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“Have you ever seen snow, Danno?” Steve asked, “I mean – in person. Not just on TV.”
Danny laughed softly, and turned on his side to face Steve. “Snow? Of course I have.” He backtracked after a moment: “Well,” he admitted. “Once.”
Steve was lying on his back, but turned his head just enough for Danny to see him arch his eyebrows in the dim light.
“It was during those two years at Berkeley,” Danny explained. “We had a long weekend for Washington’s Birthday the first year I was there and we drove up to Tahoe. Plenty of snow there.”
“What did you think?”
Danny didn’t hesitate. “Cold. Didn’t like it. I certainly didn’t have the gear for it.”
It was Steve’s turn to laugh then, but his chuckle was quiet as Danny’s had been. It was very late. The sliding door to the balcony was open and the warm night sky’s gentle ocean breeze floated in as the two men lay together. Steve’s condo was on the ocean. Danny was appropriately envious, so the two men spent most of their off duty time here. They both silently hoped that the condominium’s exclusiveness and related privacy would ensure theirs.
“I would ask you if you’ve seen snow,” Danny said, reaching over and starting to stroke Steve’s chest, running his fingers lightly thru the dark chest hairs. “But I know better.”
“Yes,” Steve said, with a contented sigh.
“Why the sudden interest in snow?” Danny asked, scooting closer to Steve. He felt almost as if the memory of his one encounter with snow was enough to chill him. “Today was certainly the polar opposite of snow!”
“Yeah,” Steve agreed. “It was hot. And running after Maddox made the day even hotter.”
Danny nodded. “When he tripped, I was ready to hit the waves after we got the cuffs on him, and just trust Len and his magic dry cleaning to get my suit back to rights. Felt like I’d run drills all afternoon.”
“Yeah.”
“Snow?” Danny prodded, after a moment.
Steven shook his head. “Just remembering growing up. Going upstate to see my mother’s family. They lived on a farm upstate – in Columbia County – “
Danny opened his mouth to ask but Steve anticipated the question.
“It’s just south of Albany. The state capitol.”
“Steve,” Danny protested. “Don’t impugn the reputation of Mrs. Weaver at Ma’ema’e. Third grade – we had to memorize all the state capitols.”
“Sorry,” Steve apologized, with a small grin. “So many people think it’s New York City.” He appeared to be gathering his thoughts. “I don’t know why I’m thinking of it today. Just remembering the fields, covered with white, the sky white gray with falling snow, and the wind. The wind blowing the snow until all you could see was white on white on white, as far as you could make out. You’d lose the horizon for the white. Rows after row after row of snow, arranged in wavy drifts, each flake laying in the exact perfect pattern. You might see a silo or a copse of trees, but even they were covered in white. It was – “
“Cold.”
“Yes,” Steve agreed. “Cold and bleak and a bit forsaken, at least to a little boy. It was hard to remember that in a few months, the fields would be green, the sky blue, the sun warm, and another idyllic summer would arrive.”
Danny was quiet for a moment. One thing he’d learned about Steve since they’d become lovers was that Steve was even more moody and introspective than he’d ever guessed. When one coupled that with a rather strong artistic streak, Steve could be difficult. Difficult to understand, difficult to deal with and impossible to comfort. But Danny knew one thing about Steve McGarrett and that was that it was hard to be Steve McGarrett. He stilled his hand as he rose up on his elbow to better see his lover. “Sounds like you’re glad to be rid of that.”
“Yes,” Steve acknowledged. “But I miss it, too.”
The paradoxical statement didn’t surprise Danny. “Ok,” Danny replied at once. “Let’s go, someday. In the Winter. Let’s go see snow.”
Steve shook his head and spoke matter of factly, but Danny easily read the faint strain of sorrow. “No point – everyone’s gone now. Farm was sold. There are no McGarretts left in New York. Not the city or the state.”
“There’s you,” Danny countered. “If we go to New York, you’d be a McGarrett in New York. Anyway, I’d love to see New York. I’ve never been there.”
Steve lifted his head and lightly kissed Danny. “Danno,” he said, affectionately. “You’ve never been anywhere.”
“I was in the Coast Guard,” Danny returned with a smile, glad to see Steve’s mood lightening.
“I know,” Steve said. “But the only coast you guarded was our fair state’s.”
“Yeah, yeah. I haven’t seen as much of the world as you have.”
“You didn’t need to,” Steve stated. “You started in paradise and had the good sense to stay here. I had to traipse all over the Far East until I found my home. Thank God.”
Danny took a deep breath. He wasn’t as religious as Steve was but he could echo that sentiment. “Yes. So grateful they sent you to Pearl. So grateful Stewart recommended you to the governor for Five-O. So grateful the governor listened to him. And so grateful you said yes.”
“Me as well,” Steve said, his voice heartfelt.
Both men were quiet for a moment, and then Danny spoke. He felt compelled to love this man, compelled to try to ease his soul. “Steve, I know we just – “
Steve stopped his words with another kiss.
“Whatever you want to do to me, Danno. Whatever it is, is just fine with me.”
Danny shook his head. “Not to you, Steve. With you. For you.”
With a gentle incline of his head, Steve acknowledged the correction. “For us.”
Danny nodded as well, smiled, and reached down.
PAU