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The sky is as gray as it always is, perpetually stuck in what could have been called dusk or dawn, once, worlds away from this one. You stand on the sidewalk, carefully watching the insect at your feet.
For a moment, you think about Terezi and how she’d make fun of you - but she’s sound asleep in the hive at your back. Other than this stupid bug, you have nothing to worry about.
In the end, you weren’t as important as you thought you’d be.
You tried important. You tried important when you caused the creation of Jack Noir and the destruction of Lord English. You tried important when you secured the creation of Earth C, too, and all it took were a couple of depressed humans to fuck that up for everyone.
Speaking of depressed humans – you’re not exactly sure what went down with Dirk Strider. All you know is that he’s alive and remorseful.
Frankly, you don’t give a shit about that loser. You also don’t give a shit about Ultimate Selves or narrative relevance or whatever else he and Rose and others won’t shut the fuck up about.
You tried important. You were important. Now, you’re just tired.
You don’t know what kind of bug it is. With this clusterfuck of a planet – something ecologically between Alternia and Earth and allowed to develop on its own – the bug may be as alien to the humans as it is to you.
It’s missing one of its legs. The remaining back leg is thin and bent upward. You don’t know how long you watch as it moves in circles, but you do know that the sound it makes as you crush it under your foot is almost a satisfying one.
When you finally caught up to Terezi – having chased her to the end of the universe just as she had done for you – neither of you really knew what to say to each other.
And what is there to say? There aren’t enough words in Paradox Space to describe all the ridiculous ways that you and Terezi are tied together. Even on this planet, when you lie next to her on the bed in your shared hive, words don’t come easy. It’s much easier to chase away insecurities by pressing your lips to hers.
Sometimes, though, it all gets to be a little too much.
As you lift your foot up and away, the insect crunches again. You barely register the sound; it takes you a full eight seconds to realize what you’ve done. By then, your heart is racing.
A wave of nausea hits you. Some of its guts are spilling out of its side – some no doubt stuck to the bottom of your shoe – but the thing is surprisingly intact. You think that you see one of its antenna twitch.
Your breath comes in short bursts, and you’re as panicked as you are perplexed. The thought of someone seeing you like this – losing your shit over a fucking bug – has you careening toward hysterics.
The sound of your own blood in your ears is so loud that you almost don’t hear the door to your hive slam shut.
A few seconds of stillness pass. Then, Terezi calls out to you, sounding amused, “Vriska?”
You open your mouth to respond, but the words don’t come. The bug still captures your gaze. It’s like the little bastard has complete control over you.
Terezi’s steps are slow as she approaches. Soon, you hear her stop entirely – she must sense that something is off. Cautiously, she calls your name again. When you still don’t answer, she takes another few steps toward you.
Even though you can feel her come to a stop just a few inches behind you, you’re still startled when she wraps her arms around your waist. Your breath catches in your throat, but you manage to stop the jolt that threatens to run through your body.
The bug lies in front of you. With her head and nose pressed against your back, Terezi doesn’t seem to notice it. Terezi takes a breath; but before she can say your name again, you ask, “Was I the bad guy?”
You wince at the sound of your voice. It sounds strained – it sounds weak. You puff out your chest, trying to summon some of your usual bravado.
Terezi doesn’t ask where the hell that question came from. You don’t offer an explanation.
Still, you grow anxious and impatient in the time Terezi takes to answer your question. “Well?” you demand. To your relief, it comes out on just the right side of self-assured.
Terezi still takes a moment to respond. The pause is long enough to have your heart working double time, but you manage to maintain a brave face.
“No,” Terezi says eventually, decisively. “You did bad things. And good things.” She shifts on her feet; for a moment, you’re worried she’s about to let go of you. But her grip only tightens as she says, “And you were hurting.”
Even with Terezi acting as an anchor, her words have you feeling off-balance and vulnerable. You want to be angry at her, but you can’t summon up the energy. You’re too tired.
It’s surprisingly easy to swallow your pride long enough to say, “That’s not an excuse.”
Terezi’s response is immediate, this time. “No,” she says. “It’s not.” She sighs into your back. “But I know you. And I know you’re not bad.”
Just like that, the knot in your stomach gives a little. Terezi doesn’t offer you anything else, but what she has given you is enough. You turn in her arms so that you can hug her properly.
Terezi lets out a huff of laughter when you visibly relax. Her breath ghosts over your neck and tickles the hair there. You lean into her, managing to not be too embarrassed about your quick venture into freaking the fuck out over a goddamn bug.
After a long pause, Terezi clears her throat. “You know,” she starts, then stops. A beat passes before she says, “Sometimes I still think that I need you way more than you need me.”
Unthinkingly, you say, “That’s stupid.”
“I know!” she says, hiding her face in the crook of your arm. “But I still think that sometimes. Even if it’s stupid.”
You think that you understand what she’s getting at. You bring up your hands to grip her shoulders and gently move her away so that you can look at her. The bug lies between you two once again, but you manage to keep your eyes away.
“Terezi,” you say, grave, “You are the coolest troll I’ve ever met.” And then, because you’re still Vriska, “You’re definitely cooler than all those dumb humans, too.”
“Hey!” Terezi protests, pulling away slightly.
Offended, you drop your hands from her shoulders. “What? They’re losers!”
“They’re sweet losers,” she says, “And you know it.”
You scoff, but you don’t argue with her.
Terezi grins at your silence. “I know you like them,” she teases.
You flick her in the forehead. Her grin doesn’t waver, though, and you groan.
“I don’t like them, dumbass,” you say, “I like you. And I would hate to rag on your dumb friends, since you’re such a sap!”
Something about your words makes Terezi’s face goes soft. Your hands twitch.
You’ve never really known what to do with the kind of look that Terezi’s giving you, so you do what you do know how to do – you kiss the girl. She sighs through her nose, and you can’t help but smile against her lips.
When you pull away, Terezi says, “And I’m the sap.”
You roll your eyes and prepare a snappy response, but you see something out of the corner of your eye that has you stopping short.
The fucking bug.
You realize a little too late that Terezi’s deep inhale is a result of her trying to figure out why the fuck you suddenly decided to stare at the ground. You look up just in time to see the corners of her mouth tug downward.
Terezi’s always been clever; you know that she knows what you’re thinking about. You don’t need to explain yourself.
Instead, you watch silently as Terezi bends down. You watch as she picks up the dead bug. You watch as she-
-eats it. She eats the fucking bug. What the fuck.
“What the fuck.”
“What?” Terezi asks, as if eating a dead bug off the ground is a perfectly normal thing to do. It’s hard to tell if she’s trying to mess with you or trying to make you feel better when she adds, “It’s just a bug.”
She smiles at you. There are little flecks of bug parts wedged between her sharp teeth.
“You’re fucking disgusting.”
Terezi doesn’t respond. Then, her smile turns mischievous.
You back away as she moves forward.
“Terezi,” you warn.
“Vriska,” she returns, all faux innocence. She takes another step toward you. You take a step back.
“Don’t you dare-”
She launches herself at you, tackling you to the ground. You shriek as she straddles you and plants kisses all over your face with her gross bug mouth.
You flail your arms, but it’s futile. When did Terezi get so strong?
“Get away from me!” you shriek. She decides to respect your wishes – but only after she kisses you square on the mouth. You sputter indignantly while Terezi cackles at the distress that she inflicted.
Still, you accept her hand when she offers it. With a little help, she hauls the two of you off the ground.
When you’re up, she doesn’t let go, and neither do you.
You brush the dirt off the back of your pants with your free hand. Once you feel like you’ve regained some of your dignity, you declare, “I fucking hate you.”
And those aren’t the right words at all, but Terezi’s giving you that soft look again. Your heart rate picks up once more – this time, though, it doesn’t feel like an oncoming panic attack. This time, there’s a different kind of tightness in your chest. You squeeze her hand.
A light, teal blush dusts over Terezi’s face and you feel another wave of affection for your oldest friend. There are more words at the tip of your tongue – maybe even the right words – but you swallow them down. All you can do is give her hand another squeeze.
But that’s alright. After all, you two have plenty of time.