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i found you in the bathroom

Summary:

Jeno is on a blind date with the worst guy possible and then he meets the guy of his dreams in the restaurant bathroom. who also happens to be on a terrible blind date, too. coincidence?

Notes:

something i wrote on a whim bc im whipped for nomin.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“renjun you dipshit, why the fuck would you set me up with an asshole like him?!”

 

Jeno hissed into phone, peeking around to make sure no one was entering the bathroom stalls.

 

“yeah he’s pretty bad right? do you think you can live through dinner with him?” Renjun drawled on the other side of the phone, and Jeno swore on all three of his cats that he was going to see the end of huang renjun, and Jeno was going to be the one killing him.

 

“you knew he was this terrible and you still set me up with him?!” Jeno was aware his voice was shrill and that he was still in the bathroom, probably been gone for a good five minutes by now.

 

“look, you said set me up with anyone and Michael was right next to me when i was texting you. he said he always had a thing for you, and he was pissing me off.” Renjun didn’t sound like he felt bad at all, and Jeno was mentally making notes to call Renjun’s mother in China no matter how expensive international calls were.

 

“oh, and i borrowed his notes the other class and he said i ‘owed’ him something. said it could be a date but wasn’t feeling it, and then you said you were looking for someone and Michael has a crush on you. works out perfectly, don’t you think?”

 

Jeno attempted to steady his breath, but he was shaking and he knew the amount of times he had ran his hand through his hair had already made him look like a (hot) mess.

 

“renjun, i need to get out of here before he continues talking about the size of his dick and what he always wanted to do with me - why the fuck does he think i’d let him fuck me anyway?! i don’t even know him injun!”

 

“yeah well he thinks you’re a fuckboy, along with the rest of the whole student body Jeno-ya” Renjun had the fucking nerve to yawn when Jeno was probably an hour away from being drugged and then brought into someone’s bed he barely knew.

 

“out of all people, you know that’s not true! you didn’t correct him and you even set me up with a loser like him?!”

 

for some reason, the whole university had this very specific image of Lee Jeno being a fuckboy when he was probably the softest and most loving boy ever. he had three cats, occasionally volunteered at the stray dogs and cats shelter, and couldn’t remember the last time he slept with someone.

 

but, his looks said otherwise - with his sharp, edge cutting jawline, blonde hair with an undercut, his poppy coloured lips in a tight lipped line, and then there was his body: tall muscular, built like if he was ready to beat the crap out of anyone who came onto him.

 

“renjun, i swear, if you don’t get me out of here, i’d—“

suddenly, the bathroom door opened in a crash an tumbling in came the most angelic person Jeno had seen in his whole life.

 

“i swear to god Mark, you’re gonna see hell when i get home tonight, how dare you set me up with an asshole like —“ the boy too was half yelling half hissing into his phone when he noticed Jeno, also standing with his phone to his ears awkwardly starting at him.

 

“ugh, um, i’m in the bathroom right now can’t speak call you back later.” the boy mumbled into his phone as he hurriedly got off the call and threw it down his back pocket.

 

Jeno was aware he heard the voices of Renjun and Haechan laughing on the other side of the phone - something about Jeno’s image of an fuckboy when no one knew the last time he got laid or the last time he kissed someone was a dare - but Jeno found himself hammering the end call button on his screen and ramming the phone into his pocket as well.

 

the pretty boy laughed awkwardly, running a hand through his perfectly side swept hair. god damnit, Jeno looked like hell compared to this boy, and was really cursing his past self for disheveling his hair so much.

 

“well, you caught me at an embarrassing moment.” the boys laugh sounded like music to Jeno’s ears and oh god if fricking Michael Kim wasn’t outside boasting about his dick size, Jeno would have swept this boy off his feet and straight to his room.

 

“yeah sorry about it - i was actually yelling at my friend over the phone too,” Jeno was aware this was way too much information, especially considering the fact they were a) strangers and b) they were in a bathroom and c) well, Jeno was technically here on a blind date which was going terribly.

 

the pretty boys eyebrows perked as he glanced at the phone in Jeno’s pocket and smiled. “yeah? did they ditch you or something?”

 

there was a playful tone in his voice and Jeno couldn’t help but smile. “nah, my friend - and mind you this is my best friend we’re talking about - set me up on this blind date but the guy is an absolute nightmare. you?”

 

the boy was looking at Jeno, his eyes wide and with a look of surprise. “what, did i say something wrong?” Jeno asked cocking his head to the side.

 

“nono, it’s just that, i’m the same as you.”

 

“same as me...? as in set up on a terrible blind date with an asshole?” Jeno asked incredulously.

 

the pretty boy laughed out loud, a relaxed laughed and nodded. “yeah, my friend set me up on this blind date and really, he’s the worst. honestly don’t know what the hell my friend was thinking.”

 

Jeno couldn’t help but stare at how his eyes were twinkling as he spoke, and was in awe with how pretty someone could look under the shitty bathroom light.

 

“i’m Jaemin, by the way. you’re Lee Jeno, right?”

 

the boy - Jaemin - extended his hand out towards Jeno and Jeno stared at him for a solid fifteen seconds before he awkwardly took out his hand.

 

“yeah, i’m Jeno but why do you, uh, know me?” Jeno wasn’t sure if he was creeped out or love struck with the fact an handsome stranger knew his name and now they were holding shaking hands in the bathroom.

 

“are you kidding?” Jaemin cocked his head to the side, his bangs falling on his face. “everyone knows you, the soccer star Lee Jeno.”

 

Jeno blushed and he was sure it was very obvious even under the fluorescent lights, and at the same time he was glad Jaemin didn’t recognise him as the fuckboy as he was so used to getting called. (maybe he did think Jeno as that but at least he was nice enough to not say it to his face.)

 

“i’m really not a star at all...” Jeno barely mumbled before he took his hand back in embarrassment.

 

“whatever you say, soccer star,” Jaemin winked and Jeno couldn’t help but feel his heart melt a little at the sight of his dazzling smile. “but, i didn’t know you do blind dates? honestly what a twist of fate though, you could’ve been my blind date not Park Minjun.” Jaemin said while rolling his eyes.

 

ah shit. yes, the blind date. that wasn’t Jaemin but Michael. Kim Michael.

 

but, Jeno found himself nodding even when the heat was rising to his cheeks. “yeah, i - i don’t usually but like, i was tired of getting sexiled and third wheeling my friends. i guess.”

 

Jaemin nodded, his face solemn and serious. “i get that - my friends are all in some sort of relationship right now and they always nag at me for being so ‘flaky’.”

 

the boys both nodded at each other as if they were consoling each other, barely knowing anything about each other in a very awkward situation.

 

“well, as much as i’d like to spend more time here with you,” Jeno said, attempting to sound cool even though it sounded lame, “i have to go dump Michael Kim’s ass before he starts playing footsie with me again.”

 

Jaemin’s eyes widened at the sound of Michaels name. “wait, your blind date is Michael Kim?! that’s worse than Park Minjun! at least Minjun's normally a nice guy but just always high and reeks of weed, but Michael?”

 

Jeno groaned and nodded. “yes, the Michael Kim. the korean american who claims he got into both SM and JYP entertainment but kicked both offers because he wasn’t ready and they were going to debut him in a month. the one who claims his dick is humongous and the one who keeps on talking to me about how hard it’s find to condoms in his size.”

 

Jaemin gagged as Jeno continued to speak. man, the more he mentioned it out loud, Michael was a shit person and what he was telling Jeno was straight out being harassed.

 

“well, i better get back and just run out before he tackles me —“

 

“why don’t we just both ditch our dates?”

 

Jeno whipped his head around to come face to face with a smiling Jaemin.

 

“excuse me?”

 

“we both don’t like our dates. we both want to get to know each other more. let’s just ditch them? we can get ice cream or something.”

 

Jaemin’s eyes were glimmering and his smile was brighter than the sun. Jeno’s mind really didn’t know how to form any words besides nodding and saying “you know what? that sounds great.”

 


 

“hey Jeno!”

 

Jeno turned around to see Haechan walking towards him with Renjun.

Jeno stopped in his tracks as he saw his two friends approach him but noticed the glint in Renjun’s eye and Haechan’s lips curl into a smile.

 

ah, shit. this wasn’t gonna end well.

 

“so i heard from my good friend Michael that apparently, you disappeared into the bathroom thirty minutes into the date and never came back.” Haechan said as he draped an arm around the queasy Jeno’s shoulders.

 

“i also heard from my good friend Renjun, that you didn’t come home that night.” Haechan was strong despite the many hours he spent curled in his room listening to Michael Jackson and living only on instant ramen.

 

Jeno sighed as he stared at Renjun who shrugged, a smirk stretched across his lips. “you won’t tell me what or who you were doing - desperate times call for desperate measures.”

 

“there is literally nothing desperate about this! can’t a guy just not come home without getting interrogated?!”

 

Haechan laughed out loud as he steered the two boy’s towards the campus cafe. “normal guys can, sure. but Lee Jeno, fuckboy image but big softie in real life, cannot.”

 

Jeno pushed the heavy glass doors of the cafe as he continued to groan. he was craving coffee and he barely ever drank coffee. he just needed some sort of stress to get over the stressful emotions piling up inside him. and he wasn’t over how good the coffee Jaemin made was.

 

the three ordered their drinks and settled into their normal seat by the windows. Jeno was aware of the glances they got from the other students in the cafe, especially being with Renjun, the art prodigy and Haechan, the genius vocalist. and well, he was only the fuckboy. the college fuckboy.

 

“so, where did you go? where did you drift off too? you didn’t sleep with Michael but you didn’t come home, where were you, mr. fuckboy Lee Jeno?” Renjun drawled and Jeno made a note to change locks on their apartment door. 

 

"yeah, were you perhaps in, someone's pants?" Haechan whispered as Renjun broke down in laughter next to him. good god, Jeno needed new friends. asap, too.

 

"look, after Renjun had the fucking nerve to set me up with this shit of a guy, coincidentally, i met someone else who was on a terrible blind date. so we made a pact and decided to ditch our dates together." Jeno attempted to sound casual, nonchalant as possible, but he was also aware that he was a terrible liar. and Haechan's big, round eyes and Renjun's beautiful features staring at him and his every moment was not helping him.

 

technically, Jeno was't lying. he did find Jaemin screaming at his friend for setting him up with someone bad as Michael, and they also did agree to ditch their dates. what happened after, well, was history. 

 

"okay so i get it, you ditched Michael, he's a dick and i heard he's shit in bed," Haechan said as he leaned back on his chair, "but who was this 'someone' you met, and why the hell didn't you come home?" 

 

okay, this is what Jeno was precisely afraid of answering.

 

"yeah Jeno, you gotta tell me where and what you were doing, i'm your roommate." Renjun said as he propped his right elbow on the table, leaning his face on his hand. "i was so worried about you last night, i almost called your brother."

 

Jeno groaned for the tenth time - he really, really, fucking hated his friends. 

 

"ok ok, i'll come clean. i met this guy called Jaemin, we decided to grab a couple of drinks, and well, we ended up in his house."

 

and that was that.

 

there were no lies, no sex, yes maybe some cuddling and some quick pecks all over the face and neck, but there both fairly drunk and maybe a little horny, but ended up sleeping on the same bed with their little one's still in their pants. 

 

"... but you didn't have sex?" Renjun asked incredulously, and Haechan sighed out loud, shaking his head.

 

"what, i didn't even say anything about having sex guys, why on earth would you assume--"

 

"Jeno, you're obvious as fuck. you're basically an open book. i'll know when you have sex from fucking miles away, buddy. i just thought you might have had some little sexual action last night, but noooo, all you did was cuddle. and with Jaemin, come on dude, you were with Na Jaemin!" Haechan half shouted and Renjun was quietly nodding while he sipped on drink. 

 

"wait... you guys know Jaemin?" 

 

Haechan rolled his hands into little fists as he muttered something into the air, Renjun covered his eyes with his hands as Jeno stared at his two friends dumbly. 

 

"...ok. if you're the college fuckboy, Jaemin is the frickin prince. everyone loves him - professors, cleaning ladies, girls, guys, animals, i don't even know. but everyone loves him." Renjun finally managed after he stopped Haechan from lunging at Jeno across the table, and Jeno, visibly shaken by his friends viciousness was inching away from the table per second. 

 

"so, Jaemin is popular?"

 

"yes you idiot, and you had all the fucking chances in the world yesterday, and you still missed it. come on Jeno, your fuckboy status is crying out loud, you haven't been with anyone since literally high school!" Haechan whined out loud and Jeno was seriously wondering what the fuck his boyfriend saw in him.

 

"announce it so the whole world will know, will you? i didn't know guys, and, why would you guys think i'd sleep with someone who i barely know anyways?" Jeno huffed.

 

he didn't do one night stands, and he wasn't good at the whole "no strings attached" thing anyways. he like Jaemin, no maybe even was crushing on him big time. Jaemin was sweet, handsome, and didn't judge Jeno like most people did. he didn't try to get into his pants either, and he genuinely seemed to enjoy their time together. yeah, Jeno wanted to sleep with him, but he wasn't going to do anything dumb when both parties were drunk and were going to regret things the next morning. 

 

"...okay, now that i feel bad, i'm just gonna tell you." Renjun took a deep breath, as Haechan glared at him, while Jeno cocked his head to the side.

 

"your blind date yesterday. Michael was merely a coverup - your real date, or someone we wanted to set you up with, was Jaemin."

 

what?

 

the surprised look on Jeno's face obviously translated as Haechan too, who sighed and began to talk. 

 

"Jaemin's roommate is my boyfriend, Mark. and basically, while i was at his place whining about how lonely you were all the time, Mark told me that Jaemin once told him when he was drunk, that he thought you were hot and probably wasn't the coldblooded fuckboy everyone thought you were. and wanted to get to know you."

 

Jeno couldn't believe what he was hearing. his mouth dropped open as Renjun once again opened to mouth to speak.

 

"so then, we decided it'll be great if we set you guys up. but, we knew it would've taken you fucking centuries to ask him out or even do anything intimate with him if you knew we were all close to Jaemin, so we set you guys up with the worst guys we could think of."

 

"which was Michael and Minjun, i felt bad for both of them but i did see them making out in the hallways this morning so i think you guys played cupid by ditching them." Haechan added with a shrug of his shoulders.

 

"and we thought you'd guys will bond over terrible dates, and then probably get together. and i'm guessing it worked? so don't be mad? please?"

 

Jeno closed his mouth as he saw Renjun give him the puppy eyes, and he knew he probably didn't even feel bad for making Jeno suffer for thirty minutes last night on his fake date with Michael, but oh well, he did get to meet Jaemin.

 

"...and speaking of your up and coming boyfriend, here comes Mark and Jaemin. Mark!" Haechan stood up from his seat and waved towards the two boys at the door. Jeno immediately noticed the bright, blonde hair with the illuminating smile as he caught sight of Jeno. Jeno couldn't stop from a smile spreading across his face, as he waved shyly. 

 

"...and here we go again with the shitton of pda." 

 

Renjun sighed into his cup as Haechan ran towards Mark, and Jeno stood up to pull a seat for Jaemin.

Notes:

sorry for any grammar mistakes / awkward phrasings!

comments and kudos are greatly appreciated <3 

tell me how u thought!