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At some point Taeyong was mad, trying to find someone to put the blame on. It couldn't just be over like that. If they tried hard enough, just for more time, maybe everything would fall back into place.
They had stayed together through everything. Every single hardship, they endured them together, not once letting their relationship crumble because of them.
He blamed himself. Perhaps he was too busy and didn't do enough. Maybe it was because he just wasn't as attractive as before, quickly crossing that out because he knew the man he married. Something so superficial wouldn't matter to him.
It's been one year since they talked about trying again, about overcoming this rough part of their lives. It would work out, they said. It had to.
One year after and nothing changed.
They don't fight, really. There is nothing to fight about. Johnny is not someone who he has much to complain about, and to be honest, they are already used to each other's flaws and annoying characteristics.
They love each other like that.
They aren't in love anymore.
Everytime this thought comes up to him, he shakes, panics silently. Not understanding what went wrong. Wasn't it supposed to last forever?
When they were 15, they noticed there was something more than just friendship between them, interested looks and blushing cheeks giving them away.
Taeyong was the one who took the first step, ignoring the teasing remarks thrown at him when he went up to Johnny's table and asked him out on a date. Much to the boy's surprise and embarrassment, as everyone in the class was staring at them.
Gripping tightly his pen, Johnny gaped, snapping out of it when someone yelled "Come on Chicago boy, answer him!". Nodding, he said yes, dazzled by Taeyong's smile because of the positive answer. It started like that.
It was only after Taeyong turned 16 they started dating, though. That time Johnny did it, nothing much, quickly throwing the question at him while they both lied down on Johnny's bed and talked about conspiracies. Another yes.
Their first time together was awkward, both not really knowing what they were supposed to do, even though Taeyong had a little bit more experience than Johnny. Everything turned out great, however, and it was the first time they said 'I love you' to each other.
Learning about Mark's existence, now, that was a mess.
After 3 weeks of feeling like shit, he was forced by Johnny and some of his friends to go to the hospital and find out what in the world was going on with him. The news weren't that pleasant. Especially once his parents found out about it by rummaging through his things.
If it wasn't for Johnny's parents, in 9 months he'd be basically homeless. His parents hadn't kicked him out (yet) or anything, but everyday was hell in the house.
One fight in particular was so bad he had to sleep somewhere else, just because he mentioned the possibility of maybe having an abortion, since he was too young and it wasn't really an ideal situation.
Every single possible bad word was thrown at him, including 'monster' and 'murderer'.
Funny how they didn't really care about his wellbeing or about the "baby", doing their best to bring him down everyday.
Every word was a reminder of how disappointed they were, how they should have known better than trust a son that had "no shame" and probably wasn't even sure if the baby was really his boyfriend's.
Taeyong wasn't the exemplar teenager, maybe. He had a temper sometimes, but who didn't? He kissed and he was curious, but isn't that normal too? Where did they come up with that when his first time was with Johnny?
Anyway.
That explains pretty much why Mark still is not close to his grandparents. Firstly, because they just don't really care and second because they still resent him and Johnny for not letting them take control over their son and their choices for him.
A lot of people left him, even his parents. Johnny, however, was a constant. Always supporting and caring. For that, Taeyong knew he wouldn't ever stop loving him.
Being in love was something completely different, unfortunately.
It wasn't that their love turned into friendship, no.
Their love was built on friendship, it was what held them together for so long. One thing does not exclude the other at all.
What happened is that now, only friendship is left.
It's not only because they have no desire to sleep together again, because being in love does not exactly mean that you will have sex and they know that very well.
But kissing turned into something awkward, that didn't feel as right as before. Their hugs weren't as tight, their hands wouldn't touch like before, fingers interlacing.
When they first talked about this gradual change that was happening in their relationship, they put Mark to sleep first and then locked the door. After saying everything that had to be said, both of them broke down crying, desperately trying to find a way to fix something that couldn't be fixed anymore.
Still. They tried.
One year later, Taeyong sat on their bed, nervously biting his nails, listening to the familiar noise of Johnny arriving home and chatting with their son, knowing very well that the man also was aware that their one year had ended.
Opening the bedroom's door, Johnny first smiled at him, eyes slowly changing from happiness to hopelessness when he noticed that Taeyong's eyes were already reddish and swollen.
Closing the door, he took off his jacket, placing his bag on the chair, still silent. It was eating Taeyong alive.
With a tired smile, Johnny sat down on the bed next to him, taking his hand and toying with the gold band on his finger. It was enough for Taeyong to cry again, a sob escaping his mouth.
Johnny, as gentle and loving as ever, hugged him, muttering comforting words when he also needed to be comforted.
Their marriage crumbled right in front of their eyes for more than one year, the consequences of it slowly bringing them down.
Looking up, he noticed that the other was crying too, something kinda rare, eyes and cheeks red.
"You look terrible" Taeyong joked, still holding tight Johnny's hand, feeling how they were slightly shaky.
"You still look beautiful, even lying" the man retorted, letting out a loud laugh when Taeyong sobbed and hit his arm.
"I love you and I'm so grateful for having you in my life, I-" Taeyong tried, voice breaking, heart clenching when Johnny let out a pained noise, trying to cry as silently as possible.
"It's okay, I love you too. You know that, right? You are my bestfriend, Taeyong." The sound of video games was not the best background song for this moment and they probably should talk to Mark about gaming too much but, right now, he couldn't care less, knowing he would miss a lot of things about their family life, including the scolding together thing.
"We aren't in love with each other anymore" Johnny whispered, feeling Taeyong's head moving against his shoulder, nodding. "It happens, right? We should be glad it wasn't too messy, no big fights, just understanding. We love each other and that won't change, okay?"
Looking up, Taeyong stared at Johnny, remembering every single good and bad experience they had, heart hurting but still filled with love and gratitude. "Yeah. Mark too. We'll love him just as much."
Nodding, Johnny tried to smile, failing almost comically once he mentioned their son. The big baby was reduced to tears and sobs, and now it was Taeyong's turn to comfort him, brushing the other's hair lovingly, kissing the cheeks wet with tears.
Holding his cheek, Johnny tilted Taeyong's head up, placing a chaste kiss on his mouth before hugging him.
"I just can say 'thank you' for teaching what is love, for giving me a bestfriend, a tiny brat who ate half of my shirts..." the taller man said, making Taeyong laugh at the last part.
"Yeah. Thank you for showing me what real love is too, Johnny. You know I didn't experience much of that in my family and...your parents...you...oh fuck" he sobbed, an ugly sound escaping his mouth, tears probably soaking Johnny's shirt already.
"Stop making me cry, we'll be okay!" Johnny scolded him, voice spreading warmth through his body as it always did.
"Don't worry! We'll stay together until Mark decides that he can't handle our nagging anymore and puts us in different houses for old people."
Pinching the man, Taeyong laughed, ignoring the pained whine that came from Johnny. "He will never get tired of my nagging, I'm his beloved papa."
"And I'm his tall dad! He loves me too!" Johnny argued.
After staying in their comfortable silence for some time, Taeyong sighed. "Do we have a lawyer?" he asked bluntly, snorting when Johnny faked receiving a punch.
"Oh my God, can you let a man be sad about his divorce in peace? Heartless!" he whined dramatically, throwing himself onto the bed.
"And yeah, we do. Don't worry, I'll make them deal with everything."
Laying down next to the man, Taeyong breathed out in relief, turning to look at Johnny, eyes meeting. "Ah yes, what would I be without you?" he asked, half jokingly, half serious.
"As perfect as you are right now" Johnny answered seriously, laughing when Taeyong's eyes filled with tears again.
"Stop making me cry, please! I'm already sad enough!"
"You should be glad your ex husband is so sweet!" Johnny exclaimed, laughing even louder when Taeyong cried harder at the ex husband part.
"Stop this right now, I swear to God!"