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Shosei is a strong boy. Ren knows that because he can see it in the things he has told him.
Things about Shosei himself, growing up in a single-parent household, chasing his dreams. Learning how to act and speak so his classmates would like him enough to not make fun of him for his family. Learning how to appeal to strangers on the street so they would like his performance enough to drop a few bills in his duffle bag.
It must’ve been hard, Ren listens and thinks, because it wasn’t easy for himself either. No one on this path has it easy, Ren knows that, but there’s something about Shosei that makes Ren have a soft spot for him.
Because Shosei is also a delicate boy, and Ren knows that because he can hear it in the things he has told him.
Shosei, feeling like he is no longer himself after learning to do everything to please other people, and feeling helpless because he can no longer get himself back. Feeling like he lives to please everyone but himself. Feeling like he’s a fake.
Ren feels it in the things Shosei does too. The way Shosei cries whenever he doesn’t meet the expectations he thinks others have for him, the way Shosei tells him he wants to meet him at the top because he wouldn’t know what to do otherwise.
The way Shosei always places his neck in the crook of Ren’s neck when he hugs him just a little bit too tight, they all got Ren feeling some type of way. The way all these things make Ren want to protect him from the all the bad things in the world.
Because Shosei is also a caring boy, always there to give comfort to those who need it. But, beneath that, Ren can see how tired he is too, mentally and physically. Shosei sets expectations too high for himself, and it wears him out. Ren tells him over and over again that it’s okay to take it slower, but he doesn’t listen.
Ren can see Shosei is someone who needs comfort too, and that’s why he gives it to him. That’s why, when Shosei clings onto him, he puts a hand over Shosei’s hand as if to reassure him that everything’s going to be okay. That’s why, when Shosei hugs him, he pats his back and tells him everything will be okay. That’s why, when Shosei climbs into his bed at night, he scoots over to makes space for him.
Because there’s nothing else Ren can do, no matter how much he wants to help. The only thing he can do is to feed Shosei the warmth and the love and the confidence he needs to keep up his walls and not let the insides spill out, at least not for now.