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Miss Sugawara is so beautiful. Her pale features reflect the light and glow in the dark. Her hair, her eyes, her skin, all so soft. She’s almost hard to look at. Like an angel, dangerous to look at directly.
Oh, how I long to look into those lovely eyes. Run my fingers through her silky hair. To touch her smooth skin.
My breath catches as I think about it. I think back to that night in the shared bath. My face heats up. She stood there so proudly in the doorway, wearing nothing. So pretty...
I often get caught up like this while I lay in bed at night. I think and think and think about her until I eventually drift off to sleep. Some nights take longer, like tonight. I don't even want to look at the clock. I know it's late. I have school tomorrow, but I just can’t stop my mind.
My mind drifts to the school festival. Miss Sugawara looked so good in the boys uniform. I wish I could see her in it again. Maybe we would need to dress up again sometime for some reason? She was so much more handsome than any boy I know. Strange how just a differently cut shirt and pants can cause butterflies in my stomach. Not that Miss Sugawara's usual uniform looks bad. Not at all. She wears it with such elegance, even if she wears her skirt much shorter than I would ever dare to. It really shows off her long legs.
I bet her skin is soft there too…
I start to feel warm under my blankets. I cover my face with my hands. I know this is more than friendship. Is this how the other girls in my club are too? Do they think about boys this way? Does Kazusa stay up late thinking about Izumi? I wonder if maybe Miss Sugawara could feel the same way about me.
I imagine her laying beside me. She’s wearing the same pajamas as on the club trip. I reach out my hand and take hers. I hold her hand. It’s imaginary, but my heart soars. Her hand is warm. She snuggles close to me. I remember how good she smells. She places a kiss on my cheek with her soft lips. I close my eyes and sigh. I want it to be real so bad it hurts. I cling to my fantasy a little longer, enough to let it lull me to sleep.