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It’s the Captain America: The Winter Soldier world premiere and Seb is 90% certain he was never this nervous in his entire life. Ever. Not on his first day at school in a foreign country - having a heavy accent and not knowing anyone -, not on his first day on a film set - where he managed to throw up all over the make-up-assistant he was so nervous -, and not even on the premiere for Captain America: The First Avenger.
He’s in the limo that’s bringing him to the red carpet and he’s alternally sweating bullets and shivering from a deep-bone cold only his mind imagines. The ride is both too long, because he just wants to get this circus over with and too short to at least try to calm down his nerves. Before he knows it, Sebastian is thrown into a mess of journalists, screaming fans and agents pushing him around to ‚stand there, smile‘ ‚now over there‘ ‚move on, please‘. His smile is autopilot by now and he’s grateful for that, because internally, Sebastian couldn’t bring himself to talk one word, in none of the five languages he speaks.
He waves and smiles again, let’s himself be manhandled around the red carpet, signs some things when he’s given the go ahead and his hand is shaking so bad he doesn’t recognise his own signature. The fans don’t seem to mind, thankfully. Back to the carpet, smiling for the cameras again. He feels too hot in his suit, with all the headlights filling the air with a blasting heat and his hands are really badly shaking by now, which is why Sebastian sticks them into his pockets (hears his mother scold him for it in the back of his head, ‘That’s not a pose for the red carpet, drag!’). His throat is starting to close up and he has to swallow repeatedly; he knows his smile is faltering, because the reporters yell at him to ‘smile more’ but he can’t bring himself to do that, because there are black spots in his vision now and oh god, he can’t faint on a red carpet, on a movie premiere with millions watching and of course that train of thoughts doesn’t help in the slightest and -
And then there’s a hand on his upper back and a presence beside him, tall and reassuring somehow. ‘It’s okay’, he hears a deep murmer beside him, just for him to hear, ‘relax, it’s alright, just keep breathing. Deep breaths, okay? Just a few more minutes and I’m getting you somewhere quiet.’ Sebastian blinks, the words registering painfully slow in his brain that’s currently jelly. His knees start to shake slightly, but there’s this arm around his waist now, casually, keeping him upright, a steady weight next to him and he allows himself to lean slightly to the right, leaning on just a little bit. ‘I’ve got you.’
He can’t see through the flashlights of the cameras and the black spots in his vision, so Sebastian doesn’t even bother looking to his right to see who exactly’s holding him upright right now, but it doesn’t matter anyway. He’s only glad someone’s there, someone noticed…he manages a few more minutes of smiling, then he’s nudged in the side slightly. ‘Okay, here we go, do you see that small tent to the right?’ Sebastian glances the way he’s pointed to and nods slightly. ‘Good. I want you to go over there, okay, don’t stop for anyone, just walk there and sit on one of the chairs. I’m with you in a minute. Okay? Okay. Move.’
Again, he’s on autopilot, because he moves straight for the tent, doesn’t even register his agent coming up and talking to him. He still doesn’t know how just talked to him, it could literally be anyone what with his mind completely occupied with taking in those million sensations all at once. He sinks down on one of the chairs, bends over slightly and tries to take deep breaths. The hustle-bustle of the premiere shifts to the background for the moment, the noises dying down, finally giving him room to breathe. The black spots in front of his eyes are gone by the time a shadow falls over him and he looks up immediately.
It’s Chris, of course, Chris Evans, a good friend and his costar and the person he might have a crush on since he first laid eyes on him, walking towards him with determination. Sebastian watches him, still more than a little dazed; sees him angrily flipping his agent off who tries to point him into another direction. Sees him spitting out a few words over his shoulder, before he reaches Sebastian and crouches down in front of him. There’s a water bottle appearing out of nowhere and Chris hands it over. ‘Here, drink. Tiny swallows, at least ten, alright?’
Sebastian does as he’s told, his hands still shaking and he spills a bit of the water, but only on his neck and not on the suit, thankfully. As if by magic, there’s a handkerchief in Chris’ hand and he dabs at the spot and Sebastian chokes on the water he’s supposed to drink. Stares at Chris with wide eyes, because, he’s touching him and that’s not exactly a good idea right now, because, well…
He’s flustered and high on nerves anyway and normally, he can’t stand any body contact with another person in those moments. Not even having someone close. But he doesn’t mind with Chris. He’s never minded with Chris. Except there is no ‘with Chris’, because like the big coward he is, Sebastian never acted on said crush he had longer than he’s comfortable admitting to himself. Something must have shown on his face, because Chris frowns suddenly, looking up at him, eyes darting to where he still dries up the spilled water. ‘Don’t worry, it’s fresh from the laundry, I pocketed it two hours ago.’
Sebastian blinks at him, owlishly. Blinks again. Chris stops, his hand still on Sebastian’s neck and when exactly did he put a hand on Seb’s tigh? Then, it registers. The handkerchief. Chris means that, obviously misinterpret the look on Seb’s face as bewilderment or disgust even. Seb wants to laugh. Wants to cry. Because this man is just so - caring and wonderful, always putting other people’s needs and wellbeing in front of his own. He does neither of both, just swallows and tries a shaky smile.
It seems to be enough, because Chris smiles back and drops his hand, pockets the handkerchief and now he has both hands on Sebastian’s tighs, and wow, broad, strong hands that move in tiny, soothing circles. The Romanian fights down a strangled sound and he has to close his eyes, which is a shame because then he can’t look at Chris anymore.
'It's okay, just sit here for a moment, yeah?', he hears Chris say, voice low and gentle, like he's talking to a frightened animal. 'I'm going to stay with you for a bit, make sure you're alright before you go back out there, yeah? Because I know if I leave now, you're following me because you can't stop even a minute to think about your own wellbeing, you over-eager little shit.' By the end, his voice is stern, but Sebastian hears the smile nevertheless. He smiles again and concentrates on the feeling of Chris' hands, the warmth that seeps through his trousers; a comfortable warmth, not the heat of headlights and nerves, but a reassuring presence. Chris always has this effort on him when he's around, Sebastian notices suddenly. During filming, both of the movies actually.
'You should go back', Sebastian finally murmers, but keeps his eyes closed. He's afraid if he opens them and looks down at Chris he will say something extremely stupid. 'They're waiting for you.' He hears the other snort. 'They can wait. Right now, my costar is having an anxciety attack and I damn well know what that feels like and I also damn well know what it feels like when nobody notices and takes a moment to help. So save your breath, Basha, I'm not going anywhere until you're feeling better.'
Maybe it’s the confession or it’s Chris using his nickname and the way it rolls from his tongue, Sebastian doesn’t know, but he hesitantly lifts one of his own hands and carefully, slowly puts it over Chris’s on his tigh. Tries to give some of the reassurance back or tries to say thank you, he doesn’t really now. Maybe he just likes to be close to Chris.
For a long moment in which he holds his breath in anticipation, Sebastian feels Chris’ hand shifts underneath his and he flinches and makes to pull away. There’s a sound coming from Chris - an annoyed huff? - and Seb’s hand is caught midair by broad, strong fingers. He thinks Chris mumbles something like a fond ‘Idiot’, but he’s not sure, it could also be the noise outside. What he does know is that Chris is linking his hand with Seb’s and guides them both down on Sebastian’s knee. His thumb starts stroking Sebastian’s knuckles and the Romanian’s not quite sure if that’s still a gesture between costars or not.
His heartbeat picks up again, but for a different reason now. Although he knows he’ll regret this, Sebastian slowly reopens his eyes. Chris’s sitting on his heels, looking up at him with a small smile, ocean-blue eyes shining in the dimly light tent they’re sitting in.
‘I could be falling in love with you.’
Sebastian’s eyes go wide and he wishes he could take the words back that hang in the air between them now. He knew he’d say something stupid looking at Chris. For another long moment, nothing happens. Chris doesn’t recoil, doesn’t look disgusted or shoves him away. He just looks at him, eyes not confused or frightened, but searching carefully. Then, he smiles. That big, bright Steve Rogers-smile that’s only slightly altered because of the neatly trimmed beard he’d grown.
He opens his mouth to say something, but in that moment, his agent bursts into the tent, half-shouting at Chris to get his ass back to business, there’s a premiere to attend after all. Sebastian flinches again at her loud voice and Chris’ fingers return to stroking his calmingly. ‘I’ll be there right away’, he tells his agent without taking his eyes off of Sebastian and she storms of again, bristling.
With a sigh, Chris lets go of the other’s hand and stands, dusting his pants off. Sebastian sits there, looking straight ahead, still dazed and a little in shock over his own confession.
Then, there’s a hand cupping his chin, carefully tilting his head up. He goes willingly to see Chris again, tovering over him, bent down slightly. There’s the smile again, but softer this time, more intimate. Bright and glowing and sweet.
'I've been in love with you the moment you came back on the Winter Soldier-set', Chris smiles down at him. Sebastian gapes, mouth opening and closing around words he can't find, speechless again.
'I think we need to have a long talk after the premiere, hm?', Chris voice rumbles and Sebastian nods dumbly. The smile on the other's face shifts slightly, getting mischivious. 'And maybe do some more 'discussing”, he adds and then he's closing the distance and kisses Sebastian, just a short peck before he's gone with a wink. He leaves Seb behind with a tingling lip and for the rest of the premiere, Sebastian's high on nerves and adrenaline for an entirely different reason.