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Sergio is four when Nando leaves, and he doesn’t understand why his friend is no longer there. How do you explain to a four year-old that his friend’s parents have to move to England for business and that means Nando has to go with them?
Sergio’s not even sure what that is, business or jobs or work, he only knows his Papa goes away every morning and then comes home in the evenings, picking Sergio up when he comes running to greet him and throwing him into the air until he shrieks with laughter. Then they sit down, Sergio and Papa and Iker, and have dinner and then they play in the living room until it’s bedtime. Sergio’s bedtime that is, Iker can stay up longer because he’s seventeen and Papa gets to stay awake even longer than that because he has a mustache and that means he’s a grown-up.
Nando’s parents are grown-ups too and they have to move to England for business, and Iker said England is so far away you can’t drive there, and Nando has to come with them. Sergio doesn’t understand why and nobody explains it to him, not even Iker, and when he tries to keep them from taking Nando, the boys clinging to each other so tightly their parents have to separate them so they can pack Nando into the car, he doesn’t understand why they are doing it. Nando is his best friend in the whole world, they always play together, every day, in kindergarten and then at home too, and Sergio doesn’t want him to leave.
Nando leaves anyway and nothing Sergio does can stop it: not crying, not shouting, not kicking Iker in the shin and kicking Papa in the shin and kicking the stupid car, and that only hurts and then Sergio cries harder because his foot hurts and the car is driving away and he can see Nando crying through the window and then he’s alone. Iker picks him up even though Sergio doesn’t want him to and then he clings to Iker as hard as he can because he’s crying and Nando left and Sergio tried to stop them and it didn’t work .
And then he’s alone and Nando is gone.
He sleeps in Papa’s bed that night, and Iker sleeps there too, and that helps a little bit.
***
Sergio is four when Nando leaves and he doesn’t understand it.
Teacher Xabi in kindergarten tells Papa and Iker how Sergio is always sad these days, because he’s missing his friend. He comes running into the room in the mornings, looking for Nando, as if by some miracle he’d suddenly be back where Sergio thinks he belongs. Every morning he looks for him, and every morning Xabi has to tell him Nando’s not here, Sergio, he moved to England, remember? I’m sorry…
And every day Sergio’s little heart breaks again when he’s reminded of what happened. He gets quiet then, quiet and sad, sits in a corner with the building blocks instead of running mayhem all over the room like he used to, with Nando. They were the bane of Xabi’s existence, these two, constantly getting into trouble and then always smiling so angelically (mostly Nando) that nobody could ever stay mad at them, but this now, Sergio so subdued, lonely and sad, breaks Xabi’s heart.
He tells Iker about this, Sergio’s big brother who picks him up from kindergarten, and Iker can’t do anything but shrug helplessly and put a comforting hand on Sergio’s head. The boy is leaning against his brother’s leg and looks like a wilted little flower, like his bright, fiery spark is flickering and going out. Nobody knows what to do.
Sergio is four when Nando leaves… and he doesn’t understand it.
***
It gets better, eventually. Sergio makes new friends, like little Geri Piqué. They always used to fight, but now they seem to mostly get along - aside from the occasional squabble over who gets to use which toys. Geri helps, as do the other children in kindergarten. They do their best to cheer Sergio up, not really understanding why he’s so sad but wanting to help their friend. It gets better, eventually.
Iker helps too. Sergio’s beloved big brother, who’s eighteen now and finished with school, who’s looking at universities he might want to attend while their Papa is quietly proud that his son will be the first of their family to be going to university. They look at various places, some near, some far, but in the end Iker settles for the university in Madrid - he says he doesn’t feel like leaving the nest so soon, that he’d rather stay at home and help out. Iker’s eyes rest on Sergio while he says that. His little brother is visible through the kitchen window, standing at the neighbor’s fence, watching their new neighbors move in. An elderly couple, no kids, no new playmate for Sergio. Back when Nando lived over there, they put a little gate into the fence, Iker and their Papa, so Nando and Sergio wouldn’t have to go out onto the street to visit each other, but Papa has locked that gate now… Sergio won’t use it anymore. Iker’s eyes rest on his lonely little brother while he says he wants to stay, and their Papa puts a hand on his eldest son’s shoulder, so very proud and grateful of the man he’s becoming.
So Iker stays, and Sergio still has someone to play with in the afternoons. It helps. He doesn’t forget Nando, he can’t ever forget Nando, but Iker helps.
***
It gets better. Sergio gets older, he grows up. He goes to school, he meets new people, he kisses a few girls and likes it, then kisses a few boys and likes that even better. Iker, who by now has finally moved out (but who comes by for dinner almost every evening), one day finds him and Gerard Piqué with their hands down each other’s pants and then has to sit Sergio down and make sure he knows certain things about sex and how to stay safe. It’s a highly embarrassing hour for the both of them and they can’t quite look each other in the eye for a few days after that, but it’s okay. Their Papa is happily oblivious and they agree that it’s better that way.
Geri is Sergio’s first. They hang out and argue about school, they play FIFA and argue about football, they go to the movies and argue about plot holes, then they have sex and argue about who came first. They’re not dating, at least Iker doesn’t think they are, it seems to be more a relationship of arguments and then make-up sex (and God, isn’t that something he never wanted to know about his baby brother). Eventually they finish school, Geri gets into a university in Barcelona and Sergio, like Iker, wants to stay close to home. He joins Iker’s university, where he’s an assistant teacher now and working on his thesis. Iker gladly makes sure Sergio knows everything and everywhere he needs to know, even if Sergio scowls and tells Iker to fuck off, he can figure this out by himself. Iker ignores him, he’s Sergio’s older brother and therefore of course knows better, puts him in a headlock and drags him off to have coffee in the best café on campus.
Sergio, secretly, loves it. He’s glad Iker is there, he doesn’t know anyone else yet. And… he’s had abandonment issues for a good period of his life now.
***
The first days of uni are for orientation, finding out where the classes are held, which professors are laid-back and which are demanding and so on. Sergio goes to all the important orientation classes (Iker makes him) but privately thinks they’re stupid - Iker’s already told him everything he thinks Sergio needs to know and then he told him even more stuff Sergio definitely doesn’t need to know. So usually Sergio’s pretty bored in those first classes, sits in the back and doesn’t bother to take notes at all, instead plays on his phone and hopes he can leave soon. Iker promised to take him to the movies later…
There’s a guy a few seats over who keeps looking at Sergio. Sergio looks back, because the guy is hot, even throws in a little wink and a smirk, in case the guy is interested. He seems vaguely familiar too, maybe they’ve hooked up before and Sergio forgot because he was too drunk… shame. A guy that pretty should be remembered. Maybe they can have an encore now? The guy though frowns and doesn’t smile back, so Sergio assumes he’s probably homophobe (and a dick) and proceeds to ignore him.
Only the guy doesn’t stop looking. During the whole class he’s looking over, a slight frown on his face, like he’s trying to figure Sergio out. It’s annoying, it makes Sergio’s neck itch, and he doesn’t like it one bit. He’s actually starting to get pissed off - so when class is over he stomps over to the guy, determined to tell him to fuck off.
But when he’s just opened his mouth, the dude suddenly smiles uncertainly and asks: “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to stare, just - have we met before?”
Sergio blinks. That’s got to be the lamest come-on ever but yay, at least the guy isn’t a homophobic prick after all. He gives the guy a cocky smirk and lowers his lashes. “If we haven’t, then I really want to now. I’m Sergio.”
The guy’s eyes widen. “Oh.” He says quietly, and then doesn’t say anything for a while. Sergio frowns, confused. What’s going on? Then the guy smiles again, smiles, a wide smile, a beautiful smile, happy and blinding. Sergio doesn’t understand what’s going on, what is happening, until the guy says: “Hi Sergio. I’m Nando.”
And Sergio - oh .
Sergio was four when Nando left… now he’s eighteen and Nando is back. He still doesn’t quite understand, but that’s okay. They have all the time in the world to figure it out.
THE END