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It happened again.
It happened often enough, now, that he could almost control the feral outrage boiling in his blood, spilling out of his skin in wisps of sticky-surreal darkness. Almost, but not quite. Every breath came with the overwhelming impulse to move, and each time he was already across the beach by the time the thought reached his consciousness. He screamed within his own heart, and the animal body he occupied gurgled and hissed, spiralling up a palm tree and leaping on toes and fingertips from treetop to treetop. He snapped and bit at breezes, fingers curdling into claws, shredding broad leaves into dust.
It itched and coiled in his skin, and no matter what he did, the buzzing that stung across his back and legs burned brighter. The toppled from the treetops, slamming into the ground with a sickly thud, leaving pools of rage dark rage on the ground behind him as he lunged for the water. He charged into the waves, roaring. Water filled his mouth, and the fraction of him that knew what was happening panicked; it was swallowed by the feral thing he had transmuted into. The rampaging darkness didn’t care about the water, or about breathing. It thrashed and writhed in the sea until it spat itself back onto the sand.
The nine minutes of screeching void lasted a terrible eternity, until the frothing creature finally exhausted itself, and split into two.
Riku was staring at him, as Sora panted and heaved. Coming out of Anti-Form in combat was one thing. The rush of battle helped distract him from nausea and the echoed memory of being not-really-himself. He propped himself up from the knees and pasted on his best grin.
“Bad luck, huh?” He asked.
“I think we passed ‘bad luck’ the third time.”
“Lucky number 7?” Sora dug a fistful of Drive Recovery candies out of his pocket.
“Sora.”
“Aww, c’mon Riku. It just happens sometimes, but it runs out eventually.”
“Sora, it hurts you.”
“Nah, I’m fine, see?” He took a deep breath and flung himself upright. He didn’t even stumble or wobble or anything. Riku took a deep, deep breath. “Please?”
“This is the last one.” Riku said.
“Yes! Alright!” Sora crunched the Drive Recoveries, swallowing them before they had really dissolved. The vibrant shock of energy chased away the last of the jitters Anti-Form left behind. He didn’t really need to grab Riku’s hand and press it against his chest to absorb heart best friend’s heart into the magic woven into his clothes. But, it was nice. Riku was always a few degrees colder than the beach breeze. Probably for darkness related reasons? Dark was colder than light.
“ Give me strength!” Sora yelled, the world splitting apart around him as he and Riku were reduced to the cores of themselves, Riku’s body and heart settling around Sora like a new skin. The moment of balance held precariously, and this time Sora was sure it would work.
Then his skin froze, melted, boiled. The world returned, black and violent, warping and weaving with each lurching step.
Another ten minutes of monstrosity.
This time, when it ended, he sat heavy on the sand. “I don’t get it. It doesn’t do this with anyone else. ”
“It’s probably not meant to work with anyone but Donald and Goofy, that’s all.” Riku offered.
“So, it’s breaking when we do it?”
“I mean, yeah, I guess. That’s why the Anti-Form is, right? It’ s what you get when something doesn’t exist. Like dead air on the radio.”
Sora flopped backwards, wiggling himself a little nest of sand. “Can you tell what’s happening when you’re there?”
“Not really.”
With the sluggish effort of exhaustion, Sora held his tongue, staring up at the blue, blue sky. Riku had spent a lot of time alone. Sometimes he needed extra leeway to finish his sentences. Usually, Sora couldn’t wait that long. But, he was tired, and the sun was heavy, hot on his skin.
“I can tell you’re there, at first. Then, I disappear. I think you’re still there, but I’m just. Gone.”
“Sounds scary.”
“It’s not really anything. Hard to be scared when you aren’t there in the first place.”
“I guess.”
After a while, Riku laid down next to him.
“I just wanted,” Sora began. He wasn’t sure how to finish. A dozen different answers fought on his tongue. “I don’t know. I wanted to see what it would be like.”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah.”