

stabbystabby: DABI MADE A FRIEND!!!!!

shiggy: great now tell him to get his ass over here

twice: r u sure that’s dabi? It doesn’t sound like him…

stabbystabby: oh wait

stabbystabby: omg omg ok not a friend definitely NOT A FRIEND

spinner: is he killing someone

spinner: bc honestly bro same

twice: im sorry what

compress the depression sent (1) image

compress the depression: there toga now u can see kuro’s confused yet disappointed parent face

twice: I cant c anything

compress the depression: exactly

spinner: god ur dumb

shiggy: what’s taking so long where r u

stabbystabby sent (1) image

stabbystabby: that’s what’s taking so long

shiggy: disgusting

shiggy: ew

shiggy: revolting

stabbystabby sent (1) video

shiggy: STOP I DON’T WANT TO SEE DABI MAKING OUT WITH SOME BIRD MAN

twice: I think he’s a demon actually he has red horns

shiggy: DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER

stabbystabby: hold on lemme see if I can get closer I cant get very good pictures

spinner: yeah they’re kinda blurry

kurokillme: can I just say this is a bad idea

twice: yes

twice: ur point is valid

twice: but we don’t care

stabbystabby sent (3) images

shiggy: STOP BEING A FUCKING CREEPY STALKER

kurokillme: yes this is behaviour of that of a creep

spinner: mmhmm

spinner: toga keep going ur the one doing this not me so I wont get in trouble

spinner: :)

compress the depression: that… is some flawed logic

compress the depression: keep going I want to see spinner die

kurokillme: can I die yet

twice: nope

stabbystabby: they’re just full on making out now

stabbystabby: like theyre practically eating each other’s faces

stabbystabby sent (1) image

shiggy: OMG STOP

shiggy: I WILL FUCKING STRANGLE U WITH ALL MY EXTRA HANDS

spinner: ooh kinkky

kurokillme: u all make me want to cry

twice: the image quality is much better

twice: did u sign up to that photography course?

stabbystabby: nah im doing the makeup one but they teach u some photography skills which is useful

shiggy: that’s it im leaving fucking bye

stabbystabby: … is he actually leaving?

kurokillme: no hes still lying on the couch

kurokillme: oh now he’s leaving

stabbystabby: what to do what to do

stabbystabby: I don’t want to interrupt dabi bc this is great finally he hopefully will stop being such a grandpa

spinner: its also way to awkward to stop… all that

stabbystabby: true

twice: HEY LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL

compress the depression: that isn’t love

compress the depression: that’s one step away from cannibalism

twice: :0

kurokillme: hurry up I can only stall shiggy for so long

stabbystabby: eh fuck it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ dabi can find his own way home

spinner: who knows maybe birdman can give him a ride ;)))

kurokillme: oh god

twice: ok I appreciate the innuendo BUT HES A FUCKING DEVIL NOT BIRD HE HAS HORNS!!!!!

twice: hehe one could say hes… horny

spinner: bro that’s even better

compress the depression: why r u like this

compress the depression: I have lost all respect for u too 

spinner: u just admitted u had respect for us in the first place

twice: HAHAHAHAHA

compress the depression: fuck

kurokillme: toga where r u

kurokillme: toga is that you

kurokillme: toga why

»»---------------------►

Uraraka was a stumbling weight against his shoulder as Sero lugged her through the house. His face was still a bright red and he was a little out of breath, whether it was from embarrassment or just not being as physically fit as he would like to think was something he didn’t want to think about. He’d called Iida to find out where he could drop Uraraka off but the music was so loud that he could barely make out what Iida was saying. He could just guess he was somewhere on the ground floor, maybe the living room. So that was where he was headed.

Uraraka had already pulled away a few times, distracted by someone’s shiny headpiece (or for the case of Aoyama just his entire self). He was glad that Mina never turned like this when she was drunk. Mina just became more of a little shit. So, Sero wasn’t surprised when Uraraka dashed off again. He was, however, when he found her screaming at a snickering Harley Quinn, who was balancing a bat almost tauntingly across her shoulders.

“Oh, look, it’s Racing Bitch,” Harley Quinn girl said in an overly-sweet voice. It was so sweet it sounded rotten. “And is this Racing Bitch’s boyfriend?” Her eyes scanned over him and she smirked at the black spots of his Ladybird costume. He was even wearing a blue wig because he didn’t have blue hair. Kaminari was scarily into it.

Uraraka scoffed and stumbled closer to her. “Urgh, you make me so angry! Where’s your personal group of servants? Out tripping other people up?”

Sero glanced between the two. Harley Quinn girl was still smiling and what look like amusement crinkled at the corners of her eyes. Uraraka was livid but honestly, she looked a bit comical in her Batgirl costume, not to mention that speaking so fast already had her slightly out of breath and she wasn’t the most stable on her feet. “Uraraka, I’m confused,” Sero sang under his breath. He thought she might have been doing something dumb and was very much ready to embarrassingly apologise while not really caring but then Harley Quinn girl replied. And now he just stood watching them, the rest of the room staring as well. He had no idea what to do.

He quickly texted Iida.

Harley Quinn girl laughed but it sounded mocking. She took a few steps forward as well and moved the bat from her shoulders so it casually swung around. “Oh, please. Like I need them to deal with someone as measly as you.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Sero noticed some guy elbow a dude with dark hair. “Hey, Shinto,” they whispered but he could still hear them. The music had been turned down and he was pretty sure most of the room could. “Should we stop this?”

“Nah, this’ll be fun to watch.”

The other guy looked slightly worried but eventually shrugged as well. “Okay,” he said, reaching for a red plastic cup.

Uraraka frowned. “So, not only are you a bitch but you’re also a slut.” She gestured to the skimpy shorts.

The bat swung forward, not aiming to hit Uraraka but sliding just close enough. “I’m just comfortable in my own skin.” She smiled and tilted her head. Sero wondered where Iida was. Or really anyone from UA.

Mineta squealed from the doorway, his eyes practically glowing in delight. He was wearing a loose toga and nothing else. Tiny white wings were strapped to his back and he had a small white bow in his hand, coupled with an arrow with an obscene image on it. Oh God, no, Sero thought.

“BITCH FIGHT!” Mineta hollered, punching the air with his bow and arrow.

At that moment, Uraraka let out something that could be close to a scream and lunged forward, arms outstretched but Harley Quinn girl dodged her easily. It was as if she was on ice and just slid around the room, laughing at every frustrated attempt Uraraka made. Sero rushed forward but he didn’t really know what to do.

“STOP!” Iida’s face appeared at the doorway, dark eyebrows creased. He towered over almost everyone.

Midoriya rushed out from behind him, green hair a mess and instantly was by Uraraka’s side. Words spilt out of his mouth as he fussed over her. “Oh, my God, are you okay? What happened? You disappeared and then the next thing we know Sero was texting us and then we were here but why did you leave? How drunk are you? Are you hurt?”

Uraraka huffed, her eyes still squinted at Harley Quinn girl, who was still smiling. How was her face not broken yet? “Racing Bitch! I didn’t know you had such cute friends!” She winked at Midoriya who turned three shades of red at once.

“Urgh, you’re disgusting.”

“Toga!” A guy in a showman’s costume called and Harley Quinn girl lifted her head to listen to him. “Fight people later, we’re leaving now.”

“Fine, fine, fine.” She started skipping towards him but not before booping Midoriya on the nose.

“Wait!” Mineta screamed, running after her and the rest of the room went back to whatever it was they were doing. Most of them were starting to leave but the music went back on anyway.

“Fucking disappointing,” he heard the Shinto guy grumble.

Iida pulled them both towards him. “Thank you for looking after Uraraka while we weren’t here, Sero.”

“Oh, I really didn’t do anything. Thanks for stopping this.” Iida gave him a quick nod and proceeded to drag Midoriya and Uraraka away.

From the doorway, Todoroki let out a low whistle once he saw Uraraka. “Damn boi, you droonk.”

“So are youuuuuu.” Sero wondered what the dekusquad were doing that ended up with them all (aside from Iida) like this.

“Sero!” Kaminari and Mina rushed towards him from some unknown place. “We heard there was a fight! Are you okay?”

Sero nodded. “It wasn’t really a fight and I wasn’t involved.” He glanced around. “Where’s Kiri and Baku?”

Kaminari shrugged. “Dunno, can’t find ‘em. I think they left.”

Mina’s eyebrows wiggled. “Yeah, they left.”

Sero pushed her face away. “We should leave. It’s, like, half midnight or something.”

Kaminari checked his phone and his eyes widened. “Damn, bro. That was actually really close!”

“Whatever,” Mina muttered. “But I don’t really want to go back to the dorms yet.” She chewed her bottom lip as she squinted at the ceiling. “I wonder what to do…”

“Hmm…” Kaminari struck a thoughtful pose as well.

Sero sighed. “Do you want to go to McDonald’s?”

“YES!” They both screamed in unison and then ran out the house.

“Wait for me! It’s not like any of you’ll pay anyway…”

»»---------------------►

“Fucking finally!” Shigaraki collapsed over the stone hedge outside the house when he saw Compress and Toga walk down the steps. He ran his hands over his hand-covered face.

“What happened?” Kurogiri was the first to ask, his natural mother instinct kicking in.

“Well, this one,” Compress jabbed a thumb at Toga and she stuck her tongue out in retaliation, true kindergarten style, “decided to get in a fight.”

“Did you win?” Twice excitedly looked at her.

She whined. “It wasn’t really a fight. This try-hard nerd in a gang person’s costume stopped it before I could even actually hit her.”

“Oof.” Spinner patted her shoulder. “That sucks.”

Kurogiri sighed. “Let’s just leave. My house is nearby so you can all crash there. You all ruin my life consistently anyway so I’m sure my parents won’t mind.”

Twice punched the air. “Yes! Free food! Your parents are such good cooks!” Kurogiri sighed again.

“Toga!” A small boy with hideous purple hair that looked like purple balls grouped together like a bunch of grapes ran towards them. His eyes were wide and frantic and there was a mix of something else in there that none of the group could quite decipher. “Is your name Toga?” He was out of breath and Toga was frozen.

“Yes?” she replied, confused.

A smile scarier than Toga’s spread across the boy’s face. “Oh? Well then, what do you think of my costume?” he gestured down to the white fabric draped across him with the arrow in his hand. “While this toga looks amazing on me, I’m sure the real one would look much better.” He winked and Toga’s lips curled as she grimaced.

“Ew.”

“Hey.” Dabi jogged up next to them and pushed the purple boy away with a hand to his face without a second thought. “We leaving?”

Twice’s eyebrows quirked up. “Yeah, we would have told you sooner but you were a bit busy.”

Dabi scowled. “Fuck off.” They started walking when Dabi felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Pulling it out, he saw a message from an unknown number. The only thing it said was a devil emoji. He smirked and saved the number as Chicken Legs. He then saw that he had a bunch of other notifications. “Toga, you little shit!”

Chapter Text

shinsomniac > todoloki  

Saturday 0 0 : 4 2

shinsomniac: I should have listened to you

Saturday 1 2 : 3 1

todoloki: what 

shinsomniac: u were right

todoloki: im v lost…

shinsomniac: @ the party u said don’t go in the room

todoloki: YOU WENT IN THE ROOM?

todoloki: WHY?

shinsomniac: I was curious

shinsomniac: u said don’t go in the room so I went in

todoloki: …

shinsomniac: tbh it wasn’t that bad, it wasn’t like they were doing anything particularly scandalous

todoloki: have u got the speech yet

shinsomniac: what speech

todoloki: the bakugou screaming while kiri smiles at you scarily while still managing to look friendly speech

shinsomniac: no?

todoloki: so he does hate me… that bastard

shinsomniac: they didn’t c me if that’s what ur asking

todoloki: oh

todoloki: how

shinsomniac: u saw them, they were a bit preoccupied

todoloki: but they saw me

shinsomniac: yes

shinsomniac: congratulations on figuring that out

todoloki: urgh

todoloki: that bastard

shinsomniac: so what do we do with this information

todoloki: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

todoloki: I cant do anything otherwise my face will be 'more deformed than a monkey’s bum'

shinsomniac: are monkey’s bums deformed?

todoloki: I dont think so 

todoloki: hold on lemme google

shinsomniac: NO 

todoloki: chilli, im looking at monkey pictures nothing else

shinsomniac: yeah still uncomfortable 

todoloki: well the only thing ive learned from this is there are many types of monkey bottoms

todoloki: and they’re not particularly appealing but hey I found one that looks like bakugou

shinsomniac: pls stop talking

todoloki: well bakugou and Kirishima are together so that’s one theory proved correct

todoloki: if only I could tell Midoriya

todoloki: then I could get my money

shinsomniac: im sorry theories? what

todoloki: unimportant

shinsomniac: ok then

shinsomniac: so question

shinsomniac: what does it mean if someone calls you spicy?

todoloki: someone called you… spicy?

shinsomniac: yes

shinsomniac: do u think it means anything

shinsomniac: like do you think it could be flirting or just a joke

todoloki: what

ya bois listen to yer daddy

Saturday 1 2 : 4 6

todoloki: what does it mean if someone calls you spicy

izookoo: why is this the question I wake up to

League of Villains

Saturday 1 6 : 5 6

twice: I was scrolling through the chat

twice: and did anyone notice that in all the pictures toga took at the party yesterday there is a ketchup man dabbing in the background

spinner: huh oh yeah there is

daboi: it was technically this morning

daboi: also do u have no life that this is what u do in ur free time

stabbystabby: ignore dabi he’s just grumpy bc that birdman keeps texting him bird memes and he refuses to reply but he wants to chat

shiggy: that’s the dumbest thing Ive ever heard and I deal with u lot on a daily basis

shiggy: and I hate that ketchup man what is he 12

daboi: well hey at least he’s older than u

shiggy: fuck u

daboi: no thanks I have a man now

stabbystabby: then text him u dumb asshole!

spinner: hes the biggest fucking emo edge lord did u forget

twice: emotional constipation is part of the job description

daboi: I hate u all

daboi: what do I say

twice: aha here’s the real dilemma

daboi: im surprised u know words like dilemma

spinner: im surprised u can spell dilemma

twice: spinner? my bro? why?

spinner: bullying u is fun :)

stabbystabby: ay get some boi

kurokillme: stop bullying one another and bully dabi whos having boy troubles

daboi: who has kurogiri’s phone

kurokillme: this is me

daboi: I don’t believe u

compress the depression sent (1) image

daboi: how dare

stabbystabby: stop talking and text birdboy

twice: IT WAS A DEMON COSTUME

daboi: well his name is hawks so I kinda have to give toga this one

shiggy: u have shit taste in men

stabbystabby: TEXT HIM BEFORE I SPOON UR EYES OUT

daboi: ok ok

daboi > BirdBoi

Saturday 1 7 : 1 2

daboi: stop sending me fckn bird memes

League of Villains

Saturday 1 7 : 1 3

daboi sent (1) image

shiggy: ur fucking useless

stabbystabby: that’s it im coming to find you

twice: rip dabi

spinner: rip

spinner changed the group name to stabbystabby killing dabbydabby

compress the depression: i am the only brain cell left in this gc

Chapter Text

Class 5A

Sunday 0 8 : 1 2

aoyamaman?: bonjour mes cheries! how are you all doing this fine fine morning

Die: fuck off you overgrown baguette

aoyamaman?: you haven’t seen my baguette, unless that is what you’re asking for? ;)

izookoo: damn aoyama is feeling B O L D this morning

aoyamaman?: darling im always feeling bold

aoyamaman?: im here to ask for the pictures from the party

aoyamaman?: ik there were some stunning ones of me taken

hagakurara: oh yes! I got some!

hagakurara sent (4) images

Ojiyes: wow you guys look great

Ojiyes: your costume is so pretty!!

aoyamaman?: aw thank you!

tokosalami: he was talking to hagakure but ok

todoloki: lol burn

hagakurara: oh thank you!!!

hagakurara: I added extra bits to my costume to make it extra jazzy!

Ojiyes: ur welcome!

Ojiyes: and aoyama u looked great as well… very sparkly

earphonejack: can someone please tell me what aoyama was bc I still can’t figure it out

yaomomo: thank god I was feeling bad bc I couldn’t figure it out either

yaomomo: although u guys look stunning!

Alien Queen: im so jealous aoyama how did u walk in those heels they’re like skyscrapers but on ur feet

aoyamaman?: practice darling!

aoyamaman?: and I was the dazzling Lady GaGa

aoyamaman?: it was inspired by this look!

aoyamaman? sent (1) image

serolater: damn boi

meshoji: ngl it is weird coming on here and not seeing destruction and chaos

Satonic: ikr im getting civilised, normal gc vibes

Satonic: it’s spooky

calamari: welp time to change that

calamari: aoyama, hagakure u both look beautiful but now please post ur pictures on instagram

meshoji: oh no what have we done

Satonic: we messed up

calamari: yes, yes u did

calamari: NOW BAKUSQUAD ASSEMBLE

Die: we’re not the fucking avengers

serolater: soz my bad we binged all the avenger movies last night and we haven’t slept at all

calamari: PAHAHAHA SLEEP IS FOR THE WEEEEK THANOS SISTER SNAPPED IT ALL AWAY

Iida Tenya: sleep is important!

yaomomo: I just really want to fix that spelling mistake its just so so painful

Red Riot: he did it on purpose

Red Riot: I think

todoloki: *you hope

serolater: he didn’t do it on purpose

serolater: *exasperated sigh*

earphonejack: he’s fallen silent where is that chaotic pikachu

Die: the moron just ran past my room

Die: I can tell bc the sheer dumbassery drifts through the corridors

Alien Queen: where’s he going?

serolater: OH CRAP IK WHERE

serolater: I MADE A JOKE ABOUT SHINSOU’S COFFEE

Alien Queen: OH NO THAT’S THE LAST THING HE NEEDS

earphonejack: omg hes so dumb

izookoo: but kami doesn’t like coffee?

serolater: GOTTA GO FAST

Alien Queen: C U LOSERS

earphonejack: bye bye warmth of bed

Red Riot: baku u coming?

Die: NO HE CAN TAKE CARE OF HIS OWN FUCKING PROBLEMS

Die: FUCKING FINE DON’T BREAK DOWN MY FUCKING DOOR

Ojiyes: whats the point in yelling and typing it?

Iida Tenya: Be careful! Don’t run in the corridors!

izookoo: what just happened?

todoloki: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

tokosalami: darkness is taking over the world

SueYou: well I woke up for no reason

“Oh, my God, where’d he go?” Ashido Mina glanced left and right, her pink hair flailing around her as she tried to figure out which building he went in. Sero and Jirou were by her side and the chilly November air hit their skin. Two buildings sat either side of their dorm building. She didn’t know which one Shinsou was in.

“Maybe this one?” Sero randomly chose the left building and prayed.

“Shall I check the other one?” Jirou asked, heading off in the opposite direction.

“We’ll come with you!” Kirishima exclaimed as he and Bakugou appeared behind them. They split up and Mina hurried behind Sero as he pushed the building door open. They entered the common room and suddenly ten faces were on theirs. Mina knew they were in the same year but she didn’t know who any of them were. At that, she felt a little guilty but now was not the time for guilt.

“Hi,” Sero started off, breaking the rather awkward silence that had begun to settle. “We’re looking for Shinsou Hitoshi. Is this his dorm building?”

A girl with bright pink hair and some strange goggles nodded. “His dorm room is on the second floor.”

“Awesome, thanks.” Sero grabbed her arm and they both ran up the stairs. Sero had long legs and easily jumped them three at a time, leaving Mina to feel like a measly noob as she struggled to keep up, taking them only two at a time. They stopped at the entrance of the stairs on the second floor when they heard voices, both hiding behind the corner of the pale wall. Sero pulled out his phone. “I’ll text Kiri.”

A few moments later, a group of three burst into the common room. “Second floor,” the pink-haired girl repeated with a sigh.

“Thanks, Hatsume!” Jirou called out as Kiri flashed her a sharp-toothed grin and the trio disappeared into the staircase.

“Who were they?” someone asked from the sofa.

Hatsume glanced at him and adjusted the goggles on her head. “The Bakusquad.”

“Why did they look like someone was going to die?” someone else asked.

She shrugged in reply. “Eh, maybe Shinsou did something.”

“Poor guy.”

“Poor guy indeed.”

The entire room went back to chilling on their Sunday morning. It was eight in the morning. No one had the energy for this shit.

Mina felt something tap her shoulder and she almost screamed when she turned around to find Bakugou’s grumpy old man face literally a centimetre away. “Move!” he whisper-screamed. “I want to see, shitheads!” She and Sero adjusted how they were standing so all of them could peer around the corner. Jirou had given up trying to find a space and laid on the floor, pulling out her phone so she could video the whole thing and create what she liked to call ‘mementos’.

The five watched curiously as Kaminari and Shinsou stood, staring at each other, both not moving or saying a word. Shinsou stood in his doorframe, clutching a steaming cup of what everyone could only presume was coffee but it seemed as though he had forgotten about its existence.

Bakugou’s eyebrows knitted together and his face quickly formed a scowl. “What are they doing?” he hissed.

“I… don’t know.” Sero was the only one to reply, his own face pinched together in confusion. “They’ve been like this ever since we got here.”

Mina was about to say something when Kaminari’s voice made its debut. It rang through the halls and all of them jumped. “HEY TOSHI!” Shinsou’s eyes only seemed to widen as he brought the cup to his lips.

“Hey, Kaminari. What are you doing here?” he asked in his staple monotone voice.

Denki shrugged. “Nothing much, just wanted to see my favourite person.” At this Shinsou almost choked on his coffee. Kaminari couldn’t keep still which wasn’t unusual but what was unusual was how wide his eyes were.

“U-um, Kami, are you okay?”

Mina poked Sero’s shoulder. “Were you guys smoking?”

“No!” he hissed back, almost swatting her face as his eyebrows stretched towards his hairline. “We’ve never done anything like that! We just watched movies!” She squinted her eyes at him. “I swear!” Kiri shushed them as Kaminari started to speak again.

“Yes, I’m fine! I just took a page out of your book and didn’t sleep the entire night!” He grinned as he said this, despite his hands and legs practically buzzing underneath and around him.

Shinsou glanced at him warily. “Right. You should probably get some sleep then.”

“Sure, but only because you said so.” Denki winked then and Shinsou definitely choked on his coffee this time. Kaminari reached his hands out, taking the mug from Shinsou’s fingers and brought it to his lips. After a sip, he placed the mug back and booped Shinsou’s nose. “See ya later, Mr Sexy!”

“Oh, my God,” Mina groaned and buried her face in Sero’s shoulder. The rest of the gang couldn’t take their eyes away. Even Bakugou’s mouth was hanging open.

Shinsou cheeks turned red and he couldn’t do anything, even as the blonde boy skipped away, humming happily to himself. All he could do was stand stupidly at his door, still holding his coffee mug and feeling like he may drop it at any second.

“Hurry! Hurry!” Jirou scrambled from her spot on the floor, shooing the rest of the group away as Kaminari neared the staircase. They stumbled down, ignoring the stares from the common room as they pushed their way through the door. The cold air slapped their faces but none of them cared as they ran back to their own dorm building, throwing themselves onto the sofa (almost crushing Hagakure who was lounging there but none of them had spotted her in their chaotic frenzy) and tried to act as nonchalant as possible.

Kaminari waltzed out of Shinsou’s building and made his way back to his own, the thoughts inside his head running like a high-speed train with a million donkeys partying on it. His body didn’t seem to get the memo as he waved at everyone in the common room calmly before heading up to his dorm. Only then did he flop down face first on his bed and let out a scream his entire class could hear, despite the bedding muffling the majority of it.

Hatsume blinked at the door from where she was sitting on one of the sofas.

“I’m glad I’m not in 5A,” someone said from around her. “Should someone check if we need to move Shinsou’s corpse? They weren’t dragging a body…”

shinsomniac > todoloki

Sunday 0 8 : 4 7

shinsomniac: I have a problem

todoloki: I have many problems join the club

shinsomniac: I am gay

shinsomniac: very very gay

todoloki: cool

shinsomniac: I am gay for Kaminari

todoloki: oh ok

todoloki: why

shinsomniac: I ask myself that too

shinsomniac: what do u do if someone probably smoked weed, drinks ur coffee and then boops ur nose

shinsomniac: and then calls u mr sexy

shinsomniac: do u think this relates to the spicy thing

todoloki: i am so confused

todoloki: i am going to connect u to mother raraka and father iida

ya bois listen to yer daddy

Sunday 0 8 : 5 4

todoloki added shinsomniac to ya bois listen to yer daddy

uravity: I never thought that it would be Todoroki expanding the dekusquad

SueYou: same I thought he’d stay the introvert loner but nice to know he’s making friends :)

izookoo: hey Shinsou! welcome to the squad!

Iida Tenya: Welcome to the Dekusquad!

shinsomniac: I never thought I’d be here but this is happening ok

todoloki: shinsou has some issues

todoloki: since its more my forte for having issues and not solving them im handing this over to you

shinsomniac: ok we all just ignoring that cuz that’s totally normal ok

izookoo: we have monthly breakdown sessions ur welcome to join us

SueYou: the ice creams’s rlly good

uravity: stop scaring him

uravity: anyway child what is it spill

shinsomniac: ok so um I am gay

shinsomniac: v v gay

shinsomniac: and its killing me

uravity: its Kaminari isn’t it

shinsomniac: howd u know am I that obvious

uravity: well from rehearsals yes but hes worse so don’t worry

uravity: also he just ran off and the entire Bakusquad went after him and they said something about ur coffee

shinsomniac: he just drank my coffee like straight from my cup

shinsomniac: he just took my cup and went schloop

shinsomniac: wait the entire bakuquad was there?

shinsomniac: oh fuck they just heard him call me mr sexy

izookoo: he said what now

todoloki: Kaminari also smokes weed

Iida Tenya: WHAT

shinsomniac: oh no no no no that was a joke

shinsomniac: I think

SueYou: too late he’s gone

uravity: say goodbye to ur boyfriend before u even really got together

shinsomniac: Todoroki u were meant to help me

todoloki: I told u having issues is more my forte than solving issues

shinsomniac: U NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT CREATING ISSUES

todoloki: …oops?

Hatsume watched as Shinsou came barrelling down the stairs and crashed through the doors, allowing a strong draft to blow into the common room.

“Huh, looks like Shinsou did survive after all.”

Chapter Text

School Show Crew

Monday 0 3 : 2 1

BirdBoi: kami hmu w the goods ;)

Monday 0 6 : 01

Sen Kaibara: there’s so many things wrong with that message

Sen Kaibara: like so so many

Sen Kaibara changed their username to Spiralling To Death

Monday 0 6 : 3 4

Iida Tenya: HAWKS DOES DRUGS TOO????

Iida Tenya: DOES UA HAVE A DRUG PROBLEM??

shinsomniac: kami doesnt do drugs

shinsomniac: hawks seems high all the time so its plausible

Iida Tenya: WHAT

uravity: shinsou dear u need to stop joking

uravity: father iida cannot take it

ItsKendo: sen why’d u change ur username

ItsKendo: its an improvement but just wondering why

Spiralling To Death: someone told me it reminded them of iida

Spiralling To Death: so I decided to change it to my current life status

Suneater: valid

Suneater: on both things

ijusthado: its 6 in the morning no depresso espresso

Suneater: time is relative we’re all going to die anyway

lemillion: damn boi

Monday 0 7 : 2 2

HatsToMe: so what happened to iida

HatsToMe: is this a school of drug addicts or what

hagakurara: the dekusquad quelled his frantic teacher mind

hagakurara: also shinsou is now part of the dekusquad like when did this happen

HatsToMe: oh so that was why the Bakusquad was there

HatsToMe: damn how do u get two squads chasing after you

HatsToMe: maybe I need to do another exhibition for my babies

bugsbunny: im sorry what

bugsbunny: also hawks do we need to have a Talk

bugsbunny: @BirdBoi

bugsbunny: ur never more than 5 metres away from ur phone don’t ignore me bitch

bugsbunny: I bet he crashed

bugsbunny: yup just found him he’s asleep on the floor

bugsbunny sent (1) image

hagakurara: whys he on the floor

HatsToMe: hes weird enough why are u even asking that question

hagakurara: true

hagakurara: OH CHEESY CUPCAKES I JUST REMEMBERED I HAVE MATHS HOMEWORK

Die: JUST SWEAR LIKE A NORMAL PERSON

Die: WHAT IS WITH ALL THIS CHEESY CUPCAKE BULLSHIT

Die: WHAT MONSTROSITY EVEN IS CHEESY CUPCAKES

Red Riot sent (3) images

Die: THOSE ARE MY ANSWERS U FUCK

hagakurara: THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!

Red Riot: np bro :)

BirdBoi > bugsbunny

Monday 0 9 : 1 2

BirdBoi: thanks for picking me up off the floor

bugsbunny: why were u even awake so early

bugsbunny: u know its bad for ur health

bugsbunny: AM I GOING TO HAVE TO PUT UP PICTURES OF MY EYES AS UR WALLPAPER SO U GO TO SLEEP

BirdBoi: wtf oh god pls dont

BirdBoi: I don’t want to wake up to ur beady eyes every morning

bugsbunny: THEN FUCKING SLEEP DUMBASS

BirdBoi: holy mother of llamas I just wanted to say thank you and now im getting aTTACKED

bugsbunny: good

bugsbunny: anyway

bugsbunny: whos Hot Stuff ;)

BirdBoi: U WENT THROUGH MY PHONE??

bugsbunny: duh yes

bugsbunny: besides he texted u

bugsbunny: WAIT IS THIS WHY U DON’T SEND ME BIRD MEMES ANYMORE

BirdBoi: asoihfoeih

BirdBoi: STOP EXPOSING ME

BirdBoi: that text was 2 days ago tho

bugsbunny: yeah and one of the only things hes actually said to you

bugsbunny: check ur phone he said hey at like a ridiculous time this morning

bugsbunny: nice to know ur both unhealthy terrible sleepers

BirdBoi: WAIT HE TEXTED ME HEY???

bugsbunny: WAIT DON’T LEAVE U NEVER TOLD ME WHO IT WAS

bugsbunny: I need to know whos face to pummel in

BirdBoi: no no no no no

BirdBoi: no breaking faces at this school

BirdBoi: but do u remember emo edge lord from the party

bugsbunny: ngl I barely remember anything from that party

BirdBoi: do u remember saying to me that that guy will never talk to me bc hes so emotionally constipated

bugsbunny: oh yes I remember this convo

bugsbunny: WAIT ITS EMO EDGE LORD EMOTIONAL CONSTIPATED ASS??

BirdBoi: yeeees!

bugsbunny: LE GASP IS HE THE ONE WHO GAVE U ALL THOSE HICKEYS

BirdBoi: YEEEESSS!

bugsbunny: damn once again im the lonely single gay best friend

BirdBoi: were both gay and single

bugsbunny: bruh ur basically not single

BirdBoi: really?

bugsbunny: ya now stop texting me and actually listen in class

BirdBoi: shut up ur doing the same

bugsbunny: actually I have a free period ;)

BirdBoi: :0

bugsbunny: now fill ur brain w knowledge young paladin

BirdBoi: aye aye captain

bugsbunny: ur just gonna text emo ass aren’t u

BirdBoi: yup!

BirdBoi > daboi

Monday 0 9 : 3 7

BirdBoi: hey ;)

BirdBoi: were up all night thinking bout me?

stabbystabby killing dabbydabby

Monday 0 9 : 4 0

daboi: fuck he texted me

daboi: how come this is the one time ur all actually listening in class

daboi: fuck you all

daboi: I knew texting him last night was a mistake

daboi: toga where the fuck are u

stabbystabby: jesus im here im here quell ur gay panic

daboi: FUCKING NO

stabbystabby: just text him back

daboi: ITS HARD

stabbystabby: whatd he say

daboi sent (1) image

daboi: wait now he knows ive seen the message fuck

stabbystabby: :)

daboi: u little shit

Chapter Text

School was over and that was Sero’s favourite part of the day. He was making himself some tea in the kitchen, wondering if he should bring some up for Mina as well because he knew she liked this kind of tea. It was a simple ginger and lemon one but it was so soothing.

Uraraka skipped in, a bubbly smile lighting up her rosy face when she saw him. Hagakure pranced in after her, her arms swaying by her sides. “Hey,” Sero greeted them, nodding his head as he poured hot water into two cups.

Uraraka and Hagakure both grinned deviously. Sero blinked at them in confusion as they stood either side of him. “So,” Uraraka started, her eyes wide. “I kind of made a mess of things at the Halloween party but I’m here to make things up!”

“And I’m here to help because it’s so cute and, to be honest, you need all the help you can get!” Hagakure exclaimed, throwing her arms around his shoulder to give him a small hug.

Sero’s eyebrows wrinkled as she glanced between the two of them. “What are you talking about?”

Hagakure smirked. “Oh, you don’t need to play coy with us!” She leaned in closer to whisper in his ear. “We’re gonna help you with your crush of course!”

His eyes widened as his mind went to a certain bubble-gum pink-haired girl who’s personality was bright enough to rival the Sun. How did they know? Was he too obvious? Oh, damn, he knew he was too obvious. Panic started to creep in before turning into a full, rushing river, complete with whitewash splashing onto the banks as worries flooded his mind. If they knew then who else did? What if Mina knew?

He glanced back up but the two girls were looking elsewhere, the smile still playing on their lips. He followed their gaze into the common room until he landed on bright red hair.

Oh, fuck no.

Forgetting the tea, Sero scrambled for his phone as he tried to escape the kitchen, eyes wider than before.

op soft bakuboi

Tuesday 1 7 : 3 6

serolater: fuckin help me

serolater: PLEASE I CANT RUN AWAY

serolater: CALLING BOTH DISASTER BIS WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU

Alien Queen: excuse I am a not a disaster bi that is a title reserved for denki only

earphonejack: ur a disaster bi

Alien Queen: jiroooooooou

earphonejack: hey sero whats up?

serolater: fckn heLPWEPFNRHFOUN

calamari: woah there buddy u having a stroke?

serolater: GET WOUBF FOWN HERE

earphonejack: dude where are u

Alien Queen: sero?? are you ok????

Alien Queen: SERO??

Class 5A

Tuesday 1 7 : 4 3

Ojiyes: why is Ashido running around like her hair is on fire?

todoloki: kami just passed my room screaming like homer

tokosalami: …did u just reference the simpsons?

todoloki: … mayhaps

Ojiyes: Jirou just ran past looking ready to murder someone

todoloki: eh its just the Bakusquad ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

tokosalami: who are you

SueYou: he’s been talking to shinsou a lot recently that’s how he knows the simpsons

aoyamaman?: ~ooh~ uve been talking to shinsou?

todoloki: its not like that

aoyamaman?: we’ll see

Ojiyes: that’s ominous????!!?

“SERO!” Mina ran around the dorms, screaming her head off. Jirou was also doing the same, except minus the screaming. Kami was on the floor above them but Mina’s screaming was superior. She was honestly worried. She knew Sero had anxiety but she hadn’t gotten any worrying texts from him recently so she thought everything was okay.

She burst into the common room where only Bakugou and Kirishima were, sitting on the sofa, playing some game on the Xbox or something. High voices and giggles alerted her to the kitchen. Sero was crowded against the counter as Uraraka and Hagakure fussed around him. It looked like Uraraka was taking him through some breathing exercises. Mina’s heart rate spiked and she caught his eye. They were wide and full of panic, the exact opposite of his usual chilled out self. She moved closer but wasn’t sure if she should considering how crowded it was getting. Hagakure was bubbling with excitement next to him and she didn’t really understand how she could act like that right now but before she could do anything, Hagakure ran off. Uraraka kept talking, calming down Sero as much as she could before she pinched his cheeks and grinned at him. Hagakure’s voice was heard before she entered the kitchen again, dragging in a confused Kirishima behind her.

Sero caught Mina’s eye and whispered ‘help me!’.

Oh. It wasn’t a panic attack. It was something else entirely. Something that was arguably her own fault.

Mina watched as Uraraka clamped a hand down on Sero’s shoulder, giving him a reassuring squeeze before turning to Kirishima. Her mouth opened but before she could say anything Bakugou stormed in, something resembling a growl (oh, come on, he can’t say he’s not a werewolf now) emanating from him. Sero’s eyes widened even further and Jirou and Kaminari suddenly appeared, stopping next to Mina.

“Oh shit,” Kaminari let out as he observed the scene in front of him.

Sero wanted to crawl away and die. He was probably going to die either way. Bakugou moved closer and Uraraka squinted up at him, raising a delicate eyebrow. Hagakure decided this was a good time to slip away and she disappeared without anyone noticing.

“What the fuck is going on?” Bakugou spat. He glared at Sero as if he knew what was going to happen. Fuck, he probably did. Sero was definitely going to die.

Uraraka patted Sero’s shoulder. “Sero was going to say something. Now if you don’t mind would you shoo?” A horrendous part of Kaminari wished she added ‘begone thot’ to the end. She pushed Bakugou away as if he were a little child and Kaminari took in a sharp breath.

Bakugou shoved her hands away, turning his red eyes back to Sero. They seemed like mini volcanos ready to erupt. Everything about Bakugou just seemed to be things about to explode. No, no, no. That was a very dark hole to go down. Oh, no. Sero cursed himself for that thought, wanting to cry and die at the unwanted to image in his head. Not one he wanted of his friend. Ever. His face turned a little red which right now really wasn’t what he wanted.

Bakugou growled again. “Do you have something to say, Soy Sauce Face?” Sero didn’t answer and just averted his gaze, looking at the weird dark spot on the ceiling from Todoroki almost accidentally burning down the kitchen during the last (and only) time he attempted to cook. His face was still warm. Please, skin, go back to being not criminal evidence. “Fine, then, I guess I’ll tell you something.” Kirishima squeaked as Bakugou slipped an arm around his waist, pulling him close to his chest. Sero looked up just in time to see their lips smash together and Uraraka’s jaw drop open. They broke apart and Bakugou’s angry gaze was back on him. “I’ll break more than just your bones if you hit on him. He’s mine.” Kirishima turned away, a dark flush creeping up his neck and he bit his lip to prevent a smile from forming.

Sero sighed. “I don’t like him! I like someone else!”

There was a second of silence until Bakugou blinked. “Oh.” Then his expression changed, going from surprised to confused before settling on a malicious smirk. His eyes glinted.

Kaminari’s suddenly squealed and jumped up and down, clutching onto both Mina and Jirou’s hands. “Oh, my God! They finally came out!” As he jumped, he accidentally knocked into someone behind him and that’s when they all realised that most of the class were standing in the doorway, all wide-eyed and with speechless mouths, aside from Todoroki who still looked dead inside.

Hagakure was at the front and she smiled sheepishly, letting out a nervous chuckle. “Uh, I brought back up?” Bakugou let out an angry huff but his face was blushing darker than Kiri’s.

“Um, congratulations, Kacchan!” Midoriya exclaimed, although he still looked a little shocked.

“This is gold.” Tokoyami deadpanned and brought his phone down to his side. “I’ll send the pictures to the group chat.” And then he walked off.

Bakugou left after that, clutching Kirishima’s hand tightly but not before poking Sero’s chest and muttering small ‘we’re talking about this later’ in a low voice.

“Wow,” Yaoyorozu murmured under her breath. “I can’t believe Bakugou is the first one of us to be in a relationship.”

“They’ve been in a relationship for a while now.” Todoroki shrugged before walking off. Most of the class left after him, either in a daze or not affected at all. Yaoyorozu wondered if she should go to Bakugou for dating advice. That seemed like a terrible idea and she immediately scrapped it. A small part of her brain still nagged at her as she walked up the stairs to her dorm room. What if Bakugou actually gave good dating advice? Maybe she should first ask Kirishima but she had a feeling if she asked him, Bakugou would get involved anyway. And Jirou was part of the Bakusquad. Momo didn’t swear but if she did then now would most definitely be a time where she would.

Sero still stood by the counter, Uraraka also frozen by his side. He just admitted that he liked someone in front of said someone. He wondered if Mina knew. That must have been obvious right? Uraraka patted his shoulder again. “Sorry. I thought I was helping you. I guess not. Oh, God!” She ran her hands over her face. “I completely embarrassed you at the Halloween party! I’m so sorry!”

“No offence but I think you more embarrassed yourself.”

Uraraka let out a whine. “Ok, that’s fair. I also won’t meddle in your love life anymore!” She put a solemn hand across her heart but then a grin broke out on her face. “Unless you want me to?” Her eyebrows wiggled teasingly.

“NO!”

She ran away, laughing. The tea was still sitting on the counter. It was cold now. He sighed.

Class 5A

Tuesday 1 9 : 0 2

tokosalami sent (5) images

uravity: awwww they’re adorable!

Die: fuck off and die

Red Riot: they are pretty cute tho

Red Riot: u gotta admit

Red Riot: especially the one where ur a literal tomato

Die: I SAID DIE

Red Riot: lol

Red Riot: im saving these

Die: AASDKFNWEKNF

Iida Tenya: I never got to congratulate you two so congratulations on getting together!

Red Riot: aw thank you!

SueYou: how long have u guys been together anyway?

Red Riot: um I think about 3 months now?

Die: 3 months and 17 days

Alien Queen: wrow

Alien Queen: should I share the photos? @earphonejack @calamari @serolater

Red Riot: what photos?

Die: WHAT PHOTOS?

earphonejack: r u a literal dumbass?

Alien Queen: I want to clear sero’s name

serolater: NO PLS I ALREADY THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE DO NOT SHARE THE PHOTOS

Die: WHAT PHOTOS

todoloki: this is going to be so dumb isn’t it

todoloki: hold on

todoloki added shinsomniac to Class 5A

todoloki: there now u can continue

shinsomniac: I think u added me to the wrong gc

todoloki: nah kiribaku came out

shinsomniac: oh fucking finally

Die: WHAT DO YOU MEAN FUCKING FINALLY

Die: ARE YOU THE SHITHEAD FROM THE STAIRWELL

shinsomniac: what

shinsomniac: no I saw u at the party

todoloki: I had nothing to do with that

izookoo: sorry let me just butt in to say shouto u idiot

todoloki: no u

SueYou: omg uve been texting shinsou too much

aoyamaman?: SEE IT IS TRUE I TELL YOU

Alien Queen: lemme just bring this back

serolater: NO UR GONNA KILL US

serolater: PLEASE IVE HAD ENOUGH TRAUMA FOR TODAY

Alien Queen sent (14) images

Alien Queen: oops I was already sending them

earphonejack: let me just repeat what Midoriya said: mina u idiot

calamari: this is the last day of my life

shinsomniac: my li-i-i-ife

shinsomniac: sorry couldn’t help myself

Dumbfucks

Tuesday 1 9 : 1 4

calamari: OMG HES PERFECT

ya bois listen to yer daddy

Tuesday 1 9 : 1 4

shinsomniac: WHY CANT I CONTROL MYSELF

Class 5A

Tuesday 1 9 : 1 4

Ojiyes: isn’t the lyrics this is the best day of my life?

shinsomniac: and ur point?

Alien Queen: anyway let me go back to saving my baby boy

Alien Queen: these are the pictures from op soft bakuboi

Die: WHAT

serolater: *hyperventilating*

earphonejack: I just want to say I wasn’t involved in this

Alien Queen: so we found out abt kiribaku and we saw how soft bakuboi was

Die: STOP CALLING ME BAKUBOI

calamari: fine bakubro was so soft for kiri

shinsomniac: rlly? I thought he’d be hard

Die: OMG STOP U FUCKERS

tokosalami: lol good one

Alien Queen: so yeah bc sero is better than us we got him to talk about kiri so we could get pictures of bakuboi being a cute Pomeranian instead of a feral one

SueYou: lol did u just call bakugou a Pomeranian

SueYou: wow I totally see it now

Die: FUCK YOU RACCOON EYES

uravity: oh that explains the gym thing

izookoo: sero I feel sorry for u

izookoo: u had to go thru that all alone

todoloki: wait is this what happened in physics

todoloki: and u guys were creating chaos

todoloki: and mineta made /that/ comment

KojiSoap: what comment?

earphonejack: nope nope ur too pure

Red Riot: this is not what u want to come out of lurking for

KojiSoap: k bye bye ^-^

serolater: omg why u have to remind me of that

SueYou: WE DO NOT SAY THAT NAME IN MY PURE CHRISTIAN MINECRAFT SERVER

Red Riot: heads up: he’s coming to kill u

calamari: fuckity fuck fuck

Alien Queen: WAIT I THOUGHT YOUD BE ABLE TO PROTEC US KIRI

earphonejack: suffer

meshoji: u guys r a mess

meshoji: im hosting emo night tonite @shinsomniac I feel like u fit wanna join?

shinsomniac: fuck yes

shinsomniac: hold on let me first save a certain pikachu

todoloki: YEET YEET GO GET UR BOI

shinsomniac: I agree this is weird Im no longer talking to u

todoloki: just trying new things ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

uravity: we love u the way u are pls stop trying new things

SueYou: its scary

tokosalami: ^^

izookoo: ^^

meshoji: ^^^^

yaomomo: ^^^^^^^

earphonejack: ^^^^^^^

aoyamaman?: ^^

Satonic: ^^^

Ojiyes: ^^^^^^^^

shinsomniac: is that the fire alarm?

Iida Tenya: THIS IS NOT A DRILL EVERYONE PLEASE EVACUATE THE BUILDING

Iida Tenya: THE FIRE ALARM HAS BEEN ACTIVATED

shinsomniac: I wondered where the entire bakusquad went

yaomomo: has anyone seen mineta?

SueYou: MY CHRISTIAN MINECRAFT SERVER

yaomomo: he’s not outside

earphonejack: Hatsume just told me that he went to the bathroom???

izookoo: WAIT HES STILL IN THE BUILDING?

earphonejack: no I think hes in the school building, not the dorm one

Iida Tenya: OK IS EVERYONE SAFE?

yaomomo: yeah I don’t think theres anyone left inside

shinsomniac: oh fuck I think aizawa’s coming

calamari: fuckity fuck fuck

Die: SHUT UP U FRIED PIKACHU

calamari: THIS IS UR FAULT

Die: WHAT U SAY BITCH

calamari: IM NOT AFRaid  OF YOU COME AT ME FERAL POMEGRANATE

serolater: im just to guess that was autocorrect?

Die: I CAN C U RUNNING AWAY U SHIT

meshoji: how r they typing while running

earphonejack: its one of the few skills u need before u can join the bakusquad

Alien Queen: yeah bc we constantly running for our lives ^o^

calamari: ITS TOO LOUD THERES A TANK I CANT HEAR YOU

serolater: wtf

shinsomniac: oh hey i love ant man

Die: THERES NO TANK SHITHEAD

todoloki: well mido’s a tank so

Red Riot: omg why is this the memories of our official get together

Die: SORRY BABES ILL MAKE IT UP TO U

izookoo: *blinking repeatedly* soft bakuboi? it’s not a myth?

Red Riot: do u know what this is perfectly fine memories c u later babes

Ojiyes: the dorm is burning?????

Chapter Text

stabbystabby killing dabbydabby

Wednesday 1 5 : 1 6

stabbystabby: I heard one of the UA dorms burned yesterday

daboi: that’s nice

compress the depression: no? its not nice???

kurokillme: just give up its what ive done

shiggy: heh ok

spinner: just change ur name to shaggy already

twice: ya be a MAN

spinner: A SHAGGY MAN

shiggy: fuck no

twice: :0

spinner: YOU DON’T DESERVE THE POWER OF SHAGGY ANYWAY

daboi: stop w the dead memes

kurokillme: can u all actually get back to class??

stabbystabby: honestly someone please why did I take physics again?

daboi: bc ur a masochist

compress the depression: im pretty sure out of us all ur the masochist

spinner: that’s Truth

stabbystabby: anyway we should celebrate the burning of UA

twice: cool whatdya wanna do?

stabbystabby: lets have a gang night!!!

stabbystabby: OOH WANNA GO TO THE MOVIES

stabbystabby: WE COULD ALSO GO TO THE ARCADE

twice: WE CAN GET PIZZA

daboi: mom the children are excited again

kurokillme: it’s a school night don’t u have homework

daboi: omg you’ve never sounded more like a mom

compress the depression: I can’t believe u actually replied to that like wtf

spinner: yeah we now have permission to call u mom

kurokillme: do u know what ill take it

kurokillme: it could be worse

daboi: yeah we could be calling u daddy instead ;)

kurokillme: username

stabbystabby: dabi I thought u only reserved that nickname for ur boyfriend

daboi: asf;sijfpk

daboi: OMG NO

twice: damn hes actually choking and failing to hide it from the teacher

twice: but the teacher doesn’t care if he chokes so hes just ignoring it

twice: but hey at least now u have everyone’s attention

daboi: I NEVER WANTED ATTENTION

shiggy: give it up ur a kinky bastard we all know

spinner: actually no???? like how do /u/ know????

daboi: yeah exactly HOW DO U KNOW

shiggy: that impies stuff abt both of us u do realise that right

spinner: impies

twice: impies

stabbystabby: impies

compress the depression: impies

daboi: u were saying?

shiggy: urgh fuck this

shiggy: im busy tonight anyway

twice: ooh who is this?

twice: a special bro? hoe? nonbinary soul?

daboi: try internet robots

kurokillme: im sorry what

shiggy: ew fuck get ur mind out the fucking gutter

shiggy: I have a raid planned tonite

stabbystabby: damn who knew ur mother had such a dirty mind

spinner: that’s what she said

compress the depression: title of ur sex tape

kurokillme: *sigh*

daboi: do u know what we need to find Kurogiri a bro/hoe/nonbinary soul

stabbystabby: YES TOTALLY ON BOARD

twice: WE CAN START PLANNING IT TONIGHT OVER PIZZA

spinner: yeah it can be a practice dinner and a movie

daboi: itll just be u guys

stabbystabby: what why

daboi: I got a date

kurokillme: damn already running to daddy

daboi: ASFKLKPIWENF

twice: PAHAHAHAHH LMAOOO

compress the depression: magnificent thank u spinner laughed so loud he got caught on his phone and now he has detention

kurokillme: and now is time to disband

stabbystabby: aw looks like we need to schedule fun night out another time

twice: DOESNT MEAN WE CANT HELP DABI DRESS FOR HIS DATE TONIGHT

daboi: no I refuse

daboi: none I repeat NONE of you are helping me

stabbystabby: lol too late

stabbystabby: ill bring my knives

twice: awesome lets meet at dabi’s house after skl

shiggy: ill come for the shits and giggles

spinner: what abt ur internet robots

shiggy: does that even make sense?

spinner: answer the question u gamer

stabbystabby: more like gaymer amirite

shiggy: what did i do to deserve this

twice: pfft everything

shiggy: i will be there until i have to go

daboi: WHY BOTHER COMING AT ALL JUST LEAVE ME ALONE

shiggy: no

daboi: oh fml

compress the depression changed the group name to date night action squad

Chapter Text

date night action squad

Wednesday 1 6 : 0 2

stabbystabby: twice where r u

shiggy: dead

compress the depression: mood

twice: I’ve been waiting at the gate for the past ten mins where tf r u

stabbystabby: chill a girl’s gotta pee

shiggy: for 10 mins? do all girls have bladder issues as well?

stabbystabby: urgh talk to me when ur bleeding out ur vagina and ur uterus is stabbing u through the eye

twice: ok woah tmi

compress the depression: why r u so obsessed w hurting the eye

compress the depression: first scooping Dabi’s eyes out, now ur uterus stabbing u through ur eye

shiggy: compress pls stop

compress the depression: ok ok I’m waiting for u all at the train station

stabbystabby: who has Dabi’s keys

twice: kurogiri has a set I think

compress the depression: ok 1) why do we need Dabi’s keys and 2) why does kurogiri have them

stabbystabby: we need them so we don’t have to break in duh

twice: yeah he got rlly mad the last time

twice: threatened to set us all on fire

shiggy: maybe then you’ll finally be hot and get a date

stabbystabby: and kurogiri is mother hen remember?

twice: yeah he has all our house keys

twice: also r o o d

twice: u can’t say anything pasty lips

compress the depression: what, does he have my key????

stabbystabby: of course!!!

shiggy: hurry up u fucks I want to get this over and done with

stabbystabby: ooh we should stop off somewhere to get food!!!

shiggy: Just raid Dabi’s fridge

stabbystabby: ok

compress the depression: we just ignoring the Kurogiri key master thing???

stabbystabby: yeah that’s old news move on u old man

compress the depression: im 1 year older than u???

shiggy: lol u still a smol 17 yr old eat my dust maggot

twice: why is shiggy the oldest, he has the most childish brain

shiggy: I WILL DISINTIGRATE YOU

twice: how???? see childish brain cant even figure out a viable way to murder me

stabbystabby: lol I forgot u were the youngest of all the seniors

compress the depression: I hate this conversation

Wednesday 1 6 : 1 1

kurokillme: I am master of all keys, I am master of all key thieves, you may run but u can never hide I will always find ur house key :)

bugsbunny > ijusthado

Wednesday 1 6 : 1 4

bugsbunny: meet me here @6 tonite

bugsbunny sent (1) image

bugsbunny: wear outfit incognito

ijusthado: is it time?

bugsbunny: it is time

ijusthado: ILL BE THERE

lemillion > Suneater

Wednesday 1 6 : 1 6

lemillion: so hado’s just laughing like maleficent

Suneater: nothing out of the ordinary

lemillion: she has a plan she ran off

Suneater: is it time for a surveillance date night?

lemillion: wow u read my mind

Suneater: ill go get our outfits

lemillion: ill go tail hado

lemillion: no wait maybe we should switch roles

Suneater: told you ur sunshine smile will backfire one day

lemillion: damn u right

Suneater: its ok I will channel my outer emo with u in my heart

lemillion: it would be sweet but then again youre u and ur heart is as dead as shinsou’s eyes so it isnt

lemillion: lol u look so funny offended

Suneater: WHERE TF R U???

lemillion: look out the window

lemillion: AHAHHHAHAHA OMG THAT WAS THE BEST

Suneater: DELETE THAT VIDEO RN

lemillion: lol nope

Suneater: ur putting it on sc aren’t u

lemillion: oh would u look at the time gotta get those outfits ready byeeeeeeeee

Suneater: fuck u I still don’t know where hado is

lemillion: PERFECT TIME TO USE YOUR 1920 EMO DETECTIVE SKILLS

lemillion: (psst she was heading to the dorms I think or somewhere in that direction she could’ve been going anywhere really now that I think abt it)

Suneater: ur so unhelpful

lemillion > yaomomo

Wednesday 1 6 : 2 3

lemillion: hi! Amajiki and I are going to check out this cosplay do u have anything clothing items we could use like cloaks or something?

yaomomo: awww that sounds like so much fun!!! I have some but ik others who have more things! We could meet in the common room to check them out!

lemillion: OMG that’d be great! Thanks so much!

yaomomo: great! C u in 5 I’ll let the others know :)

»»---------------------►

Toga tried to muffle her squeals as Kurogiri unlocked Dabi’s front door, giving out an exasperated sigh as he did so but Compress could see the smallest gleam glinting like shining metal in his eye. Twice was also jumping up and down like a little five-year-old who’d just seen “real life” Santa. The liquid within the Mountain Dew bottle sloshed around in his hand. Compress didn’t like Mountain Dew but he could understand why Twice did. Twice had no standards. His dating history was proof of that. Shigaraki was texting furiously on his phone, probably starting arguments in some random twitter thread. He was that kind of a jackass.

The door clicked open and Kurogiri watched as his idiot friends all shoved each other to get in. Well, really, it was only Toga and Twice but you should never disturb Shigaraki while he was texting. And Compress just happened to exist. Like always, he somehow got dragged in. Silence greeted them, which they were all used to. Dabi’s parents never seemed to be around and Toga had a running theory that Dabi secretly was his own parent and that was why he was sometimes such an old grandpa. She’s been forbidden from theorising.

Toga ran up to Dabi’s room, her school bag swaying dangerously around on her back. Even though she was a fifth year and had folders for each of her subjects, Kurogiri knew she never actually kept anything in her folders and just stuffed the spare sheets of paper and whatnot in her bag. They were probably all crushed by now. Twice ran after her, a maniacal grin stretching his face. Shigaraki only went up the stairs because Kurogiri dragged him up by his shirt collar.

“Dabiiiiiiiiii!” Toga banged on his closed door. “Are you decent? We don’t want a repeat of last time!”

“That was your fault!” Dabi’s voice yelled from inside his room.

Compress’ eyebrows furrowed. “What happened last time?”

Twice’s face visibly paled at the memory and he frantically shook his head. “You really, really don’t want to know.”

“You’re right. I really don’t.” Compress smacked his lips and wondered why he was here in the first place. He sort of wished he was sitting in detention with Spinner, the lucky bastard who got a free pass from the shit that is sure to go down. Compress wasn’t regretting his choice of friends. No, not at all. It was his last year in high school and he wasn’t regretting who he happened to associate himself with since second year and ever since then has gotten stuck in a loop of never being able to leave. Dabi swung his door open, revealing sharp turquoise eyes. He glared at them all. A white towel was flung over his left shoulder and he wore loose shorts and a grey t-shirt.

“Finally!” Toga pushed past him and jumped onto his bed. She had dumped her bag outside his door.

“I forgot how boring your room was.” Twice started to rifle through the contents of his bag and pulled out a pencil case filled with markers. “Let’s add some colour!” Toga’s eyes lit up and Twice threw a few markers at her which she caught easily.

“Don’t you fucking dare!” Dabi growled but they were both already at different sides of the room, vandalising his walls. Dabi didn’t know who to lunge for first but decided on Toga as she was devil spawn mixed with the DNA of a troll gremlin. She squealed as she felt his arms wrap around her midsection, dragging her away from the wall as if she weighed nothing. A dark red line jutted out from the half-finished doodle of what everyone could only assume to be Dabi and Hawks. Shigaraki had given up on his twitter feud and instead was videoing everything for his Instagram. Surprisingly, he had quite a lot of followers. People liked his general assholelishness apparently. They also liked whenever Dabi was there but Dabi didn’t believe in social media so all his accounts were extremely dry.

Twice snickered as he finished his doodle. It seemed he and Toga both shared the same brain cell as they both drew the exact same thing, cursing Kurogiri’s poor, poor eyes. The only difference was that Twice had zero artistic ability whatsoever so the doodle, to the purest of souls, could’ve been interpreted as two feral chickens trying to eat one another. To some extent, that interpretation was entirely right.

Dabi finally managed to get the markers away from Toga and started cursing her instead for all the marker on his beautiful, just showered arms. Twice carefully slid his pencil case away and no one dared point out the large streaks of red and blue running across Dabi’s face.

“Stop being such a baby, we’re just helping the room reflect more of you!” Dabi huffed as Toga waltzed around the room, mainly using Kurogiri as a human shield so Dabi won’t attack her.

“All of you get out of my house! Now!” None of them moved. Shigaraki was talking into his phone. It seemed as though he was live-streaming everything and Dabi’s joyous fit had been displayed to the entire internet world. Toga skipped around to his drawer and pulled it open. “What are you doing?” Dabi asked as she threw black t-shirt after black t-shirt onto his bed.

“Helping you get ready for your date, duh!”

Shiggy looked up from the phone camera and said, “You’re ugly,” as if that was an explanation.

Toga had now started on the white t-shirt pile. There were significantly less of those and an even smaller number of grey t-shirts. “Do you have anything date-worthy? I refuse to let you go looking like a hobo.”

“I’m fine with that,” Shigaraki interjected. He eyed the black coat hanging limply behind the door. It was a nice jacket but when Dabi wore it, it only enhanced his hobo aesthetic.

Twice pushed all the piles of clothes onto the floor so he could sit on the bed. He swung his legs and deflected any more monotone clothing Toga threw at him. “Maybe he could wear that Santa costume from the Santa Dash last year. It’s the only colourful thing he owns.”

“No,” Dabi said without missing a second. He then turned to Toga. “I already have an outfit so please leave.”

“You have depression personified if that’s what you’re going for, but, no. I’m not leaving. Compress, please help him clean his face.”

Compress sighed dramatically and tugged Dabi’s arm. “Come on, you look like a toddler on finger-painting day.” Dabi thought he was referring to his arms and let himself be pulled into the bathroom, sticking up a middle finger behind him as they retreated. Toga started to rifle through his other (very limited) clothing options when they all heard a furious yell of incoherent swears emerging from the bathroom.

“Oh, I think Dabi’s found the mirror now,” Shigaraki said to his live stream. He was smiling and everyone was scarred.

Dabi stormed out, back hunched and arms swaying. There was still marker on them but it was much more faded. Compress peaked out from the bathroom to see Toga giggling as she ducked under his arm, letting him crash into his wardrobe. Dabi screamed as his clothes were flung everywhere, used as ammunition by Twice to help out his fellow mate in arms. Kurogiri sat cross-legged by the door, crying on the inside.

date night action squad

Wednesday 1 6 : 4 6

spinner: hey whats up

kurokillme: they’re all killing each other

spinner: oh yeah I got a notif saying shigs started a live stream

kurokillme: aren’t u still in detention?

spinner: yeah but its pepper boy supervising so everyone’s on their phones

spinner: in fact I think theres a game of kahoot going on

compress the depression: pepper boy’s awesome

compress the depression: if I had to marry a teacher it would be pepper boy

kurokillme: coming on a little strong there

spinner: nah I support it

spinner: youd make a wonderful couple

kurokillme: its illegal???

kurokillme: he’s a teacher???

compress the depression: hes only like 5 years older than us

spinner: oh wait pepper boy is letting us go early bc we all have shit to do and he wants to get a beer w his friends hes such a lad

compress the depression: see everyone loves pepper boy

kurokillme: hurry up and get here

spinner: k getting the next train

When Spinner arrived, Kurogiri opened the door for him and everyone was sitting in the living room. Dabi had managed to get most of the marker off (thank God Twice was a cheap bastard so only bought bad quality things), Toga was trying to fix her hair because a good chunk of it had been cut off so she had one shorter side and one longer side and Twice was holding a frozen bag of peas to his cheek. Shigaraki had stopped live streaming and was letting the sofa swallow him up as he scowled at nothing. His hand held a red-dotted tissue to his nose. Okay, he was scowling at something.

“What the fuck happened?”

Compress was sitting on a sofa arm. “We helped Dabi get ready for his date.” He seemed to be the only okay one and was drinking hot chocolate.

Shigaraki huffed and pointed a spindly finger at Twice, who gasped. “He slapped my face with a book.”

“It was an accident! I was aiming for Dabi!”

“I have a date tonight, you fuck munch!” Dabi almost sprung at him but a steady hand from Kurogiri held him down. “And thanks to you two,” he gestured to Toga and Twice, “my face is the set of Mister Maker and my room the set of some porn studio!”

Toga shrugged, smiling. “We made improvements. Plus, you can’t deny that your outfit is definitely fuck worthy. Gotta impress Daddy after all.”

Dabi cringed and ran a hand over his face. “Don’t call him that.”

“Of course, we understand that you’d be possessive of that nickname.” She grinned.

Compress yelped when Spinner took the mug of hot chocolate from his hand. “What happened to your hair?” he asked after a sip.

“Edge Lord cut it off.”

“Okay, and what happened to your face?” He turned to Twice.

“Edge Lord punched me.”

He then turned to Shigaraki. “Did you video any of it?”

Shigs nodded. “It’s on my YouTube channel. I’ve titled it ‘Dabi’s Nervous Breakdown Before His Big First Date With A Bird Man.”

Dabi growled. “I hate all of you.”

They sat there for a minute in silence on, probably, very expensive couches. Spinner liked coming to Dabi’s house because Dabi was a rich kid (like Shigaraki) and the couch material felt nice. It was soothing. He didn’t like to go to Shigaraki’s house because while they had nice sofas, Shig’s dad was weirdly coddling. He took another sip of Compress’ hot chocolate. Compress had given up on trying to wrestle it from him.

Shigaraki got up and walked out of the room, throwing the bloody tissue into the bin as he passed. “See ya, losers.”

“Have fun gaming!” Toga called out.

“Hope the raid fails in the most embarrassing way and you die!” Dabi shouted. They all heard the door close. Dabi pushed himself off the sofa and made his way to the stairs.

“I’ll help him with the marker,” Kurogiri said as he followed him.

Compress looked at Spinner. “Can I get my hot chocolate back?”

“No.”

»»---------------------►

Suneater > lemillion

Wednesday 1 7 : 2 2

Suneater: I found hado

lemillion: its been like an hour what have u been doing this entire time

Suneater: … there was a churro stand

Suneater: and then my friend sent me this hilarious video it perfectly sums up the first date chaos

lemillion: ???

Suneater: ill show u later

Suneater: anyway I think hado’s been in her dorm for the past while

Suneater: I don’t know

lemillion: ok well um ive got outfits that I think will blend in perfectly????

Suneater: oh shes coming out her room

Suneater: shes talking to someone on the phone

Suneater: shes leaving

Suneater: FUC SHE COMING THIS WAY

lemillion: ABORT ABORT RUN AWAY

lemillion: USE UR STEALTH SKILLS RUN RUN

Suneater: RUNDOOING

lemillion: DIVE INTO A BUSH

Suneater: FU

Suneater: OH SHIT SHES TUNRED THE CORNER I TURNED

lemillion: hello?

lemillion: u ded?

lemillion: imma take ur awesome cloak hoodie thing if u ded

Suneater: I JUMPED INTO A BUSH

lemillion: oh I was just joking

lemillion: did u actually jump into a bush

Suneater: THERES SO MANY BRAMBLES HOW DO THEY DO THIS IN MOVIES

lemillion: I don’t think they really do it anymore

Suneater: ah im not suited for stealth

lemillion: did she see u?

Suneater: don’t think so

lemillion: boom ur suited for stealth

lemillion: so get ur ass over here so u can wear ur stealth suit

lemillion: oh fuck wait u got stabbed by bush babies

Suneater: pls never say that again

lemillion: hold ill come to u

»»---------------------►

“Rumi!” Hawks cried from the pitiful crumpled mess he was on the floor. He had called for her assistance half an hour ago but he’d spent a large amount of that time gushing about Dabi and how great their text conversations were going. Sure, they were a little dry and devoid of anything at the beginning but once Dabi actually started replying, things went swimmingly. But his date was in an hour and he also had to leave time for travel and he was a panicking mess on the floor because he had nothing to wear.

Rumi rolled her eyes from where she was sitting on his bed. Clothes were strewn around everywhere. He was surprised at how much fitness stuff he had in his wardrobe. He even found a pair of shoes that he had completely forgotten about. “I’m gonna leave soon,” Rumi announced.

“No! You can’t! You need to help me!”

This tore another eye roll from Rumi and she stood up, hopping over the jumpers and jeans and horrible t-shirts on the ground before stopping in front of his wardrobe. “So, we need something to make you look sexy but at the same time you need to look not like a total slut.” She pulled out two denim jackets. One was slightly distressed and had no sleeves, whereas the other one was a darker colour and had multiple pockets. Rumi wished girls’ clothes had more pockets but she stored the slight jealousy away for later. Hawks watched as she titled her head before tossing the sleeveless denim jacket onto the floor and the other one onto his bed.

She then went to scavenge through all the t-shirts on the floor, emerging with a tight-fitting tank top with a cool criss-cross pattern on it. She threw that and a pair of dark jeans onto the bed. “Get dressed,” Rumi ordered as she turned around to search through the various necklaces and earrings he had. Hawks stripped down to his boxers, letting the sweatpants and old t-shirt he was wearing meld into his disaster of a floor. He’d find them later. When he’d pulled on everything Rumi picked out for him (the jeans were a bit of a problem; he just assumed they were a really old pair and nothing else), he found her staring at him. “Put this on.” She shoved a watch in his hands and a thin silver chain necklace. She went back to searching for some earrings and held up two small studs.

“Okay, I’m going to go now.” She pointed towards the door. “Put on some good height-lifting shoes, unless you want to be small and short.” He gave her a look. “Hey, I don’t know! You guys might be all for the smaller/taller, dom/sub play thing!”

“Oh, my God! Rumi!” He threw a balled-up t-shirt at her.

She giggled and ran out of the room. “Good luck!” She then pulled out her phone and called Hado.

»»---------------------►

Mirio found Amajiki near the back of the school building, slouched over a bush and wincing as he pulled a thorn from his arm. There were quite a few green and brown leaves littering his hair and dotting his t-shirt and jeans.

“Hey!” Mirio greeted him cheerfully, receiving a dull stare in reply. He ignored that and started to untangle the leaves in the dark mass of hair.

“Why are we doing this again?” Amajiki asked and sighed.

“Come on! This is might actually be the one! We always try to figure out where she sneaks off to but we always lose her in the crowd! This is our chance!” Mirio gave shot him his megawatt smile, blue eyes gleaming. Amajiki sighed again. Why was he friends with the biggest ray of sunshine? Mirio tugged his arm, minding where the thorn was. “There’s this cosplay thing happening and I got some clothes from Momo, Aoyama and Tokoyami! She’ll never be able to spot us, even if we’re standing right in front of her.” Mirio giggled deviously but Amajiki only frowned.

“What clothes do you have for me?” His voice was hesitant as he glanced over Mirio’s excited eyes. They only seemed to sparkle brighter as his grin widened. To everyone else, Mirio was the perfect, inspirational leader who worked so hard but Amajiki knew the truth. Mirio had a little demon inhabiting his brain and at times like this, said demon would make its grand appearance. The last time he’d seen that grin, the common room had very nearly been flooded with soapy water, dog treats and rubber ducks. They’d almost been banned from their own common room by Aizawa but Nezu saved them. For some reason. In fact, maybe it was Nezu that was the little demon.

“It’s a surprise. I’m sure you’ll love it.” Amajiki didn’t believe him but Hado disappearing was something that had been ongoing for the past few months and he was curious. He gave his dignity one last parting kiss.

When they reached Mirio’s room, it was almost twenty to six.

“Wait.” Amajiki stopped outside his door. “How do we know where Hado is?”

Mirio shoved up his phone, waving it in Amajiki’s face. It was so close, it was almost touching his eyelashes. “Last time we were all in the library, I set up location sharing on her phone!” He was giddy and Amajiki had no idea why. He wondered if Kaminari had given Mirio whatever it was he took to get high. He was kind of surprised Kaminari was the one being exposed for smoking weed, though. He thought, if anyone, it would be Sero.

He rose a single eyebrow. “Seriously?”

“It’s useful, right?” Mirio pushed open his door, revealing his clean, yet cluttered room. His desk was littered with stuff but everywhere else was spick and span.

Amajiki’s eyes zeroed in on the two outfits lying nonchalantly on the bed. “What the fuck is that?” He pointed to a pair of pointy elf ears.

Mirio grinned, walking over to them. He held each outfit up. One was a mainly white skin-tight bodysuit with yellow and blue accents across the breastplate armour. There was a large red cape clipped around the neck of the hanger. On the head of the hammer sat a weird roman-inspired helmet. Overall, Amajiki decided it looked like some awful space warrior who was also a descendant of Ares. The other costume wasn’t much better. It consisted of a dark purple tunic (a similar colour to his spiky hair), a white wrap skirt and leggings. The only okay part seemed to be the cloak hanging behind it. It was white and had gold accents but the part Amajiki loved was the large hood. Maybe that would help him hide from the world so they wouldn’t know it was actually him who had fallen this far. He could hope.

“Well… what d’ya think?” Mirio looked at him expectantly, eyes wide as if he thought this was the most amazing thing in the world.

“No,” was his only reply. Mirio chucked the purple costume at his face before he could leave.

“Tough.” He then started to get changed. “Hurry up. My phone says Hado is already on the train.”

Amajiki huffed but pulled the tunic roughly over his head. He didn’t even want to know why Momo, Aoyama and Tokoyami had stuff like this just lying around. Actually, this wasn’t that surprising coming from Tokoyami. He wondered if Momo secretly cosplayed. He didn’t know what to think about Aoyama. He was a too bright blonde and he already had one of those in his life so he stayed far, far away.

Something else was chucked at him and they hit him square in the face. After a second (he needed a moment to mourn his poor face), he glanced down and saw the two, pointy elf ears. “No,” he said again.

“Oh, come on! Why not?”

Amajiki glared at him. “You wear the elf ears.” He kicked them back but they didn’t move very far on the carpet. They stared at him, taunting him. He could see the lines in the fake ears opening and closing, laughing at his misery.

“Nah, they suit you better.”

His head snapped up. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Mirio shrugged. “You have a pointy face. Embrace the elf life, man.”

After ten more minutes of squabbling and pouting and mocking one another, they both left the dorm. Amajiki grumbled as he adjusted the elf ears, but followed Mirio who was stalking Hado on his phone.

»»---------------------►

“Get the fuck out.” Dabi practically kicked Spinner out his front door before closing it swiftly behind him, locking it with a key. His hair was done, all waxed and spiked to perfection. He was even wearing what Toga and Twice (and he guessed Shigaraki) had picked out for him. He looked good. There was just one last thing he had to do before he could see his date. “Go home to your own fucking lives and don’t bother me until tomorrow.”

Toga pouted at him, crossing her arms over her chest. Her hair was still dreadfully uneven but Spinner had offered to correct it by cutting off her other ponytail. It looked even worse now so she stole Compress’ hat. She knew she was his friend for a reason. “Why can’t we stay here?” she whined.

“This is not your fucking house!” Dabi threw his arms up in the air, stopping himself seconds before running it through his hair and ruining all his good work (really Kurogiri’s work).

“Come on, guys. Let’s just let him go to his date.” Kurogiri tried to tug Toga away.

“Fineeeee.”

Dabi sighed and got into his car. It was a small, second-hand disaster but he loved it. He watched all his friends until they turned the corner, heading to the train station, and only then did he finally drive away.

“Is he gone?” Toga asked and Twice nodded, his head bent around the corner. She squealed, jumping up and down as she took out her phone. The contents of her bag clattered around.

Compress and Kurogiri shared a look. “What are you doing?” Compress asked.

“More like what are we doing,” Spinner corrected, a mischievous smirk spreading onto his face. Dread sunk deep in Kurogiri’s stomach. This was bad. Very bad. He wondered what would happen if he ever got a date. He then thought how sad it was that he was wondering that. He was eighteen and had never been on a date. This was one of those times where he wanted to cry.

Twice skipped back to them, stopping to look over Toga’s shoulder as she tapped away furiously on her phone. “Remember that time I tried to get him to use social media?” She didn’t look up from the screen but beckoned the rest over with her hand. Spinner took the other place by her side, poking his head forward so stare at the screen as well. Compress and Kurogiri sighed but took their place around them as well. “Well,” Toga started. “I got him to get an Snapchat account and he activated snap maps and I think he’s completely forgotten about that so I can track him now whenever I want!” She looked two seconds away from a complete Disney Villain evil cackle outburst.

Compress immediately wrangled his phone from his pocket, his mouth and eyes gaping in horror. “This is how you keep finding me, isn’t it?”

Kurogiri stared at him. “You have Snapchat?”

“Shut up, the filters are cute. Sometimes,” he added as an afterthought.

“Uh-huh.”

Compress stuck up his middle finger.

“Oh, look!” Twice pointed at the screen. “I know that street! There’s a tonne of really fancy restaurants there! He must be meeting Hawks in one of them! Oh, my God, that’s so romantic!”

Spinner moved his head up to frown at him. “How do you know this street? I thought you were dead-ass poor. It was a bonding moment for us, man!”

Twice shot his arms up in surrender. “A man can dream and pine and break his heart over things he will never have.”

Kurogiri nodded. “True.”

“Wait.” Toga tapped her lip as she watched Dabi’s icon change from sitting in a car with an obnoxious smile on his face to being just the obnoxious smile on his face. “This place is probably extremely busy.”

“Yeah, you need a booking otherwise you won’t get a table,” Twice interjected.

“Then our plan won’t work! Where are we supposed to sit so we can spy on them? I brought all the fancy mic equipment for nothing!” Her shoulders slumped and the bag fell off her back, smashing to the concrete floor.

Kurogiri eyed it. “You have fancy audio equipment in there?” She nodded sullenly. He looked from the bag to her, back to the bag before going back to her. He blinked a few times, mouth moving but no words actually coming out. He remembered all the times he’s seen her throw it around carelessly just today. She tried to throw it at Dabi’s head at one point. “Surely it’s all broken by now?”

She shrugged. “I stole Shigaraki’s. He has this extra durable case so I took it because I don’t want mine to get damaged.”

“Okay, then,” Kurogiri said, pursing his lips as he looked away, still not quite believing it but, then again, he wasn’t surprised.

“Oh!” Twice suddenly exclaimed. His eyes were wide and he looked a bit high. “There’s this café right across from it! We can watch from there! Toga, did you bring any binoculars.” Toga was hyped up for a second but as soon as she heard the last sentence, her entire body deflated again. “Oh.” Twice let out a sad sigh.

“I have binoculars.” Everyone eyes focused on Spinner. “What? Do you not want binoculars anymore?”

“Do you just carry binoculars around in your school bag casually?”

“Well, duh. I never know when I might need them and, hey, looks like now is one of those times!” He bopped Compress’ nose. He was considering punching it but Compress hadn’t done anything yet to justify being violent. He’d save the punch for another stupid jerk’s face. Maybe when Dabi gets back…

Toga clapped her hands together. “Awesome! We now have a plan! We can continue to violate our friend’s privacy for our own amusement!”

They made their way to the train station, except they had a totally different destination in mind than Dabi had hoped.

Chapter Text

ijusthado > bugsbunny

Wednesday 1 7 : 5 6

ijusthado: im here

bugsbunny: awesome im at the table behind this bush divider thingy

ijusthado: cool what name did u put the reservation under?

bugsbunny: Helda Coccen-Mihan

ijusthado: ur joking

bugsbunny: this is a serious meeting how dare you think I joke

ijusthado: I hate you

bugsbunny: don’t forget to smile for the camera! :D

»»---------------------►

It was 6:30. Dabi took a deep breath and slid out his car door, black trainer soles hitting the cold pavement. He’d decided to take Hawks to a restaurant his father had taken him to when he was younger. He never came here anymore but it was fancy and that was perfect for challenging an apparent and inevitable homeless man aesthetic. He huffed at the thought of his friends. He’d taken Kurogiri’s set of keys but the guy probably had another one hidden somewhere. He hoped they weren’t redecorating his room again. His eyes widened at the thought of his mum walking into his room and seeing… that. Nope, nope. Horrible thoughts be gone. He cringed at what he knew Twice would say if he ever heard those words. He could almost see his eyes expanding and bulging horrendously, tiny eyebrows shooting up to the heavens as the words “BEGONE THOUGHT” escape his lips. Urgh. Dabi wrinkled his nose. He can’t believe he’d spent so much time with this guy that he could even hear his annoying giggles.

Hawks stood outside the restaurant, staring at something intently on his phone. Dabi would’ve blushed at how cute his frowning face was if he wasn’t already blushing at how good he looked. The denim jacket was slightly cropped and he was wearing a simple top underneath but Hawks could pull anything off. A few bracelets sat on his wrists following a shiny watch, Dabi snorted. Who even wore watches nowadays? It was an analogue one as well.

“Hey,” Dabi smirked down at him, trying to put his most chilled demeanour on.

Hawks looked up from his phone and ran his eyes slowly over Dabi. “Hey,” he greeted back, lips upturned in a rivalling smirk. Dabi’s stomach may have done a massive trampoline flip before landing on the floor in an unfortunate spaz but Hawks will never know. Dabi would never let it show.

“Ready?” he asked, hand on the door.

“Yup!” Hawks pocketed his phone in his jacket pocket.

“After you…” Dabi pulled open the door and dramatically bowed.

“Oh, why thank you, kind sir.” Dabi couldn’t help but stare at Hawks’ butt as he sauntered past. Those jeans were way too tight; it was unfair.

They both waited until a waiter spotted them, hurrying over with a calm elegance. He brought them to a fairly secluded table by the wall and placed two menus neatly in front of them. He gave them both a swift nod and left. There were green bush dividers dotted around them, creating the illusion of privacy. For once, Dabi was happy to be there.

“So…” He grinned at Hawks and gestured around him. “What d’ya think?”

“It’s fancy,” Hawks replied without a beat. “To be honest, when you said you were taking me out somewhere I half expected it to be the shadiest bar you know. Or a McDonald’s.”

Dabi made a face. “I’m not like you. I actually have standards.”

“Hey!” He kicked his leg under the table but it was so light, it didn’t make a difference. After a moment, Hawks opened the menu, eyes scanning over everything. “They have no chicken wings,” he stated with a pout.

»»---------------------►

Hado thanked the waiter as they placed down their drinks. She’d gone for a fancy mocktail while Rumi had ordered a glass of apple juice. She did admit that maybe their outfits weren’t the best choice for the restaurant but Rumi had mentioned that Hawks was going to the cinema later on so a black hoodie, black leggings, black shoes and black hat certainly would come in handy then. She decided to ignore the constant stares being sent their way, just like how Rumi was doing.

“Psst!” Rumi whisper-yelled and Hado felt a sharp pain bloom from her shin.

“Ouch!” She doubled over on instinct. “Did you just kick me?”

“Yes, but who cares? Hawks and E-Boy of the Century just walked in!” She ducked down in her chair even though she was small enough already. Hado felt another sting burst through her leg. “Get down!”

“They can’t see us!” she whisper-yelled back but then the waiter stopped on the opposite side of their bush divider. She slunk down in her seat, eyes wide as she listened to the waiter seat them at a table against the wall.

“Um, madams, are you okay?” A different waitress hovered over their table, eyebrows slightly furrowed as she looked down at them both with a concerned expression.

“Yup! All hunky-dory!” Rumi flashed her a pearly smile and stuck up a thumb.

The waitress nodded and gave a small smile back. “Okay, then. Enjoy your meal.”

“Thank you, we will,” Rumi said casually from her low position. The waitress left but the surrounding customers’ eyes didn’t. The mischievous glint returned to Rumi’s eyes and she kicked Hado under the table again. “Look!” She pried a few plastic leaves apart to look through the bush divider.

“Oh, my God, you’re unbelievable,” Hado muttered, shaking her head but did the same thing. Hawks and Dabi were staring at each other as they flirted back and forth.

She liked to think that she and Rumi were kind of like personal guards, looking after Hawks in case any of his shitty dates turned out to be especially shitty. Luckily, it had never come to that point and they never had to intervene before. That didn’t mean Hawks knew they were there and, frankly, it had been too long since they’d started doing this for them to tell Hawks now.

A few good things had come out of it. They’d managed to catch Hawks walking into a wall after a particularly good date. They’d even managed to see KiriBaku on a date before, which was wild. Rumi desperately wanted to drop some hints to them but then they’d have to explain why they were being creepy stalkers in the first place. They weren’t creepy stalkers; this was all safety precautions because they were good friends like that.

Rumi pulled her head out of the fake bush. “I can’t see properly,” was her only explanation and she stuck her phone in the gap instead. “Urgh, I forgot how crap the camera quality is on this thing. Hado, can you try?” She batted her eyelashes obnoxiously.

“Fine.” Hado enjoyed this too much to pretend to be annoyed. When she turned on her phone, she noticed a small green banner running across the top of the screen. “Hey, why does it say I’m sharing my location with Mirio?”

Rumi shrugged, too invested in the DabiHawks situation.

“Wait.” Hado’s eyes widened and she stood up from her chair, head frantically snapping from corner to corner, trying to find a certain mop of blonde hair. She bit her lip and then froze when the restaurant door opened. Her eyes met dark purple ones immediately. “Oh, fuck, no.”

»»---------------------►

Mirio and Amajiki stepped off the train. A lot of people were looking at them.

“Where was this cosplay exactly?” Amajiki asked, trying to hide his face as much as he could underneath the massive hood. It wasn’t really working because he had to lift his head to see. He almost walked into a pole and Mirio acted upon instinct to save him, wishing that he had just videoed the entire thing instead.

“Uh, I don’t know,” Mirio replied with a shrug, still hunched over his phone screen as he tried to figure out which of the restaurants Hado was in. The marker wasn’t very specific. He wondered if he should take Hatsume up on one of her many offers to “improve” his phone. “I think it’s somewhere near that big venue place. You know, the one where all those singers and people go?”

Amajiki blinked at him. “That’s on the other side of the city.”

Finally, Mirio looked up. “Yeah, so?” Before Amajiki could channel his inner Bakugou, Mirio stopped in the middle of the pavement, in front of a row of restaurants and cafés. “I think this is it.” He motioned stiffly towards the fanciest looking one, the fake armour not allowing very much mobility.

Amajiki’s heart sank. This was a place of stature. Only people with opinions would be inside. After the many years of dumbness, he was fine with walking into a Burger King or McDonald’s looking like a product of an elven lord and Gandalf, but walking into a fancy place with smartly dressed waiters and little fairy lights for mood lighting was a different story.

Mirio opened the door and pushed Amajiki in. When he looked up, the first thing he saw was her baby blue eyes. Her mouth hung open as she stared at him in disbelief. Fuck.

“Hello, welcome. Do you have a reservation?” A waiter with a curly, red moustache appeared in front of them, hands clasped.

Mirio beamed at them. “No, we don’t but do you have a table for two?”

The man’s lips tightened and he gave them an apologetic smile. “Sorry, often we’re very busy and it’s best to book a table beforehand.”

“Oh. Okay. Thanks anyway!” He waved and pulled a frozen Amajiki outside. The door shut calmly behind them. Only the slight bustle of cars on the road and people’s nearby chatter rang through the air. “What now?”

“Hado was there.”

“Wait, really?” Mirio looked back at the restaurant. “We were so close! What do you think she was doing here?”

Amajiki shrugged. “Maybe a date?” The both of them, during their many hours of conspiring, had come to the conclusion that Hado was either secretly dating someone (not unheard of, especially after Kirishima and Bakugou came out). Either that, or she was in a cult.

Mirio’s eyes lit up from behind the little slits in the war helmet. “Oh, did you see who her partner is?”

Amajiki shook his head. “She was wearing all black, though.”

“Maybe she was trying to disguise herself. Do you know what? We should wait somewhere until they come out and then we’ll finally have answers!”

“You sound insane.”

“We came out all this way! Might as well do something, right?” Mirio was met with dull, unconvinced eyes. The shadows from the hood hid half of Amajiki’s face and he looked a bit like a creepy serial killer. “Fine, I’ll buy you food.”

It took a while but Amajiki finally replied. “Fine,” he mumbled and let himself be pulled to the café across the street.

»»---------------------►

“Hey, it’s my turn!” Toga whined as she wrestled Twice for the binoculars.

“Please don’t break my binoculars,” Spinner said from his seat. They all sat at the long bar table at the window, multiple dodgy things like the audio kit, cameras and binoculars spread out in front of them. The baristas spared them a few worried looks but Kurogiri flirted with one and calmed them all down. Kurogiri was a surprisingly smooth guy and pick up lines rolled off his tongue like water off a duck’s back. He was the best at flirting out of the group, although it wasn’t like he had much competition.

Spinner bought Compress a hot chocolate, repayment for stealing his drink earlier. The drink was somehow too bland and too sweet at the same time. Twice’s cheek had bloomed into an ugly purple-blue thing and he had managed to convince Toga that the only correct way to fix her hair was to cut off her other ponytail. Obviously.

They’d managed to catch the next train and even found Dabi’s car sitting parked for 15 whole minutes before Dabi got out. Twice cracked a joke and then proceeded to laugh at it very loudly. Somehow, Dabi didn’t notice them from across the street. He liked Bird Boi more than he let on.

The café door chimed and a rush of cold air entered the warm space. Kurogiri looked up from where he was leaned against the front counter, still chatting up that guy at the till. Two idiots stepped into the café. One of them looked like an Aztec warrior who didn’t quite get the fashion memo and the other looked like a character from a DnD campaign. The warrior man grinned from behind his helmet, his cheeks pressing probably painfully against the harsh plastic and pulled down the hood of the other. Spiky purple hair sprung into the air, matching the spiky elf ears that now made themselves known. The purple-haired man sunk further into a hunch. It was as if the hood was the only thing that gave him any life and without it, he was the living reincarnation of sulking Romeo at the beginning of the play.

The warrior man stalked up to the counter, bright smile making Spinner’s eyes want to bleed. His voice was loud. The purple-haired man glanced around, probably looking for a place to sit when he spotted him. Their eyes met and the purple eyes widened before the man quickly looked away again, scuttling off to a table in the furthest corner away from them. Spinner scowled. He knew that his appearance wasn’t exactly normal but it wasn’t that strange. Many people had the same condition as him. His skin just looked a little different. And it wasn’t like it was super noticeable. Sure, on some days it was pretty noticeable. He looked like he had scaly skin but it was getting better! He hadn’t had someone react to his appearance like that in quite a while. He guessed he was getting used to being accepted and not judged, which he shouldn’t be. He needed to expect this so he wouldn’t always feel hurt.

“Whatever,” he huffed and turned back to look out the window. That guy was wearing elf ears. He stole Compress’ hot chocolate once again.

“What’s the point in buying me hot chocolate if you’re just going to take it again?”

“Perish, peasant.”

Things were going fine and his mood had levelled out again until he noticed the blond warrior man dragging the purple jerk over to where they were sitting. They took the two empty spots left and placed their cups down on the bar table. Purple eyes slid over to his again and Spinner glared at him. The guy quickly ducked his head, averting his gaze. Coward, Spinner thought. The purple-haired man whispered something to the other guy, causing him to spin his head to face them, almost giving himself whiplash in the process. He stared at the group with an open mouth. Toga and Twice were still spying on Dabi so they didn’t notice anything happening around them. Compress was trying to sneakily get his hot chocolate back. It wasn’t working, so he didn’t notice the two either. Kurogiri was being a slut. That, Spinner could forgive because Kurogiri was long overdue for some action. He had to deal with a cry-baby man-child every day, after all.

He was about to snap at the two costumed idiots when the blond spoke first. “Hey! My friend is really shy but he watches your YouTube channel!”

This grabbed everyone’s attention.

“What?” Spinner said dumbly. The purple-haired man blushed and hid his face.

“He thinks you’re all really cool!” The blonde man reiterated, smile broadening.

“Oh, my God!” Toga squealed, forgetting the binoculars and bounding over to them both, almost tripping over her chair. Twice was right behind her (he actually did trip), jumping up and down like a little child who had just been given a bag of jelly beans. “We have a fan!”

“Is he talking about Shig’s channel? He actually watches that bullshit?” Compress whispered from next to him.

Toga pulled the overwhelmed purple guy into a hug. Spinner’s heart calmed down and he tried to not think about how he totally misjudged the man, even if his outfit was totally judge-worthy. “Want a selfie?” she asked, already pulling out her phone. Twice popped around the other side, smiling into the camera. It was a terrible picture as the guy in the middle looked absolutely terrified.

“I’m Mirio.” The warrior man stuck out his hand to Spinner.

“Spinner,” he replied warily but shook it.

“Cool, that’s Amajiki.” Mirio gestured to purple man.

“That’s Gremlin 1 and Gremlin 2.” Spinner nodded his head towards Toga and Twice.

“And you’re Gremlin 3,” Compress muttered, an empty cup sitting in front of him. It was as sad as he was.

Spinner went on to introduce every person and then when they found out they were both spying on their friends’ dates who were both in the same restaurant, they teamed up. Mirio and Amajiki also got a lot of shit for their “stupid ass costumes”. Twice had started watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine recently though and said “nice ‘stumes, bro”. Everyone groaned. If Spinner had any of Compress’ hot chocolate left, he would’ve thrown it on him.

»»---------------------►

“Hado! What’re you doing?” Rumi hissed, sinking low in her chair once again as if that didn’t attract attention itself. A small frown had made itself comfortable between Hado’s eyes and she pursed her lips as she watched Amajiki and Mirio bumble back into the cold outside air. They had the weirdest costumes but she wasn’t surprised. “Get down! You’re going to blow our cover!” Rumi tried to kick her shin again but she was too small and her legs missed. A trickle of relief settled in Hado as she sat back down. She was sure dark purple bruises were forming on her skin.

“Mirio’s been tracking me,” she admitted, tucking a loose strand of blue hair back under her hat. Eventually, she just pulled it off. It was getting stuffy under there and her hair needed to breathe.

Rumi’s eyes bulged out her sockets. “Wait, what?!”

“They just entered the restaurant looking like they came from some Greek Myth play.” Rumi raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, I don’t know either.”

Rumi poked her tongue out as she tried to position herself to see over the hedges while not blowing their cover. She was too short and failed. “Where are they?”

“Oh, they left.” Hado checked her gap in the bush leaves. Hawks and Dabi were still chatting, Hawks smiling like an idiot while Dabi failed to look like a stoic, emotionally constipated edge lord. He was inching towards just constipated. Hado took a picture, adding another to the growing folder Rumi had. She then opened their messaging app and texted Amajiki. After a few minutes and no reply, she messaged Mirio. The ‘seen’ icon popped up almost immediately but no reply came. She let out a harsh breath through her nose.

»»---------------------►

It had been a while and the group had gotten bored watching a dull dinner date from an awkward angle across the street. Naturally, they descended into chaos and gotten kicked out of the café, much to Kurogiri’s despair. Toga was going to spam Shigaraki but Compress prevented her future funeral from happening so soon. She pouted and decided to post an embarrassing picture of him on Instagram. Her phone blew up from the likes and the comments, warming her heart with the fake validation.

“You should probably reply to Hado,” Amajiki repeated for the millionth time.

“Ssh.” Mirio pressed a finger to Amajiki’s unimpressed lips and then walked away, nervous grin painting his face.

“Oh, hey, look. They’re finally leaving,” Spinner deadpanned.

Toga squealed and grabbed his waist, pinning him behind a car. Twice screamed and hid inside Amajiki’s cloak. Kurogiri and Compress walked to the side of the pavement and melded into the shadows casually.

“What was that?” Hawks’ eyes darted around the street when he heard the scream pierce the air. All he saw were two cosplayers, probably drunk, standing awkwardly. Actually, one looked like he was trying to smuggle something inside his coat. They weren’t doing a very good job of being subtle.

Dabi shrugged. “Probably someone getting murdered.” He tugged Hawks’ arm. “Come on, we’re gonna be late.”

“Dude!” Spinner pushed Toga off him when Dabi and Hawks’ entered Dabi’s shitty car.

“Be thankful!” She poked his chest. “I saved your dumb ass!”

“And you saved mine!” A muffled voice exclaimed from where Amajiki was.

“I’d be confused but there’s a group of teenagers I know who are no different.”

Kurogiri peeled Twice off Amajiki, like a cat off their old granny lady caretaker. “Open Snapchat. We need to find out where he’s going.”

“AHA! I knew you were enjoying this!” Toga did a very weird dance, no shame in any passerby seeing her.

Kurogiri sighed and let Twice go. “Just find him.”

“Sure thing, boss man!” It only took a few taps for Dabi’s hideous icon to appear, the ugly grin bobbing around on a too-big head sticking out a car. “I don’t know where he’s going.” They all watched the icon move around the screen. None of them noticed two, not-subtle-at-all girls dressed in complete black run from the restaurant to the train station, both giggling maniacally.

The car icon finally stopped at a cinema. “I think they’re going to see a movie.”

Spinner slapped the back of Twice’s head. “Well done, Einstein.” Twice grumbled as they ran to the train station, Amajiki trying his best not to trip over his cloak and Toga ensuring that he did. She cackled and ran away faster.

They got a lot of disapproving stares on the train. Amajiki wanted to curl in on himself but the group didn’t seem to care. They laughed loudly as Mirio tried to feign his own obnoxious enjoyment but was really just dying on the inside.

They got to the cinema ten minutes later.

“Rumi?!” Mirio gasped when he saw the unmistakable cascade of white hair. Both girl’s eyes snapped to his, wide and looking caught. Slowly, they drifted over to the eccentric group by their sides. “Wait, you’re dating Rumi?”

Amajiki blinked. “Why are you dressed like you just walked out of Thief Simulator?”

Twice gasped loudly. “Finally! Someone who watches GrayStillPlays! Our fan is my soulmate!”

“Uh…” Rumi glanced around. She was still half facing Hado. It looked as though they had walked in on a very serious conversation.

“Huh, I guess mystery solved,” Mirio said. “I can’t believe it’s been Rumi this whole time! Damn, right under our noses! You two hid it very well. I never would’ve guessed in school. Sorry, sorry!” He interrupted himself. “We’ll let you get back to your date!” Nobody moved until Compress coughed loudly and it was as if the spell had broken; everyone knocked out of their daze.

“Okay, wait, woah, woah, woah!” Hado move her arms around frantically as she tried to stop the group from leaving. “First of all, we’re not dating.”

“Yeah, you would never be able to take dating me. I’m way to feminine and strong for your weak-ass taste.”

“Shut up.”

“No.”

“Okay, anyway, how can you insult our outfits when you’re acting out The Dragon Prince and have a warrior of Sparta next to you?”

Toga poked Kurogiri’s cheek. “Who are these people?”

“Escapees from the insane asylum.”

“Oh.” She paused. “Do you think they’re fans of our YouTube channel as well?”

Kurogiri didn’t answer.

“EXCUSE!” Mirio gaped at them. “I’ll have you know these wondrous articles of clothing came from Yaoyorozu herself!”

Amajiki pulled off elf ears. They rolled on the ground, pale, floppy things that deserve only to be burned. “I hate them too.”

Twice dove for the elf ears. “My elf ears!” he exclaimed in a voice similar to Yoda’s. Hado recoiled when he walked past her.

“Besides,” Mirio continued, “they blended in perfectly; perfect disguises!”

“No.”

“Fine, then if this was not a date then what was it? You weren’t actually going to steal stuff, were you?”

“No!” Rumi huffed. “We’re spying on Hawks! We’re just trying to decide which movie they went for. It was one of the only things he didn’t tell me…”

“Oh.” That wasn’t the answer he was expecting. “Wait… Hawks is here?”

“Wait, you know Hawks?” Toga said at the same time.

Rumi’s eyebrow raised. “How do you know Hawks? I ensure crazy people stay far away from him.”

“Well, I’ve never actually met him, only taken photos of him.” She giggled like it was the most natural thing.

Amajiki’s eyes widened. He’d been hanging around this creep for the past hour. “What?”

Kurogiri swooped in as damage control as Twice mooned over his new elf ears. Compress and Spinner just watched everything go down. “Eh, she means that she was just scoping out who Dabi’s date was.”

Rumi nodded her head in understanding at that and Kurogiri sighed. “Yeah, I get you.” Realisation flashed across her face. “YOU’RE DABI’S FRIENDS!”

“Debatable,” Compress muttered.

“WE’RE HAWKS’ FRIENDS!” She motioned towards herself, Hado, a scarred Amajiki and a worried Mirio. “Were you stalking their date? Because we were too!”

“Um, Rumi,” Hado placed a gentle hand on her arm, trying to calm her down. “Maybe this isn’t something you should shout in a public area.”

“Oh, my God! We so were!” Toga joined Rumi in jumping up and down in excitement.

“Do you know what movie they were going to see? We can’t figure it out…” Rumi pulled Toga over to the movie listings for the evening.

“Hmm, not the rom-com. Or the comedy. Ew, kids movies, blech. Oh, I actually want to see this one…” Toga tilted her head to the side, debating each movie. It didn’t take long before they landed on one and returned to the group of confused guys and Hado. They bought the tickets and Kurogiri ended up paying for his friends as he was the ‘Dad’. They shuffled into the screen room as quietly as they could, ducking low to stay out of Dabi and Hawks line of sight. Mirio had taken off his helmet because it attracted too much attention and brought eyes to them. Hado and Rumi were practically invisible. They settled down on one of the side rows. Twice bought popcorn and mumbled quietly to himself during the entire movie, providing his own commentary that no one could understand.

“Oh, my God, they’re sharing popcorn!” Toga whispered not very quietly to Rumi. Hado tried to take a picture but it was too dark. A lot of people hated on them. They left the screen room with the crowd.

“You know what? That was actually a very good movie,” Twice reflected as they all stood outside the building. It was much darker now and very cold but he was running on a sugar high. “Ten out of ten! Would definitely recommend stalking Dabi and Hawks’ dates again!”

His train arrived and he left, Kurogiri in tow. Toga was the last to leave, chatting more with Hado and Rumi. She hugged them both quickly before running for her train.

llama jaws go hard

Thursday 0 0 : 2 1

bugsbunny added stabbystabby to llama jaws go hard

stabbystabby added daboi, shiggy, kurokillme, twice, spinner, compress the depression to llama jaws go hard

shiggy: what is this

shiggy: I did not ask for this

shiggy left llama jaws go hard

stabbystabby added shiggy to llama jaws go hard

shiggy: this gc name is the worst thing ive ever seen

twice: I like it

twice: YEEHAW

compress the depression: no

spinner: HAWYEE

kurokillme: rumi u made a mistake

bugsbunny: im realising that now

stabbystabby: too late :D

Thursday 0 7 : 0 4

daboi: what is this

daboi: hawks what did u do

BirdBoi: :0

BirdBoi: I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING

daboi: then how am I here

daboi: oh god

Chapter Text

School Show Crew

Thursday 1 3 : 5 2

yaomomo: hi everyone! I just wanted to let you know that rehearsal is cancelled today but will be back on next week!

HatsToMe: ohhhh ok hopefully everything is ok on your side!

yaomomo: thanks!

Spiralling To Death: oh yeah bakugou burned down your dorm

TETSUTETSU: HOPE EVERYONES OKAY

vinegirl: whered you all sleep

earphonejack: whos spiralling to death

Spiralling To Death: Sen

Spiralling To Death: Kaibara

yaomomo: most people went home

earphonejack: oh uh nice name ig

Spiralling To Death: thanks

yaomomo: and those who didn’t used spare dorms or the spare beds in the nurse’s office

BirdBoi: oh yeah I kinda forgot abt the fire

bugsbunny: ye cuz u were too busy getting that dick

Iida Tenya: Rumi! This is a school group chat! Please refrain from using that kind of language!

bugsbunny: yeah bro nah

uravity: that was a valiant attempt iida

calamari: lol

calamari: BUT SPILL THE TEA HAWKS HAS A BOYFRIEND????

tokosalami: whos deranged enough to date hawks?

BirdBoi: :0

BirdBoi: BETRAYED BY MY OWN KIND

tokosalami: IM NOT A BIRD

SueYou: well I saw u that one time eating seeds as if u were pecking them

tokosalami: ???

shinsomniac: ngl but u sit like a bird

tokosalami: how does a bird sit????

hagakurara: like u

izookoo: they squat and then nestle down until they’re comfy

calamari: lol Tokoyami squatting

calamari: working out those thighs boi

HatsToMe: u guys get distracted really easily

calamari: damn u right

calamari: WHO WANTS TO SEE WHO CAN BE THE MOST DISTRACTED

uravity: darling theres no point you’ve already won

calamari: fucking dammit

ijusthado: believe me I would say hawks bf is deranged but his friends are even weirder

calamari: ooh moving fast already meeting the family i see

Suneater: they’re scary

Class 5A

Thursday 1 6 : 4 7

yaomomo: Aizawa says we can share dorms with someone from another class while the dorm building’s getting checked

Die: fuck that im going home

yaomomo: or you can stay w ur parents until everything’s ok

yaomomo: yup that’s fine Aizawa just needs to know

calamari: oh thank god I don’t want to sleep in the infirmary beds

calamari: oh wait who can I share with?

calamari: fuck

Red Riot: dw im sure someone will share with u

Red Riot: tetsu’s letting me stay in his dorm for the next few days so maybe ask someone in one of the other classes?

earphonejack: u could always ask a certain someone hmm

calamari: shut up

aoyamaman?: ooh there’s tea?

calamari: no there’s no tea

uravity: lol what utter lies

calamari: what no there’s no tea there’s no tea! aaaaaaa how is this happening

Ojiyes: yes cuz that’s def the reaction of no tea

aoyamaman?: exactement!

Die: shut up u fuckers leave him alone

Red Riot: so manly TT.TT

Die: omg u shut up too

Red Riot: gladly ;)

izookoo: I support u guys but pls stop

todoloki: get a room

calamari: oh fuck that reminds me I need to find someone to put up w me!

ya bois listen to yer daddy

Thursday 1 6 : 5 8

uravity: @shinsomniac hellloooooooooo

shinsomniac: hello?

uravity: oh good ur actually here

uravity: read the 5a chat

shinsomniac: ok?

shinsomniac: oh fuck

shinsomniac: OH FUCK

SueYou: congrats gay revelation over now go ask him

izookoo: oh yeah! this is a perfect opportunity for you! it’s friendly and nice

todoloki: just make sure it’s not creepy

shinsomniac: ITS CREEPY???

shinsomniac: omg I cant do this

uravity: it’s not creepy! lots of ppl are sharing dorms!

SueYou: well it can be creepy

uravity: both of u stop! it’s NOT creepy

uravity: @Iida Tenya convince this dumb bitch

Iida Tenya: While I do not condone this language, Shinsou you have nothing to worry about. Most of 5A is rooming with others right now. You are not creepy.

uravity: see! it’s fine!

izookoo: yeah! now go get ur man!

todoloki: sorry if I hurt you. go get ur man

SueYou: sorry! it was just a joke GO GET UR MANS SHIN

izookoo: lol mans shin…. mansion

uravity: ok???

shinsomniac: thanks ill text him now then

uravity: chill those nerves

shinsomniac > calamari

Thursday 1 7 : 0 9

shinsomniac: hey u can stay in my dorm until u can go back if u need somewhere to stay

Dumbfucks

Thursday 1 7 : 1 3

calamari sent (1) image

calamari: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Alien Queen: YAY

earphonejack: well have u replied?

calamari: NO?

calamari: IM TOO BUSY SCREAMING

Die: WELL WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR U DUMBFUCK

serolater: gotta go with bakubro on this one

Red Riot: yeah! go get ur man!

calamari: OKAY OKAY AAAAAAAA

Die: IMMA KICK UR ASS

earphonejack: NO WE DO NOT NEED ANY MORE BURNING BUILDINGS

serolater: oh yeah how do u two not have detention or been suspended or something

calamari: oh well they were looking into it and we didn’t actually cause the fire

calamari: this thing was stuck in the vents and there were a bunch of wires and shit and ig something overheated or something

calamari: idk they just found this really burnt thing

Die: HOW WOULD WE EVEN BURN THE BUILDING???

serolater: tbh I just always thought bakugou would get so angry he would just explode and take everyone out w him

serolater: but then u both came back alive so I thought it was the fire gods

Red Riot: yeah they brought their little fire demons like in frozen 2

Alien Queen: NO I HAVENT SEEN IT YET

Red Riot: it’s good u should watch it

calamari: when did u see it?

Die: he went w me shitface

serolater: yeah I haven’t seen it either so we could go as a group

earphonejack: ive also seen it so no thanks

Alien Queen: OwO?

earphonejack: I went with momo

Alien Queen: aaaaaaaaa ;D

earphonejack: no! it was just a friendly thing!

calamari: sure jan

earphonejack: I swear! I don’t even know if she likes girls!

Red Riot: well time to fix that

Red Riot: bois roll out!

Red Riot: but kami first text shinsou

calamari: yes yes father

calamari > shinsomniac

Thursday 1 7 : 3 2

calamari: OHMYGOD THANK YOU YES THANK YOU

shinsomniac: dw abt it

shinsomniac: u know where my dorm is right?

calamari: … yes

calamari: ur never going to forget that are u

shinsomniac: a little hard to forget a guy who steals ur coffee and then calls u mr sexy first thing in the morning

calamari: omg im so sorry I did not mean to say that or take ur coffee

shinsomniac: dw its fine im not traumatised

calamari: good good good

calamari: so I’ll c u later?

shinsomniac: yeah c ya later

MinetaTheSexyBeast > calamari

Thursday 2 1 : 5 4

MinetaTheSexyBeast: did they figure out what was in the vents?

calamari: no its was super burnt

MinetaTheSexyBeast: ah ok just wondering

calamari: same bro im super curious at what it was

calamari: why would anyone even put stuff in the vents?

MinetaTheSexyBeast: well there are reasons

calamari: lol in what? spy movies?

calamari: anyway im going to bed gn!

MinetaTheSexyBeast: night

Chapter Text

The Teachers’ Lounge

Thursday 2 1 : 5 8

Midnight: u know what, shouta I’m proud of you

Midnight: u haven’t expelled any students this year

Midnight: could it be that you actually like your class?

Eraser Head: no, they’re all problem children

Be Vlad I’m Your King: I just had a flashback to when he used to always say ‘logical ruse’

Present King: that’s not a flashback if he still does it

cementYEET: true

All Might: what does ‘yeet’ mean

No. 13: ken why

cementYEET: what?

cementYEET: I’m a modern lit teacher; I gotta keep with the times

fornitesniper: ur a little behind the times

Midnight: snipe u really can’t say anything

fornitesniper: I know… I’m getting old :(

Nezu: Aizawa how has ur investigation been going?

Present Mic: what is this? investigation owo?

Eraser Head: I think we’re going to need to close the dorms for a little longer

Eraser Head: the wires seem to stretch through most of the vents, especially the ones in the girls’ bathrooms

All Might: no one answered my question but is this to do with the fire?

All Might: I thought there was barely any damage to the dorms?

Eraser Head: you’re correct but we did discover something hidden in the vents which probably caused the fire

Eraser Head: we don’t know how or what it was but we’re investigating

Nezu: good, Aizawa keep me posted

Eraser Head: of course

Hound Dog: (psst yagi, ‘yeet’, according to dictionary.com ‘is an exclamation of excitement, approval, surprise, or all-around energy, often as issued when doing a dance move or throwing something’)

All Might: ah thank you

Ectoplasm: did u actually google the meaning of yeet

Hound Dog: … yes

fornitesniper: oh my god we really are old

Chapter Text

Dumbfucks

Thursday 2 2 : 1 5

Alien Queen: psst @calamari how’s ur night going? ;)

calamari: it’s going fine

Alien Queen: wait what

Alien Queen: did something happen???

Red Riot: do u need us to break in and do an emergency rescue???

Die: finally a good enough excuse to beat up that fucker

Red Riot: Katsuki no :(

calamari: why r u all panicking nothing happened

calamari: we’re just watching a movie

serolater: a movie huh ;D

calamari: get those filthy winks away from me

earphonejack: u literally wink at ppl all the time

calamari: ssshhhh

Alien Queen: so everything’s ok?

Alien Queen: how come there’s been no gc screaming

Red Riot: yeah it’s been strangely quiet ever since you went to his room

earphonejack: o.o

Die: what. are u two fucking or something?

calamari: OMG NO

calamari: WTF BAKUBRO

calamari: oh god im so red rn I hope shinsou doesn’t notice

calamari: oh he’s on his phone too its fine phew

serolater: are you two even watching the movie?

serolater: hello?

Alien Queen: :0 he patched us

earphonejack: accept the once in a lifetime blissful silence and move on

ya bois listen to yer daddy

Thursday 2 2 : 1 8

shinsomniac: kaminari’s so cute

shinsomniac: he thinks he’s being subtle but he’s tilting his phone my way and I can see the entire bakusquad chat

Iida Tenya: I trust you are not reading it as that would be an invasion of privacy

SueYou: forget Iida (soz love u bro) but WHAT IS THE BAKUSQUAD CHAT LIKE

shinsomniac: well I haven’t actually read it only glimpsed parts of it but it seems fairly normal there’s no intense screaming like how I would’ve thought

shinsomniac: u know I always imagined Bakugou to be like that angry screaming letter from Harry Potter

shinsomniac: oh kami’s very red right now

todoloki: what did u do

shinsomniac: I didn’t do anything!

shinsomniac: I think

shinsomniac: whatever I’m just going to go back to watching the movie

uravity: nice a movie ;)

shinsomniac: it’s just a movie

uravity: put ur arm around him

shinsomniac: no

shinsomniac: okay

uravity: :)

Alien Queen added serolater, Red Riot, Die, earphonejack to shinkami detective squad

Thursday 2 2 : 2  4

earphonejack: oh god not another gc I just want p e a c e

Alien Queen: tough shit

Alien Queen: something happened

Red Riot: I agree, kami’s acting weird

serolater: damn kiri’s using punctuation he must be serious

earphonejack: he literally used one comma and an apostrophe

serolater: I don’t even know those words

Die: are we killing shinsou or not

Red Riot: NO

Alien Queen: hmm depends

Red Riot: :0

Alien Queen: we need to investigate what happened before

Alien Queen: shinkami detective squad roll out! Meet in the common area

serolater: welp looks like we’re going to have to put the momo investigation on hold

Red Riot: our bro’s health and safety is more important now

earphonejack: I’m sorry what

earphonejack: why r u investigating momo

earphonejack: U SHITS WHAT HAVE U DONE

Alien Queen: panic later, shinkami now

Die: where the fuck are u fucks

serolater: chilli mcmilly bakubro jesus

earphonejack: Mina where the fuck r u

earphonejack: u can’t tell me to hurry up and then be this slow

earphonejack: we’re all here

Alien Queen: chilli mcmilly jibro jesus

earphonejack: I hate everything

Chapter Text

Mina entered 5B’s common room completely clad in black clothing. She wore black leggings, a black hoodie that Kiri was 100% sure she stole from him and a sparkly black beanie to cover her bright pink hair. Tiny tufts of it stuck out from under the beanie, obscuring her eyes slightly but her grin still shined like a stubborn, fat caterpillar on her face.

“What?” Bakugou asked, but it came out as a statement. He glared at her from the couch, arms crossed but his bad boy aesthetic was totally undermined by Kirishima tying tiny ponytails into his hair with Jirou’s pink and purple hair bobbles. Sero snickered as he silently filmed the entire thing.

Jirou’s unimpressed eyes bore into Mina’s. “Why are you dressed like a burglar?”

Mina let out a loud gasp. “I’m trying to be subtle! We’re on a detective mission here, remember?”

“So subtle,” Bakugou muttered dryly. Kirishima kept messily braiding his hair, bopping his fluffy shark slipper clad feet in time to an imaginary rhythm.

Mina ignored him and instead went to tug at Jirou’s arm. “Come on, guys! We need to find out if Kaminari’s in danger.”

Kirishima leapt up from the sofa. “YES!” His eyes burned fiercely and Jirou squinted her eyes at Bakugou.

“Did you slip him something?”

“He only slipped him his looove,” Sero said as he giggled. The phone shook in his hand. Mina stared at him. He was unusually giggly, and his eyes darted around everywhere. A light pink tinged his skin, high on his cheeks. The only other time Mina had seen him like this was when that one time he got the flu and was high on cough syrup.

Kirishima tugged at Bakugou’s arm. “Let’s go save our bro!”

Sero followed the ramshackle group to Ibara’s room (where Mina was staying currently) to discuss the ‘game plan’. Ibara wasn’t there. Surprisingly, 5B had a lot of small parties where they’d just get together and play board games with stupidly high stakes. “Why didn’t we just meet here?” Jirou asked.

“Sssshhhh. Stop pointing out the gaps in my logic brain juices.” Mina spread a sheet of paper out on her desk and Sero peered over her shoulder, Kirishima doing the same on the other side. “We need a plan. I think we should first target the Dekusquad- no, Bakugou, you’re not talking to them,” she said as him mouth opened. Bakugou scowled and flopped over her bed.

“Yeah, the Dekusquad probably knows what happened!” Kirishima agreed, eyes gleaming.

Mina slammed the sheet of paper down on her desk triumphantly, the other hand punching the air and just barely missing Sero’s face. “We have a plan! Right, squad, roll out!” The trio ran out the room, Kirishima briefly re-entering to grab Bakugou around his waist and carry him away.

“Hey! Shitty hair, put me down!”

Jirou stared at the open door, now slowly closing by itself. “But… that wasn’t even a proper plan…” She sighed and followed after them.

»»---------------------►

“Ra-Ra!” Mina yelled as she banged on Hado’s dorm door. Uraraka had chosen to stay with Hado for the time being. “Ra-Ra! This is an emergency!”

“FBI! Open up!” Sero called out from behind her.

“What?” Uraraka muttered, opening the door with tired eyes. Her pink sleeping mask was squint and slowly dropping down over her face. “It’s almost eleven… what the heck, guys?” She yawned.

“We think something happened to Denki and Shinsou,” Mina blurted out and Uraraka snapped her eyes wide open.

“Wait! What?” She pushed her sleeping mask to the top of her head with frantic hands, messing her hair up as she did so. “B-but they were just watching a movie! What happened?” Her legs danced around and she looked ready to spring away. “We should tell Iida! Or Momo! Oh, my God, what happened?” She brought her hands up to her face as she nibbled on her bottom lip like a beaver going through logs.

Bakugou placed two hands on her shoulders, stopping her from running off. “Fucking stop!” She blinked dumbly up at him.

“Is that a hickey?” she asked after a second, squinting her eyes at the purple bruise on his neck.

His face went bright red. “No!” he burst out, covering his neck with his hand. “You don’t know shit! F-fuck you!” He stormed away but came back a few seconds later to angrily stand next to Kirishima. “Can we go beat up Eyebags now?”

“No,” Mina patted his shoulder swiftly, drawing her hands back quickly but calmly before Bakugou bit them off like a feral dog. “We need to get the details. So,” she said, turning back to Uraraka, “what do you know?”

“What?”

“I don’t think she knows anything,” Kirishima whispered.

“Oh.” Mina seemed sad.

Jirou rolled her eyes. “Sorry to bother you, Uraraka…” She smiled as she began to pull Mina away and down the corridor.

“No! Wait!” Uraraka held onto Mina’s other hand, stopping them from moving. “You said Shinsou and Kaminari are in trouble! What happened? Are they hurt? Did something happen?” She was beginning to panic again.

The door opened behind her and Hado walked out, stretching her arms above her head and yawning. Her blue hair was ruffled and messy. “You guys are being very loud,” she stated but her eyes widened when she saw Uraraka. “Wait, is everything okay?”

“We’re trying to find clues as to what’s happened to Kaminari and Shinsou,” Jirou deadpanned.

“Oh. OK. Is that why Mina’s dressed all in black?”

“Yes.”

Before Jirou could continue, Hado squealed. “This is perfect! Hold on, I’ll be right back!” She disappeared behind her door.

“Uraraka, what’s happening?” Bakugou asked.

“I don’t know.”

Sero snapped his head in Bakugou’s direction. He seemed to be going through weird phases. “How come you called Uraraka by her name? You only insult us!”

“The difference between you and Uraraka is that I respect her and not you.” Sero huffed as he turned away, letting himself pout. Hado reappeared again, wearing her black hoodie, leggings and hat. Mina gasped in delight. “What is this?” Bakugou spat.

Hado shrugged as she grinned. “I’m gonna help you with your detective case!”

“Oh, my God!” Mina pounced on her, both hugging and strangling her. “Someone who gets me!” The entire group stared at them, eyes squinted in confusion. Sero noticed that Kiri and Bakugou were “subtly” holding hands. He turned to point it out to Kami but realised that only Uraraka was there.

“Oh! I know someone else who can help us!” Hado sprinted down the hallway, stopping at a door at the very end. “Rumi!” she called as she bashed her fist against it. No one answered. She tried again and seemed genuinely flabbergasted that no one opened it. “Huh, maybe she’s not here,” she wondered aloud and dragged Mina to the staircase a few metres away from them. The group followed them (Baku grumbling to himself as it was late and he was tired) and found Hado now banging away at a door with a sticker of red wings on it.

Hawks opened the door after a few seconds, a deep scowl on his face. “Hado, what is it? It’s late and I want to sleep.”

Hado raised an eyebrow as she took in his slightly mussed hair and crumpled pyjamas. “You never sleep early.”

“It’s been a busy month. I’m tired.”

Mina flashed Hawks a big smile and waved from Hado’s side. He gave her a half-smile in return but then moved to close the door. “No, wait!” Hado shoved her foot in the way to stop the door from closing fully. “I was just wondering if you knew where Rumi was?”

Hawks sighed but opened his mouth to answer. He was cut off as the door swung open again, except this time it was someone else who pulled it open. A lanky guy with fire red hair and turquoise blue eyes glared at Hado and Mina. “No, he doesn’t so fuck off and leave us alone.” The door shut with a thud and the entire group gaped in silence.

Hado was the first to react. “Well, fuck you too!” she yelled at the closed door and stormed down the corridor before realising that she was going the wrong way and angrily turned around to head down the stairs.

“Was that Hawks’ boyfriend?” Sero said to no one.

“How did he get him in there?” Jirou muttered, perplexed.

Kirishima giggled as he tapped Bakugou’s arm. “He had the same hair as me!”

Bakugou let out a huff through his nose. “Your hair’s nicer.”

“I can’t believe that bastard!” Hado hissed under her breath as she stabbed at her phone. “Oh, guys! Rumi’s sitting outside with Tamaki!” She motioned for everyone to follow her as she ran down the stairs and out the 6^th year dorm building.

They found Rumi and Amajiki chatting on a bench nearby. Hado waved at them as she ran to them, Mina by her side. It looked a bit like two floating heads sprinting through the air, pink and blue hair bobbing around them. Amajiki was horrified. He already had nightmares. He did not need living ones.

“Hey, Hado,” Rumi said and took in the black incognito outfit that only ever came out on their date spying nights. She raised an eyebrow. “What’s with all this?”

“We’re trying to figure out what happened to Kaminari!” Mina explained, slightly out of breath from all the running.

The rest of the group caught up to them and Uraraka stopped by Mina’s side, hand resting on her shoulder as she took in a few deep breaths. “Yeah, um, w-we think that something happened to Shinsou too!” Rumi had to rack her brains to try and pinpoint who this Shinsou guy even was. She knew Kaminari from the show rehearsals and because he was just generally always active on the chat, but the Shinsou guy was quieter.

“The photographer,” Amajiki whispered to her, noticing her struggles. She gave him a thumbs up in thanks before turning to the group of 5^th years (and Hado) now gathered in front of them. Amajiki squirmed at the sudden number of people.

“Oh, hey bro!” Kirishima grinned, slapping his shoulder and he relaxed slightly. This was someone he did know out of the group of basically strangers.

“Right,” Rumi said. “Um, do you need my help?”

Hado pulled her up from the bench. “Yes. But first, why are you sitting out here in the dead of night?”

“Sitting outside at night is soothing,” Jirou whispered under her breath. Bakugou heard her and gave her a small fist bump.

Rumi’s eyes darted to Amajiki. “Uh…” She wasn’t subtle and Hado raised an eyebrow at the indigo haired guy. Amajiki opened his mouth to explain but then noticed Bakugou and Kirishima standing in the group as well. He ducked his head as his face flushed an embarrassed pink. Rumi sighed. “Kirishima and Bakugou were making out in his room and, like any sane person, he didn’t want to be there while that was happening.”

Mina smirked and turned to face Bakugou. “So you didn’t go home because you had homework to do… you just wanted to make out with your boyfriend.” Sero squinted at them out of the corner of his eyes, a mischievous grin breaking out onto his face. Uraraka tried to laugh as she looked anywhere else, although her gaze kept coming back to the duo who were now as red as Kiri’s hair.

“Jeez.” Jirou facepalmed. “What is with all the guys today? First Hawks and now you.” She paused as she realised something. “Well, I guess it was really you both first and then Hawks…”

Rumi’s eyes darted around the group. “What’s this about Hawks?”

“Shut up!” Bakugou yelled to the group, drowning out Rumi. “Are we finding Dunce Face or not?”

“I’ve given up on that…” Jirou admitted.

“No!” Mina wailed and threw her arms around Uraraka, drawing out a yelp. “We can’t give up! We don’t know what happened! Ra-Ra, where are the rest of the Dekusquad members?” She glanced up at her with big, round eyes.

“Um… Iida’s staying at home and so’s Tsuyu. Deku’s with Mirio and Todo’s with Tetsu.”

“Okay!” Hado cheered, jumping a little in her spot. “We have a plan!”

“This still isn’t a plan,” Jirou cut in but was promptly ignored.

“Let’s go to Mirio’s room!” She dashed back into the 6^th year dorm building, a cackling Mina on her tail. Rumi yelped and followed them, Amajiki trailing behind. Uraraka slipped into the building too.

Jirou glanced at the Sero, Bakugou and Kirishima. “Should we follow?”

“No.”

“Yes.” Kirishima and Bakugou both replied at the same time.

Sero pet Kiri’s cheek. “I’ll let you too lovebirds figure this out while I’m in there watching Mina kill Midoriya for answers.” He smiled and ran off.

Bakugou seethed, unsure if he could bothered to follow. If anyone got to kill Midoriya, it would be him. Kiri squeezed his hand and he decided to stay outside.

Jirou sat down on the bench where Rumi and Amajiki were sitting. She tugged at the sleeves of her pyjama top and drew her knees to her chest, resting her head on them. It was cold. “Guys, what’s the time?” Her words were mangled as she yawned.

Kiri and Bakugou both pulled out their phones. “It’s almost half eleven,” Kiri informed her.

“Fuck,” Bakugou breathed out as he scrolled through all the notifications piled up on his lock screen. “My mum’s called me, and so’s my dad. I better go.” He pecked Kiri’s cheek with a small kiss. He would best Midoriya another day.

“See you tomorrow!” Kiri waved as he left.

»»---------------------►

“What?” Midoriya blinked at the large group. “Wait! Did something happen to Shinsou? And Kaminari?”

“When was the last time you spoke to Shinsou?” Hado asked, each word clear and calm.

Midoriya’s eyebrows creased in worry as he tipped his head to the side, trying to remember. “We met outside at about nine as we were both heading to different dorm buildings.” He dug out his phone from his trouser pockets. “I think he messaged the group chat, though. Right Uraraka? Oh, yeah. That was at ten-eighteen.”

Mina checked her phone too. “That’s about the same time Kami last texted us,” she declared as she scrolled through the chat.

Mirio’s head popped out from his room, towering over Midoriya easily. “Hey, what’s this?”

“Detective investigation,” Rumi replied instantly. Amajiki looked at him with pleading, tired eyes. It was too late for this but he made the mistake of drinking coffee an hour ago when he realised that he had nowhere to go after not wanting to step into his room so went to the kitchen.

“Okay, I won’t ask.” Mirio pulled open the door wider so Amajiki could step in. He ran a hand over his face and fell into one of the massive bean bags littering the floor. Jirou and Kiri poked Sero’s shoulder, letting him know that they were now here.

“Where’d Bakugou go?” Sero inquired, swivelling his head to look at them.

“He went home,” Kiri explained. “What’d we miss?”

Uraraka wrapped Jirou in a hug to try and help warm her up. “They’re questioning Midoriya and it’s failing because they’re getting nothing.”

“We are getting info!” Mina declared, waving her phone menacingly in the air. Izuku just stood awkwardly by the wall. “We’ve discovered that whatever happened must have happened between the hours of nine and ten-eighteen pm! That gives us a window of just over one hour for this incident to have occurred. From the way Denki was texting, I’d say that whatever happened, let’s just call it Incident X, happened a bit before and Denki had time to cool down due to his messages not being ramble-y, but they were still unlike him usually, especially since he patched us.” Her words turned darker at the end as her pink brows creased.

Jirou raised an eyebrow so high that it got hidden under her bangs. “Are you still salty about that?”

“Pffft, what? No!” Mina waved her hands dismissively as she tried to chuckle lightly. “I would never be salty about something so petty.”

Rumi and Hado shared a look, but then both shrugged. “Okay,” Rumi said, taking control. “Midoriya, do you know anything else?”

He shook his head, green hair waving around and falling over his face slightly. “N-no, sorry.”

“Hmm, well then, let’s ask Todoroki what he knows and then we can head to 5C’s dorm and question anyone still awake there.”

The rest of them nodded at the plan and they marched their way to the 5B dorms. Club remixes could be heard from one of the rooms on the above floors, getting louder as they climbed the steps to the second floor. Kiri led the way as he knew where Tetsu’s room was. He also knew the guy was probably still awake. “Tetsu!” he yelled as he banged on the silver-painted door. The door flew open instantly.

Tetsu’s desperate eyes met Kiri’s and he almost fell in relief against the door. “Thank you so much, Kiribro! Here!” He pushed Todoroki’s stiff body towards them. “There, now you can do your conspiracy theories with your friends!”

“You don’t do conspiracy theories!” Todo called back. “It’s conspire!”

Tetsu didn’t care and just ran away to the upper floors. Midoriya lightly slapped Todo’s shoulders. Todoroki looked down at him, blinking from his shoulders to the short green-haired boy in front of him. “What?” he asked dumbly. Jirou had to hold in a snicker. Sero tried but couldn’t and burst out laughing.

“I told you! You can’t just say all your conspiracy theories to people! You’ll freak them out!” Midoriya exclaimed but then hugged the tall boy. Kiri just awkwardly stood there, feeling too close and as if he was ruining a special moment.

“How’s it feel now?” Mina whispered creepily in his ear and he yelped, throwing his arms up and elbowing Todoroki in the face. Sero laughed louder and fell to the floor, tears beginning to pool in his eyes.

“Mina, what the fuck?”

Rumi, Hado and Uraraka ignored them as they stepped forward, surrounding Todoroki. They were threatening group of three, short yet powerful ladies. He smiled nervously. “Uh, yes?”

“When was the last time you saw Shinsou?” Rumi queried.

“At about eight,” he mentioned slowly, eyes watching the girls with suspicion. Mina joined, flicking dust off her clothes. Kirishima and Jirou had turned to taking advantage of Sero’s laughter to torture him with tickles. He was still crying on the floor. He, somehow, had the most blackmail material on everyone in the Bakusquad so Kiri was trying to balance the scales.

“How was he acting?” Hado wondered.

“…Normally?”

Rumi sighed. “Okay, he has nothing. Time to move on.”

“Agreed.” Uraraka petted Todoroki’s shoulder sympathetically. He was like a confused puppy.

“Jibro, Kiribro, Sebro!” Mina called. Jirou snorted and took one last picture of Sero just lying on the hallway floor before leaving him. Kiri picked him up and began to carry him.

“Hold on!” Uraraka held up her phone and blocked his way.

Kiri frowned. “What are you doing?”

She giggled and Mina caught on, grinning alongside her. “Just sending some wonderful thirst picks to Baku of his strong, strong boyfriend.” She took a picture before her sentence finished. Sero immediately vaulted out Kiri’s arms, landing on the floor with a splat.

“No!” he wailed. “Please! He’ll kill me! Like, he might actually kill me!”

“Oops.” Uraraka shrugged as she pressed send. “Too late now, I guess.”

“You’re pure evil.”

Rumi tugged the group away. “Come on, people! Stay focused! We need to solve this case!”

“Amen!” Mina cheered.

They arrived at the 5C dorms. No one was in the common room and all the lights were off. “My God. Do these people actually sleep?” Hado was amazed. Every other dorm building had something happening in it despite it being a Thursday and there being school tomorrow, but this one was silent.

“Impossible,” Midoriya breathed. “Shinsou doesn’t know the meaning of sleep.”

Todoroki didn’t get it and Uraraka patted his head, telling him “it’s okay.”

“I’ll admit,” Hado started, “I don’t know many people in 5C. In fact, I don’t think I really know anyone at all.”

Kiri nodded. “Same bro.”

“I think Hagakure’s rooming with Mei right now so we could always ask her?” Uraraka proposed.

“What’d you wanna ask me?” Hagakure piped, voice bubbly. The entire group jumped, not having noticed her before. She sipped on her hot chocolate slowly as she watched them, waiting for their response.

Rumi cursed, heart still beating in her chest. “Holy Jesus, fucking hell!”

Midoriya was so confused. “Hagakure, why were you just standing in the dark?”

She shrugged. “I wanted hot chocolate.”

“That’s not an answer?” Kiri scratched his head. His gel wasn’t holding it very much anymore, no matter how much he tried to fix it.

Todoroki turned to him. “I thought it was a perfectly reasonable answer.” Everyone sighed.

“Well,” Mina stepped forward as a large smile began to pull at her face. “We just wanted to check up on Kami and Shinsou so have you seen either of them tonight?” She held her breath as she waited for Hagakure to take another sip.

“Yeah, I saw Shinsou rush out of his room at around half nine or something, I don’t really know. Anyway, he had this bowl and he filled it with milk and then he walked back to his room. His face was a little red though. I don’t know. It was very weird.”

Mina’s heart sank. “What? He went to fill up a bowl of milk?” None of this made any sense.

“Yeah. Kami came down later at, like, ten to get a glass of water and some popcorn. I don’t think either of them saw me sitting in the kitchen in the dark.”

Jirou stepped forward as well. She was trying not to laugh. “So, nothing happened? He was okay?”

Hagakure nodded. “Yeah, why?”

She lost it. “Oh, nothing. It’s absolutely nothing.” Jirou patted Mina’s back but with how much she was laughing (possibly also fuelled from sleep-deprivation), she ended up slapping Mina’s back more than patting it.

Rumi and Hado sighed. “Well, this was a waste of time,” Rumi muttered as she walked out the dorm building, heading back to her own room.

Hado followed her, pouting. She hoped that this would be just as fun as when they met Toga and the rest of Hawks’ boyfriend’s friends. “Oh, Rumi, wait! I forgot but Dabi’s in Hawks’ room right now. I don’t really know what they were doing but they wanted to be left alone.”

Rumi’s eyes bulged out her eyes. “What?”

bugsbunny > BirdBoi

Friday 0 0 : 0 1

bugsbunny: YOU HAVE DABI IN YOUR ROOM?

bugsbunny: IS THIS WHY U SAID U WERE BUSY TONIGHT

bugsbunny: OMG PLS TELL ME NO UR NOT BUSY

bugsbunny: U SHIT ANSWER ME ASSHOLE

bugsbunny: HOW DID U EVEN SNEAK HIM INTO UR ROOM????

»»---------------------►

Mina moped the next morning, eye bags sitting heavy under her eyes. She was tired but she was also disappointed. She thought that she had really hit the jackpot. She was so proud of herself that she knew Kami so well that she’d managed to pick up on these really small signals. But she was wrong, just like with most things, and she’d made a fool of herself in front of a lot of people. She sighed and shovelled soggy cereal into her mouth. Sero sat next to her but, thankfully, didn’t try to say anything. It was late and the 5B common area was empty. Aizawa was going to kill them but Mina didn’t care. She was glad Sero stayed with her, even after everyone else had left.

They got told off when they walked into form late but they both slunked down in their chairs. Mina didn’t talk much to the others during class. She was already struggling enough with her subjects and prelims were coming up so she really had focus. At least, that’s what she told herself. She also blamed her unusual antisocial behaviour on lack of sleep.

“What’s wrong, black eyes?” Bakugou demanded as he slammed his hands onto their lunch table, looming over her.

“Baku, leave her alone.” Sero tried to push him away from the blonde swatted him off like a fly.

“Hey, Mina, what’s wrong?” Kami sat down next to her, sliding his bowl of chilli and nachos over. She ignored it and took another bite of her sandwich.

“It’s nothing, I swear. Prelims are coming up and I’m failing most of my classes so… y’know…” She made a vague gesture with her hands. Jirou was sitting with Momo today so wasn’t at the table. They were both sitting alone as well, just the two of them. She wanted to roll her eyes at Jirou’s obliviousness. Could people really be that oblivious when they liked someone? Momo never sat with only one person. She was too social for that.

Bakugou huffed in annoyance but sat down when Kirishima walked over. “Is this to do with yesterday? Eij told me about how epically it failed.” He grunted as Kiri elbowed him.

Kami glanced around at them all. “What happened yesterday?” The table fell silent, Sero, Mina, Kiri and Bakugou all communicating only through slight head shakes and intense eye stares. “Guys, seriously. What happened? We never keep secrets, come on!”

Kiri coughed awkwardly. Mina sighed and turned to face Kaminari. “Yesterday I thought something had happened because of your texts and the way you had sent them so I rallied a detective team but I just wasted everyone’s time. I don’t know,” she began to explain, “I guess I really wanted to do something or maybe even for attention, I don’t know? Anyway, I thought your texts were different than usual and maybe something happened.”

“Oh.” Kami nibbled at a nacho.

“Yeah,” she said lamely and went back to eating her sandwich.

“Well, you were right. Something did happen.”

Bakugou’s neck snapped from turning around so fast. “What? Did that purple-haired shit do something? Shall I go murder him? I can murder Deku too since he’s in his squad.” The words tumbled out his mouth and before he knew it, he was standing again as Kiri tried desperately to get him to sit back down again. Sero fixed his chair from where it had clattered to the ground.

“Oh no! Shinsou didn’t do anything! I was the one that-“ He stopped, his face darkening to a horrendous shade of red.

Mina tried to slow the smile creeping onto her face. “Kami, what did you do?”

His face went a shade darker and he buried his head in his arms. “I-I spilt milk all over him!”

Kirishima’s mouth hung open and he giggled. “You what?”

Kami threw a nacho at him. “Urgh, stop making it weird!” He cringed. “It was this bowl of milk and I tripped and I spilt it all over his t-shirt!”

Bakugou frowned. “Why did he have a bowl of milk? Oh no, is he one of those weirdos who drink milk at night?”

Kiri gasped at punched his shoulder. “We’re not weird!”

Sero leaned forward, stealing a nacho. “Okay, so you spilt… milk on him. Why’s that so bad?”

Mina grimaced. “Can you guys stop saying that?”

Kami whined and let his head flop to the table. “It’s bad because he took off his shirt and went to get a new one but then caught me staring at his back muscles and everything!”

Sero let out a low whistle. “Yeah, buddy, you ain’t coming back from that one.” Kaminari almost started crying. Mina petted his head but couldn’t stop the grin and hiccups of laughter from escaping her.“Stop laughing at me!” His voice was muffled due to the table.

“Sorry, sorry. It’s just that I was right! Haha, suckers!”

Bakugou was still confused and that made him angry. “Why did he have milk in the first place? Okay, if you’re going to drink milk before you go to bed, you’ll put it into a cup! But he had it in a bowl! A fucking bowl! And then he went to get more milk! Also in a bowl!” He huffed and threw his hands into the air.

“Damn.” Sero just stared at him.

Kami raised his head to look at Bakugou, and then at Kiri for an explanation. Kirishima just shrugged as he shovelled noodles into his mouth. “The milk was for his cat,” he explained but then covered his mouth with his hands, eyes wide.

“Oh, I thought we weren’t allowed to have pets.” Mina took another bite of her sandwich. “OH! We aren’t allowed to have pets! Ooh, Denki. You got yourself a bad boy.”

Sero snorted. “He’s such a cat guy.”

“You can’t tell anyone, okay?” Worry was etched into Kami’s voice.

“Stop worrying, Dunce Face.” Bakugou stole a nacho.

The cafeteria door burst open. Rumi stood there, chest heaving. Her eyes were livid. “YOU LEFT ME ON FUCKING READ!” she yelled, and Mina heard someone squeak behind her. She stormed forwards, people moving readily out the way as she beelined for someone near the back.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Hawks whimpered. Hado kept her head down as she snickered. He clambered out of his chair, knocking it over in the process. Rumi rushed towards him and he ran, vaulting himself over several empty chairs.

“I forgot how good he was at athletics,” Kaminari swooned.

“Same,” Kirishima said in awe.

“Doesn’t matter, he’s going to die either way,” Bakugou growled and went back to angrily eating his lunch.

Chapter Text

Class 5A

Friday 1 4 : 2 4

todoloki: Aizawa sensei just pulled Kaminari out of class

Alien Queen: WHAT

Alien Queen: WHY

Die: whatd dunce face do now

todoloki: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

SueYou: weird

SueYou: u know Aizawa sensei pulled Mineta out of class b4 lunch

shinsomniac: but kami hasnt done anything

uravity: chill ur panicky gay is showing

shinsomniac: URARAKA!

shinsomniac: pls delete that u know kami always back reads

Alien Queen: oh what is this?

serolater: this is interesting news

Alien Queen: an interesting update indeed

shinsomniac: shut up both of u

Alien Queen: so did u take off ur shirt in front of him on purpose or… ;D

shinsomniac: pls delete that b4 he comes back!

Alien Queen: fine fine chill ur gay

Alien Queen deleted (2) messages

uravity deleted (1) message

shinsomniac deleted (3) messages

Die: gAy

shinsomniac: u cant say anything bakubitch

Friday 1 6 : 5 3

calamari: oh no I missed chat!

calamari: why were messages deleted?

calamari: oh no oh that’s why

Dumbfucks

Friday 1 6 : 5 4

calamari: AAADOQCH’[X’’WQ’BDX’Q

serolater: woah

calamari: asjnsakd im happy he likes guys (I think?) BUT HE HAS A CRUSH ON SOMEONE DOESNT HE

calamari: HWAT AM I GOING TO DO???

calamari: omg what if hes been super uncomfortable around me??

calamari: cuz ive been hugging him more

calamari: and then he saw me staring at him

earphonejack: chill

earphonejack: if he hasn’t said anything abt it then its fine

calamari: are u sure??

calamari: cuz sometimes hes super quiet

calamari: and he also gets worried sometimes

earphonejack: look he’s the one that invited you to stay in his room while the dorm is well I don’t really know whats happening to the dorm

earphonejack: but the point is he wouldn’t have done that if he didn’t like you

earphonejack: so chill

Red Riot: yeah its fine bro!

Red Riot: ur one of his friends!

Die: who cares abt that shit what did Aizawa say

Alien Queen: we care abt that shit but we’ll come back to that

serolater: spill that scalding teaaaaa

earphonejack: ew who are you

Alien Queen: I love him just the way he is!

serolater > Die

Friday 1 7 : 0 4

serolater: aasiofainp

Die: perish

Dumbfucks

Friday 1 7 : 0 4

calamari: well at the start I was so worried that he knew abt shinsou’s cat

calamari: but he doesn’t

calamari: at least I don’t think so

calamari: ph gosh what of he does

earphonejack: get back on track

calamari: oh right ok

calamari: so Aizawa was just kinda asking me some questions

calamari: abt the fire and what id been doing ig?

calamari: and then abt Mineta

calamari: and just what I did at lunch and in the dorms and stuff

calamari: normal things ig?

calamari: I thought he was going to pull bakuboi out of class after but he didn’t

calamari: he might tmr idk

Die: he pulled Mineta out of class b4 u

Alien Queen: ngl that didn’t exactly sound like the most normal questioning

calamari: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it seemed perfectly normal at the time

earphonejack: huh

Red Riot: did he tell u anything abt the fire?

calamari: nothing I didn’t already know

calamari: well he did something about it being a rover or car of some kind?

calamari: but at the same time it didn’t have the kind of plastic in normal toys you buy from the toy store so idk

calamari: I was v confused for most of the time

Die: hes trying to figure stuff out

Die: it sounds like someone put a vehicle in the vents and hes trying to figure out who

Red Riot: but why would anyone do that?

serolater: yeah just driving a car around in vents for fun? youd need a camera to even see where you’re going

earphonejack: oh my god

Die: sick bastard

earphonejack: he wouldn’t do that would he?

Alien Queen: don’t leave us peasants behind! we don’t know what your talking about!

serolater: ^^^

calamari: R O O D

Red Riot: what did u guys figure out

earphonejack: urgh I don’t know if this is what baku’s thinking but

earphonejack: what if it was Mineta that put the whatever thing in the vents

calamari: but why?

serolater: oh god

Alien Queen: EW I FEEL SO VIOLATED RN

Alien Queen: AND THERE ARE VENTS IN THE BATHROOMS

serolater: mina where are you

Alien Queen: im in ibara’s room but

serolater: ok im coming over

Alien Queen: now wait theres so many people here

calamari: I still don’t understand!

calamari: and u can come to shinsou’s room theres hardly anyone ever in the 5C dorm building

Alien Queen: sero can u first come here

serolater: yes im coming

Red Riot: omg that’s so gross eqw that’s so unmanly EW WTF THAT’S HORRIBLE

Red Riot: sorry not 2 u sero but to Mineta

Red Riot: EW I DON’T DSOIHr’[e

Die: im gonna beat him up

Die: properly this time

Die: u know I caught him so many times trying to look up momo’s skirt it makes me sick

earphonejack: WHAT HE DID WHAT

calamari: CAN SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME

earphonejack: ok this might be a little hard to hear

earphonejack: but we think that Mineta was the one to put the rover or whatever in the vents

earphonejack: and he was using it to spy on the everyone

Die: more like just the girls

Die: pervy bastard

calamari: what? no! that’s that’s not possible

calamari: sure Mineta can be a little weird sometimes

calamari: and sometimes he says things

calamari: like that time he wanted us to do a strip club for the festival

calamari: OH MY GOD

calamari: AND I WAS FRIENDS WITH HIM

calamari: AND HE TEXTED ME AFTER THE FIRE

calamari: ASKING IF THEY KNEW WHAT WAS IN THE VENTS

calamari: I DIDN’T REALISE IT BUT HE WASN’T EVEN MEANT TO KNOW THERE WAS STUFF IN THE VENTS

calamari: only me and baku were meant to know but I told u guys and

calamari: omg that’s why Aizawa pulled me out of class

calamari: WHAT IF HE THINKS I HELPED

Red Riot: hey r u in shinsou’s room? we’re coming over

calamari: im not

calamari: sorry but I think I want to be alone

calamari: I feel sick with myself

earphonejack: kami it wasn’t ur fault!

earphonejack: no one’s blaming you and im sure Aizawa knows u have nothing to do with this

Die: yeah pikachu ur not like him

Die: so where the fuck are you

Red Riot: kami?

Die: fucking dammit

Die: urgh I swear if im late for dinner bc of this

Red Riot: kami its not ur fault!

earphonejack: maybe we should give him space

earphonejack: urgh I cant believe how gross that guy is

Red Riot: what if we’re wrong?

Red Riot: kami this was just a guess! we don’t know if this is what really happened!

Die > shinsomniac

Friday 1 7 : 2 8

Die: where the fuck are you

shinsomniac: jesus what the fuck

shinsomniac: why do u care

Die: whatever

Die: just find kami

shinsomniac: wait did something happen?

shinsomniac: wait u didn’t tell him abt u know me liking him did u?

Die: no just find him before he does something drastic

Die: also mina and sero are in ur room

shinsomniac: ok

shinsomniac: im not even going to ask

shinsomniac: they better not be doing anything

Die: dw the most that is happening will be crying

shinsomniac: WHAT

Die: exactly now get ur ass off ur chair and fucking find pikachu

shinsomniac > calamari

Friday 1 7 : 3 3

shinsomniac: kami? are you ok?

calamari: I want to be alone

shinsomniac: ur friends are really worried and frankly so am i

shinsomniac: I know ur head is one of the worst places to be stuck in

shinsomniac: we can go out for ice cream?

calamari: we can’t leave the school grounds

shinsomniac: its fine Aizawa wont do anything to me

shinsomniac: come on im getting ur jacket and then we’re going out k?

calamari: okay

Chapter Text

llamas jaws go hard

Friday 1 7 : 2 4

stabbystabby: so

stabbystabby: anyone free to hangout?

shiggy: no.

spinner: soz we’re playing fortnite

compress the depression: u disgust me

BirdBoi: hey! it’s a good game!

bugsbunny: we’re attacking Keigo? I’m here

twice: im lost who’s Keigo

BirdBoi: me

bugsbunny: the stinky shit who is a shitty shit

ijusthado: …

BirdBoi: oh come on! we talked it out we didn’t do anythingggggggg last night

lemillion: I thought u were just running

Suneater: same I just saw panic and fear from rumi’s superior strength as u faceplanted the floor after tripping over some chairs

BirdBoi: ur all poopy :(

kurokillme: hi toga sorry I’m not free tonight bc homework likes to fuck everyone over :)

ijusthado: mood

twice: I’m free!

stabbystabby: yay!

ijusthado: I can ft if you want?

stabbystabby: ooh that’ll be cool

stabbystabby: hold on just gotta ask the resident teen emo

stabbystabby: @daboi

stabbystabby: @daboi

stabbystabby: @daboi

stabbystabby: huh

BirdBoi: yeah the train might not have service rn

bugsbunny: why’s he taking the train? NO HAWKS U GOTTA BE SHITTING ME

bugsbunny: HES COMING OVER AGAIN?

ijusthado: he’s rude he slammed the door in my face

shiggy: yup sounds like him

ijusthado: how’d u even get him in the last time?

BirdBoi: idk he just kinda showed up

lemillion: but the security??

BirdBoi: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Suneater: how are you so chilled about this

BirdBoi: idk things turned out pretty well ;)

BirdBoi: and no rumi for the last time we didn’t do anything scandalous

stabbystabby: oh so ua security must be pretty easy to pass!

kurokillme: wait what no toga don’t

stabbystabby: twice want to go on an adventure?

twice: yeah of course!

stabbystabby: awesome! meet u at the station in 10?

twice: byeeeeeeeeeeeee

ijusthado: are they going to…?

Suneater: im going to sleep

shiggy: im leaving bye

lemillion: Amajiki its only like 5?

Suneater: sadness knows no time

compress the depression: honestly same bro

ijusthado: is no one going to stop twice and toga from trying to break into ua?

kurokillme: I would but im too mentally drained

bugsbunny: toga’s fun

BirdBoi: oh so it’s ok if toga breaks in but dabi can’t?

bugsbunny: toga’s not ur boyfriend so I don’t need to beat her up

shiggy: haha lmk when u beat him up so I can video it for my yt channel

Suneater: nvm not sleeping in my room too many crying teenagers

lemillion: what

Suneater: yeah i don’t know either

Chapter Text

Shinsou grabbed his hoodie and denim jacket off his desk. He slipped them on and flung Kami’s black jacket over his arm. It was still the evening but as they moved through November, the air was getting colder and colder. “I’ll be back,” he told Marmalade, his cat. He stuffed his wallet and phone into his pocket and ran out his room, leaving it unlocked so Mina and Sero could find shelter there. He didn’t really know why they had to run away but he didn’t care.

He rushed down the stairs. Kami hadn’t actually told him where he was so he pulled out his phone and pressed the ‘call’ button.

“Kami?”

“Yeah?” Shinsou could hear muffled sniffling on the other side.

“Where are you? I’ve got your jacket.”

Kami hiccupped. “Um… y-you know those benches? N-near the bushes?”

Shinsou was embarrassed that he had spent so much time outside alone that he knew exactly where Kami was talking about. “Yeah, I’ll be there soon, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

The line cut and Shinsou practically ran across the school grounds. Someone in all black passed his line of vision. They seemed to freeze when they saw him. “Hey,” Shinsou said quickly as he ran past. If the guy said anything back, Shinsou didn’t notice it.

Soon, a small blob of bright yellow hair came into his view, barely visible over the bushes hiding the benches. “Are you okay?”

Kami looked up at him. He tried to give a small smile but his face broke out into tears again. He shook his head. “No. No, no, no! Oh, my God! I’m so horrible! I-I can’t, I can’t believe I did this!” Shinsou’s eyes widened as he watched one of his favourite people (possibly his favourite) break down in front of him. He chewed the inside of his cheek.

He sat down next to him. His arm hovered awkwardly as he tried to figure out where to put it without seeming weird. Kami ended up making that decision for him as buried his face in his shoulder. Shinsou let his arm hug Denki closer, accepting the tears staining his denim jacket.

“I-I f-feel so… so gross! Oh, my God! I can’t believe…”

“Kami,” Shinsou said in the softest voice he could muster. “What happened?” The blonde boy just shook his head and buried his face even more into Shinsou. “Okay, well, you don’t have to tell me but you’re not a horrible person. You’re one of the nicest people I know and I know this for a fact because you were one of the first people to really talk to me here, even if you can’t remember that.” Kami had stopped crying and was now looking up at him through soaked eyelashes. Shinsou swallowed, suddenly feeling nervous but he kept talking. “You’re so friendly and funny. Somehow, you’re on everyone’s side and everyone can trust you. You’re not a horrible person, Kami,” he repeated and prayed that the look in his eyes was enough. He really didn’t want to say anymore. Talking about how amazing his crush was would not end well.

“Okay,” Kami croaked out, but then seemed to remember something and hid his face again. “B-but…”

“What? I won’t judge you, I promise.”

Kami let out a heavy sigh. “You know the dorm building fire?” Shinsou nodded, his eyebrows creasing slightly. “Well, it caused by something in the vents and Aizawa called me out of class to talk about it… a-and-“ His voice caught and he almost seemed to break down crying again. “Oh, God. I’m sorry, I’m such a mess.”

Shinsou didn’t mind. He squeezed Kami’s shoulder lightly. “It’s fine. Everyone’s a mess sometimes. I don’t go a single day without you telling me what a mess my hair is.”

Kami snorted and the smile made Shinsou’s heart flutter. “Okay, yeah. But your hair is a nice messy.” Shinsou rolled his eyes but then motioned for Kami to continue. “Okay, right, um… Mineta was also called out of class and we were talking – the Bakusquad, I mean – and they were saying… Um, we think that he was using the vents as a way to…” His face started to contort into a cringe. “…spy on the girls.”

Shinsou raised an eyebrow. He’d heard certain things about Mineta but violating people’s privacy? Spying on them? That was low.

“And,” Kami muttered, voice dropping low to a whisper, “he might’ve been looking in the girl’s bathroom.” Shinsou’s heart dropped to his stomach. That was sick. “And I might’ve helped him!” Kami burst out, gripping onto Shinsou’s hoodie. “He’d asked me to help him with electronics and he asked me a bunch of questions and, I don’t know, I thought it was for homework or something! I didn’t think it was to spy on girls as they took showers!” He curled up again.

“It’s not your fault,” Shinsou stated, voice low and quiet as he rocked Kaminari back and forth slightly. “You were just being a good friend. How were you supposed to know he was doing something like that?”