Chapter Text
A little one shot I couldn't get out of my head...
G/M/G/M
The night of the first concert, she had expected the cold shoulder from Mel but actually experiencing it was something completely different. Geri had known that the second she released the statement she was going to receive a backlash of criticism from fans and reporters but she felt stuck, unsure of how to stop Christian's probing questions and anger along with his parents obvious disapproval of such suggestion she may be a lesbian. The only answer was to deny.
It was a mistake she had paid dearly for, Mel made sure of it. Not that she blamed the women one bit, it was expected but after years of finally being on good terms after leaving the band they were back to square one. The awkwardness was almost unbearable, the concerned looks from Emma and Melanie when Mel walked into rehearsals told her she wasn't the only one worried about how frosty it was going to be.
In front of the cameras Christian appeared to be unphased by Mel's confession but as soon as they were at home behind closed doors, it became an unspoken rule that they never even mentioned her name. It was killing Geri inside, pretending to everyone on the outside how much she loved living the high life with her millionaire husband when the reality was as soon as Mel had waltzed through the dance studio doors on the first day of rehearsals she knew she didn't stand a chance of resisting the pull she felt towards the younger women, even if she wasn't giving her the time of day.
The night after the first concert as she lay in bed beside Christian, she had covered her mouth as she silently cried into her hand, trying to hide the fact she was heartbroken. Geri knew that Christian wasn't really sleeping, a part of her felt like getting up and going to the spare room where she could really let herself cry and get all her emotions out but she knew it would end in an argument that she really didn't want to have at one o’clock in the morning. As long as Christian could pretend to be asleep, ignoring how blatantly upset Geri was over Mel then he could get on with his day believing his wife was perfectly happy in their marriage. When in reality she wasn't.
*-*-*-*-*-*
It had been brewing for weeks now, the teasing on stage paired with lingering looks that hadn't gone unnoticed by Emma, Melanie or the thousands of fans who had watched night after night of performances.
After the first night where Mel more or less ignored her attempts to interact, Geri didn't give up even though a part of her knew she should and focus on salvaging her marriage but she couldn’t help herself. Mel was like a flame and she was the moth, no matter how many times she got burnt she would always go back for more.
So she persisted, arms reaching out for Mel to hold and meaningful glances had Geri feeling as though they had finally left the animosity behind but she knew she had one last thing to do.
Geri could feel the adrenaline rushing through her body as she glanced out onto the 90,000 fans that had come to watch them perform their last night on tour. She could hear all three of her bandmates chatting to the crowd as they began the lead up to singing Goodbye. The song that despite being gorgeous would always hold a bittersweet place in her heart.
Seeing her opportunity she reached out to grab Mel's hand watching as the younger woman turned her head to smile at her, her eyes crinkling in the corner as the sheer natural beauty of the women nearly took her breath away. Wrapping her arm around Mel's waist to pull her flush against her own body, the dark haired women rested her arm around her shoulder pulling her tight against her side. Motioning for Melanie and Emma to come in closer beside them, the four women stood facing the fans.
"-We played Wembley how many years ago Gigi?" It had surprised Geri that the girls had suggested having some time before Goodbye to talk about the reason behind the song. In reality it was something that none of them rarely ever mentioned when it was just the four of them together, it was brushed under the rug as though nothing ever happened.
Geri knew it was a can of worms that nobody was prepared to open and for good reason, it had the capability of ruining so many things including her own marriage. The subject was still so raw 21 years later, like a wound that never quite healed properly, it flared up whenever someone prodded too much.
"21 years ago and I wasn't there." Geri replied to Melanie question. To anyone else Mel didn’t really seem too bothered with the discussion but Geri could feel the tension in the younger woman's body as her grip on Geris shoulder tightened, as though she was subconsciously making sure she couldn’t leave again.
Mel really hadn’t given anything away over the past month or so, she may have been flirty on stage but that’s where it ended. A part of Geri really wanted to believe the younger women still felt the connection between them as much as she did but it wasn’t something she wanted to push and ruin what they had created.
The fear of rejection was something she had always felt around Mel, when they first met she was shocked to meet someone with a crazier personality than her own and she worried they might clash and yet within two minutes of speaking she knew she had found her soulmate. It was tacky and cheesy and she had cringed at her own thoughts but it was true, they were like two peas in a pod who could have the most toxic and explosive argument over the silliest of things and yet be back to best friends ten minutes later. Victoria had always described watching them argue like experiencing whiplash, neither women could argue with her on that.
“Yeah where were you?” Geri could remember exactly where she had been as they carried on without her to play at Wembley stadium, she had been in a field crying as she thought about what she had lost. The truth was, she missed Mel more than anything else, it had killed her knowing she had let down the other girls so badly but she knew a part of them understood exactly why she had to remove herself from being anywhere near Mel. Anyone with eyes could see how heartbroken and depressed she was, she had tried to hide it but it had become too much to hold in. The eating disorders had her spiralling, it felt like it was the only way she could control her emotions and yet all it did was make her feel like she was losing every part of herself. Watching Mel with Jimmy felt like having her heart ripped out and stamped all over. The younger women knew exactly why she had left, anyone with eyes could.
“She was in a field crying.” Emma jested. It was strange in a way, that they could talk about her leaving in front of over 90,000 fans but when it was just the four of them in a room nobody would ever bring it up in fear of it turning into a discussion none of then were ready to have. It was easier to joke and kid around with an audience who would laugh along but now Geri knew she had her opportunity, it really was now or never.
The last night at Wembley, possibly the last time they'd be on stage together as a group and Geri knew what she needed to do. Feeling Mel's hand tracing patterns across her lower back helped to calm her racing heart.
"I was in a field crying, but do you know what? Something occurred to me this afternoon that I need to say something very very important that I should have said a long time ago.." Geri couldn't find it in herself to look at Mel, scared that as soon as she looked at the younger women's face she would crumble and not follow through. Mel's eyes burned a hole into the side of her head, the hand around her face getting slowly tighter by the second.
"To Emma, to Melanie, to Melanie.." Finally turning to face Mel as she pointed down the line to each of her bandmates, she could see the look of surprise and the tears in her eyes. Mel knew exactly what was coming next.
"..And the fans, is that I'm sorry." The second the words had left Geri's mouth Mel had tugged her tight to her body, placing a tender kiss on her cheek she moved her mouth against the older women's ear.
"I'm sorry too." Pulling back Geri could see the watery smile Mel was wearing, the younger women seemed to be overwhelmed by her emotions.
Looking into Mel's eyes, the emotions reflecting back at her made her breath catch. For a split second Geri was sure she saw a look flash across Mel's face, a look that she had yearned for for years. It was a look that Mel had witnessed the day she had left the band, a look of love that had scared Mel into pushing her away completely. The complete dismissal of her feelings was what pushed her over the edge, told her she had to leave for her own sanity.
Emma and Melanie pulled her attention away from Mel, dragging her eyes away from the younger women she let her two bandmates engulf her into their own hugs.
Carrying on with the show, the look on Mel's face was seared into the forefront of her mind replaying over and over again unsure of whether she was only seeing things she wanted to believe.
G/M/G/M/G/M/G/M
Hearing a knock at her dressing room door, Geri made quick work of applying her lip balm to check the time on her phone. Noticing she still had twenty minutes before she had to leave for the after party, she glanced over at the door unsure of who was on the other side.
"Come in." Looking in the mirror, Geri smiled warmly as Mel appeared from behind the door with two glasses of champagne in hand wearing her trademark leopard print in the form of a skin tight jumpsuit paired with sky high boots and her hair still as big as it was at the start of the concert. A look which Geri very much appreciated with her eyes looking Mel up and down from her seat in front of the vanity mirror.
"You look lovely." Geri commented whilst picking up her mascara, uncapping the lid she made quick work of applying it before nodding her head at her make up, happy with how it looked.
"So do you." Mel joked, coming to stand behind Geri's seat she placed one of the glasses of champagne in front of Geri while she checked her own appearance in the mirror, moving a few curls out of her face.
Glancing down at her dressing robe, Geri twisted around in her seat to lightly slap Mel on the stomach making the younger women roar with laughter. Turning back around, Geri picked up the champagne and took a small sip before standing up and offering Mel her seat.
"Where's Monty and Blue?" Geri unzipped her small suitcase, pulling out her two dress options she held them up in the mirror for Mel to see.
"Mum's taken Monty home with her and the last time I saw Bluebell she was hanging out with the other kids in the green room, more than likely up to no good." Mel pointed to the deep blue dress with a plunging neckline, sure to look amazing on Geri. The older women chucked the other dress back into her suitcase and rummaged around for the matching shoes.
"You were really good tonight Ginge." Geri's eyes flicked up to look at Mel, the younger women playing with the stem of her glass twirling it around in her fingers.
Returning to her search Geri shook her head in disagreement. The fact was, she was tired. Ever since the tour had begun she had hardly slept a wink, replaying moments over and over again in her head, analysing every lingering look and touch where Mel was concerned. It was driving her crazy, in a way she was glad the tour was over so she could return to her monotonous married life. But then there was a part of her that was screaming out, the part that craved the madness that Mel provided so easily.
"You three were amazing, all I ever manage to do is mess up the dance routines." Untying the tie from around her waist Geri slid the robe off her shoulders, chucking it in the direction of her suitcase she picked up the dress Mel had chosen.
Mel's eyes were roaming the length of Geri's body through the reflection of the mirror, only just stopping her jaw from dropping like something from a cartoon in appreciation for the older women's appearance.
Delicately slipping the dress up her body, Geri had to bite her lip to stop herself from snickering at Mel's reaction. Clearing her throat, Geri caught Mel's attention turning her back to the younger women and pointing at the zip.
Draining the remainder of her glass before placing the glass back on the dresser, Mel rose to her feet and slowly walked towards Geri. The atmosphere in the room seemed to shift as Mel gently brushed Geri's ginger hair from her back letting her grip the zipper of the older women's dress.
"You shouldn't put yourself down like that, you're a Spice Girl for goodness sake." Stroking her thumb across the nape of Geri's neck, she felt the older women's body react and shiver with the touch.
Mel pulled her hand back as Geri moved out of reach, putting some space between them the younger women noticed Geri was putting her guards back up again. Trying not to get frustrated at Geri's reluctance, Mel shifted to stretch out on the white sofa that was pushed up against the wall
Mel watched Geri bend down to slip on her heels from her seat, a well perfected art of balancing on one foot learnt over the years coming in handy.
"I hope you know I meant it too." Geri looked up at Mel with a puzzled look as to what her cryptic comment was referring to.
Coming to stand at full height Geri picked up her phone and checked to see the time, seeing they still had another ten minutes before either Melanie or Emma came barging in wondering where either of them were.
"Meant what, Mel?" Geri questioned, sitting down on the arm of the sofa she looked down at Mel with her eyebrows knitted together.
Mel moved to sit closer to Geri, reaching up she squeezed the older women's hand before resting their entwined hands on top of her dress clad thigh.
"When I told you I was sorry too. I'm sorry for not listening to what you had to say the day you left, I should have told you that I loved you too..." Mel could hear her heart thundering in her chest as a silence came over the room, the red haired women's eyes were looking everywhere but at Mel.
It had taken a long time for Mel to understand her feelings. What Geri had said only the other night had resonated inside Mel, she didn't realise how much she had loved the Watford girl until she had gone. It had taken only a day for her to realise she wasn't just upset and angry about Geri walking out, she was literally heartbroken.
It had felt as though someone had ripped her heart out, a piece of her was missing. Geri was missing and it was her fault, she had known as soon as she had hesitated in response to the red haired women's admission of her love that it was over between them but she didn't know it meant losing her as a bandmate and friend too.
"It's fine, don't worry. All in the past now." Geri squeezed Mel's hand once more, giving a half hearted smile she went to get up from her seat but was stopped when Mel gently grasped her forearm as the younger women stood up too.
"But it's not in the past is it? Not when I still feel the same as I did all those years ago." Geri's breath hitched, biting her lip and closing her eyes she took a deep breath before she turned back around to face Mel.
The dark haired woman was shifting from foot to foot, the nervousness radiating off her as her eyes stared straight into Geri's as though trying to read her mind.
"Mel.. I've got a husband." Geri could see the annoyance in Mel's eyes, the scoff that came from Mel's mouth confirming it.
"Can you just cut this prim and proper housewife shit for one minute? Where's the old Geri gone eh? The Geri that could have a laugh and not take herself too seriously?" Mel's hands were flying all over the place as she let her frustrations out, stepping closer and closer to Geri until there was only inches between their bodies.
"I'm not talking to you when you're like this, you've clearly had too much to drink." Geri dismissed, the tone of her voice suggesting Mel's questions were starting to provoke a reaction out of her.
"Too much to drink? I've only had one glass of champagne!" Mel motioned to the empty glass sitting on the dressing table behind Geri.
Geri didn't know what to do, her eyes fixated on Mel's dark orbs that looked back at her as though pleading to listen to what she was saying. Running a hand through her hair, Geri let out a groan before pinching the bridge of her nose.
"Why are you doing this now? You've got Jess haven't you?" Mel could hear the jealousy, after years of knowing Geri she could pick up on the slightest of tones in her voice. The two of them only ever needed to look at the other to know exactly what kind of mood they were in, as if they were connected in some spiritual way and could read each other's minds.
"She's not my girlfriend if that's what you're asking." As Mel took a step closer to Geri the red haired women took a step back, her lower back hitting the edge of the dressing table.
Following in Mel's lead, she downed the rest of her champagne before placing it next to the younger women's glass on the table.
"But you've slept with her, right?" Geri quizzed, a tight smile upon her face as she tried to banish thoughts of Mel and Jess from her mind.
It had been like all those years ago, watching Mel with someone else except this time rather than Jimmy it was Jess. The young ginger singer fell over herself trying to flirt with Mel, over the last month or so Geri had lost count the amount of times she had rolled her eyes at the ginger women's attempts and on one or two occasions had to leave the room before she grabbed the woman's hair and dragged her away from Mel.
It was a side to herself that only ever reared itself where Mel was concerned. The jealousy that raged through her body whenever she saw anyone near Mel that caused a threat to her and it was as though she had fire running through her veins. Right now she had no right to feel jealous, she was married whereas Mel was completely single and yet it was still there. The green eyed monster.
"Once, the night before the tour started." Mel admitted and for the first time she avoided eye contact with Geri, her eyes looking down at the floor as she bit her lip.
A humourless chuckle had Mel's eyes flicking up, Geri shook her head before she turned around to collect her jacket from the back of the chair in front of the dresser.
"So you love me but you'll still sleep with Jess? Oh yeah because that makes perfect sense doesn't it darling. C'mon, Emma and Melanie are probably waiting for us." Before Geri could pick up her clutch bag, Mel gripped her upper arm and swirled her around so they were face to face again, instead this time their bodies were flush against each other.
"Can you just listen to what I'm saying? I love you, alright? It's not some kind of joke Geri! Yes, I slept with Jess but do you want to know something? All I kept thinking about was you, how much I wanted it to be you that I was with instead. Have you got any idea how fucking frustrating that is?" Mel's voice got gradually louder and louder as she went on, Geri could feel the fast rise and fall of the younger women's chest against her own. Looking into Mel's eyes she could see the tears glistening under the light of the room.
"What do you want me to say? That I love you too? Because we both know I do Mel but that's not enough. I need commitment, I need stability for me and the kids." Geri shrugged her shoulders, feeling her own tears beginning to fall down her face. Reaching up, Mel gently batted her hand out of the way as she gently brushed the tears from her cheeks.
Tenderly stroking the red haired women's cheekbones as she cupped Geri's face, Mel licked her lips before gently pushing a loose curl behind her ear.
"Please.. Just.." Mel couldn't even get her words out, her eyes flicked down to Geri's lips and before the older women could stop her she lightly pressed their lips together.
Pulling back instantly when she didn't feel Geri responding, her eyes roamed across the red haired woman's face. The women's eyes were closed but as soon as she opened them Mel recognised the swirling of desire instantly.
"Geri-" Mel was cut off by Geri's lips roughly pressing against her own, the red haired women's hands coming to grip her back, the bite of fingernails digging in making her moan into the older woman's mouth.
Moving her hands lower Mel's hands slid down to rest behind Geri's thighs lifting the older women to sit on the dressing table, neither women caring as the two champagne glasses fell to the floor smashing everywhere. Geri's legs naturally opened, allowing Mel to step forward and be wrapped in the red haired women's legs.
Mel let her hands dance freely over Geri's body before she reached up to run her hands through the ginger hair, tugging it lightly and pulling Geri impossibly closer.
Neither women heard the light tapping against the dressing room door or the sound of the door opening, too caught up in each other to realise Melanie had walked into the room searching for the two women who were late.
"Oh! Woah, sorry. I'll just." At the sound of Melanie's embarrassed scouse accent Geri shoved Mel away from her, quickly wiping her lips with the back of her mouth while she slid of the edge of the table.
"Have you ever heard of knocking Melanie?" Mel's eyes were shooting daggers at her bandmate while she sorted the neckline of her playsuit that had fallen down with her bra peeking out.
"I did knock! You're lucky it was me that walked through the door and not Christian! What are you two playing at?" At hearing Christian's name, Mel glanced over at Geri to see a guilty expression painted all over her face.
Without saying anything, Geri picked up her things and began to walk out of the room but not before Mel tried to take a hold of her hand to stop her.
"I'm going to see Emma." Geri pulled her hand out of the way, striding out of the room past Melanie who's eyes were darting between the two women.
Mel's eyes followed after Geri, watching as the door closed over she put her hands over her face and groaned in frustration.
"So? What the hell was that?" Melanie asked, coming to stand in front of Mel she pulled the hands away from her face to look at the dark haired woman in the eyes.
"Why did you have to barge in like that? I was finally getting somewhere and now.. Well who knows what's going to happen." The emotions that had been bubbling up inside her finally spilled over, the tears tumbling down her cheeks.
Melanie wrapped her arms around Mel's body, feeling the women shaking in her arms as she cried into her shoulder. Rubbing Mel's back softly, she quietly made soothing noises into her ear trying to help calm the women down.
"You really love her don't you?" All the answer Melanie got in reply was a slow nod against her shoulder.
Over the years she had watched as Geri fawned over Mel but she had never quite been able to figure out whether the love Geri felt was unrequited. Of course Mel loved Geri but none of them knew whether it was simply just a friends with benefits arrangement but it was clear to see that wasn't the case.
Letting out a deep sigh, Mel pulled back so she could face Melanie who gave her a light smile and mirrored her earlier actions for Geri and wiped the tears from her face.
"She loves you too, anyone can see that." Melanie didn't know whether it was the right thing to say but it was the truth.
"But maybe that's just not enough." Moving out of Melanie's embrace, Mel collected her clutch back from the sofa and gave herself a brush down with her back to her bandmate.
Clearing her throat, she turned back around with a fake smile upon her face that anyone would be able to see through.
"First round on me?" Mel offered, taking Melanie's hand in her own she dragged the women out of Geri's dressing room.
"Mel.." Melanie could see how hurt her bandmate was, a part of her wondered whether the best thing to do would be to take her home and not let her use alcohol to numb her feelings but she knew that wouldn't go down too well. She would just have to keep her eye on the dark haired women and look out for her.
"Don't, please Melanie can we leave it for tonight? I'm a mess and I need a drink, okay?" Nodding her head, Melanie entwined their fingers together and lifted the women's hand up to place a kiss on the back of her hand.
No words were said as they walked to where they were meeting the other girls, instead there was an unspoken rule that Melanie was there for her.
Tomorrow Mel would try to fight for Geri and fix things but for tonight she only wanted to forget the look of guilt on Geri's face.