Work Text:
Haru stared down at the two medals in his hand. They were medals for his bravery. And yet, he thought he didn’t deserve them. If people knew the reason he always risked his life they way he did, they’d surely take the medals away from him. The truth was, he wanted to die. That’s why he always put himself in the most dangerous situations possible. Though no matter what, he always came out of them alive. It was as if someone was testing him and he was rapidly ranking higher because of his skills as well.
But it wasn’t the same anymore. In the army, he had met Rin. They had become partners, lovers, and promised each other that they would always come back safely. Though as skilled as they both were, they almost always ended up going to the same place together. Always keeping the other’s back safe. Putting themselves in danger was obvious and Rin really loved helping people and protecting them from danger. Haru admired that. The only reason he had joined the army was because he had been forced and had no choice. Rin had a choice and yet he still joined the army.
Rin wasn’t there anymore. He had been killed. Haru blamed himself for that, even though he knew there was nothing he could have done about it. On a particularly difficult day, Rin had given them instructions about what to do. To Haru he had whispered words of love, of promising to survive and of never leaving him. Haru had trusted him with all his might and done as Rin instructed.
Then when he turned around to look at Rin, he had been shot through the heart. No chance of survivals. Because he was in the midst of a war, he couldn’t go back and try to drag Rin’s body out of the bloodbath. No, in his shock he had repeated Rin’s instructions to himself like a mantra and made it out alive. Thereafter receiving these medals.
If there was someone who deserved these medals, it would be Rin. Haru was just waiting to be killed. He clutched them close to his heart whispered a faint “Rin” and broke down crying, the exhaustion and fatigue finally taking over him.
There was no way he could be happy about these medals.