Work Text:
Birds Fly- Nouis
I look in the body length mirror as I try to tie the tie around my neck. I honesty look like shit. I have an solemn expression on my face, my eyes are a sad grey, instead of my usual happy blue. Dark circles surrounds my eyes, making them look even gloomier.
I haven't got a lot of sleep recently, with all the funereal planning.
I sigh as I can't get the stupid tie right. Usually i would've asked Niall to help me with this.
He used to do things like this for me, but he's not here to help me anymore.
Fuck it, I think and just as I'm about to rip the stupid tie off and throw it on the floor, I hear a knock on the door. The door slowly opens.
"Louis? Are you ready to go?" Liam ask me with a gentle voice.
"No. I can't get this shit tie on!" I already feel like crying and the funeral haven't even started yet.
"Let me help you." He steps out of the door way and walks over to me. He quickly ties the tie and I admit that he did a good job, but /no one/ compares to my Nialler.
I grabbed Niall's guitar, standing in the corner and walked out the door.
As soon as I reached the bottom of the stairs, I felt a body collide with mine. I looked down and saw the blond hair that resembled Niall's mother, Maura.
I hugged her close as we both cried.
"I miss my baby boy." She cried into my shoulder.
"I miss him too, so, so much." I cried and hugged her tighter.
I stepped out of the car, guitar in hand and the bells of the church ringing loudly. I slammed the car door shut and walked to the entrance of the church and shook hands with the priest.
The first thing I saw when I entered the church was the open, white casket at the alter. A lot of different flowers were placed around the little podium.
I walked to the front row, were I'm supposed to sit, and gently sat the guitar down. I then continued walking up to the alter.
I clearly remember the last time I was in this church, at this alter. It was the best day of my life.
That day it was me waiting at the alter and Niall walking down the aisle.
Today it's the other way around. And a completely different occasion.
I held my breath as I neared the casket. I looked over his soft features and I completely lost the breath I was holding. Even dead he still looks breathtakingly beautiful.
The white suit he is wearing, is the exact same he wore on our wedding day.
A tear escaped my eye and rolled down my cheek and past my chin, landing on his cheek.
I gently stroked my hand along his soft, cold cheek, wiping away the tear.
My hand traveled further down, until it reached his stomach where his hands were placed, holding a single red rose.
On his left ring finger were the ring that I gave him at the alter. I let my finger run lightly over the engraved word.
Forever
The church was full of people now and there wasn't many people that I didn't recognize.
The priest walked onto the podium, making everybody stop the small talk that had previously filled the room.
"We are gathered here to say farewell to Niall James Horan, husband name Tomlinson, and to commit him into the hands of God..."
And after that, I zoned out.
"Psst. Louis!" I hear someone whisper to my right. I turn to see Liam, Zayn and Harry looking at me.
"What?" I whisper back.
They point at me, Niall's guitar and the podium. I
immediately understand what they mean.
"Oh..."
I pick up Niall's guitar and walk over to the podium that has a lot of different flowers on it. A microphone and a stool is placed at the middle of the podium. I sit on the stool, guitar in my lap.
"Hi, my name is Louis and I am- was Niall's husband."
The crowd got a little tearful and I did too.
"I wanted to write a speech that described Niall as a person.
I sat literally sat for hours, staring at the same blank page.
I scribbled some words, but then I erased them right after.
I tried really hard... and I just couldn't write a proper speech. During this I found out why... I'm just really shit at it."
The crowd lightly chuckled and I continued.
"And when I finally had more than a piece of blank paper in front of me, it was not a speech, but song lyrics. The speech ended as a song, and I hope you all don't mind that I'm gonna sing it..."
I started playing the intro to the song and then I started singing.
"Your hand fits in mine
Like it's made just for me
But bear this in mind
It was meant to be
And I'm joining up the dots
With the freckles on your cheeks
And it all makes sense to me
I know you've never loved
The crinkles by your eyes when you smile
You've never loved
Your stomach or your thighs
The dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine
But I'll love them endlessly
I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth
But if I do, it's you,
Oh it's you,
They add up to
I'm in love with you,
And all these little things
You can't go to bed,
Without a cup of tea,
And maybe that's the reason
That you talk, in your sleep
And all those conversations
Are the secrets that I keep
Though it makes no sense to me
I know you've never loved the sound of your voice on tape
You never want to know how much you weigh
You still have to squeeze into your jeans
But,
You're perfect to me
I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth
But if it's true,
It's you,
It's you,
They add up to
I'm in love with you,
And all these little things
You'll never love yourself
Half as much as I love you
You'll never treat yourself right, darlin'
But I want you to,
If I let you know, I'm here for you,
Maybe you'll love yourself,
Like I love you
Oh
And I've just let these little things
Slip, out of my mouth,
'Cause it's you, oh it's you,
It's you,
They add up to
And I'm in love with you,
And all these little things,
I won't let these little things
Slip, out of my mouth,
But if it's true,
It's you, it's you,
They add up to,
I'm in love with you,
And all your little things"
The casket, that holds my true love, is slowly lowered into the grave.
I cry at the sight. Why couldn't it be me? He's the most beautiful and kindhearted person I've ever met. He deserved to die of age, not this cruel disease.
We were supposed to live a long and happy life together, but then this fucking cancer ruined it all. We were only married for a year and then we found out he had cancer.
The priest's voice broke me out of my, depressing thoughts.
"We therefore commit his body to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in the sure and certain hope of the Resurrection to eternal life." The priest says, while throwing soil on the casket.
I stand by, watching as family and friends of Niall step towards his grave, gently throw a rose in it and then leave to their cars.
I still stand there, as they start to cover the grave completely.
They quickly covered it with soil, decorated it with the flowers, that had covered the podium and then they left.
I carefully sat cross legged down beside the gravestone, staring at the inscription.
Niall James Horan
13.09.1993
15.08.2013
An angel has returned to god.
The sound of flapping wings drew my focus away from the inscription, to the top of the gravestone. A little bird sat there, on the top of my loves gravestone.
"Hi, little guy." It's a little weird to talk to a bird, but I just... I don't really know what else to do.
It simply ignored me, just sitting there and staring at me with its big eyes.
"Okay, then. You don't want to talk... I completely understand... It's not like I really want to talk either... I was just at a funeral, you know? Of course you don't.
I know you properly wouldn't care, but you're sitting on the gravestone of that person, whose funeral I just attended. His name is Niall and I really loved him, I still do."
I looked at the bird, seeing if I could get some kind of reaction outta it. It didn't do anything, but I feel like its listening.
"I... I really miss him... I wish I could be with him, but he made me promise I wouldn't do anything stupid, like drink my feelings away in alcohol. I did that once... When we found out he had cancer.
I just couldn't understand how it could happen to him, out of all people it just had to be him. I literally left him sitting in the doctors room, right after they told us...
That night I got so, so drunk."
It really helped talking about how I feel with someone, even though that someone is a bird.
"I wish I could do that again... I don't want to feel anymore... but I promised him I wouldn't, so I won't."
It started tweeting the same melody as the birds outside Niall's hospital room had. The same melody he took his last breath to.
A second bird with some paper in its mouth landed right beside the other.
"Come here, birdy, you shouldn't eat paper." I carefully took the paper from its mouth and put it beside me, to throw out later.
Bird number one looked kinda angry as its gaze shifted from me to the paper. It hopped down, took the paper in its mouth and sat in my open hand.
"You too, shouldn't eat paper." It put the paper in my hand and sat on my knee.
"What's so special about this paper, huh?" Bird number two hopped down to where the other one had previously sat. It put its head down to the paper in my hand and started moving it around with its head.
It joined the other one on my knee and then they both nodded towards the paper in my hand. I looked at I and noticed the word you. My eyebrows furrowed as I carefully unfolded the crumpled paper.
That was a really beautiful song. I love you.
-Ni
I quickly stood up, the birds quickly hopping off to land safely on the ground, trying to spot anyone that could have written this note, but I found the graveyard completely empty.
Okay, Louis calm down. You're just imagining things because you miss Niall.
A soft breeze carried the sound of a familiar voice with it.
"I miss you too."
Niall's voice.
He appeared right in front of me, looking so beautiful dressed in his white suit. His pretty blue eyes looking right into mine.
"Hi." A light blush coated his cheeks. I hesitantly placed my hands on his rosy cheek, expecting it to go right through it, but the feeling of his warm cheek against my cold hand surprised me.
I placed my hands on his waist, while he placed his around my neck.
"Holy fuck, it's really you."
"Yeah"
I placed my lips on his, instantly feeling warmer. I couldn't help myself as my hands slowly wondered down to his bum, softly squeezing. He started giggling into the kiss.
"Louis William Tomlinson." He tried to sound stern, but it wasn't in his nature to be stern.
"What is it, Niall James Tomlinson?" I teasingly asked him.
"I love you."
"I love you too, so freaking much." I kissed him in between each kiss, the last one being longer than the others. The sound of the two birds chirping and pulling at his trousers made him pull away.
"I have to go now, Boo Bear." At the end of the sentence, tears were slowly trailing down his face. I quickly wiped them away with my thumbs.
"One last kiss... Please?" I pleaded.
He placed his arms around my neck again, my right hand still on his cheek, and my left at the bottom of his back.
I moved my lips against his, pouring as much love as I could into the kiss.
My hand slowly left his cheek and back, as he slowly unwrapped his arms from my around neck.
"I really have to go now." He turned around and started walking towards a glowing light. I couldn't help the little smile on my lips as I watched him.
The light engulfed him and all trace of him ever being here was gone.
The two birds flew over to were Niall had disappeared, then they flew up in the sky as they slowly disappeared.