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Katsuki doesn't understand. He never could hope to really...based on what he knows. Kaminari represses the urge to shiver. It's hotter than Hell right now, but they're fighting the urge to shiver anyway.
Katsuki is glaring at them from the other side of shatterproof glass. Right now Kaminari is unsure which of them the glass is actually protecting. Katsuki had asked to come here...to come to Tartarus Maximum Security Prison. He asked to speak to Kaminari but in the three minutes they've spent on opposite sides of the glass, Katsuki has said nothing.
It makes Kaminari feel unfathomably tiny. Katsuki is always loud. Always complaining. Always so open even when he can't find the best way to express himself for anyone else to understand. A quite Katsuki is foreign territory and infinitely more frightening than the typical death threats that rolled off of Katsuki's tongue like second nature.
"Why?" That one word shatters the fragile silence between the two of them.
And, fuck, if that isn't the million dollar question. Why indeed. It figures that Katsuki has come to ask the one question Kaminari has no good answer for.
"What do you want me to say? That I was under threat? That they had something on me?" ' Tell me whatever pretty lie you want to hear and I'll say it, Katsuki, just for you.'
"I want the truth , Denki. For once in your fucking life tell me the truth. " Katsuki is, once again, asking Denki to do the impossible.
The truth is Kaminari doesn't remember much of their interactions with the League...or Liberation Front... or whatever they go by now, thanks to the death sentence of a quirk they were born with.
"The truth?" Kaminari begins, voice tired and bitter and sounding so done with this...with life...with everything. "My memory is garbage. The truth? They offered to pay my tuition in exchange for insider information but I can't remember who actually came to me to offer it. Not a face, not a name, not jack crap that could actually prove I wasn't more deeply involved in things. The truth? I hate myself every day when I think about the things my worthless existence has caused to happen because I was selfish and stupid. The truth? I have blamed myself for you getting kidnapped every fucking day since it happened. The truth? I hope I get the death penalty, because I can't live with the things that happened because of me. "
Denki isn't crying, but it's a close call. They probably would be, but they don't feel they deserve to be sad anymore. They won't let Katsuki feel like they want his pity.
Katsuki is quite for a moment. No doubt trying to tell if Denki is being honest or if it's just more lies. Denki tries telling themself that doesn't hurt and that they understand why Katsuki would have to take time to analyze the things that they said. Aprasing to see if it's worth the effort to ask them more questions.
"Was it real?" Katsuki's voice is barely a whisper, so much so that Denki isn't sure he actually heard him talk. "You and me? Was any of that real?"
All of it was real.
Kaminari wants to say. But they think back and all they see is the fake smiles, not because they
didn't
don't love Katsuki, but because they were always thinking of how short lived their relationship would be once Katsuki learned the truth.
"I really love you." Denki half answers, "If that's what you're asking."
Love not loved because Katsuki was the one for Denki. They will never have the room in their heart for anyone but Katsuki.
"I really love you too, Pikabitch." Katsuki's little half smile thing doesn't quite reach his eyes but there is love for them still in his words. They can tell it's genuine love because Bakugou Katsuki doesn't know how to filter his thoughts quite the way Kaminari Denki can and therefore Denki has no doubts their boyfriend (ex-boyfriend?) still loves their traitorous heart as much as he always had.